If this one doesn't
make you feel just a little bit guilty, you've got no heart. A lonely old grandma writes in to tell an advice columnist
that she loves spending time with her grandkids, but feels that her grandkids would be happier without her trying to pry
them away from their video games. Sucks to be a grandma, sometimes. Can Granny compete?
Grandma needs to remember that she's got some stuff that them new PSP thingamajiggers will never have. As a public service to elderly matrons the world over, we present this helpful guide to competing with video games:
- Cookies. Yeah, the PSP is pretty. But until Sony teaches it to shit out Chocolate-chip cookies, you got no worries, Grandma. Seriously: relax, and cook up a piping-hot batch (with nuts, natch).
- Find relevance in games. Surely you played with marbles as a kid. Marble Blast Ultra's intuitive physics and simple controls might be an easy entree into cooperative gaming with the kids that would have them bragging to their friends, "Dude, my Grandma could totally kick your Grandma's ass at Xbox."
- Change your attitude. You're never too old to game. If Old Grandma Hardcore (pictured in this post) can do it, then you can do it too, by golly. You learned to deal with Electricity, Flying Machines, Moving Pictures and all sorts of other wacky technology. Surely you can take the time to learn about the hobbies that your grandkids are interested in.
- Make sure that your spawn aren't sending their spawn to your place with backpacks loaded with antisocial handheld devices. It wouldn't kill the little bastards to have to go without for one week a year.
- Don't be boring. It's tough, we know--especially if you live in Podunk, USA, but it takes more effort than just surviving to 80 years old to hold a kid's attention or to encourage them to try stuff that you think is important.
- Did we mention cookies? Oh yeah, we did. Where are they already? Just place 'em on the table, this mission is real tough. Thanks, Nana.
