Mario: Goodbye cruel world

by Joystiq Staff { Jun 28th 2006 at 5:28PM }

Just before Nintendo can make the next Super Mario Paper Sunshine Basketball Strikers II, Mario has decided to take matters into his own hands. Wired blog GameLife was able to capture the lifeless plumber as he dangled from rafters then later decided to go the plastic bag route. It's been reported Luigi is close to ending things himself. And, really, let's not even get into how the Princess is feeling. On the lighter side of things, Bowser has never been happier to get that mustached annoyance out of his life.

[via 4cr]

Tags: Mario, Mario suicide, MarioSuicide

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Judd @ Jun 28th 2006 5:40PM

Suicide jokes, nice touch Joystiq. Real sensitive. /sarcasm.

TibrisXVII @ Jun 28th 2006 5:42PM

Slow news day, huh?

lunatech @ Jun 28th 2006 5:42PM

Don't do it Mario! Life's too precious!

bv @ Jun 28th 2006 5:49PM

After learning he wouldn't be paid overtime for the upcoming WiiConnect24, Mario felt it was time to hang up his hat.

Zacky V @ Jun 28th 2006 5:54PM

Wario wouldnt go to prom with him

Ken @ Jun 28th 2006 5:56PM

Do you think the suicide letter started with:

"Hello, it's me, Mario!"

Badumpching!

hehehhehe @ Jun 28th 2006 5:58PM

Ditto on that suicide comment. They need a way to let us rate stories...

William @ Jun 28th 2006 6:05PM

I'm surprised he didn't do it sooner. They've been working Mario so much lately; he's older now. He was practically in his 40's, he wasn't as fit as he used to be, all this work and he just couldn't bear it anymore.

We'll all miss you Mario. Have fun in Nimbus Land with Mallow and good luck finding that tricky end level weapon designed for you, that awesome shell!

P.S. If you come across Geno, tell him I miss him and love him. I'll never forget his Star Cannon...

CapAmerica @ Jun 28th 2006 6:08PM

Now why would Princess be feeling down? With Mario out of the way she can live happily with Bowser.

Oh come on do you really think after Super Mario Bros 2, Super Smash Bros Melee and Super Princess Peach that Peach couldn't take care of her self. It was all a diversion to keep the secret romance between Bowser and Peach a secret. Can you imagine what would happen to the Mushroom Kingdom if word got out that Peach was banging Bowser?

Etheo @ Jun 28th 2006 6:22PM

lol and here I thought Nintendo was finally ditching him. Now how about some real news Joystiq? ;)

Galls @ Jun 28th 2006 6:27PM

We have had some good times mario, but congrats on realizing that saving the princess one more time was not worth it becasue the bitch would just get kidnapped again.

I will never forget the great times of Super Mario World and Mario 64, but frankely around Mario golf it became clear that your life is no longer worth living, Im proud of you man.

Dallas @ Jun 28th 2006 6:28PM

Hey, here's a fun fact: if you don't like it, don't read it! And when you go the extra mile just to complain about it, it really doesn't make you look any better. Just sayin'.

seifer @ Jun 28th 2006 6:33PM

#9: Shouldn't that be the other way around? Or is there something about Peach we don't know about...?

/cue Crying Game joke.

Andrew @ Jun 28th 2006 6:36PM

I find this article offensive. Suicide is not funny.

shadow @ Jun 28th 2006 6:49PM

Quick! Someone get him a green mushroom!

HaloBreaker @ Jun 28th 2006 6:57PM

See what happens when you consume too many multi-colored shrooms. =(

Spoon @ Jun 28th 2006 6:59PM

"Super Mario Paper Sunshine Basketball Strikers II"

Oh God, is it wrong that I got excited when I read that? GOD DAMNIT NINTENDO LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME. I'm going to buy a PS3 just for my health.

Smylie @ Jun 28th 2006 7:06PM

What are you all talking about?

Suicide is HILARIOUS!!!

Raymond @ Jun 28th 2006 7:08PM

lolz, I made Mario off himself in the very first game, this is old news. besides, who cares, he's got like 5 more lives. thats why he had to kill himself TWICE!

Donald @ Jun 28th 2006 7:13PM

I'm torn between two pieces of music here.

1) "For suicide is painless... it brings on many changes..."

2) http://postitmario.ytmnd.com/

Avinash_Tyagi @ Jun 28th 2006 7:14PM

And the Joystiq Bias continues

Monkeydog @ Jun 28th 2006 7:18PM

"I find this article offensive. Suicide is not funny."

I know. I mean, how could it not be offensive? A NON LIVING THING JUST KILLED ITSELF!!!

DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE NO SYMPATHY!?!?

Night Elve @ Jun 28th 2006 7:25PM

@ 22. Lol yeah¡

It is a pretty funny picture, it has some dark comedy there.

Slyght @ Jun 28th 2006 7:37PM

And how is this news? Suicide jokes, tasteful.

Joystiq -1

Rhine @ Jun 28th 2006 7:41PM

Why can't we just see this as a tribute to the Pink Floyd song?

Shannon @ Jun 28th 2006 7:42PM

I don't know how some of these people can function in the real world, being so sensitive and easily offended.

Robert Summa @ Jun 28th 2006 7:44PM

Real suicide = not funny

Mario suicide = hilarious

Andrew can't take a joke. @ Jun 28th 2006 8:15PM

Remember Mario, It's "down the road" not "across the screet".

CapAmerica @ Jun 28th 2006 8:41PM

@ #13
Well there was that one time where Mario and Luigi had to save Bowser from Peach, she was getting a bit to much into D&S or Bowser forgot the safe word, We'll never know.

(If you've seen the pic on the Newsgroups then you know what I'm talking about.)

But over all you are correct it should have been the other way around.
Bowser is Banning Peach

Superdotman @ Jun 28th 2006 9:18PM

#15 shadow deserves a star.

petewismylover @ Jun 28th 2006 9:30PM

Suicide is no solution!!

BPM? @ Jun 28th 2006 10:06PM

If you click the link, you'll see that Mario has committed suicide TWICE. Once, by handing. And the second time by suicide.

But, considering how many 1-Up Mushrooms he's eaten over the years... it's probably going to be a while before he actually dies.

This is worse than when Xandir tried to kill himself.

ben @ Jun 29th 2006 1:13AM

I sense foul play!! I bet it was Peach! She really has a crush on Wario and couldn't dump mario. So she just killed him instead.

cringer8 @ Jun 29th 2006 4:59AM

There's a glitch in the new DS title that lets you hang Mario from the flagpole. Just do a triple jump toward the pole and if you hit it while you're upside down it'll happen.

He falls down the pole like normal, but, halfway down, the rope loops around his neck and then *snap*, his head goes ninety degrees to the left (and fifteen fireworks shoot off).

Unfortuneatly, you lose a life and throughout the next level Mario's head kind of wobbles around on his shoulders.