"I EAT POO" tops Metroid Prime online leaderboards

by Conrad Quilty-Harper on Mar 23rd 2006 5:30PM

Just when we were starting to think that there was hope for the video game community, someone called "I EAT POO" goes and tops 5 out of the 8 leaderboards in Metroid Prime: Hunters. We're too disillusioned to accurately describe how it feels to be beaten by someone whose name takes its inspiration from feces, so we'll just throw the words "anger", "pain" and "disappointment" in your general direction and hope that you can empathise.

In other more mature news, Nathan dropped us a line to tell us that WitendoFi.com (a Nintendo Wifi community) is now tracking aforementioned Metroid Prime stats for its users. So come on WitendoFi users, kick Mr. Pooman's pongy butt off the leaderboards!

[Via fark. Thanks, murph and Nathan Grebowiec]

Update: fixed poo related error. Thanks denigod!

Source

Tags: DS, games, metroid prime, MetroidPrime, online gaming, OnlineGaming, POO

Reader Comments (37)

The article says the user is "EAT MY POO" and the image appears to be "I EAT POO", which is correct?

why should he be kicked? Because his name is I eat Poo? Or is it that he's kicking but over everyone else?

usually i'm not one for scatalogical humor, but my god, that is hilarious.

"I EAT POO" apparently... The name that's correct that is. Not me. Obviously. And to be honest the whole thing is quite funny. In an adolescent way, but funny.

Think about this, with all the people who are now playing online, how on earth could he have consecutively won every single game he has played? That's 320/320. Check the consecutive wins section, the only one close is 49.

Let's put this in contrast, 49:320. that's about 1:7.

That's not possible w/o cheating.

Yeah, right, like nobody at Joystiq ever entered "ASS" or "POO" for their initials on an arcade game high score.

To complete the trope, a hero by the name of I POOPED should stand up and outrank I EAT POO.

At that point the politicians will have a fieldday.

And by 'poo' I think it means 'the competition'...dang.

I think it's funny that we're all being bested by a person who claims to eat fecal matter.

This guy is obviosly a cheater how come no one noticed yet??? He played 320 games and won 320 games I dont care how good you are no one is that good. He must have 2 ds's and 2 games and conects and kills himself over and over to be on the leader boards.

Hate to be a stickler, but "feces" was spelled incorrectly.

Thanks!

LMAO

I congradulate the kid, he managed to disgrace the metroid prime leaderboards with his sillyness and now he's making headlines.

Cant wait to get my hands on MPH this weekend.

I didn't know Ralph was into FPSs

he is playing himself or someone who lets him win all the time.

Really, if someone can dominate that completely, he (or she) deserves to use whatever name he (or she) wants.

I XD'd. I think this is funny.

Fortunately, this situation will probably motivated people to get better at the game so his name will be removed from the board.

Or is that unfortunately? Because when I get the game later in life, I'll be pwned? =[

Like AHA said, he's probably playing with a friend that let him win all the time. Happens also with GRAW on Live, don't remember his name but the guy only plays with his friends and they let him win all the time.

Am I the only one who literally can't play that game, due to its controls? It bugs me like crazy, being that I love the Metroid Prime series and plunked down $34.99 for the title. If Oblivion didn't come out the same day and suck up much of my gaming hours (and hours that weren't even meant for gaming), I'd be enraged. As it is, I'm just slightly perturbed.

I did try the alternate control setup, but it reminded me of those horrible controls in Turok on the N64. Which setup do you use? And does anyone have any secrets to playing this game for over an hour and not having your hand swell up as sharp pains shoot up and down your wrist?

I congradulate the kid, he managed to disgrace the metroid prime leaderboards with his sillyness and now he's making headlines.

--

disgrace?? look at his stats! i thought he worked at nintendo.. how else could someone have NO LEARNING curve. He must have been a beta tester or something.. I just assumed the leaders in the first week of the game were... Nintendo employees

SloopyDrew: I use the thumbpad that came on the wriststrap. It's nice, since it lets me use the D-pad instead of the buttons to move (I'm left-handed), and I think it controls more smoothly than the stylus.

On the other hand, if your problem is inaccuracy, stylus is probably the best you'll get.

As for comfort, I think the strap helps there, too, by letting you hold the system in both hands and distribute the weight. For the stylus, I'd try to balance the other side on your leg or a table.
Be more specific about your problems, so I can suggest better advice.

