Kill Joystiq, win swag [Update 4]
by Ross Miller 
{ Apr 5th 2006 at 3:55PM }
Hey, how about a video game depicting the killing of the people who run Joystiq? Bet they'd be real interested in doing something about a certain game then. Maybe then they'd feel how cops and women feel about GTA. Oh, but that would require some actual thought, and I forgot: You're all gamers!
So, how about one of our Joystiq readers actually design such a game? We are not asking for anything on the scope of Oblivion or even Shaun of the Dead, but a fleshed-out written proposal or little flash game will do the trick. We'll keep this contest running for at least a few weeks and the winner (as chosen by the Joystiq staff) will win some nice swag, worthy of an exhaustive game design.
Alright readers, you have your objective, so get to it!
Update: Follow this link for some pictures of the Joystiq staff, and we'll try to get some staffers to submit better pics that you can use.
1. Okay, here's me without the beard (Rosco).
2. We are not sure what he's doing with his hands (Conrad).
3. Drunk, obnoxious, and a lover of wildlife! (Chris)
4. Vlad decided to submit 10 photos -- some good, some bad some ugly. Here's a few. (Vlad 1, Vlad 2, Vlad 3)
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Lane @ Apr 5th 2006 4:00PM
Ok Joystiq, we get it, you have a pseudo celebrity posting on your website. Seriously, does any one still care about this guy anymore?
John @ Apr 5th 2006 4:01PM
So we make a flash game where u kill joystiq ppl?
But I like your coverage :( But then I can win joyswag :) But then I don't have coverage on news.
Oh dam you Jack thompson making me have to choose.
Mark Nielsen @ Apr 5th 2006 4:01PM
I thought that's what skins were for. It's easy enough to just wrap you guys around a Quake 3 (or 4) model & get a shootin'.
neale @ Apr 5th 2006 4:02PM
how about kill JT and all his chums? wait, does this guy have any mates?
your getting pretty annoying jack. the media wont give you no attention so you come to gaming blogs?
for me to be in a videogame that would be badass. live or die (in the game, because thats what it is)
Sense @ Apr 5th 2006 4:02PM
You guys are awesome. I didn't see that comment. What story was it in?
Will you actually host the game? That would be hilarious. Keep up the good work.
InvadErGII @ Apr 5th 2006 4:03PM
I might be able to put something together in Visual Studio if that's okay.
Jonathan @ Apr 5th 2006 4:03PM
How do you know it's him?
Jonathan @ Apr 5th 2006 4:05PM
I'm the same guy who posted "How do you know it's him?" but now I look like Jack Thompson!
Nij @ Apr 5th 2006 4:05PM
I would be more interested in a project whereby Joystiq endeavors to stop giving this guy so much press.
neale @ Apr 5th 2006 4:05PM
do movie starts sound bothered about dying in films? or the poeple they play? hostel anyone? saw? why should games be different?
Ross Miller @ Apr 5th 2006 4:08PM
Sense -- click on the picture or the "read" button to go directly to the comment (it's in the "michigan game law unconstitutional" or whatever it's called).
and "jack," we checked his IP and e-mail address to verify. and you're name is getting changed back :)
Fish @ Apr 5th 2006 4:10PM
Good god, this man is absolutely insane. Not only is he "lowering" himself to petty insults, he's actually calling for the creation of a game. Doesn't he realize that if such a game were to gain popularity, it would increase network traffic to game sites.. thus increasing their revenue?
For a guy who hates videogames, he sure is obsessed with the creation of them. If someone makes this game, he should reciprocate and make a game where you persecute entire groups of people based solely upon what they do on their free time. He wouldn't have to limit himself to gamers, he could attack old favorites Jewish people or Black people. I'm sure he'd enjoy that, being a faith-based neo con.
Pyronite @ Apr 5th 2006 4:12PM
Hey, I think I see a bit of Manny back there in that graphic!
But yeah, tired of hearing about Jacky. It used to be funny. ("The mindless murder training of video games is funny to you?!")
Sorry, Jack.
Player1 @ Apr 5th 2006 4:13PM
Why bother giving this guy attention? That's all he wants. If you actually follow through, it's just giving him credibility and time wasted in his name. Plus he's probably sue you for the intellectual property.
