PS3 worth its weight in Uranium
by Ludwig Kietzmann 
{ May 9th 2006 at 10:45PM }
When hordes of gamers stand in line at a press conference, eagerly awaiting a disgruntled security guard to open the doors and let them storm through, the conversations one can overhear seem to fluctuate wildly between intriguing and painfully moronic. One of these discussions, which nestles snugly between those two extremes, was regarding the PS3's rather hefty cost. It didn't take long for someone to make the joke that the PS3 is just about worth its weight in gold. The remarks got a few laughs, despite the fact that current gold prices don't quite match up to such a claim.The $599 PS3 is, however, worth its weight in Uranium. The radioactive substance so popular amongst terrorists is expected to hit $54 a pound this year, meaning that if you choose to buy 11 pounds of Uranium (and why wouldn't you?), you'll actually end up saving $5. Cutting-edge console and Blu-Ray player, or a vast quantity of apocalyptic material? Not an easy decision to make, but either investment will likely end up blowing you away (sorry).
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
netdoc01 @ May 9th 2006 10:48PM
First?
Dunno about you, but I'd go for the uranium.
mike @ May 9th 2006 10:48PM
I bet the uranium would be more fun!!!
Clay @ May 9th 2006 10:51PM
Haha! Best news article of E3.
netdoc01 @ May 9th 2006 10:51PM
Definitely. And it's not like uranium can be faulted for ripping off plutonium's functionality...
Jackie Chan @ May 9th 2006 10:51PM
what has happened this E3.. Joystiq is flooded with "news" straight out of the Special Ed class. Who let "Special" Stevie loose on the PC again!?
Seer S @ May 9th 2006 10:51PM
Best post ever.
boots (former bd (former b)) @ May 9th 2006 10:52PM
Don't forget that both have radioactive properties, and both could eventually enable time-travel!!
bubka @ May 9th 2006 10:56PM
You could always sell the Uranium if you didn't like it
Vince @ May 9th 2006 10:57PM
So the PS3 is too heavy and the controller is too light?
My god Sony, what were you thinking?
I bet the Wii is the baby bear of weights no doubt? Roooolllleyes.
StefanW @ May 9th 2006 10:57PM
So Joystiq has come out of the Wii-boy closet.
Now, can we trust any Sony reviews from you lot?
Danno @ May 9th 2006 10:57PM
Guys, guys... think about this: PS3.... or DELOREAN!
Mark D. @ May 9th 2006 10:57PM
Now is that Uranium-235 or just plain jane Uranium? Details people, details!
Zack @ May 9th 2006 10:58PM
if you compare the rate of decay of the two, I would have to say the uranium would be a better investment...
aesthetically i would also have to go with the uranium... unless sony can make the playstation glow in the dark
The New Revelation @ May 9th 2006 10:59PM
Not to anything away from such an idiotic pointless post. But terrorist want -ENRICHED- Uranium. They don't want chunks of uranium from the ground.
They have to build a nuclear power plant like Iran is trying to do before the Uranimum is worth anything to a terrorist.
But I suppose they could still stone their wives with it. Or perhaps kill their daughters for marrying a non-muslim man.
Who am I kidding. Non-enriched Uranium has many uses!!!
Julius Washington @ May 9th 2006 11:00PM
500 bucks, Hmm... Just when I thought the price of gas was f**king high.
bubka @ May 9th 2006 11:01PM
you will need a lead blanket to keep you safe downstairs for both
The New Revelation @ May 9th 2006 11:03PM
A certain bias seems to be coming through in Joystiq's blogging and readership that's really kind of too bad.
Pee Ass 3 @ May 9th 2006 11:04PM
HAHAHA, I choose this post as the best webcomic of the week, even if its not a webcomic. very good one joystiq.
"-Excuse me Sir, is this uranium more dangerous than a PS3?
- Well, the PS3 will make you deaf with coolers strong enough to make a chopper go airborne, and dont let your kids too close when its turned on, because the Heat will probably fry even their bones,
at other hand the uranium only gives you cancer.
-Then give me 11 pounds kind sir."
Intangible 360 @ May 9th 2006 11:05PM
Deadly radioactive hunk of junk or uranium....that's a tough call. Hehe this is fun :)
Mark D. @ May 9th 2006 11:07PM
@Revelation:
Really? When they kept trotting out the "Xbox 360 Annoyances" the Sony+Nintendo fanboys were loving it. Joystiq digs on everyone, and I hope it doesn't change.
elle @ May 9th 2006 11:17PM
"Joystiq digs on everyone"
except Colecovision
The New Revelation @ May 9th 2006 11:19PM
@Mark D:
I really don't know about that. It just seems to me that Joystiq is losing some perspective on the whole idea of cost v. functionality. I guess it just comes down to me not caring about Joystiqs opinion, and wanting news. Not 3 or 4 posts in succession complaining about the PS3's cost. Just like I don't need to see 3 posts in a row about how Nintendo still brings out the same games today (franchise wise) that they did 20 years ago.
