The tale of the drunken Nintendo rep
by James Ransom-Wiley 
{ Jun 28th 2006 at 12:25PM }
We've fallen on desperate times when fanboys start clinging to a tale about a drunken Nintendo rep spilling the beans on Wii's launch date. "October 30!" He shouts in his sake haze. "Ten days later in the US and Europe," he adds.Besides telling us absolutely nothing about the actual launch date -- don't worry, just a few more months until Nintendo makes the official announcement -- what more can we take away from this dubious account? Well, for one thing, it's a reflection of our nervous excitement. Nintendo is the classic champion-turned-underdog in this match, and we can't wait for it to begin -- and to be over already.
The handheld market aside, Nintendo ran out of gas years ago. But, as the new guys flash their speed and muscle, a lot of us our rooting for Nintendo to succeed in switching the game up without resorting to conventional means. There's an odd energy in the air leading up to this fight. I think we can all drink to that.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Obvious @ Jun 28th 2006 12:33PM
Mmmmm... sake...
Also, Nintendo's underdog strength certainly isn't harmed by the major foul-ups proffered by it's competition...
Pii3.14 @ Jun 28th 2006 12:34PM
There is tension in the air. It's like the pointless, media-saturated two weeks between the playoffs and the Superbowl. Of course, that was designed to sell more merchandise, and those of us rooting for the champion-turned-underdog don't have anything to throw money at! Let's get this thing started already!
Baboon @ Jun 28th 2006 12:36PM
Am I missing something, or didn't we already talk about this?
Oh well.
I for one am going to chalk this one up to speculation/hysteria. That is not to say that I don't think the Wii will come out in October, I am just pretty sure the story is false. Of course, that also might be influenced by the fact that I am hoping for a US release simultanious with the Japanese one.
32_Footsteps @ Jun 28th 2006 12:36PM
I think a company that consistently pulls in a profit on both the console and the portable markets can't really be said to have run out of gas.
Spoon @ Jun 28th 2006 12:46PM
Ran out of gas? Aww, c'mon man! The cube was definitely disappointing at times, but I'd still say it was worth every penny my parents paid for it. =)
Also, this post made me realize that picturing Miyamoto drunk is probably the most awesome thing ever.
Ethan @ Jun 28th 2006 12:51PM
I know that the wii will fail once everyone realizes that swinging a remote around in front of their TV is tiring and boring. It'll just get old WAY to fast. and once that gets old, all it will be is a crappy gamecube dressed up in a new suit. same old graphics and gameplay, and a remote that no one feels like using anymore.
tcc3 @ Jun 28th 2006 12:52PM
Im gettign tired of the "Nintendo makes a profit" argument. Thats great, Nintendo is business savvy. Still doesnt mean they didnt get slack, and are now trying to claw their way back to the top of the heap. Profits dont change the fact that my GC sat gathering dust for months in between memorable releases, while my Xbox (and now 360) gets daily use. Profits dont matter to the cusotmers - satisfaction does. The fact that Nintendo can make a profit *while* dropping the ball, well bully for them.
C. Grant @ Jun 28th 2006 12:55PM
Similarly, you can't call the Gamecube a success solely on the fact they didn't lose money on it.
Iwata: "Wii will be a failure if it cannot sell far more than GameCube did ... In fact, we shouldn't continue this business if our only target is to outsell GameCube. Naturally, we are making efforts so that Wii will show a far greater result than GameCube."
Doesn't sound like they thought it was a huge success. A lower price and (arguably) more great games than the Xbox had, and they still lost considerable market share (if not money) and mindshare. That strikes me as run(ing) out of gas. Wii is a concerted effort to reverse that trend.
John Q. @ Jun 28th 2006 12:57PM
Ethan- You know that?!
May I borrow your time machine?
Anyway, "put no trust in rumors or hobos" is my motto.
ejflex @ Jun 28th 2006 12:57PM
Ethan.. your vast intellignece.. is almost intimidating. How do you do it? You are wise, yet refined in a way I can't quite put my finger on. It's almost as if you are suckling every last drop of nourishment from the "teet" of the mother wolf. Or something... anyway.. yeah you're an idiot. Go warm your hands by your nice big hot Xbox360 power chord. Even if you are not a fan of Nintendo... it's UNDENIABLE that they are on to something, and the Wii will NOT be another Cube.
