"Just press the green button", I said

Oh, those fateful little words. How naive I was to think that they wouldn't affect the ability that my sister was soon to display in a casual game of Rockstar's Table Tennis.
A few days ago I was on my way to dropping my 11-year-old sister to her dance and drama class across town when I noticed that we had a little extra time on our hands. Being the gamer geek that I am, I took her to a local Virgin Megastore to see what was playing on the Xbox 360 booth. As it turned out, they had a copy of Table Tennis running, which I thought would be a nice and easy game for my little sis to pick up easily.
I admit that I was slightly blinded by the prospect of playing this title (I'd played it a few days earlier, but only for a minute or two with an alarmingly tall kid breathing on my shoulder), so in my rush to get a game going I responded to my sister's demand of "what are the controls?" in a rather brash manner.
"Uh, yeah just press the green button. That's how you hit the ball. Oh yeah, the left stick moves your player."
With that, I loaded up a game with players of similar skill levels. My sister had the first serve. After a little prompting from me, she managed to get the ball over the net by... pressing the green button. Being the arrogant experienced gamer that I thought I was, my return shot consisted of a backhand to the left with a little forward spin.
Being that I was on the receiving end of the serve, my return didn't do much to force the ball in the direction I wanted. It returned very conveniently back to my sister where she hit it back so that it landed in the middle of my side of the table. Eventually, I lost the point. In my eagerness to outsmart my little blonde sister, I had completely overplayed and had moved too far out of play to return one of her shots.
Unfortunately for me (and my ego), I went to lose the entire game without winning a single point! How could this happen? Me, a student that has devoted more time to video games than my study! How could my little sister, who has barely even played an Xbox 360, let alone Table Tennis thrash me so thoroughly?
We were a few minutes into our next game (the score being 5-0, to my sister), when I looked down at her controller in disbelief. Instead of adapting the pattern of the ball's spin, as I was doing, she was simply tapping the green button repeatedly with the occasional move of the stick to direct the ball. Because every shot I got from her was a forward spin and she was so near the net, her shots were far more rapid than my tactical shots, giving me, with my n00b skills, no time to react when I dodged my player across behind the table in an attempt to manipulate the ball.
In the end, I failed to equalize and the final score of our second game was 11-6. My faith in gaming faltered, I pulled her away from the booth after she requested another game. I wasn't about to lose another game to a girl, who also happened to be 7 years younger than me!
The way I had lost so dramatically to such an, I assumed, lesser opponent made me think of how I play real Table Tennis. Occasionally when I'm playing with friends I have to tell myself not to go for shots that are too hard. Instead, I find that it's better to give the opponent a chance to make a mistake. As Napoleon said, "Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake." If I sit back a little bit from the game, I can take in the bigger picture and hit shots to areas that the person I'm playing against is weakest.
The similarity that I felt Table Tennis had to the real Table Tennis is remarkable. I can honestly say that the feeling of playing the game was closer to real life than I've seen in any other game, especially any that you can pick up for £30 on a shelf. The closest thing I can think of that comes this close to emulating the real world experience is probably a fully featured flight simulator or a racing car simulator complete with pneumatics to emulate gravity. For this "feel" to be so accurately transferred through a standard Xbox 360 controller is remarkable. It also possibly goes some way to explaining why so many games suck.
Sure, the "poor AI, limited online opposition, choppy graphics, long load times, sloppy ports and glitchiness" are things that make games suck, but what I feel is really holding back games is the desire by developers and publishers to focus on content to the exclusion of everything else. Instead of making games that have great "physics", as Steven Johnson puts it in his book, Everything Bad is Good for You, publishers are going after that elusive movie tie-in contract or are devoting teams to creation of high definition content.
Johnson's book also highlights the fallacy of game-haters in the mainstream media (and elsewhere) that look at a game and see "flashy graphics; the layered mix of image; music and text; the occasional burst of speed, particularly during the pre-rendered opening sequences." In my opinion, developers and publishers have fallen into this same trap. Instead of generating eye candy and narratives, developers should focus on games that are about the player "finding order and meaning in the [game] world." The "feel" of a game should always come first.
Anyway, since our games, my sister has asked me at least five times "Are you going to buy that table tennis game?" To which I've replied every time: "Nah, that game sucked."