Just news thanks. :)
Benny @ May 9th 2006 11:20PM
What? Didn't you guys know?
Bonkers Ken: "The PS3 will be powered by Uranium!"
Chris Robinson @ May 9th 2006 11:22PM
The PS3 is huge!
MosquitoControl @ May 9th 2006 11:31PM
" It just seems to me that Joystiq is losing some perspective on the whole idea of cost v. functionality. I guess it just comes down to me not caring about Joystiqs opinion, and wanting news. "
Joystiq is a blog site, not a news site. Remember that.
Furthermore, the best news out there is the cost v. functionality of the PS3. It does nothing the 360 does, outside of a) x/y/z tilting unlikely to be used by most games (exclusives only) and b) half-assed, unnecessary BluRay playback which is more for the benefit of Sony, who can brag about installed userbase for BluRay, than for the consumer.
So you're paying $100 for pretty much the same functionality. At launch I imagine it will be even more than that.
Pince @ May 9th 2006 11:32PM
@elle
Yeah what the hell. Colecovision has been pissing me off for quite some time now. They uh...it uh...killed my dog.
As for the post, I must say, this is one of the best video-game related posts I have ever read. If those calculations are correct then...well, that is freakin ridiculous.
And to those claiming that Joystiq has a bias. They really don't. Not even close. If you see a bias in Joystiq's posting, it is most likely because you have your own bias.(*Cough* fanboys *Cough*) They have very equally poked fun at everyone. The 360 recieved both a list of annoyances...and delights. The Wii sometimes gets absolutely torn apart for its name/controller concept, but it also recieved some hopeful praise. And the PS3 will get ripped on for being really fricken expensive, etc, etc., and if it gets ripped on, it is because it is deserved. Get over it. C'mon, worth it's weight in uranium? That's kinda funny.
The New Revelation @ May 10th 2006 12:37AM
@MosquitoControl
A couple things. I think in terms of power, just in terms of Moore's law if not flat out logic the PS3 is/should be more powerful than the Xbox 360. Maybe not by much, maybe no by any, but it -should- be more powerful.
I know that a lot of people might not like Blu-Ray, and that it even could be a console generation ahead of its time but the fact is that you are getting something for your money. I -totally- get why consumer wouldn't be happy with it as Sony is essentially strong arming their Blu-Ray player into homes, but if people don't like it, then I guess no one will buy it.
For me, I've already bought an HDTV and plan on buying another as soon the companies properly integrate 1080p into their displays. I have every intention of watching High Definition Video content on my TV be it via Blu-Ray or HD-DVD. When you look at (with current costs) a Premium Xbox 360 + HD-DVD add-on VS. a PS3 (w/ Blu-Ray) they cost virtually the same thing. Without an Xbox 360 price drop, the PS3 might even be cheaper (though I'm sure the price will drop).
The real question is whether Microsoft can get out an HD-DVD add-on for $99, $129, or $149. $199 would be a no deal I'm sure.
I understand the lack of choice, but when you look at the features of the PS3 VS Xbox 360 w/HD-DVD the prices are going to be about the same.
When I look at the best of the best in terms of graphics we;ve seen, the best stuff from the PS3 seems to one up the best from the Xbox 360. I really haven't seen anything on the 360 that's close to that 15 minutes Metal Gear Solid 4 trailer. Sweet mother of god!
So when I say Price v. Functionality, I'm looking at a PS3 vs. Xbox 360 (w/HD-DVD). And I get why people are upset about the extra cost. But 2-5 years now when the cost of the Blu-Ray drives and Cell chips start falling we could all be singing Sony's praises..
Or maybe no one will have bought the PS3 because they couldn't afford it. :)
The New Revelation @ May 10th 2006 12:49AM
@BIAS
I think all the comments are directed at me. Maybe I don't read as much Joystiq as I should to understand the depth of their slander... but to the person who said (paraphrasing) "joystiq is a blog, not a news site". WTF? Really? Heh, cause I swear it was a news site in blog format. I mean, looking through the pages of the site, I'm not finding too many things about how their day was, or how their gf dumped them or how they hate their boss. :)
It just seems like everyone is giving the PS3 a hard time and I just don't think they deserve it. Microsoft didn't do much today besides show a 2:30 minute halo 3 trailer (with no gameplay), announce that GTA4 will be on the 360 too but with episodic content (but still on the PS3 as well mind you), and let us know that we can be logged into Xbox Live Anywhere all the time.
