Dungeon Siege trailer overdoses on LOTR
by Christopher Grant 
{ Jan 27th 2006 at 10:15PM }
What has orcs, elves, John Rhys-Davies, and ends in "of the King?" No, it's not Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, silly! It's Uwe Boll's latest, In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale. What else does his LOTR-killer bring to the table: that ass-kicking bald-guy from The Transporter, ninjas, Burt Reynolds, ninjas, Ray Liotta, and, in an Oscar-worthy role, Matthew Lillard!
No, I'm not kidding, the annoying guy from Scream.
Read on for the YouTube video, or use this link for a high-res, though unreliable, version.
[Thanks, hellmasterx]
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Doug @ Feb 7th 2006 1:33AM
Oh, my lord. I feel ashamed that I have Dungeon Siege on my computer. The computer games kicked ,but this is just sad. I say again, oh my lord. Im not sure if I should laugh, or cry... ok you got me laugh. To think that someone would try and make a movie based on a game that had no plot to start with. I own both Dungeon Siege 1 and
2, and nothing like this ever happend in the games. Theykiilllleeedd it. The krugs looked nothing like that, nothing. I am going to hunt down and kill the person who thought to make a movie on this game. In pissed, of all the games that are on the PC, why this?
These are games that would make good movies, Nexus: The Jupiter Incident, Arcanum:Of Steamworks and Magick Obscura, Baldur's Gate II, Final Fantasy 7, Fallout, even Free Space 2 would make a better movie and DS!
I hope that Peter Jackson can do to to Halo, what Uwe Boll cant seem to do to DS. (I bet he can, he is a good director.)
Steve @ Feb 8th 2006 5:15PM
Oh...dear...lord.
That has to be one of the biggest piles of sh_t I've ever seen in my life. And I've been on Safari.
They may actually reboot MST3K just to make fun of this movie.
I... I just can't write any more.
Randall @ Feb 9th 2006 2:01PM
Man oh man.
That was hilarious!
Uwe Boll, you've done it again! Comedy gold!
You can just imagine him watching the LOTR movies thinking, "Oh boy! I want to make a movie like that!" Martin, you're absolutely right: he is the Ed Wood of our day. If you've read or heard his insane babble, he really thinks he's a visionary making great films.
This is shaping up to be another "Battlefield Earth." When it inevitably winds up on The Sci-Fi Channel in a couple of years, I'll watch it for a good laugh. It already looks like a "Sci-Fi Original Movie," so it might be hard to pick out of their regular lineup.
The LOTR movies made it acceptable to be a fantasy geek. Uwe's movie will set geekdom back to the "Red Sonja" level. And shame on you, John Rhys-Davies. Do you have a gambling problem or something? After years of made-for-TV junk you were finally riding high again in the best franchise since the Indiana Jones movies, and you went willingly into a Uwe Boll LOTR-wannabe? Man, dinner theatre is more dignified than that.
Finally, some observations about the trailer:
Who knew medieval farmers were such kung-fu machines. I didn't think you could be that limber toiling in the fields all day.
The folks descending on vines made me think of the RenFest reject treepeople from "Quest of the Delta Knights." Suddenly, QDK is looking like a masterpiece.
Wait. Is this Dungeon Siege or American Ninja?
Burt's helmet cracks me up in every shot! He'd look less ridiculous if he wore a paper crown from Burger King. I'll buy Burt as a porno director but no way as a king. The worst casting since Richard Gere as Lancelot in "First Knight."
60 million dollars and it looks like a homemade fanboy movie. That takes talent.
Two words. Matthew Lillard. Wow. Graduate of the Mug-for-the-Camera School of Subtle Acting. What a spazz!
The Krug guys. I can just imagine Uwe's stage direction for these guys: "Just run like Peter Jackson hired you instead of me."
Ray Liotta! Why? Was Eric Roberts busy?
Wow. All this movie needs to be a complete disaster is Rob Schneider as the Odious Comedy Relief.
That faux-Matrix slo-mo is hysterical! It was at that point in the trailer that I was convinced this had to be a spoof. This movie is going to be a train wreck! Guaranteed to be hilarious!
Khash @ Feb 17th 2006 9:47PM
Burt Reynolds is totally mailing it in.
Heria-uin Meth @ Feb 19th 2006 3:05PM
For the love of the king! What Boll did to this game? I can't understand how he did to destroy it. He doesn't even follow the story. The caravan is suppose to be destroyed, not to resist. What the elves does in this movie? And what the woman do in it? She only breaking the story. The krugs are like zombies and they move like apes. This is a Peter Jackson imitation. Nothing More. I Only hope that he won't made a movie about DS2.