Update: fixed two typos and a couple of other issues.





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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Mitsuo Yuikihiro @ Jun 15th 2006 12:16PM
Wow, you got owned by a 11 y/o girl at a game she's never played AND by just hitting one button. Though I do hate that when you use all the tatics and stuff, but are beaten down by people that just push punch. It sure is quite frustrating.
Heath @ Jun 15th 2006 12:17PM
heh, and the point of this article is?
Grant @ Jun 15th 2006 12:20PM
Perhaps you should read the last 5 paragraphs?
Blink @ Jun 15th 2006 12:20PM
What a cruel man. Why deny your sister the chance to enter the world of gaming? It's just one more person who'll actually be willing to play against you on your next-next-next gen consoles when you have a family reunion!
I introduced my younger sister to the Marble Blast Ultra and Rumble Roses demo on the 360, now it looks like I just might be picking up a copy of DOA4 that I previously had shrug off my shoulders( apparently my sister actually DOES like a genre after all, classic fighting games).
Ipsum @ Jun 15th 2006 12:23PM
This is pretty much verbatim (even the whole pressing the green button repeatedly) what happened with my 9 year old brother and me, except we played a couple of more games and I finally ended up winning. Your experience is obviously more embarrassing, but I share your sentiments. And I agree with you on this being the closest thing to real Table Tennis ever made, but I don't think I'll really be satisfied until I see this thing on the Wii.
VaultedCeilings @ Jun 15th 2006 12:24PM
So you're experience with the real game of table tennis is that if you just repeatedly swing at the ball you'll beat someone who has been playing the game for years? Sounds like your sister discovered that this game can be played surprisingly well by just mashing buttons, though I'm sure if you had played the game more than once before you'd probably have her beat. This sounds more like an instance of streetfighter + button mashing than an amazing parallel between a game and the real thing.
OmenChild @ Jun 15th 2006 12:26PM
Reminds me of the time I took my little sister to the arcade thinking I was gonna woop her ass in Mortal Kombat... So yeah, dont feel bad bro. LOL Table Tennis is a great game. We need more like it and less 50 Cent Bulletproof.
funkonaut @ Jun 15th 2006 12:28PM
Now imagine this game on the Wii. Talk about toal immersion. As a ping pong player, I'd love to be able to play somewhat realistic virtual ping pong games.
flyNN @ Jun 15th 2006 12:32PM
LMAO @ that game sucked!!!
I remember similar instances from some fighting games... I knew all the moves, when to block, when to go for the super move. Yet, inevitably, some newb would walk up and furiously and randomly bash every single button and my fighter would fall.
Sounds like that Rockstar Table Tennis is a well balanced game, though... I'll have to check it out.
DJ @ Jun 15th 2006 12:33PM
Button mashers always seem to get the upperhand - because it is a very cheap tactic that real gamers will not use. However, if you were to get this game and play with experienced players online; I'm willing to bet NONE of them button mash. They will try to throw mad hook shots out there, which require actual skill.
Give it a chance!
hiroprotagonist @ Jun 15th 2006 12:33PM
This is a great post!!!
Austin @ Jun 15th 2006 12:35PM
You forgot your Sun Zu "Only fight the battles you can win". If you beat her, wup-D-sh1t you beat an 11 yr old girl. If you loose you look like... well I'm sure you get the idea.
Jeff @ Jun 15th 2006 12:35PM
This same thing happens to me pretty often when I play my wife at fighting games. She's NOT a gamer, but she beats me probably 50% of the time. People who are hardcore gamers can tend to overthink things, or to try to pull off impressive moves that may look nice, but have a smaller chance of success than a move that is just as effective but less visually impressive.
This is really a fundamental flaw of even well-designed multi-player action games, and it's why so many of them devolve into money plays or button-mash fests. Humans are human; they will figure out what works against an opponent and use it repeatedly, no matter how boring it gets. Even online strategy games are usually just about who can build the most stuff fastest and bum-rush the opponent, not actual strategy.
I know the point of the article is how realistic Rockstar's Table Tennis is, but what I took away from it is the fact that human opponents are not always the most fun to play against. And that's been my experience in a variety of game genres.
