Console wars mean console snaps

It's unfortunate that some of the console debates that take place here and on other forums get so gosh-darned heated. We'd much prefer that people keep the tone civil and forego the baby-mama-drama in favor of facts.

That said, we can't deny that such energy often results in creative snaps that capture certain sentiments about the consoles in a few words or a phrase—a distillation of dislike, the ammo of anti-marketing.

In the interests of cultural anthropology and in capturing this bit of history for all posterity, we present to you the definitive list of console slurs… only, we'll need your help to build it out. We've seeded the list to get things started. It should be reiterated that this is not to open new debate the merits of various consoles. This is merely a fun group brainstorming exercise to catalog and document the lexicon of console debates.

We guarantee this list will seem antiquated and silly come 2009, when next-next generation consoles are announced and the cycle begins anew, but right now, the wounds are fresh and some will take umbrage at such a compilation.

NOTE: The purpose of this exercise is not humor, per se, but to catalogue the childish mindset of your run-of-the-mill fanboy. As a matter of fact, if any of these were actually funny, it would stand that they were also somewhat clever, and  probably shouldn?t be on this list in the first place.

Nintendo GameCube

• Nintendo GamePuke (in reference to the initial purple color of the launch system)

• Nintendo LameCube / LamePuke (general term of dislike by opposition fanpersons)

Nintendo Revolution

• Nintendo Devolution (in reference to Nintendo?s desire to return to gaming roots and a perceived lack of graphical horsepower)

Microsoft Xbox

• Xbux (in reference to Microsoft?s riches, the cost of the system, or the $4 billion lost launching and supporting it)

• Micro$oft Xbox (also in reference to Microsoft?s corporate wealth)

• Xbrick (in reference to the size and shape of the system)

• Xbots (Microsoft partisans and partisanettes)

Microsoft Xbox 360

• Xbox 1.5 (in reference to the allegedly superior power of the PS3, used by Ken Kutaragi [source])

• OptipleXbox (a criticism of the console?s resemblance to a Dell Optiplex)

• Xbox 180 (implies that the console is going in the wrong direction or has done an about-face)

• Dreamcast 360 (compares the Xbox 360 to the ill-fated Sega Dreamcast)

Sony PlayStation 2

• $ony Play$tation (same as Micro$oft, meant to show dislike for large corporate entities with vast resources)

Sony PlayStation 3

• CrapStation 3 (general term of anti-endearment)

• SuckStation 3 (ditto)

• GayStation 3 (homophobic and puerile slur meant to call into question the sexual orientation of he who plays the console)

• The Kutaragi Grill (a criticism of the PS3?s resemblance to a cooking appliance sold by George Foreman)

• BS3 (a suggestion that some or all of the marketing hype is?to use a highly technical term? ?BS.?)

• PayStation 3 (regarding the expected high price of the console)

• POS3 (implies that the console will be worthless/nonfunctional)