Reticle2020 @ Feb 26th 2006 11:24PM
All I have to say is that Mr.Boll is quite possibly the worst director ever! The fact that movie companies are actually financing these pictures is beyond me...even W.P. Anderson makes better movies than this guy. Just goes to show you hollywood will stamp anything that has the slightest chance of cashing in on the Video Game market...their just pissed cause video games make more money that movies :)
Fantaz @ Jan 27th 2006 10:45PM
Oh gawd, who cares... ;P
Oxygen @ Jan 27th 2006 11:04PM
Looks interesting....wasn't that the guy from the movie "Hackers"?
Stu L Tissimus @ Jan 27th 2006 11:06PM
XFD. Matrix slow-mo effects in a movie trying to have a medieval feel? Well done, Uwe, well done. Now pelase, for the love of god and all that is holy, end yourself.
_habit_ @ Jan 27th 2006 11:15PM
"LOTR-killer"
Stopped reading there
But seriously Joystiq, don't go shouting this bull unless you want to be embaresed like DS fanboy with the whole DS redesign.
Jau_Peacecraft @ Jan 27th 2006 11:17PM
lillard was really good in slc punk, that shoulda gotten him some type of award me thinks, but herion bob's actor was really good as well.
random @ Jan 27th 2006 11:19PM
Cool, ninjas and Burt Reynolds. I didn't play a lot of Dungeon Seige, hopefully a fan out there can let me know if the trailer is a faithful representation of the game...
Mr. Sparkler @ Jan 27th 2006 11:21PM
funniest thing I have seen all week, and I would say this looks to be some of Ray Liottas best work since Goodfellas.
Steve @ Jan 27th 2006 11:29PM
Look it even has Gimli!! And the evil chick from T3! And the transporter! Orcs, slow mo efects....a simple farmer that knows a lot about martial arts...where can we go wrong??
James @ Jan 27th 2006 11:34PM
DOOD THAT WAS SOO KICK ASS HWO THAT ARROW HAD MOTION BLUR BEHIND IT!!!
OMGOMGOMG BURT REYNOLDS AND THAT CLEANLY SHAVEN MAN WHO LOOKS LIKE HE'S WEARING EYESHADOW!!
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG~!!$
zacolton @ Jan 27th 2006 11:52PM
Whoah, that was...I have no words. Ninjas, a kung-fu fighting farmer?, really bad acting. This may be the first Uwe Boll movie I see.
Tylonious @ Jan 28th 2006 1:25AM
That looks like something coming on SciFi next Monday.
Kajex @ Jan 28th 2006 1:35AM
#4
Dude... that was total sarcasm. TELL me that you've seen the way Joystiq.com has (rightfully) bashed Boll's craptastical movies.
ronnie @ Jan 28th 2006 1:53AM
It looks they wanted Sean Connery, but had to settle for Burt Reynolds. His armor and helmet don't even fit right, they probably fitted the costumes for connery and then Burt Reynolds had to step in.
Also, the orc guys move and jive around like the puddy patrol from Power Rangers.
In conclusion, this movie is certain to be a classic, I give it 4-Golden Drop Kicks.
Uwe Boll is the Spielberg of our generation.
Cunbelin @ Jan 28th 2006 1:55AM
Heh honestly could have been worse, clearly the Transporter was in such a high speed intense chase that he was transported back in time. He was then approached by the king of porn Jack Horner and Proffessor Arturo(who must have slid in some time before this) to help him deal with a problem. Clearly Skynet sent a terminator back in time to stop something from happening. Finally Shaggy has split from the rest of the gang and is trying to solve mysteries on his own. Can his skills unmask the true evil, who is likely some old man with a real estate scheme ? Find out when you see In the Name of the King!
Metaphyzxx @ Jan 28th 2006 3:02AM
C'mon you guys, this movie could be Uwe Boll's first success. It's obvious this movie is marketed toward gamers, it's comedy is entirely too pointed for it not to be. I laughed so hard I cried. It's got ALL of the cliche cool things for gamers. It's got epic battles... Ninja Vs. Undead. It's got a budget Sean Connery. Probably told Sean Connery he was going to be in another epic midevil movie, but he didn't see the script until fitting for the costume... I can imagine the casting decision on that one:
"We want Sean Connery type for the king... How much does he want? That much, huh? Who can we get? Who?... Where's he been?"
Mafia Kingpin get's on the bad side of the Kung-Fu/Farmer/Transporter who is the "Keanu Reeves" of the movie. Shaggy and the chick Terminator... C'mon. THis could be the funniest thing ever made if we let it.
designerwhite @ Jan 28th 2006 3:14AM
I really have to see this. Honestly. I am going to see this. Alone in the dark made me so angry, but man... the idea of watching Boll learn how to make movies right before my eyes is just awesome. They keep getting slightly less crappy each time, and it's so fun to observe. He's so different from normal hollywood crap too. There's this "other-worldly" feel to how bad his movies are - an innocent, really trying hard, badness. I think he was handed budgets a littel too big for his experience level. That's why we notice so much.