Ross Miller @ Apr 5th 2006 4:14PM
Pyronite-- haha, yes you do. And to clarify things, WE are asking for the creation of the game, not him.
jaemz @ Apr 5th 2006 4:15PM
Haha, I almost forgot about our resident nutjob, Jack Thompson.
I wonder where he has been all this time? If he wasn't stalking us... who was he stalking?
Derbeste @ Apr 5th 2006 4:15PM
You rock for your post, Ross, but the "make-a-video-game-JT-suggested" has been done already.
I think you guys could do better.
The one thing JT fears is becoming old news. Why don't we try bringing his worst fears to life?
Chris @ Apr 5th 2006 4:15PM
I was going to post some rant about this and that but just can't bring myself to get that guy the time of day.
Jack Thompson is a washed up nobdy who has achieved nothing in his career... what a sad little man.
it's really pathetic.
GlitchCog @ Apr 5th 2006 4:16PM
There's a bit of an apples to oranges issues here.
GTA isn't a game about killing some specific, real-world police officers and prostitutes; it's about killing imaginary characters who happen to have those jobs. A properly similar game might be about killing a group of video game bloggers, not the specific ones who run this site.
Besides, you could probably find more than a verse or two in Jack's favorite book, the Bible, about killing prostitutes being an act worthy of admission into heaven. If you get to outlaw our games, I want your holy book banned!
White Rose Duelist @ Apr 5th 2006 4:17PM
Jonathan - you might want to check your disguise. The site seems to be smart enough to not let you be JT unless you are JT.
SuiXide @ Apr 5th 2006 4:20PM
...so he's inviting people here at Joystiq to make a game about killing the Joystiq guys... is he like, inviting everyone to have fun or something? Seriously Jack, it's not games that kill people, it's people that kill people. If someone can't tell the difference between a game and reality, that person has problems even without the game. I mean, I play violent games and I haven't shot, beat, or otherwise hurt anyone have I? Come one dude, get with the program. They're games and meant to have fun. How are they any different than violent movies or comics? Why not go after cockfighting instead? Or professional wrestling? They get pretty crazy there, and the best thing is that it's all staged and fake. Just. Like. Games.
Go find someone your own size to pick on. Oh, wait. You don't have anyone else because you already alienated everyone else. Good job! You win at life!
And to Joystiq: Keep up the good work. And when that game does get made, I hope to God in heaven you guys host it and parade it around. And to whoever makes it: Don't let it suck too badly.
Just kidding. No offense to whoever's working on it.
t c m @ Apr 5th 2006 4:21PM
In this game you must BE Jack Thompson as he mercilessly slaughters the joystick staff with DEADLY litigation. There has to be a hidden Hot Coffee scene with Jack Thompson and Janet Reno with loud rap music in the background though, preferably Clinton doing the rap. Given that his older "crusades" were against Reno, Clinton and Hip Hop.
Jonathan @ Apr 5th 2006 4:22PM
My name was displayed as Jack Thompson until they changed it back. I just wanted to know how you knew for sure (e-mail, IP, etc). That's all :)
JonathanEx @ Apr 5th 2006 4:22PM
Ah, we need some pictures of the staffers so we know who to kill! :P
Anthony @ Apr 5th 2006 4:23PM
The sad thing about jack is through all his supposed christian idealism he certainly stoops to a subpar level when communicating with gamers. For someone who has undergone so much education, and who supposedly does so much research on video games he has a very limited view of who the gamers are. Check the stats for college students who play video games and then go check out our GPA's, everyone I play FPS's with has around a 3.6 GPA. Even with all the time we waste playing video games instead of studying...
Ian @ Apr 5th 2006 4:23PM
Why do people even pay attention to jack anymore. We've tried ignoring him and that doesn't work, theres got to be another way..........