That doesn't really strike me as big a deal. Call me crazy.
Nintendo's press conference kicked ass. Looks like it could be awesome, but um, heh... did anyone else see the guys on G4 playing the Wii games? Of course I'm sure they'll fix it, but on games like red steel the controller wasn't working half the time. They'd swing 3 for every once in the game.
I just think it terms of balance and bias, this past 2 days snapshot of Joystiq hasn't seemed to great to me. It didn't help when they published those crazy ass poll results either, heh. :)
skyman8081 @ May 10th 2006 1:44AM
Eh, you still have to make it into a gas and spin it to get the good isotopes out. Too much work.
Goobers @ May 10th 2006 2:08AM
i personally think the rag on sony's price is little high.
seeing as the next installment of FF will be on the PS3, i plan decided it's the "one". i won't be terribly affected by the price (ie it's already "paid for").
joystiq IS a blog site... just not a PERSONAL blog site. it's geared towards electronic gaming... hence all the RELATED material. but i do agree, some topics we can do LESS of.
Leto @ May 10th 2006 2:36AM
At least mention that you can get the PS3 for $499 as well.
BeatNik @ May 10th 2006 4:39AM
So I take it that saying that "it's just a blog site" is web journalism's rough equivalant of Google's perpetual "beta"s.
phipscube @ May 10th 2006 7:35AM
I think Joystiq needs to be renamed Wii Wii Fanboy.
Must admit its quite funny, but seriously guys, its getting quite obvious that you along with all your F5 tapping minions are big fat juicy Nintendo fanboys.
Anyone applied to the PSP and PS3 fanboy articles yet? we need new (Sony Fanboy) blood here to balance the scales.
Armin @ May 10th 2006 7:45AM
Ehm, Uranium is cheap, but it's useless.
To make nukes you need PLUTONIUM, and you get that from Uranium. To create 1 gram of Plutonium you need a lot of uranium + $ millions in technology and development.
And it's not popular among terrorists... It's not popular among anyone except IAEA
x23 @ May 10th 2006 7:55AM
if anyone actually wants a chunk of uranium... united nuclear has chunks in stock every once in a while.
http://www.unitednuclear.com/uranium.htm
though personally the random radiactive isotopes they sell seem more interesting... or the absolutely completely absurd magnets.
http://www.unitednuclear.com/magnets.htm ... scroll to the "Super Magnets" section for the most outrageous magnets ever.
PS3 would probably be more useful in the long run though. (possibly.)
Wild Homes @ May 10th 2006 8:18AM
I'm sure if you added up the bad press Joystiq gave the 360 from the time of its unveiling to launch, the PS3 ribbing isn't inordinate. let's just do some addition: they lied over and over, to multiple media outlets, about features the PS3 was touted to have and then didn't, they repeatedly made fun of Microsoft's two SKU plan and then ripped it off, they offered a poorly crafted ripoff of Nintendo's idea that happened to be the same controller they've been hawking for a decade and tacked it hastily onto the Warhawk demo and proceeded to call it innovative and then claimed rumble was out because it interfered with the six-axis tech and not because Immersion pwned them, and lastly spent the last six months claiming that the 360 wasn't "real HD" before revealing the more affordable, populist PS3 SKU wouldn't actually feature the ports necessary in the near-AACS-DRM-future to support Blu-Ray HD playback.
jesus, until I typed it all I didn't even realise how much it was. and I left out like three key things.
yeah, I think maybe given the amount of time Sony spent onstage screwing the pooch at the press conference, today they just _might_ deserve anything anyone, even the most fair-minded news avenue, chooses to throw at them.
oh and, the article is freaking hilarious. and I'd say that no matter what console it was about. just call a spade a spade, guys. everyone gets crapped on some times. I mean, do you REMEMBER the crapping Microsoft took about unveiling the 360 by pulling it out of a messenger bag?
lefty @ May 10th 2006 10:18AM
first oif ur waiting fir 1080p i hope u get a 60 inch tv. 1080 resolution was designed for a 60 inch tv, as long asd your tv workas in progressive format u are fine. also its likely some tiem befor 1080p even hits the market. i use 480 and 720p on my tv, looks so much betetr than 1080i. next if u want to compare graphocs lets wait till we have a playable ps3 in stores. som,e of you ps3 boys have not so much has played a 360 for more than 5 minutes. There are some new games that have killer graphics, battlefield 2, graw, pgr3, oblivian, fight night3 is sick, tiger woods and many more. ur trying to compare playable games vs a rendered cgi trailer? At this point can u trust sony?
