Grab the purified water (for your 360, natch), charge up the batteries (using the Quick Charge kit), and don't forget all the canned goods (for eating, stupid)! Now quickly, to the shelter! It won't be long before it's upon us ... an Xbox Live outage!
Oooooooh, shiny new features? The good Major stubs his cigar out in your bright eyes barking, "This is for maintenance, there are no new features that will appear when the service comes back online. This is all for server maintenance...nothing more, nothing less."
Phew, looks like this is only a drill. Guess we'll have to pass the time with a good, old-fashioned game of UNO ... with real cards. It's only a couple hours.
[Update: Ugh, this was supposed to go up last night. As of right now, the outage is over and XBL is back online with -- as promised -- no new features. Consider this a response to the handful of tips we got on the outage then.]