LaughingMan @ Apr 5th 2006 4:24PM
How about a game where Joystiq and Jack Thompson both break out the rulers?(*) Shouldnt you guys be playing video games rather than plotting your next move against a laywer? Anything about Jack Thompson is like those dumb Chuck Norris jokes. Yes yes, we've heard it, we know, it's run it's course so just stop now. If we want a refresher, we just need to wait for Coolio's comments in 4 years on the "I love the 00's"
*-yes this joke was inspired by a simular line in last week's episode of "Lost"
Lekko @ Apr 5th 2006 4:26PM
So... lemme get this straight. JT is saying that if you were the one being killed in a game than everything would be different. So when you die in a game, why does it say "you are dead" not Dante, Master Cheif, Mario, Link, Ratchet, Sub Zero... it's YOU are dead. When you play, you say, "ARGH, I died."
So then it would be different if we were the targets of the game right? Sweet. Make it. It would be awesome. I want in, make me a character, that would rock.
insertnamehere @ Apr 5th 2006 4:29PM
Why not go off his second suggestion, the one about showing sympathy to people who have lost loved ones, which he implies (errr...states outright) that we as a population are incapable of doing?
MrHoju @ Apr 5th 2006 4:34PM
Can the ending of said game be a clip of good ol JT putting his foot in his mouth?
Ludnix @ Apr 5th 2006 4:37PM
Okay now where can I get some pictures of the staff and what not? I'll start the game as soon as possible.
Patrick @ Apr 5th 2006 4:38PM
If Jack Thompson is so against violent games why does he want them made so badly? I mean he asked for the one where a mans son was killed by someone who played violent games and the man then goes on a revenge killing spree. Now he wants one where you kill people who run an innocent gaming website. I guess the next one he will want is where you kill the bullies that picked on him in school or you have to kill the girl who stood him up at the prom. I guess he has been out of the spotlight for a few days and needs his attention fix, sad really.
Hyuuga @ Apr 5th 2006 4:40PM
Jack Thompson is Truly pathetic. He is just looking for attention.
For someone so against video games he spends quite abit of time reading up here on Joystiq.
Chris Klein @ Apr 5th 2006 4:41PM
hows about u guys throw us a link some cut-outs of your faces! u can't complete a good flash game without cut-out character faces ;)
epobirs @ Apr 5th 2006 4:42PM
#18
Look in Leviticus:20. The range of capital offenses under Mosaic Law is remarkably broad.
In the 80s a bunch of UK comics writers and artists created a collection entitled 'Outrageous Tales From the Old Testament.'
http://www.marsimport.com/display_comic?ID=4498
In the piece titled 'Leviticus:20' we see Moses getting the long list of laws that cme after the big ten commandments. As I recall, this has Moses standing in a phone booth on Mt. Sinai, holding the phone between cheek and shoulder to free his hands for stone tablet dictation. He then gathers a crowd to hear the latest pronouncements from the Lord. As each new rule is spoken the crowd identifies an offender among their number and immediately stones him or her to death. When Moses gets to the last item there is only one crowd member left standing. He faithfully exacts justice on himself, after which Moses looks up from his tablets and wonder where the hell everybody went.
Aaron @ Apr 5th 2006 4:44PM
Hey, Jack Thompson, why don't you go get a F*CKIN JOB! You're 15 minutes of fame wasn't even liked by anyone, so just step down and stop being such a Jack(Thompson)Ass.
Nin10dude @ Apr 5th 2006 4:47PM
I'd like to see this game, something in the vein of I'm OK. I love 2D arcade-style games.
epobirs @ Apr 5th 2006 4:48PM
When I think of all the Quake mods people have made so they could kill and be killed by their friends, I find that JT just doesn't get it. Rational people has no problem maintaining a disconnect between games and reality. If a small subset of the population lacks that ability, why not regulate them rather than the games? It is the defective people causing the problem and history suggests they found inspiration long before games and movies were available to scapegoat.
vidGuy @ Apr 5th 2006 4:50PM
I love how he tries to trash gamers. Gamers and techies make up a vast portion of the population. I go to a private, liberal-arts, Catholic university, and I'd say that 90% of the males here consider themselves gamers. 40%-60% of the females have a substantial knowledge of games or technology. The VP of the company I work for is the biggest techie I know.
