Girlfriends Against Video Games

by Christopher Grant { Nov 24th 2005 at 6:30PM }

MTV has an article up on a support group started at Kansas State University called "Girlfriends Against Video Games." They offer plenty of anecdotal evidence of a growing divide between the mostly male gamers and their ignored girlfriends.

Some of these gamers sound like they actually have a problem. One explained, "When the next week started, I played continuously, like every day. Probably four to five hours a day, maybe more." The girlfriend of another complained, "He has a campus job, and campus jobs don't pay very much at all. Then he gets his paycheck and spends it all on video games."

We can all agree gaming is great, but there has to be some middle ground if your significant other doesn't game… wait, there's a solution right there. Track down the elusive "girl gamer." Problem solved.

[Thanks, Karina]

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

Twist @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

My brother is a lucky man. While he is away in Iraq his fiance is having me teach her how to play Halo so that when he gets back they can play it together. She isn't a gamer but she is making the effort to share one of his hobbies at least.

Lansing @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

Is that a... no wait... a dreamcast controller!! how long has it been since i've seen one of those.

Jack @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

�He has a campus job, and campus jobs don�t pay very much at all. Then he gets his paycheck and spends it all on video games.�

Is it me or does she sound money obessed and according to the rest of the stuff self-absorbed too.

Mark 2000 @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

#1, who says the guy will want ot play shooting games when he comes back from Iraq? The guy is living an FPS right now.

Arcon @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

yeah, turns out the insurgents are actually Covie grunts.

jl @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

As a girl gamer, I find it far more fun to have a partner who dislikes games! (Though he supports me by coming to tournaments with me, which is great.)

If we're so elusive, perhaps a Spotters' Guide is in order...

puh_fifer @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

my girlfriend like games and I can't get on our 360 right now.

Don't think it's all fun and games when you find the elusive one

jc @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

I really appriciate having a gaming partner, she is even pretty good...

Personal experience tell me, as a gamer, that while a gaming girlfriend is important... also having at least two seperate gaming systems should be an important consideration.

jon @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

This is the 21st century right? 2000 something?

I think girls or women can earn money and not depend on their boy friend.

A, I'm just saying.

RageOverdose @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

My g/f loves gaming, thankfullly. A common date for us is a movie, a stroll through the mall or outside hand-in-hand, some dinner, and then a few matches of w/e we feel like.

FriendlySoviet @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

Pffff! Gamers don't talk to girls!

Zombie @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

No more stupid Female-related "girl gamer" entries, please. They got old fast, and they're ridiculously stupid.

nk @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

I don't know why people keep talking about gamer girlfriends as if they're so elusive and hard to find. Most of my friends including myself have one. I guess it's because some people will settle for anything as long as it has tits because they're desperate, and end up with a girl who shares none of their interests (not to be taken personally). Well, I'd say look just a bit harder.

UnnamedGoat @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

I totally agree with post 9. Girls that depend too much on their boyfriend really pisses me off. I mean, get a life, and a job and stop sucking our money

J @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

A couple that games together, stays together.

Also #12, I Concur

Vagabond Artist @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

I actually lost a significant relationship because of this kind of thing... I definitely had developed a problem.
I would spend all of my money on games until I was completely out of money and then turn around and sell the games back for money...
It was total addiction.
It's sad too because I make decent money.

The crazy-yet-understandable thing is that many people don't think that this can be a legitimate problem and I am living proof that it is.
Instead of continuing with my toxic gaming career I've since sold all of my gaming consoles and games.

Ultimately, I shouldn't even be on this site right now but it's still hard not to check in on the news.
I continue to fight the urge at least a couple of times a day to go to the store and re-buy all my gaming stuff.
After honestly evaluating the past few years I can't explain why I developed a dependency for games but it only got bad in the last year or so, and I've been playing games for 20 years.

If anybody else has this problem I encourage them to remove themselves from the addiction as thoroughly as possible.
Just to let you know, I'll still play games at friends houses, where I can't get sucked into them totally...

I hope my testimonial helps someone else struggling with this problem.

