Break up with these games for Valentine's day
by Vladimir Cole 
{ Feb 11th 2006 at 11:45AM }
It happens to even the most passionate relationships. You're young. You're hardcore. You can't get enough and
your every waking moment is spent thinking about how the next moment you'll spend together with your game. But then
your lust cools and you start to see flaws in your digital lover and you begin to think that maybe it wouldn't be such
a bad thing to take some time off, to see other games, to really figure out what's important to you in a game.
From AOL Games writer Libe Goad comes this guide to breaking up with games that might have loved at one point. She writes breakup letters to a slew of once-sexy, now sagging game heroes, heroines, and franchises: Lara Croft, John Madden, Sonic, Mortal Kombat, Castlevania, Rainbow Six...
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Embassy @ Feb 11th 2006 12:47PM
i know its nit picking..but..." mortal Combat" with a "C" ...??...
Chris @ Feb 11th 2006 12:56PM
Yeah, even the lame article linked to spelled it correctly.
bd @ Feb 11th 2006 1:01PM
It's mortal Kombat...
Anyway, the writer "Libe Goad" evidently knows nothing about videogames; he is pretty much saying that companies should dump cash cows like "James Bond" and "Madden"... Riiiiight.
"Tomb Raider"
Ok, there hasn't been a Tomb Raider game in years, and he wants to bury it just when it might as well be revived like Resident Evil 4?
"Rainbox Six"
For calling this one off you should call every military action/FPS game (especially if they have something to do with WW2). There are people that buy consoles solely for these games, and in a time where gaming might implode, every kind of game (for every kind of gamer) is needed.
"Sega has long since exited the console hardware market, and maybe it's time to throw this baby out with the bathwater."
So because Sega doesn't make consoles, that's enough reason to throw away one of their most important cash cows, specially when the next-gen Sonic looks so great?
"Castlevania"
This series never dies. The last gameboy and DS games were great, and the last PS2 game wasn't all bad.
"...we've been spending time with more vibrant fighters, like 'Soul Calibur' and 'Dead or Alive.'
Ok, Mortal Kombat is not just about the fighting, and Dead or Alive is a dog shit game that can hardly be considered in the "fighting" genre. The game became popular because of its 'bouncing' effects, not because it is actually good.
Anyway, "Shaolin Monks" was a breath of fresh air, and the last two games before it were great. The series only slipped when it got to 4, but it's still great. It just might be good to have comeback of Animalities, brutalities and friendships, but it's not necessary when the next-game will feature up to 60 characters, an excellent shaolin monks-style konquest mode, and a lot of content.
Edmund @ Feb 11th 2006 1:41PM
Great, now AOL is trying to tell me what games to stop playing. F!CK you, AOL. Here's a big middle finger just for you. In fact, have two.
Martez @ Feb 11th 2006 1:59PM
I like how it bashes the Sonic cartoon with Jaleel White when it was the Sonic cartoon that was actually decent. And, just like with Castlevania, the 2D Sonic games on GBA and DS are still solid as ever.
Awais Choudhary @ Feb 11th 2006 2:28PM
@ 4: AOL sucks...
Edmund @ Feb 11th 2006 3:49PM
Portnoy, you put it better than I did. I too broke up with AOL a long time ago and it feels awesome.
Powerlord @ Feb 11th 2006 5:16PM
@5:
There were three Sonic cartoons that had Sonic voiced by Jaleel White: The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog (AKA SatAM), and Sonic Underground.
Freek @ Feb 11th 2006 6:04PM
My break-up with AOL went pretty well too. i am now a better person (and gamer apperantly) because i no longer talk to that dirty dirty, low moral holding, site...
bd @ Feb 11th 2006 6:56PM
Oh yeah, I forgot. AOL is the worst POS that the internet could have ever spawned.
scott @ Feb 11th 2006 8:50PM
Totally agree with bd's comments on Mortal Kombat. Shaolin Monks is a shot of epinephrine into the series which was getting better, albeit slowly, after MK4 anyways.
A few things I loved about MK:Shaolin Monks.
-The opening fight scene and all the fighting cut scenes were better than most action movies.
-Brilliant uses of Kung Lao's hat.
-Horrifically humorous over-the-top fatalities.
-Free flowing combat and combos.
-Discovering that Kung Lao is the reason for MK3 Subzero's red face slash.
-Subzero's use of powers: Freezing the boat to float it. And freezing the bloodfall to climb it.
My MK Valentine would read:
"I thought it was over, but like Scorpion's spear, you kept pulling me back in.
You had me at 25-hit combo. Get over here!
And be mine."
In contrast, my Star Wars Galaxies valentine would be more like:
"You are a bad bad girlfriend. You cheat, steal, deceive, and never play fair.
"So... what are you doing tonight?"
>_> @ Feb 14th 2006 6:52AM
My god bd. Just because you lack the skills to play DOA doesn't mean it's a...how did you refer to it... "Dog Shit Game". I've seen you bash it in the past irrationally just like a rabid fanboy. You're usually far more eloquent. Just my 2 cents.