Wacky Japanese DS manual warnings

by Vladimir Cole { Dec 8th 2005 at 11:30AM }

CheapyD over at CheapAssGamer highlights the absurdity of the Japanese DS manual by pulling out some of the strangest warnings from it.

Why do people need to be warned against putting their DS in a fire? Or against pouring beverages onto it? Or against stepping on it? Or dropping it? Or stabbing themselves in the mouth with the stylus?

Japan isn't a litigious society, so these warnings weren't produced to keep the company from getting sued. It's probably more of a tutorial on how to treat handheld electronics responsibly and is probably intended for new handheld owners—children in particular, and older adults too. Who among us would hand a kid a $100+ dollar device without first giving him some sort of lesson on how to treat it? The manual provides parents with a teacher's guide of sorts.

[Warning, links to DS manual PDF]

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

CheapyD @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

Vlad, you can put my stylus in your mouth anytime!

Efren @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

Ack!

How about a warning that you're linking to a .pdf file, guys?

vc @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

Fixed, Efren.

Jim Bean @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

Whats wrong about playing under the sheets?

Anthony @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

I am guilty of two of those. Putting my DS in my back pocket and playing while driving. Also, if it is a warning manual to teach children how to handle the device then why is there a warning about playing while driving??? Answer that one! (I know I said I was guilty of it but it was only for like five seconds while I was at a stop light.)

Frexy @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

Mmm, let's see,

I dropped it... (3 times already >.>)
I put in my backpocket one time (too big so I took it out agian)
I put the stylus in my mouth (when thinking)

... and I tried swirling with it, but it's too heavy to do because if you keep trying, it'll eventually slip out of your hands and crash I guess..

heh... I guess a 21 year old needs this too :p

Neko Tsukimi @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

I like throwing my DS on the fire. It makes a pleasant smell. I don't see why they're advising against it!

Mandarin @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

This is probably something that Johnny Knoxville would consider as pre-visualization for his next act...

yowzaboy @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

I have a Japanee import, always thought the pictures were crazy!

BTW, aburdity? Are you sure it's not absurdity? (highlights the aburdity of the Japanese DS manual)

White Rose Duelist @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

The warning is not needed because a DS can stand up to all of that. Nintendo handhelds are indestructible. I still advise against stabbing people with the stylus, unless they just owned you in MKDS and won't shut up about it.

riffgod @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

I think mostly they are exaggerated to grab the attention of the owner. No you probably don't need to be warned not to put your ds in the fire, but it's more likely that is a warning to keep it away from intense heat such as on the dash of your car on a 95 degree day. The pics are just the extremes to the actual cautions. They are however still funny to look at.

GlitchCog @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

The danger of playing while driving depends on lots of stuff. If you're driving on a deserted road playing an RPG that you don't have to look at for more than an instant every 20 seconds, while not the best idea, you probably won't kill anyone. But if you're playing Metroid in the middle of a city, you're a huge hazard.

Also, you have to consider the value of your passengers' lives. If you were transporting Hitler and the CEO of Enron somewhere, you might want to play a little DS along the way, but if you have twelve babies and Miyamoto in the backseat, you should probably watch the road.

JaSoN! @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

i've done at least half of the above

Smiling Politely @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

So if you press the top touch screen lightning bolts will come out? Sweet.

student @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

I remember hearing about someone who dropped his DS in a toilet and it still worked afterwards. I guess that's why there's no warning against that.

GAPi @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

Probably, it's the same reason why we have "Caution! Content is very hot." on hot coffee cups purchased at all shops or "The photo is enlarged to show the texture of the cereal." and such.

techie @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

What does "aburdity" mean?

The ZeroCorpse @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

The best one: Don't slam the DS shut on your finger!

... or lightning bolts will come out of it! (nod to #14)

ReyBrujo @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

"Why do people need to be warned against putting their DS in a fire?"
Well, they learned from USA. You are not supposed to dry your cat in a microwave ;-)

burnt_secondary @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

Yeah, what is the deal with playing it under a sheet??? Static electricity maybe?

Also, don't let you DS start smoking, must be bad for the DS's little lungs . . . gotta love that one.

ketch @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

Don�t keep out of the reach of children...boy, they are taking the whole "shedding the kiddie image" way to seriously

exbzurg @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

the playing under the sheet thing probally has to do with kids fainting due to lack of air or such. mosr people would probally just push the sheet off before that point, but a kid distracted by a game might be stupid enough to keep playing, but hey stuff like thats happened with kids before..... meh... or maybe the closet monster will get you idk. i was just trying to figure it out. meybe someone could translate the text for us?

exbzurg @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

actually the one about the finger on the top screen looks like the person is breaking the screen meaning uts a warning about not applying oo much pressure, and also the top screen is not a touch screen. Also the smoke one might be steam necause the steam is at the buttons and screen meaning steam can cause damage by seeping in through the buttons and meess them up or make the screen sorta "peel" of because the adhesive holding it is affected by the steam. meh.

zombiejim @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

It's quite stupid for people to say that DS owners are all little kids. Especially when I ALWAYS see little 8 year olds bitching for their parents to get them GTA games.

student @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

You know, this is a shot in the dark here but could the kid under the sheets one be Nintendo telling kids to listen to their parents? When your parents say go to bed, actually do it! Don't hide under your sheets and play DS...

okay maybe not :).

Awesome-O 3000 @ Dec 18th 2005 9:06PM

"The warning is not needed because a DS can stand up to all of that. Nintendo handhelds are indestructible. I still advise against stabbing people with the stylus, unless they just owned you in MKDS and won't shut up about it."

if they are really indestructable then try nuking one or tossing it on the street and run over it with a car....