Ethan @ Jun 28th 2006 1:01PM
John Q.- sure, here it is http://www.xavix.com/
I give you the xavix, devoted solely to swinging something in front of your TV, as is the wii. It sold like crap, and I bet you that you have never even heard of it. No one is going to want to swing something in front of their television for hours at a time, it'll get old after a year. trust me.
Zacky V @ Jun 28th 2006 1:04PM
Wasabi!!!
I know that was totally off subject but it had to be said.
Ethan @ Jun 28th 2006 1:04PM
Ejflex, I wouldn't touch the 360 with a ten foot pole. I'm a fan of the console that outsold your precious "teet" suckler by 3 times last generation, and the generation before that.
MosquitoControl @ Jun 28th 2006 1:04PM
"It'll just get old WAY to[o] fast"
I'm afraid of that.
"Profits dont change the fact that my GC sat gathering dust for months in between memorable releases, while my Xbox (and now 360) gets daily use."
So personal experience is the judge, not units sold?
In that case our Xbox sat gathering dust for months between memorable (and usually sports related) releases while our GC got (and still gets) daily use.
Don't even start on the PS2, which has been in a closet for two years unable to even gather dust, taken out for Katamari and San Andreas only.
reguy @ Jun 28th 2006 1:07PM
I know its been said in earlier comments but I am also sick of that nintendo makes profit xbox loses billion argument. Hey 32 footsteps, does that profit go into your pocket? Do you pay your rent with it? I didnt think so. Why make a huge company richer? And besides, the fact that xbox lost money was good for (ME) because they really want my business and will listen to me and what games i want to play. Not like nintendo which always does whatever it wants. Example, You mean to tell me the ds lite couldnt launch in other colors?? But that doesnt mean I want the wii to fail, I think its got a steep hill but heres to the underdog.
And oh yeah, I agree with joystiq, nintendo ran out of gas years ago. Ex: mario soccer, mario golf, mario ddr, dr mario, mario dating simulator(japan only) mario teaches typing mario mario mario
MosquitoControl @ Jun 28th 2006 1:09PM
"Ejflex, I wouldn't touch the 360 with a ten foot pole. I'm a fan of the console that outsold your precious "teet" suckler by 3 times last generation, and the generation before that. "
Did you just announce yourself as a fanboy?
Why is it so hard to be impartial to a company and just go for system to system?
This isn't sports. You're not a traitor if you support more than one.
This isn't dating. You're not hurting Sony's feelings by enjoying games on other systems.
ejflex @ Jun 28th 2006 1:11PM
Ethan.. either or my friend. In that case your wisdom is less refined than I had previously thought. You are actually talking trash when you are a PS fanboy? haha you must be joking. The PS3 is the biggest joke since the 1st "Yo Mamma" joke was told. You know.. 600 bucks... constant delays... a controller which mimicks the real "tiresome" Wii controller... without rumble... hard to program for.. the list goes on and on. Even if Nintendo vanished tomorrow(dare I say it) You'd still have much fun losing to Micro$ this gen. I hope you enjoyed your reign at the top. It's over now.
Jeff @ Jun 28th 2006 1:13PM
"Profits dont change the fact that my GC sat gathering dust for months in between memorable releases, while my Xbox (and now 360) gets daily use."
Yeah, because this industry is all about you. Hey, Nintendo! tcc3 wasn't satisfied with his GameCube! You're such a failure!
Whatever Nintendo's position in the "rankings", the fact of the matter is any business is ONLY about profit. The only reason MS can even afford to continue making game consoles is that their OS and Office units are profitable. If not for profits, no Xbox 360. Same goes for anything else. No profit means no point in putting a product out.
What Nintendo has done is balanced the investments they've made in technology and marketing with a realistic assessment of what it's going to take to be profitable. The fact that they've maintained profitability even being 3rd in the marketplace means that they've planned to be a successful company even in a worst-case scenario. MS and Sony have not been able to do that; they can't even maintain profitability at #1 and #2.