Todd @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

My wife supports my hobby. She bought my Xbox and pre-ordered my 360 for me while I'm deployed to the sandbox. Many times I have set her off because of video games. Sometimes I will ask her if she "minds" if I play? We compromise by playing together (after waiting outside for hours in Fairbanks, AK in below 0 weather, I didn't play the Halo 2 campaign for a few days until we could sit down together to play through on co-op). You just need to find a middle ground.

I can see the comments coming now.."Dude, she own's you" (yeah I spelled it with an O) or "I guess we know who wears the pants in your family", or whatever you all will think. Think about this..it's all about respect. You have to give it to get it. My wife is great and I couldn't have asked for anyone better for me. She's easily spent a few thousand dollars on my hobby (guess she'll never be lacking for gift ideas for Bdays and Xmas).

By the way Mark 2000, I am deployed in support of OIF right now and video games are a great time passer beween missions. You all should see some of the LAN set ups we have over here. Pretty amazing really. Now I'm not an infantry man, I fly Blackhawks so I don't have the same point of view.

See you all on Live when I get back to the states, Todd (Live gamertag "Short Life")

Nephus @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

Yeah, I married a girl gamer. The only game related fights we have are who gets to play first when we get off work. =)

p-diddy @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

Vagabond, I don't know how old you are, but I sort of grew out of it. I too used to spend a load on games, always buying them the day they came out and playing it a bit before obsessing over the next release. I still have some PS1 games that are in their shrink wrap.

But after seeing my credit card bills grow and realizing I had a growing library of games I hadn't played all the way through I finally realized that I don't _need_ games. I attribute part of it to simply getting older. I probably blew $700 on the PS2 launch. This time around I had a 360 pre-order and canceled it. I just took a step back and said "I don't need to spend $500 right before christmas. I don't need to be the first kid on the block with it."

For people that think it's bad this guy spends his campus job paycheck on games, I think it's worse when you have a well-paying job. Too many times I justified my $100 tuesdays (two games) because "hey, I make good money and I get paid again in 2 weeks. What's the big deal." But by next Tuesday, I wanted the games knew my account was getting a little low, so I'd put it on my credit card, knowing I'll pay it down next month. But the cycle kept repeating.

To be really personal, part of this behavior was because I used video games to escape my real world problems, to the point of being unhealthy, but that's another story.

The bottom line is, yes it can be a problem, but it's a matter of self-control. Realize that you don't _need_ to be entertained and if you have to have a game, wait 6 months when the game will be $20 instead of $50. I've actually swung now to the other side of the spectrum, refusing to buy a game until it becomes a greatest hit and drops in price. I'm still waiting for Lego Star Wars to drop. I just won't pay $30 for it. :-)

-p-

Q @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

i have a gamer girlfriend :-) and shes a sony fanboy err...girl. And im an xbox fanboy. It can be really fun. She likes pocketpc and i like palm. She like nokia and i like Sony Ericsson. While the flamewar is fun, but more importantly we share the same passion. Pro technology, pro gaming ! And yes, she works and support herself :P She bought her own games. And while she didnt play fps, we did have fun playing co op games like the LOTR series or the latest Harry Potter and the GOF. Just keep her away from the sims 2 and you will be fine :-)

Efren @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

It's just like anything else in a relationship. If the girl knew their BF was a gamer then they shouldn't have gotten into a relationship with them if they had a problem with that.

Just like dating a smoker or someone who's house is in a mess all the time. If they were that way before, you shouldn't have been with them if you didn't like it.

