Video game movies tank, nobody notices
by Christopher Grant 
{ Jan 10th 2006 at 3:05PM }
We knew it would be ugly when neither
BloodRayne, Uwe Boll's latest crapfest, nor Grandma's Boy, a comic simpleton devoted to video games, were screened for critics.
Eventually, Rotten Tomatoes awarded BloodRayne an embarrassing 6% while Grandma's Boy
managed to earn a relatively impressive (although still embarrassing) 13%. (We gave it an overall rating of 4/10, though it earned an unheard of 9.5/10 within the subset of
movies significantly about video games.)BloodRayne came in 19th earning just over $1 million, while Grandma's Boy managed to eke out $2.9 million. According to 1UP, Boll blames Rayne's pisspoor performance on a last minute drop in screens. "'In the last second they cancelled 1000 screens this fuckers,' he said before placing blame on his distributor. 'Romar [Entertainment] has not enough power.'"
Newsflash Mr. Boll: the sun, moon, and stars have not enough power either, buddy.
Here's the thing: most gamers didn't go see these movies for the same reason most people didn't go see these movies: because they look like crap. We didn't notice them, and the movie studios apparently don't notice us not noticing them, have you noticed?
In related news, Cinematical has a great post up of Boll, doing his best impersonation of a rabid animal, at the premiere for BloodRayne. Looking good Uwe, looking good.
[UPDATE: link for Rotten Tomatoes score fixed. Thanks, AndrewNeo]
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Chessasaur @ Jan 10th 2006 3:28PM
I was planning on seeing Bloodrayne this Friday, but none of the theaters near me were showing it. I figured it was because this weekend was a "limited release" as that's what Yahoo! Movies called it. Calling it a "disaster" when it didn't have enough screens showing it, is like calling a blindfolded person a bad driver.
pennywise969 @ Jan 10th 2006 3:33PM
Its a disaster because its a terrible movie that did terribly. I think disaster is a fairly accurate phrase.
AndrewNeo @ Jan 10th 2006 3:44PM
Hey, both links to rottentomatoes points to the rating for Grandma's Boy.
carlos the jackal @ Jan 10th 2006 3:51PM
How does Uwe Boll keep getting scripts?
peptide_farmer @ Jan 10th 2006 3:53PM
"Calling it a "disaster" when it didn't have enough screens showing it, is like calling a blindfolded person a bad driver." - posted by Chessasaur
It may not have had "enough" screens showing it, but in the theaters that did show it it still had a pretty low average - $1,573 per theater (source: http://www.boxofficemojo.com/weekend/chart/"Calling it a "disaster" when it didn't have enough screens showing it, is like calling a blindfolded person a bad driver." - posted by Chessasaur
It may not have had "enough" screens showing it, but in the theaters that did show it it still had a pretty low average - $1,573 per theater (source: http://www.boxofficemojo.com/weekend/chart/)
jc @ Jan 10th 2006 4:08PM
With this total flop... and a recent change in German tax laws, I have a feeling we won't be seeing much more from Uwe at the box office.
Uwe, can you say: "do you want fries with that?"
Spamalot @ Jan 10th 2006 4:09PM
I can think of a couple of things I'd rather do than go see Bloodrayne, like get disemboweled with a meathook
32_Footsteps @ Jan 10th 2006 4:19PM
The best part is alink following that Cinematical link (also on Cinematical), where they talk about how Bloodrayne was sent to about 1000 theaters that didn't want it. They naturally refused to show it.
To me, that just about says it all on Boll.
James Dwyer @ Jan 10th 2006 4:39PM
The movie studios DID notice us not noticing their movie. That's why they released it in January when no one goes to movies. Or do we not go to movies in January because they don't release good movies in January? Was it the chicken or the egg...
Also, the reason why Uwe Boll keeps getting scripts is because he has an independent distributor, production company, and a bit of money to play with. He has enough money to pass along to Bloodrayne's IP holder who obviously does not care about the franchise, only about the greenbacks. Notice that he doesn't get the GOOD scripts or the GOOD franchises (i.e. Halo.)
James Dwyer
JS @ Jan 10th 2006 6:03PM
I find it funny that on IMDB's bottom 100 list of basically the worst movies ever...we see our old friend Uwe's last three offerings (House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark and BloodRayne) occupying spots 16, 34 and 36. But theres is hope yet, in due time these three movies may occupy spots 1,2,3 of the Bottom 100.
