Uwe Boll "profit through mediocrity" T-shirt
by Conrad Quilty-Harper 
{ Feb 21st 2006 at 6:00PM }
If you decide to wear this T-shirt design around your non-gaming friends that aren't particularly familiar with Latin, you may be asked a few questions along the lines of "dude, did you join a German film institute or something?" To which you could respond to by translating Fructus Per Mediocritem (profit through mediocrity) before explaining Mr. Boll's reputation for making dire films out of games, funding his films via a loophole in the German law that rewards him for making films that bomb, and blaming his failures on game journos. Although once you've explained a joke that far it's not really funny any more, is it?
Alternatively, take Joystiq's special mission. If you choose to accept it, you will travel to the film set of Uwe Boll's latest movie donning an "I'm with stupid" t-shirt. Position yourself next to the infamous director and photograph yourself and Mr. Boll in the same frame. Should you, or any member of your force, be caught, or killed, Joystiq will disavow all knowledge of your actions. This blog will self-destruct in five seconds.
[Thanks, Dan]
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Grudge @ Feb 21st 2006 6:18PM
what is this loophole you mentioned? It's the only part you didn't link something to...I hadn't heard it before.
Unless it was a joke. Neither answer would surprise me
Conrad Quilty-Harper @ Feb 21st 2006 6:21PM
http://www.eurogamer.net/article.php?article_id=62899
It's in this interview - I added the link. Cheers!
geves @ Feb 21st 2006 7:12PM
so it takes $17.50 to state the obvious?
i'd rather support boll, then someone trying to make a buck, with this crap.
no offense if it's your website.
Superzapper2000 @ Feb 21st 2006 7:54PM
Copy the the Design and print your own.
hiS_oWn @ Feb 21st 2006 8:04PM
Send me a "I'm with stupid" t-shirt, a plane ticket to the city where "Hunter - The Reckoning" is being filmed and a disposable camera. Should I not return send my significant other flowers, extremely platonic flowers.
matguard @ Feb 21st 2006 8:52PM
Better yet would be a:
"I saw an Uwe Boll movie and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt" T-Shirt.
epobirs @ Feb 21st 2006 8:56PM
It isn't just Boll. A major portion of all big budget movies with strong international potential are financed through the German Loophole method. The studios have far less at risk then is commonly supposed by just looking at a film's claimed budget. This article from Slate.com details the process:
http://www.slate.com/id/2117309
A stunning amount of overbudgeted garbage can be blamed on German tax law. Boll tries to argue that his movies are inexpensive but that excuses little. The SciFi Channel financies the production of genre flicks for far smaller amounts with actors whose names are familiar solely to B-movie aficianados but do a decent job none the less. If you compare the recently broadcast 'House of the Dead 2' to Boll's previous entry the quality per dollar spent is far, far in favor of the direct to cable/satellite sequel.
The problem is that Boll simply should not be directing movies. He is like a completely tone deaf person try to conduct an orchestra. It is an indication of his self-knowledge of this deficit that he is so defensive and constantly looks to blame others. what would it have helped if Atari had released a new Alone in the Dark game at the time the movie appeared? If the game was true to the series it would nothing but a title in common with the movie.
Bool's work is profitable in the same manner as low end martial arts films. An audience can ignore the horrible script and lack of any acting talent so long as there is some worthy eye candy to enjoy. Sometimes, as in Boll's films, there are some real actors with decent resumes sleepwalking through their roles and managing to stand only to grasp at the paycheck tied to the boom mike. One has to assume Ben Kingsley has some expensive lifestyle choices when looking at the astonishing range of roles he might take on in any one year.
It sounds like Postal wants to be the Blazing Saddles of video game movies. Perhaps this will be a better choice for Boll.
Drawing from the old MGM slogan of ARS Gratia ARS = Art for Art's Sake, another slogan for Boll might be quisquiliae gratia quisquiliae aka garbage for the sake of garbage.
Clay @ Feb 21st 2006 9:37PM
#3 -- Chill. It's a T-Shirt. I thought it was pretty cool, so I even ordered one. Dang, who would have thought that people have different opinions than you, eh?
dsub @ Feb 21st 2006 10:08PM
it should say:
FRUCTUS PER DEFECTUM
or "profit through failure"
because uwe boll's movies aren't even mediocre. Resident Evil is a mediocre flick, Uwe Boll's movies are so bad I've seen better film's go straight to DVD.
kilo @ Feb 21st 2006 11:25PM
'profit through shit' seems most appropriate.
Rislim @ Feb 22nd 2006 3:33AM
My god, people. You claim to hate someone so much, and yet, you give him so much attention. It's ridiculous -- if you hate him, make a few rude remarks, and get over it already. Jesus christ. This is all I see on game news "blogs" these past few weeks -- bitching and moaning about Uwe Boll, and pictures of a 12.96 cubic inch piece of plastic (DS Lite).
This is the same thing you people did with Jack Thompson -- you basically gave him so much goddamn attention that he stuck around longer than he would've.
slow news day @ Feb 22nd 2006 10:07AM
I'm not crazy about his movies either, but this is just plain mean
Fist Of Konshu @ Feb 22nd 2006 10:52AM
Did anyone read the Interview that Conrad linked. This guy pwnz himself. Check some of these quotes.
"I've met tons of people who think BloodRayne is way better than Underworld 2, but they're not going on the Internet and writing that..."
"If people really think I'm completely talentless, and this is to journalists, they should at least rent one of my earlier movies, like Heart of America, which is a really, really good movie. And then they should say, 'Okay, this is the history of this director, we should judge him based on this.' They shouldn't say, 'This guy cannot make movies,' because this is unfair. I think it's very arrogant that a lot of journalists are not even willing see that movie before they judge my directing ability."
1 - I don't know what stoners he found that thought Bloodrayne was better than Underworld 2.
2 - Since when does a directors previous movies have any effect on how we judge this movie. I watch a movie and 9 times out of 10 I don't know who directs it. I judge the movie by the movie.
Gonzo @ Feb 22nd 2006 12:51PM
Isn't he doing pac-man with Jack Black too?
The only way he's going to do a good film is if we get him a large amount of mushrooms some laser-lights and The Rock in spandex. Lock them in a dark room with nothing to eat but the mushrooms and no light but the lasers, he might actually come up with a fitting (at least) film of Rez.
I'm curious though: does he really like games, really hate games, or is he just desperate for work and just takes whatever nobody else will make.