Why does it matter? Because history is littered with companies that ditched the console business after figuring out they just didn't know how to make money doing it anymore. From Mattel to Atari to Sega to GCE to Coleco and on and on and on. Nintendo learned this lesson long ago. MS and Sony have managed to stay in it because, unlike those other companies, they have businesses besides video games that they can rely on. But that can only last so long - this isn't some sort of charity. They're not making games for their health. The end goal always has to be to make money.
What it all means in the end is that even given the current situation, there's a better chance of Nintendo surviving the current war than either of its competitors. Nintendo makes money even in the worst-case scenario - Sony and MS lose money even in their best-case scenarios.
And to think that neither Sony nor MS could ever ditch the industry is to either forget history or to not have lived through it. Do you think anybody in 1980 could have ever imagined a world in which Atari did not make game consoles? When you bought a Dreamcast in 1999, did you have any inkling that Sega would be out of the business completely just 2 year later? It rarely happens with much warning; companies don't telegraph their contingency plans for fear of spooking the market. The one constant you can look to for clues about the future is the balance sheet.
Pii3.14 @ Jun 28th 2006 1:16PM
tcc3 - your beloved XBox only sold a handful more units that the Cube, and did so with a fraction of the third party support and advertising. ON TOP OF THAT, the console made a profit.
C. Grant - I wouldn't call the Cube a success based solely on the fact that it was profitable. But as a transition console--a sort of placeholder for the Wii--I think it was. After the N64 debacle, Nintendo needed to reorganize, reprioritize, get back to basics. It had ALREADY lost mindshare and marketshare to Sony. They needed to keep a foothold in the console market, but also look toward the future. I think the Cube, with low R&D costs, allowed Nintendo to refocus.
saboola @ Jun 28th 2006 1:18PM
My Genesis is better than your Super Nintendo.
Ethan @ Jun 28th 2006 1:21PM
Mosquito control, please don't try to correct my english, TOO means also TO is right, I dont think I was trying to say the wii will get old way ALSO fast. and no, I didn't announce myself a fanboy, I said fan of the best selling system, not fanboy of sony, there is a difference. and, the playstation 3 will not fail ejflex, it has a huge list of back compatability and support, unless 70,000 current owners of the PS drop it, it will never fail.
Shagi @ Jun 28th 2006 1:24PM
I'm embarassed by all the people that actually have stars in this post.
Ethan @ Jun 28th 2006 1:28PM
"I'm embarassed by all the people that actually have stars in this post." I know, right.
John Q. @ Jun 28th 2006 1:31PM
Ethan- you know that comparison (Xavix and Wii) is about as useful as comparing the hand-powered Civil War submarine and the U-boat, right?
Ethan @ Jun 28th 2006 1:34PM
No, I think, it is pretty fair, they look to have the same graphics and technology. And you might want to check up on your history, because as far as I remember the civil war wasn't fought over seas, and there weren't even submarines back then.
Thaddeus McMonster @ Jun 28th 2006 1:36PM
Main Entry: too
Pronunciation: 'tü
Function: adverb
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English tO to, too -- more at TO
1 : BESIDES, ALSO
2 a : to an excessive degree : EXCESSIVELY b : to such a degree as to be regrettable c : VERY
3 : SO 2d
Shagi @ Jun 28th 2006 1:38PM
1 more thing:
Profit is no way to measure weather or not a product is good. If we use money as a guage to mesaure whats good then we end up with stuff like:
The Back Street Boys are one of the greatest bands of all time.
The Ford escort is a better car than any Ferrari.
Parking spots with meters are better places to park than unmeterd spots.
Retro games are better games when you buy them instead of downloading them.
VHS is superior to DVD.
I think what joystiq was saying and I totally agree with is not that Nintendo didnt turn a profit and thats why they are outta gas..but what they mean is Nintendo has been creatively bankrupt since the introduction of the Gamecube.
Unlike joystiq however I dont have a positive outlook for creativity to make a comeback on the wii. I think they are going to make the exact same boring creativly bankrupt games that they have been shilling out since the N64 days, only you can control them differently.
I think there is a market for the wii...its called non-gamers. It seems to be a diminishing market however...since old people die eventually everyone will be farmiliar with modern controllers and you wont need something simple to try and increase your market share.