Keep up the good work Uwe...#16 on the list but #100,000,000 in gamers hearts!
Jago @ Jan 10th 2006 6:18PM
(Personally) I thought Grandma's Boy was hilarious. Did it have a real story? Not really and it even the story it did have didn't kick in until halfway thru.
As for all you people whinning about how it gives a misrepresentation of gamers and game development studios? Get over it. The general non-gaming public has had that thought in their head for sometime now.
It's a total pothead movie and is one of those "dumb" comedy movies. Would I pay $10 to go see it? No. I only saw it b/c we have coupons for $6 tickets.
lc_ @ Jan 10th 2006 6:27PM
Yeah I thought Grandma's Boy was pretty good too.
I could easily parallel that movie with some friends that I have.
I think I went in expecting worse, but once I let go and just relaxed, I thoroughly enjoyed it.
Jago @ Jan 10th 2006 6:51PM
Yea...even tho the theater it was showing in was one of the smaller ones, it was pretty packed and this was on a Friday night 8pm show. People were crackin up through out the entire movie too...including my g/f who is not a gamer.
Tony @ Jan 10th 2006 7:05PM
I love Grandma's boy. I smoke weed and play video games all the time, and it enhances my experience. And From the 1up.com shows I seen, they weren't too far off on nailing the enviornment of a company that has to do with gamings'offices.
Maybe some of the characters were overly geeky...but I can bet you some of the REAL game testers are even more geeky than that.
The movie's 'real' plot didn't kick in till there were about 20 minutes left in the movie, but who cares. I went there high off my ass to sit there and laugh my ass off..not pay attention to the plot.
Kevin Parrott @ Jan 10th 2006 10:19PM
They even managed to make Kristanna Loken look ugly on the poster.
Jago @ Jan 10th 2006 10:52PM
lol I didn't realize that...she looks constipated or something. She's looked better in other shots tho.
Jago @ Jan 11th 2006 3:17PM
"And From the 1up.com shows I seen, they weren't too far off on nailing the enviornment of a company that has to do with gamings'offices."
Umm...no. I work at BIG game media/middleware company, I've tested at another smaller company and my g/f works at Shiny Entertainment. I can tell you from first hand experience that the ONLY time when people are sitting around, relaxing and playing games is either when:
(1) A project has just ended and it has shipped
(2) They are all about to go on vacation (like say Christmas vacation.)
(3) There is a company wide event to celebrate something really important.
Going off of what was going on at that "fictional" game development studio, they were in the middle of crunch time. If that was REALLY crunch time then they would all be at their desks pounding away on the keyboards and game controllers trying to get everything done. A lot of the time everyone tends to easily work 10+ hours so that everything finsihed and thoroughly tested for bugs.
I think that pot you are smoking is clouding your vision of reality.
Joey Geraci @ Jan 11th 2006 6:42PM
Yea, if you guys want to see a good well-written comedy that caters to the same audience as Grandma's Boy, you guys should see The 40 Year Old Virgin. I am sure many of you have already seen it, but what could have easily (without even trying) turned into a stupid idea tortuously stretched out for an hour and 45 minutes (which it sounds like Grandma's Boy was) turned out to be quite well written with realistic characters and hilariousness to boot. I think I see like 2 comedy's a year max, and I generally hate the whole genre, but that was a good movie, of any genre.
Jago @ Jan 11th 2006 8:39PM
I have yet to see that actually...I'll probably watch it this weekend since my g/f's sister bought it.
I can't believe he actually went thru and really did the waxing for that movie. lol
MaxBiaggi2 @ Jan 12th 2006 1:24PM
German tax laws give native hacks like Uwe Boll unlimited financing to get their movies made. If the movie fails commercially, investors get to write 100% of their investment in his film off on their taxes.
The recent law change simply closes off a loophole that previously allowed foreign companies to come into Germany, sell a film property to a German company (and license it back from them) and enjoy the same tax breaks that were intended to stimulate actual German film production.
Uwe Boll is still in business for the forseeable future, folks. What I don't understand is how so many video game developers and publishers are willing to whore their intellectual property out to hacks like Uwe Boll who will simply drag their property's name through the mud.