Mark Korsak @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

thats bull... that just pisses me off. I had a girlfriend once, and shed always wonder why I played video games while on the phone with her. It just so happens she noticed it mostly when I rented Zelda: Four Swords Adventure, and had to beat it in the week I had it. Wed be talking and say casually, so whatr u up to? So id be truthful and say playing video games. Sometimes shed be interested and say like what game, and ooh i think iv heard of zelda before... We arent going out now, but video games had nothing at all to do with the break up
1. If some guy whos into gaming wants a girlfriend, then he has to give her some time, and not all gaming. I know that.
2. if your a girl who likes a guy, you gotta realize that the guy cant give 100% of his attention to you. this is where my relationship went wrong. I loved spending time with her, but she tried to pull me out of my everyday life, she didnt even want me to go to work, or go hang out with friends, and yes even sometimes play video games. we were only teenagers afterall, and we need to use the time we still have for some recreational use.
3. Video games isnt some kid thing you can grow out of. I think of video games on a much larger scale, and I guarantee you that I will go into the industry someday. No body thinks making movies, or being a lawyer is childish and something you can grow out of, so why dont they think video games are like that?
4. if your a girl who dosnt like video games, then allright, but that dosnt mean that your boyfriend cant like video games. and if you cant stand them, then either deal with it, or look for someone else.

nightshadow97 @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

HEY GUYS THE NEXT TIME YOUR GIRL GETS ON YOUR A#@ ABOUT GAMING....TELL HER THIS....HEY WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE ME GO OUT WITH THE GUYS TO THE BARS AND COME HOME DRUNK...OR WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE ME GET ONLINE WITH THE GUYS STAY AT HOME WITH YOU AND BE SOBER......ITS WHAT I TELL MY GIRLFRIEND....AND AFTER THAT SHE DOESNT COMPLAIN ANY MORE....WOMEN NEED TO KNOW THAT MEN HAVE HOBBIES TOO...ALTHOUGH YOU CAN TAKE IT TO A DEGREE OF INFATUATION...BUT I DONT...I ONLY PLAY ABOUT 15 TO 16 HOURS A DAY WHICH AINT BAD.......LOL NO BUT ABOUT 2 TO 3 HRS A DAY....

James Montagna (Mario Kart Drift Squad) @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

Wow... I'm so glad my girlfriend is always there to be my "2P" instead of bitching about me playing.

Jen, if you read this, thank you for not being like those girls.

However, I also think some of those guys have a problem as well. You need to balance your life, so that you're doing more than JUST gaming. Video games are my favorite hobby, and my future business. However, I make it my effort to go out and do things with my friends, and take my girlfriend out on nice dates as well.

UDH @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

If this is really such a huge problem, just learn how to satisfy your girlfriend. Afterwards she really won't care if you play a video game in her presence for 45 minutes or so ...

Matt @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

Well my girlfriend was never into gaming until just this year. She got addicted to my DS playing meteos. I then bought her, her own DS along with Nintendogs and I think she is throughly addicted now. SHe plays my mario kart more then I do and is always willing to do some battling in Meteos.

daver @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

vagabond artist

I know exactly what you mean. i read all the reviews and then i want to buy all the games. it is an addiction. i think alot of it stems from wanting to be part of the group and to be playing the latest and greatest. i have about 30 games in my collection and i've maybe finished 2. its a constant expense and it took a shortage of 360's to prevent me from buying one. my wife is getting quite irrate with my carry on..... one week its mario kart, the next its the 360 and the next it some newer game that looks better and might play better.

the bottom line is playing videogames is a very unsatisfying way to spend your time but you never realise how big a time waste it actually is. in truth most games will disappoint because they don't offer fun.

daver @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

pdiddy
always obsessing over the next game . . . .

i get that too. its not healthy. why do you think this is ? its a complete lack of satifaction in what you had because you were hoodwinked into thinking that game'x' was one of the best games ever where in fact it was nt and it wont change your life if you play it . . . . .. the expectation ruines games. and all these reveiwers don t help because they hye these things to the heavens when pretty much every game is a derivative of everything else. i was playing metroid prime yesterday and its basically the same as asteroids with style.

stick with reading some books. cheaper and much much more satisfying.

daver @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

buyers remorse and the 360.

anyone ?

Scott @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

Its completely true, There is a problem when you're spending 12-16 hours a day playing Xbox Live(I did it.) The thing is, even on the Xbox 1, the only thing that stopped me from playing was the Xbox Locking up all the time on certain games.

Ray Blaak @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

#29:
> always obsessing over the next game

I used to do that 20 years ago, but after being addicted for some time abruptly lost all interest in gaming. Now I started again because of buying a gamecube for my son, and wow! Games have come a long way in 20 years.