Cabbage @ Jun 15th 2006 12:35PM
I agree with Ceilings on this one. It appears that what this experience demonstrated was more along the lines of "knowing how to play real table tennis will not help you in THIS game." Either that or you lose in real life, too and that's why the two are so "similar."
Not flaming, just telling you what I would have learned from that experience.
sam @ Jun 15th 2006 12:41PM
Aww, you mean S.O.B.! You have an obligation, nay -- a moral duty to buy Table Tennis for her now! The poor kid's probably looking up to her older brother, and loves him, and here you go -- acting like a grade-A jerk to her! She's asked you five times as of writing and you're still acting like a giant hardass? Eric Cartman would be proud. :-(
hellmasterx @ Jun 15th 2006 12:45PM
The story of your life...
Mikeawesome @ Jun 15th 2006 12:46PM
#1: It's an editorial piece, you'd find it in any newspaper you picked up. Every article doesn't have to be some information on a game you're interested in.
Richard Mitchell (formerly Sense) @ Jun 15th 2006 12:47PM
Table Tennis is awesome. I had a similar experience with a friend of mine who doens't play games. He kicked my ass the first time he played. Great fun.
MetaHuman @ Jun 15th 2006 12:51PM
Screw realism! I prefer this!
http://youtube.com/watch?v=-dcmDscwEcI&search=matrix%20ping-pong
Anyways, great write-up. I've always wanted to know how the game played. The screenshots really do nothing for me, as they are always from some awkward view that shows how detailed and intense the characters are. :P
brad77 @ Jun 15th 2006 12:53PM
Thanks for the trip down memory lane. That reminds me of when my little brother beat me down time after time on KI Gold on the N64 by simply button mashing. After taking too many bruises to the ego, I challenged him to play against the computer on normal difficulty. He made short work of Gargos and beat the game in record time (for me). It was glorious, albeit a little humbling.
AlloyNES @ Jun 15th 2006 1:22PM
Once WiiSports comes out with Tennis, we'll all be looking at Rockstar Table Tennis as the game that was faking it. I can't help but play Tabble Tennis on my 360 and wonder "Hmm, what will this be like on the Wii?"
Pixelantes Anonymous @ Jun 15th 2006 1:22PM
Couldn't agree more with the conclusion of the article. What makes Table Tennis such a great game is its near-perfect, but yet amazingly simple simulation of the sport itself. Rockstar seemed to have done their homework really well.
I've been playing this game pretty much exclusively since it came out. Button mashing will get you nowhere in this game against any player that has played more than a few games. You will lose, and lose bad, if all you do is button mash. Unless you're playing Jesper (a character with an extremely powerful top-spin shot), in which case there's a small chance you might succeed.
Playing online against a skilled opponent you better know his weakness(es) or the weaknesses of the character he's playing with or you'll get spanked. It's like action sports chess when two skilled players play this game online. You have to anticipate several moves ahead to get anywhere.
mandarin @ Jun 15th 2006 1:26PM
Nelson Muntz voice "HA-HA!"
Blink @ Jun 15th 2006 1:30PM
I guess that's why nongamers so often prefer co-op to versus, because in co-op you fight really diverse, smart AI that has diversity, while the player themselves doesn't have to be diverse, as neither player is against the other.
...of course, it also always helps to have a real gamer on your team, so that's probably the main reason why it's so popular compared to "You're just being cheap again!!"
jabbertrack @ Jun 15th 2006 1:46PM
When I rented it I was smoking people online using the girl character and only the A button because it's near impossible to hit it out of bounds due to her control skill level.
burn23 @ Jun 15th 2006 1:51PM
My 5 year old son consistantly whoops my ass button massing Soul Calibur II.
When we started, I gave him a 200% life handycap, and put mine down to 70%. After about a week of on and of playing, I found that he destroyed me within 2 mins of starting a round. I can completely destroy a seasoned soulcalibur player with expert blocks perrys and devistating offensive combos. I cant beat a 5 year old button masher.
We're currently playing with no life handicaps and he still beats me on a regular basis.
DinnyHoon @ Jun 15th 2006 2:04PM
It reminds me of the time I played my little brother at Tekken. He didn't win, or anything... I'm not a retard... it just does.