but with all that said its comes down to the price not price vs funcuality but the price and options. now we know the ps3 is a sweet system. the 360 is a sweet system as well but if i want to be able to play what I am trying to play i will ahve to spend alot more than i did on my 360, not saying its not worth it by any means it is just will i or others pay it when we just want a game console, though i love the media center part of thge 360 sets my home network off. how many parents will buy there kids ps3's when the 360 is so much cheaper. to 85 percent of gamers its not techs, hell its not even totally games support anymore wiht games mostly going multiplatform, its price. blur ray might not be a generation ahead it is a generation ahead. we are talking bout a change from vhs to dvd just happening, until hdtv become more prominent in homes than we will see a push for hd movies, though all dvd are in 480p already but 480 p looks crappy on a 60 inch tv lol.
so to end the argument of price vs funcuality u canls add in the exytras as some of us donlt want the extras, i watch movies in a diff room thqan i game, i dontl want a bluray player yet nor do i want a hd-dvd combo. i want a concole wigth a couple games and an extra remote, i am not paying 700+ to do that. thats what a ps3 will do, tax alon is 40 bucks so 640 + exytra controller plus games. and you guys touting the 499 version it wont be the same as the 600 version. Now i am getting a ps3 eventually, i always buy all 3. i will wait for it to be out so i can play it at bestbuy and check it out better, than wait for the price tod rop or snag one for cheap on ebay. they point is that the high price tag with the late start and the debacles at e3 is really going to hurt sony. they lied to many times, made fun of the competition than showed weakness. i believ nintendo will win japan, microsoft will win the us and the overall winner will be close based on the rest of the world but i do see the ps3 as a great mchine, great extras just way to much for a gamer lik me and i am in the 85 percent of gamers who donlt care about big tech words only price. trust me i had friends dead set on a ps3 till they heard 600. one went right out and got a 360 yesterday. so i say once again its not about price vs funcuality, its price vs how much i can afford
FooAtari @ May 10th 2006 10:36AM
Did everyone miss the slating Joystiq gave the Wii when the name was announced? They are anything but biased. And this is the style of Joytiq.
Besides Sony deserve everything they get. They have tried to rip off both MS online service and Nintendos control method and they got owned on both accounts the day after. The conference was a total bore with lack of personality and any enthusiasm.
They failed to deliver on several promises, again.
From what I saw of the actual PS3 GAMEPLAY, (I place no trust in any videos) it was equaled graphically by the 360, just look at Gears of War.
If you watched all three conferences the audience cheered and clapped during MS and Nintys without whoever was on stage having to ask for it.
And as for the "what you get for the money " argument, I will be buying consoles for games. I love playing games and games is my primary reason to own one. Anything else is a bonus, but the fact it can play blu-ray as no bearing on my decision.
Anyway who watches DVD's on their PS2? The DVD playback is crap. Look at the price of a stand alone BD player, its the same as the cost as a PS3, which has much more tech crammed in it so corners have to be cut somewhere. Does anyone seriously think the PS3 can match a dedicated player?
Their two SKU's is a complete joke. The cheaper system has several features missing, which are built into the more expensive unit itself like HDMI output , making it hard to upgrade. Both Xbox SKU's were the same console unit, one had a hard disk, one didn't. They performed EXACTLY the same otherwise, the same cannot be said for the two PS3 SKU's.
All I can see is arrogance from Sony, as happened with Nintendo in the early 90's. By the time the PS3 launches I will be very surprised if there is no price drop on 360 and I expect you be able to get both a Wii and a 360 for the same price as a PS3 and get the very best of the features Sony unsuccessfully tried to rip-ff.
Nintendo Fanboy's Mum @ May 10th 2006 11:46AM
So what, I walk the streets and I only charge $5 per hour.
Only yesterday I managed to persuade 10 big negro men (who were saving for PS3's) to part with their money and give me a good seeing too instead.....all for u my son!
Neko @ May 12th 2006 4:41AM
Actually, the uranium-based bomb is more powerful than the plutonium-based bomb since plutonium is a derivative of uranium. Plutonium also weighs less than uranium if you even bothered to look at your chemistry periodic table. And because of Einstein's E=mc^2 formula, it is natural that Uranium (atomic number 92) will have a greater explosive power than that of Plutonium (atomic number (atomic number 78). You can get plutonium in 2 ways, through the earth or you can get it by recycling depleted uranium and enriching it into plutonium.
Here is the proof:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/sci_nat/05/nuclear_fuel/html/mining.stm
Enjoy your radioactive day!