On topic, it's still a free country, and Mr. Coprophilia on the leaderboards can name himself whatever he wishes. And I'll be working diligently to beat his record, with my username of I LIEK BUTTS.

I kid, I kid.

SuicideNinja:

I'm pretty sure "faeces" is an archaic form, similar to "aeon," or any number of other words that have lost the unecessary "a" over the centuries. I'd imagine that when Martin Luther was throwing poo at the devil, he would have spelled it "faeces." If he was British, that is. Although maybe it's the same word in German.

Um... yeah. So I'm waiting for play-asia to send me my DS Lite (I don't have the Phat) before picking up MP:H, but I already ordered a cool input device in anticipation of getting constantly spanked. So as a magnanimous gesture, I will share it with all of you. It is called the "ComfortStylus" and is a flexible stylus that you can wrap around your finger/thumb. I haven't used it beyond wrapping it around my thumb and imagining my Enamel Navy, but it seems like it would offer a great level of control. http://www.comfortstylus.com

hey, i may have to invest in that ComfortStylus thing.. looks great. thanks for the tip, oe!

i haven't picked up MP:H yet, but i hope to SOON. it looks fantastic.

There should be a stat for how many times you beat the same person over and over again via 1 on 1 wi-fi play.

I'm not sure these boards are even working correctly anyways... My Hunter's License is incorrect. Says I play most as Trace and have 2 disconnects, and I don't have Trace yet and have never disconnected...

you're always gonna have stuff like this no matter what system and no matter how much they try to police it. i don't think it's that bad. i was browsing the PDZ leaderboards a few months back and found this one:

http://live.xbox.com/en-US/profile/profile.aspx?pp=0&GamerTag=TakesItInTheAss

or

http://live.xbox.com/en-US/profile/profile.aspx?pp=0&GamerTag=SlutWagon

from the Best of Xbox Live video (the one with DOA4). i won't post a link here because although i find it absolutely hilarious, it's not work safe or appropriate for young adults ;)

To add to the author's disillusionment, 'faeces' is the correct spelling. Better stick to poo - go with what you can spell.

Faeces = UK English spelling
Feces = US English spelling

Even though I'm from the UK, we're a US site so we use US English spelling. Hope that clears up any confusion over the spelling of poo.

You lot i have actually played 'I EAT POO' and indeed he is NOT cheating, at least hes not cheating that he is killing his friends only, or that he has two ds. If he has some revoultionary control schme who knows.

Anyways, If you play this guy you will have no idea what your bieng hit by, seriously. He his just plain GREAT, i couldnt belive it first but man i was getting it, lol. obviously i dont know him and unfortunately we did not exchane game codes, but trust me he sets the benchmark for how evey metroid player wants to be like.

Funny i played a guy by the same name on XBOX live a few weeks ago. I wonder if it's the same dude.
He wasnt that good on HALO2 though. :P

annoymous, I think you can pick whatever name you want to use, even if someone else has it. So there are probably several "I EAT POO" players now.

No one noticed one obvious thing: When I EAT POO was on top (there's someone else up there now, probably the real deal) he had 304 kills in only TWO HOURS of playing. This was on the first day of release. Now he has 7 hours. He's clearly found an exploit, like playing against his other copy of the game. Contrast that with the current leader, who has 286 wins in 30 hours. He's at 85% wins. Speaking of that guy, I have no clue what puts you on top of that leaderboard. If it's not win percentage, what is it?

Sorry not 304 kills, I meant 304 WINS.

You guys aren't thinking, we should follow in his footsteps, obviously eating poo has improved his skills

Heh... that's awesome.

I played this guy on XBLA at Dead Or Alive, and he even had "POO + ME = JOY" or something like that scrolling as his gamer motto on all the in-game billboards and marquees.

He was good, too. I beat him a couple times, but he took the majority of wins.

Oh yeah? Well I FLUSH POO!

to SuicideNinja - well, not to brag, but I ordered mine DS Lite from a place called Renchi.com and it got here in 3 days and now a happy owner. I think the problem with some of the other site is that they didn't foresee the hugh demand in japan and therefore significantly underestimate the price increase from japan. That means it will take a LONG time before these preorder orders will be filled... at least that's what the liksang people told me

d

HE'S FROM UK cause he says poo not poop
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
cmon ENGLAND
MAY BE THIS FORCASTS A WIN FOR THE WORLD CUP
FOOTBALLS COMIN HOME ITS COMIN HOME ITS COMIN..........

"I EAT POO" tops Metroid Prime online leaderboards

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