So now I do it again, sort of. I read with interest about many many games, but for some reason only end up playing a very few special ones, and then to the end, over and over (recently Metroid Prime 1&2, Resident Evil 4, and now Shadow of the Colossus).

So I guess I am getting my money's worth.

>i was playing metroid prime yesterday and its
>basically the same as asteroids with style.

Um, no. No way. Maybe the first screen, but that's where it stops. Very quickly it becomes this whole lonely struggle against the planet kind of thing. Quite the experience, actually.

>stick with reading some books. cheaper and
>much much more satisfying.

Good advice, actually. But if you have to play video games, then try and make them special, so that you are richer for having played them.

Hmm, and I'll include the God of War in there too. A great rental, though I haven't decided if I'll buy it yet.

Oshi @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

If the dude is spending too much time with his games and not enough time with his significant other, then he's got a major problem. A friend of mine is like that with his significant other I always send him these articles too. His significant other got a chuckle out of the article where it said that a lady killed her significant other over a video game. But his problem is like many others. Damn you World of Warcraft!

I wouldn't call myself a gamer, but if I haven't anything better to do I will sit down and play a game for hours.

OTAM @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

My girlfriend is a gamer and i'm glad for that. The last time I talked to her over the phone she was playing Soul Calibur 2 actually and she came up my house and was playing PDZ over Live yesterday. She wanted an Xbox for last Christmas and this year she wants Ninja Gaiden so she can finish it (it's a damn hard game).

Thank god for gaming girlfriends!

JH @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

Well, I'm female and pretty obsessive when it comes to gaming. The bf was a non-gamer so the tables are kinda turned. But I've managed to convert him :)

I'm doing a bit of sideline game review-writing so I get a healthy stash of games every now and then. He's managed to get a free Xbox from some broadband deal so between us, we've got 2 Xboxes, a ps2 (mine), a GBA (his) and a Nokia N-Gage (mine, but spoilt now). But I digress.

The point is that it's never healthy to get addicted to anything, even gaming. Like I've said, I'm obessive about games (I just completed XMen Legends II recently in a little over 2 days), yes. But I'm not addicted to the extent that I don't have anything else to do but spend 20 hours a day on games. It's fully possible to convert your non-gaming partner because gaming is universal. There's definitely a genre out there that appeals to you.

I believe these girls are not so much complaining that their guys are playing videogames but rather, that they're shutting out the rest of their lives with their playing habits.

jl @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

"It's fully possible to convert your non-gaming partner because gaming is universal. There's definitely a genre out there that appeals to you."

Actually, in my experience, not true. My boyfriend just isn't interested in games, full stop. When I make him play Halo -- I did try, once, so he could see what I spent six hours a day doing -- he just repeatedly jumps off the map to see if he can cause a buffer underflow. He's a techie, and he gets his entertainment by coding, rather than gaming. There's not a single game or genre I've suggested to him that he actually got interested in. On the other hand, he quite enjoys watching games.. I guess it's a bit like a film to him.

But as a few people have said, no form of extreme addiction is healthy. There are support groups like Girlfriends Against Video Games all over the place, to support partners of addicts. And in some cases, the absolute worst thing you can do is get your partner addicted too...

Fabian @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

Yeah, I had a gaming girlfriend as well. It was a great time. Even though she would mostly go for puzzle games, she loved to team-play fps like the UT-series. Diablo was a must, and we only ever played together. Man how many hours did we spend on that? She actually really loved LAN-parties.

Also *she* bought our first console - a gamecube. And we used to play together all the time. Apart from racing games like NFS she was interested in all games. She also bought me a GBA-SP for my birthday present.

We had been a perfect match when it came to gaming. We would play RPGs and tactical games together. I think we played the GBA game "Final Fantasy Tactics" for more than 120 hours together. I was handling the controller, and she really made a huge paperwork for it. She'd always have lists on every character, what they are learning, how much they are learning, which classes they are, have been and will be. Which weapons they use, and which weapons we need for which character to learn him a new skill.
I think we maxed out our clan pretty well. It was a hell of a fun time. Oh and we played on the GameCube, so we both could see the screen-action :)

On the other hand we did have some gaming-related troubles when I had a new game she wasn't interested in. Then sometimes I'd get the accusing "You're always playing that silly game! Why don't we play Diablo together?"
...most of the times it was quickly solved by switching to Diablo and LAN a bit.