And wait a minute, I'm a gamer with a 4.0 GPA at university! JT's obnoxious and downright unsupported claims need to end. I think he's just a tad scared that the district judges are ruling that video games are protected speech and that THERE IS NO EVIDENCE THAT VIDEO GAMES CAUSE VIOLENT CRIME!
Haha, his ship is sinking. Watch him try in vain to make a respectable name for himself.
Christopher7xii @ Apr 5th 2006 4:53PM
LOL... Yes, gamers don't think. That's why we pioneered the digital era. That's why people that make games could do laps around Jack on any logics test. Hell, any gamer age 17 could probably do laps around him. The fact that he thinks Joystiq would feel threatened by one of the laziest sub-cultures in America is just silly. Which reminds me, what was with Mike TeeVee in Willy Wonka? I've never seen a gamer ever be such a spaz. Guess that's just what America thinks of me...
J @ Apr 5th 2006 4:56PM
if the game kills vladimir cole im all for it, he loves to delete posts that dont agree with his articles, hed be a good last boss!
Hart704 @ Apr 5th 2006 5:02PM
Thompson is right. We are gamers. That is why we know what we're talking about when it comes to games and he doesn't.
vidGuy @ Apr 5th 2006 5:03PM
I'd agree to that J! I've had plenty of posts deleted by the infamous v.c. --- glad I didn't lose my precious star!
Jack must be so worried that the world is going to hell in a handbasket because the games industry is a multi-billion dollar affair now-a-days. Though I guess I should thank him for having a hand in Howard Stern moving to Sirius radio. The Stern show is much better now that they don't have to worry about possible litigation from these a$$hats.
jay @ Apr 5th 2006 5:04PM
Joystiq staff, send me some pictures and I'll happily do this. You can see my email, right?
Might as well give the baby his bottle. Jack Thompson. You wanker.
Dan Choi @ Apr 5th 2006 5:10PM
Well I hope someone makes a version where you "kill" us with kindness... or flowers or the like. MK-style friendship and babality fatalities might be welcome as well. Do it for the kids. =)
Don Jose @ Apr 5th 2006 5:19PM
How 'bout a game where you, like, urinate on mongoloid litigation whores? You get points based on your arc, coverage, volume of stream, etc...
Pinky @ Apr 5th 2006 5:23PM
I think this is a job for... Thompsonsoft!!!! http://imokgame.com/
zenprism @ Apr 5th 2006 5:29PM
Sticking it to the man has never been this much fun. Wait, can I call JT a man? What's a few levels below that on the evolutionary scale (or the "creationary scale" for you Christians in the audience)?
I look forward to killing Joystiq AND supporting the site by visiting ten times a day.
Haisano @ Apr 5th 2006 5:41PM
Jack Thompson = Petulant Child
Seriously, let's explore this. He responds to practically every comment on him with rhetoric, slander, outright stupidity and an overwhelming prejudice against a rapidly growing segment of society. He claims God is helping him, claims divine purpose, etc, and basically makes himself an annoyance.
Looking at every response, comment or "open letter" (ie: publicity stunt) he comes up as a pompous windbag. There is no substance to anything he does, only bluster -- and he has gone so far as to alienate pretty much whatever support he's gotten so far.
Now, here's the response I'm going to get from him, if he even reads the whole thing:
1) "God is behind me, I'll destroy them" or somesuch.
2) "You're a gamer, you know nothing" as always.
3) Various and sundry vague legal threats.
Of course, there's always the possibility he could say something intelligent.
Oh, and Jack, here's food for thought: I'm a republican, open minded, firmly anti-terrorist and I take nothing for granted, even my own freedom as a citizen of the U.S. You can claim all you want about my intelligence or alignment or anything...but it doesn't change the fact that I appreciate everything I have and *earned*, and you take your ability to bluster and intimidate others for personal gain for granted.
Who's the real fool here?
MosquitoControl @ Apr 5th 2006 6:00PM
Has Jack Thompson ever had a rational thought?
Hey Jack, contact me. I'm just beginning work on my Law Review note. It deals with violence and video games. You're most likely not going to be in it, because you're a blowhard that seeks attention without having any form of purpose. But it's sadly worked. If you ever want to debate someone that knows the law and can pick you apart, I'm your man. I'm sure CNN would reserve some time for us.