Look how hard this guy tries though, at the rate he's improving: (from 2% up 6, to 8% ratings in 3 movies)
3 movies in 2 years...
therefore, in 46 years, he will have created the perfect movie.
Postal is going to be mind-shattering. I can't wait for that either. MIND SHATTERING.
GOOD GOD, burt reynolds and shaggy...
Dave376 @ Jan 28th 2006 4:08AM
Mathew Lillard has created career suicide. He was amazing in SLC Punk (and arguably Hackers) and he has done nothing but crap since. Scream, Scoobie Doo 1 & 2, Wing Commander, some more crap with Freddie Prinze Jr., and now this....need I say more. Such a wasted talent.
Pseudogrey @ Jan 28th 2006 4:46AM
Good God what the hell was that. I've been reading about this movie but nothing could have prepared me for that. Ninjas, wierd tarzan/elf people, mole people, farmer???? Unreal.... and this thing is like 3 hours long right? They were going to cut it into 2 movies of crap but decided instead to leave the huge turd intact. Amazing.... can't wait to see him with Metal Gear Solid.... I say Keenan Ivory Wayans as Snake... Nice.
Franklin @ Jan 28th 2006 6:56AM
Let's consider this: If Boll wasn't translating video games to movies, but instead these were semi-original ideas, AND he was directing these for Troma, he'd be a much beloved so-bad-they're-good-movies director.
bangobongo @ Jan 28th 2006 10:15AM
Where the hell was the dungeon? Isn't it called DUNGEON seige?
mocax @ Jan 28th 2006 11:18AM
I thought this is the sequel to that dungeons and dragons movie a while back....
Taylon @ Jan 28th 2006 5:11PM
How in the hell did Uwe Boll convince that many recognizable actors to commit career suicide by being in one of his movies? People I like too(Hellboy, Statham, Illiard, Liotta, John Rhys-Davies, hell even ole Burt doesn't deserve to suffer by being in one of this man's movies).
http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/
perron @ Jan 29th 2006 5:16AM
AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT FOUDN THIS STUPID! How is it that the transporter guy is using modern karate moves in the time of the elves?
Calthaer @ Jan 29th 2006 1:33PM
Wow, this looks...I mean, were those people trying to act? "THESE PEOPLE WILL ALL BE DESTROYED. HA."
I feel badly for those actors. Some of them surely don't deserve this kind of treatment. This movie is such an obvious rip-off of LotR. I mean - that walk along the mountain ridge at the beginning really gives it away.
By all that is holy, WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE BRING BACK MST3K?! There are GOLDEN opportunities out there!
Wyvante @ Jan 29th 2006 6:37PM
LOTR-Killer? That guy must be on more drugs than gpg. This movie has nothing to do with the game and looks like garbage.
ReverendTed @ Jan 29th 2006 7:43PM
#22
As pointed out before, that was sar-casm.
Laid on thick, too.
Rick James, bitch @ Jan 29th 2006 7:47PM
Ray Liotta and Burt Reynolds haven't been decent actors in over a decade and the Terminator/Bloodrayne chick has never been any good in anything. Which begs the question, why are John Rhys-Davies (Indiana Jones and LOTR), Jason Statham (Guy Richie movies and the Transporter) and Ron Perlman (Hellboy) doing made-for-TV quality crap? Seriously, Kevin Sorbo should have been in this.
Vexorg @ Jan 29th 2006 10:08PM
Um, is it a bad sign when I start fast-forwarding the trailer?
Sentience @ Jan 29th 2006 10:32PM
#4 Uh, ever heard of sarcasm, wanker?
doubleYou @ Jan 30th 2006 9:58PM
#12, did you mean Spielberg or Goldberg? As in Bill Goldberg, the pro wrestler? Because the Bollster definitely has a knack for breaking up good things into a bazillion unrecognizable pieces.
Kyaa the Catlord @ Feb 1st 2006 2:26AM
Damn you Wee Bull!
sin8 @ Feb 1st 2006 3:46AM
wow...not many trailers finish with "Now in Production".
Did boll make this trailer on his home computer?
Martin @ Feb 5th 2006 8:46PM
Tell you what, if he had, it would have been better - the guys who made UNDEAD did all of their special effects on a laptop, and that was a fun movie.
Given, it did have zombies and aliens in it, but even so, Uwe Boll tends to make his characters more lifeless than the undead...
Someone should target him for assassination, even if it would be wasting a bullet, it would rid the world of scum...
What a crappy trailer. This movie will suck more balls than all of the other crapfests this douchebag has made - combined.
How does he manage to get funding for such trash? It's like giving a child bleach to drink. Funny to watch, but completely and irresponsible.
Uwe Boll is our generation's Ed Wood. Instead of making crappy sci-fi movies and pornos, though, he chose to rape the computer game-to-movie genre. Bastard.