Remembering the horrible games of old
by Ross Miller 
{ Jul 28th 2005 at 6:40PM }
When I was young, I made my parents take me to see Street Fighter: the Movie twice. That's right, I was a
horrible little kid who forced my parents to sit through that abomination of a movie not just once, but twice, just to
see Bison's hand pop out of the rubble after the credits (though it did make them kind of like Mortal Kombat, at least
by comparison). No matter how you spin it, Street Fighter was a bad movie (#93 on IMDB.com's list of the
bottom 100 movies). Sure, it was Raul Julia's final project before
his death (which is very unfortunate for such an esteemed actor as he was), and Kylie Minogue did have a rather large
role as Cammy, but nothing could have saved it. But there was one glimmer of light, one beacon that jumped up and
said "Hey! I am so bad I actually make Street Fighter: The Movie look good by comparison!" And that beacon was Street
Fighter: The Movie: The Game.
Leave it to Netjak to write a retro review so funny, I actually miss playing it. And yeah, I did play it,
because I was too young to know any better. What are your bad video game memories?
[via NetJak]
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Peter Anderson @ Dec 18th 2005 10:08PM
Two words: Sewer and Shark. I think this was the game that came with my Sega CD. It was so bad, that it's making me angry thinking about it right now. Seriously!
dan @ Dec 18th 2005 10:08PM
Shaq-Fu.
'Nuff said.
Brett @ Dec 18th 2005 10:08PM
When my parents got me a playstation for christmas way back when it first came out, they got me this game with it. I guess they didn't know any better, I had a SNES and the game street fighter II, so they assumed I'd like it. Amazingly, it was far far far worse than the SNES game.
Asher @ Dec 18th 2005 10:08PM
I thought Raul Julias last job was the thing on Showtime that took place South America.
Asher @ Dec 18th 2005 10:08PM
It's called Down Came the Blackbird.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112893/
vakerorokero @ Dec 18th 2005 10:08PM
My worst game experience?? ever?? I got 3 I can remember which were the first dissapointments In video games which I tought were not possible!!!
1. My friends and I rented "Friday the 13th" and we all got together at 12:00 am to make it more scary and creep us out. we even smuggled some beers and 2 pizzas for the long night. Holy shit! we found out after 7 minutes this thing was a piece of caca! we ended up going back to our each of houses for games actually any good. But Little Nemo in Slumberland was scary enough to play at midnight... good times...
2. A game called Xanadu for the NES. I rented a game every weekend so you can imagine me trying to get something out of it for 48 hours!! man, that weekend sucked!!!
3. The Ninja Turtles Game that had an overview, I can remember you couldn't even tell the difference from each of the turtles!! or even Splinter the rat!! and I liked the turtles so much I even finished the game!! I actually was up to the cashier thinking of buying it, knowing it was to crappy, but let it and someone else bought it right away, and ended up pretty mad, since I mostly wanted it as a Ninja Turtles colector item thing. but now That remember, That was the first time I felt some of the Tv or Movie Franchises don't carry well into video games, and even worst if they were made by Akklaim.
My god, I'm Old I was in jr. high when Street fighter movie came out. you were a kid?? maybe I should make a Joystiq for older gamers something like "JoystiGQ"
vakerorokero @ Dec 18th 2005 10:08PM
I forgot to mention, Have anyone of you seen that part in a Jackie Chan movie he turn into some of Street Fighter characters after falling on top of an arcade?? that 2 minute scene, was better than the this whole big budget movie! does anyone know what I'm talking about. search for it if you haven't seen it. Pretty funny.
32_Footsteps @ Dec 18th 2005 10:08PM
Wait, did someone say Shaq Fu?
http://www.netjak.com/review.php/376
I'm also finding it classic that I played all three games vakerorokero mentioned - and the title you're looking for on the second one is Faxanadu. I played that more than was healthy, too.
Also worth noting that more writers on Netjak than could possibly be called healthy get a kick out of quoting the Street Fighter movie.
Q @ Dec 18th 2005 10:08PM
Vakerorokero, the movie's title is CityHunter. It was based on a manga of the same name. Jackie's enemy (Ken Master) was played by Gary Daniel. Gary Daniel also played in the movie Fist of the north star *doh!*
Michael McGuire @ Dec 18th 2005 10:08PM
"Leave it to Netjak to write a retro review so funny, I actually miss playing it."
I'm sorry, but could someone point out 3 really funny lines from this review? I mean really. It's not that funny.
Don't get me wrong, there is some really funny stuff on Netjak, but this ain't it. It's as if the poster of this story just called it "funny" because it was Netjak, without even thinking or something.
This was the only funny part I could find:
"In this mode, you take Guile, played by Jean-Claude Van Damme, through each stage of the movie until you face Bison himself. Now, the reason why I used parentheses is this: the movie mode in this game doesnt even follow the original script. "
Yeah, um. Parentheses? I usually call those double quotes. :-)
thecryptic @ Dec 18th 2005 10:08PM
Here is a link to that CityHunter (Street Fighter 2 clip) you guys are talking about... soooo gooooood!
http://www.milkandcookies.com/links/2849/
Blue Balloon @ Dec 18th 2005 10:08PM
My worset experience that I don't like Zelda: Link the advantage for NES. It's too weird for me. (-_-)
Shane @ Dec 18th 2005 10:08PM
Hey let us not forget, street fighter II the movie also had Ming-Na in it as chun-li. What an asian hottie...
PSP-Files.com @ Dec 18th 2005 10:08PM
I still play SF:The Movie occasionally. Its quite funny to play, but somewhat infuriating that they changed some of the moves.
Lost_Canadian @ Dec 18th 2005 10:08PM
All Ninja Turtles games were awesome. You take that back!! ;)
Seriously...Ninja Turtles 1 on the Nintento was one of my favorite games ever.
Alkaiser @ Dec 18th 2005 10:08PM
Q:
City Hunter was an AWESOME movie.
If you just can't get enough crazy Chinese live-action Street Fighter fun, check out "Future Cops".
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106545/combined
A lot of times Chinese movies can't get "licensing" rights to what's popular...but that doens't stop them from making a movie about it.
M. Bison is sentenced to be executed. Unfrotunately, on the day of his execution, Bison escapes and goes back in time. So, to stop him, 3 cops from the future go back to save him...Guile, Dhalsim, and Vega. (Ryu gets to stay home, because he's the Chief of Police's brother in law.)
So the 3 cops, arrive and have to look for a judge...but none of them know who he is...just what high school he attends. So the three of them befriend a student and enroll in school. Of course...they end up getting romantically entangled. (Chingmy Yau looks quite nice in the movie.)
You can probably find it for $10 somewhere on DVD. If you enjoy cheesy movies...this is pretty good.