Ok...nuff said
Ethan @ Jun 28th 2006 1:42PM
Thanks for the def. Thaddeus McMonster, But I already cleared that up with a post, it didn't really require a def. for such an easy word, I guess Mosquito control skipped first grade or something though.
daniel @ Jun 28th 2006 1:42PM
ethan youre just wrong there where some naval battles in the us civil war and in fact the first submarine was built by the conferederates it was rubbish but the point is it existed
Newmiracle @ Jun 28th 2006 1:43PM
Civil War Sub:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/CSS_Hunley
But I think we all got the metaphor anyways. This "xavix" has proprietary controllers for different sports games, and no- the graphics DO NOT look up to bar as a GameCube's.
I think having Nintendo being a big player in the console game may give it a little more credit than some no-name company. I don't think Nintendo will be making a console based on completely rediculous technology that gets tiring. Sans Virtuaboy. Burn!
But really, think about the power mat. Who didn't love track and field when they were little? Sure, the mat didn't get a ton of play- but flash forward a decade and people are dancing on it. The Wiimote has to have alot of potential.
MosquitoControl @ Jun 28th 2006 1:45PM
"Mosquito control, please don't try to correct my english, TOO means also TO is right, I dont think I was trying to say the wii will get old way ALSO fast. and no, I didn't announce myself a fanboy, I said fan of the best selling system, not fanboy of sony, there is a difference."
No, your English is very wrong.
Too wrong, if you will.
And you didn't say you were a PS2 fan, you said you were a PS2 fan that hated the GC, hates the Wii, hates the Xbox and hates the 360.
That, by definition, would make you a fanboy.
You're to[o] into one system without being able to admit they all have their merits.
Louis S. @ Jun 28th 2006 1:46PM
22. Ethan "Mosquito control, please don't try to correct my english, TOO means also TO is right"
... no. No, it actually doesn't.
To
(prep.)
a.
1. In a direction toward so as to reach: went to the city.
2. Towards: turned to me.
b.
1. Reaching as far as: The ocean water was clear all the way to the bottom.
2. To the extent or degree of: loved him to distraction.
3. With the resultant condition of: nursed her back to health.
Too
(adv.)
a. In addition; also: He's coming along too.
b. More than enough; excessively: She worries too much.
c. To a regrettable degree: My error was all too apparent.
d. Very; extremely; immensely: He's only too willing to be of service.
e. Informal. Indeed; so: You will too do it!
---
Anyway, onto the actual point of topic. Sure the Wii remote will tire your arm if you wail it around like a malicious moron. But like any other controller, you can rest your arm on your lap and sit down, making only slight movements with your wrist. And if that's still too much for you, well then you should put the controller down and go outside from time to time.
Look, I'll be honest, I am a Nintendo fan, but I'm not an arrogent idiot. I would consider GameCube a success in business terms, but a failure in, not only marketshare, but also in demand. Compaired to the line-up of the NES, SNES and N64 before it, GameCube failed to live up to expectation, even with some heavy hitters such as Zelda, Metroid.
Well, yeah. That's all I have to say.
reguy @ Jun 28th 2006 1:47PM
I have a question for the ninty fanboys?
As it regards to the VC, why would I want to pay for a game I most likely already own? and I liked the idea of dl games alot more the first time i heard it. back when it was called roms.
for legal purposes I have only downloaded games i already owned and games i didnt own were deleted after 24 hours.
Thank you
saboola @ Jun 28th 2006 1:50PM
No, I think, it is pretty fair, they look to have the same graphics and technology. LOL @ Ethan. Are you seriously comparing the graphics of the Xavix with a Wii? Any argument you make further with anyone here from this point on is null since you clearly have no clue what you are talking about.
MosquitoControl @ Jun 28th 2006 1:50PM
He got a star for that... haha.
I'm definitely concerned the Wiimote will be aggravating over long periods of play.
I'm also concerned it will be a gimmick without as much depth as Nintendo hopes. But I'm not willing to commit to either of those as definite. I trust Nintendo, as they're banking the future of the company on this.