Or sometimes she'd just fire up Diablo, and when I heard the starting-sounds I'd know she wanted to play Diablo and it was my turn to fire it up and get my Paladin to help her mage.

Well it was a fun time. We still broke up at some point - but not because of gaming related things. In fact we still get along very well. We also have some games we only want to play together so we meet up to play those - but unfortunately time is sparse these days, so that doesn't happen too often.

Yeah, I'd subscribe to the "girl gamer girlfriends are great" opinion.

Jay @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

Hah @ Kansas. So in america do games get preferential treatment to girls? thats a little pathetic. Why not combine the 2 anyways? my girlfriends always up for a game of strip Smash Bros Melee.

in5ane @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

Screw what your girlfriend thinks. Just cos you're going steady, or worse 'married', doesn't mean you can't have hobbies of your own. I play games, my girlf watches nip/tuck. Remember you are still two seperate people!

super hans @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

I tell you one thing girls hate more than Abi Titmus (Paris Hilton probably for my non-UK brothers) and ah...I'm struggling...thrush combined: Pro Evolution Soccer.

Jack @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

Anyone for boyfriends against shopping?

nk @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

Hahahaha.....what's with all the anti-game sentiments? You all caught the Thompson virus or what?

Bottom line, if you think games are giving you problems in life, then maybe you should look to YOURSELF because the problem lies with YOU.

Big Suze @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

#40 > "I tell you one thing girls hate more than Abi Titmus (Paris Hilton probably for my non-UK brothers) and ah...I'm struggling...thrush combined: Pro Evolution Soccer."

I hit it lucky, my bird insists on playing pro evo. I think she fancies Adriano.

SlipstreamBRO @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

Shoot, I have to throw my girlfriend off of Sims2 in order to get my schoolwork done. Plus, she has her own Xbox. I think those gals just need to expand their horizons.

Johny-D @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

I discovered a great way to get my GF to not notice my gaming... and that was by getting her hooked on gaming too! I've come to realise that while most women don't enjoy your avg. bloodshedding FPS'er... they do in fact enjoy puzzle games, of which the gameboy advance has many. Right now my GF is rediculously addicted to Zoo, Ultimate Arcade Games (Flipside), and of course Dr. Mario (running under nes emulation). So guys... buy a gba (the ladies like the sp) and then get a flash cart (for backup purposes only of course *cough*) and get them H00kx0red!!

Johny-D @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

Oh, and to add to that... when I go shopping with my GF (which I do often)... "I" bring the gba! lol

ZeroCorpse @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

�He has a campus job, and campus jobs don�t pay very much at all. Then he gets his paycheck and spends it all on video games.�

"Because, like, I could spend all that money on shoes or clothes or alcohol or appetite suppressants. Ohmigod!"

Dude, DUMP HER. You'll be happy you did.

Anthony @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

#18: You're a lucky man. I wish you and your wife years of happiness :)

Secondly... does anyone else find that girl in the picture really attractive
?

B S @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

Why would the Kansas State guys play video games when they have the JUGs (maybe JUGGs) girls going to school there. They were HOT, we met them in Vegas...and I will tell you that I would not even look at a video game with the JUGs girls!!!!!!!!

gargamels@gmail.com

daver @ Dec 18th 2005 9:13PM

to mr ray black
i think without doubt metroid prime is just a derivative of asteroids. completely. you see the screen and things fly around and annoy you and you shoot them. you might traverse a few tunnels but at its heart every fps is just a moving game of asteroids.

and shadow of colossus is a reallly good game experience. i ve played it and finished it. as for god of war....hmmm... i find it exctremely linear. theres no freedom.. or sense of freedom in god of war...at its heart its an 'on the rails beat em up' just like streets of rage with a bit of style. its a very very shallow game. avoid. see the thing is i was hoodwinked into buying this game because every review gave it top marks when in fact its just very ordinary.....