Ragnarok @ Jun 15th 2006 2:51PM
Yeah, the "feel" is important, but the physics haven't many to do with the "feel", it's more about the playability, the intuitive the controls are and all the options the game offers you.
And even so the "feel" depends on many more factors, that's the most important part of a game and the hardest to get.
Rare Hare @ Jun 15th 2006 2:51PM
CONRAD: Buy the game for your sister. You have to. Imagine how excited she'll be that you took interest in investing in a game that SHE liked and, more importantly, investing in your relationship with
her by giving you two something to do together.
Conrad Quilty-Harper @ Jun 15th 2006 3:08PM
Haha, yeah I'm planning on buying the game for her Birthday! That bit at the end was just for dramatic effect. :P
Gaye Mann @ Jun 15th 2006 4:17PM
The same thing happened to me. Except I was in the position of your little sister. Up until my older brother introduced me to Tekken Tag I had no experience with 3D fighters. Only 2D fighters by SNK and Capcom. The slow and blocky feel was too foreign to me so I was as good as a noob or 11-year-old little sister. So I went with it. I just spammed the 2 or 3 combos I learned on the spot and the power hits etc. I beat my brother pretty good. Then it all fucked up when I actually started going through the command list and trying to pull off all the moves and combos. I could do fancier things but I was losing more often. Then finally it all came together. The initial strategy I had when I was new and fresh combined with the skills I'd learned from studying it.
Then the same thing happened when my other brother picked up the controller. He started whipping my ass. So I fucked up his game by trying to get him to go through the command list.
I think this says what true strategy is. Sure you could be capable of doing the most crazy button combinations and hit a button 200 times a second. But you'll still lose if you don't know how to apply it properly. Strategy is sizing up your strengths and capabilities and how to use it to your advantage. My brother can't do very good combos or juggles. But he has unbelievable timing and he will ALWAYS catch the end of a flurry he successfully blocked with a tech grab and he WILL punish you for it. When he sees you've done a move that's going to give a high amount of exposure he will nail you with a power hit.
Pikcypants @ Jun 15th 2006 5:00PM
Guys, start playing Virtua Fighter.
Button mashers cannot win. At all. Ever.
A good test of a fighting game is whether or not a newb can kick the ass of someone who has put a lot of time and effort into the game.
The only two games that I have never seen a button masher win are Super Smash Bros. Melee and Virtua Fighter 4 Evo.
That is all.
Also, dude... buy the game for your sister.
Soon Hui Vchai @ Jun 15th 2006 6:20PM
I couldnt read the whole post (forgive the disrespect but my attention span is shrinking with every year) but this was one of the most literary posts yet. It is up there with the PS3 burger play that was a comment in response to PS3 pricing announcement. To hall of fame with thee, O, Bards!
darkbhudda @ Jun 15th 2006 10:47PM
First time I played it I was trying all the red buttons, blue buttons, soft shots etc... Worked up to the last guy no sweat then took about 10 tries to beat him.
2nd time I played I just kept hitting green and was unstoppable.
Me @ Jun 16th 2006 5:01AM
Before reading this i thought TableTennis was a fun an tactical game, chere you need skill to win.
After reading I think "ho now another sucking game where you spend days to practice only to realize smashing the same button ever and ever works better"
Curry @ Jun 16th 2006 9:42AM
Despite many comments here stating otherwise I'm willing to go on record saying that button mashing does not work. I have Dead or Alive 4 on my 360, and a while back I had a slightly experienced gamer couple over. I hadn't played in a month, but still knew all the basics and had my training in timing counters and blocks. So the 3 of us played, me doing controlled tactics, guy trying to do tactics, girl trying button mashing. Girl-guy was 50-50, and I won well over 90%.
Morale of the story: practice does make perfect, especially in nerve-twitching games like Table Tennis and DOA4. Once you got the moves, you keep them.
intel @ Jun 16th 2006 10:14AM
button mashing unsuccessful?
It depends. If a person has the skills of Daryl, controlled tactics can sometimes seem like random button mashing. And if not, successful button mashing can seem like luck.
Rafi @ Jun 16th 2006 10:35PM
While playing Dead or Alive:
Me: Uh, just press the Y & X buttons. Left stick, you know what.
And did I get smashed. Me, who calls myself the DoA master! I feel for you Conrad, I really do.