Ethan @ Jun 28th 2006 1:51PM
It clearly says that it wasn't used in the Civil war, and the one time it was it blew itself up. Now I don't know about you, but I don't see any Xavix's blowing up. And since when do video games have any relevance to submarines anyway, next time you try to make a COMPARISON, make sure it at least COMPARES to the subject at hand. BURN!!
Eric @ Jun 28th 2006 1:53PM
Ok Ethan,Dont try to tell people to "check up on their history" if you are the idiot. Blockades were run to stop allied supplies. So their WERE subs in the civil war, thats when subs were invented. Also, its not TO many it is, in fact TOO many. Too is also used for thta purpose. To serves only that "they walked to the beach" or something, the point is that you are vastly unintelligent.Finally, when someone comes up, (Shagi)who just so happens to agree with you, you jumped on their bandwagon to avoid staring at the truth, that you are WRONG. The stars are focused towards more intelligent posts, as far as I saw.
MosquitoControl @ Jun 28th 2006 1:53PM
"As it regards to the VC, why would I want to pay for a game I most likely already own? "
1) For some of the better games, like Contra or Tecmo Bowl, I'll willing pay small amounts (
MosquitoControl @ Jun 28th 2006 1:58PM
"And since when do video games have any relevance to submarines anyway, next time you try to make a COMPARISON, make sure it at least COMPARES to the subject at hand. BURN!!"
Wow.
You've never heard the term "apples to oranges," have you? Because it's used quite often, usually in references to subjects that don't involve fruit.
So... you're wrong.
And... "BURN!!"
You're what, still in HS, right?
You have to be.
No knowledge of grammar. No knowledge of history. No knowledge of how to partake in a discussion. Blind worship of massive corporations...
Pii3.14 @ Jun 28th 2006 2:00PM
Wow.
By my count, Ethan has flunked grammar, history, and, not surprisingly, metaphors.
Probably it's time to put down the video games and hit the books.
John Q. @ Jun 28th 2006 2:02PM
The point is, a slapped-together, poorly thought through product (like the Xavix and the Civil War sub) could never work as well as one made through extensive time, effort and development (U-boat and Wii). A person should not be prejudiced against the latter simply due to the failure of the former.
Eric @ Jun 28th 2006 2:04PM
Honestly, this is oring me, not because of the posts I agree or disagree with, but because some people are so amazingly stupid that it hurts my brain to be near them. (And so Ethan gets it) Im not talking about ACTUALLY being near them, Im talking about talking to them etc.
saboola @ Jun 28th 2006 2:04PM
I see mention that he got a star for his argument (Ethan). That's funny. Sort of like giving a star to a mentally handicap child for not peeing on his shoes.
Eric @ Jun 28th 2006 2:11PM
I believe that ethan only got a star because he spends so much time rattling off stupidity that he cant actually DO anything progressive... By the way, can we get on topic somehow?
PS: "Honestly, this is oring me, not..." Oops, typo. oring = boring
baberg @ Jun 28th 2006 2:14PM
Anybody notice how, once Ethan got totally burned by his own ignorance of the English language, he mysteriously disappeared?
On topic, I don't care what other people think about the Wii. I'm buying one, and from the initial partial launch title list that was posted a few days ago, I'm also going to be going broke buying 5+ titles for it at launch. I can't think of 5 titles TOTAL for the 360 or PS3 which I would want.
That's all the motivation I need to get out my checkbook.
Shagi @ Jun 28th 2006 2:18PM
baberg, this is not a flame...I'm curious to know what 5+ titles you are interested in for the Wii.
josh @ Jun 28th 2006 2:21PM
List of million+ selling games for GameCube:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_best_selling_video_games#Nintendo_GameCube
List of million+ selling games for Xbox:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_best_selling_video_games#Microsoft_Xbox
Those lists aren't that different, and the Nintendo one has more exclusives. The Gamecube has many memorable games. And ultimately is pretty much tied for worldwide sales with the Xbox (though Xbox is far stronger in the USA).
Again, whether or not the Wii is a success depends primarily on 1 thing - if the games are fun. No one who didn't play one at E3 really knows that yet. Only time will tell, so why bother making predictions now? Personally, I am hoping the games are fun and the control scheme is entertaining. If it is, I'll get one. If it sucks, I won't. Simple as that.
baberg @ Jun 28th 2006 2:28PM
Shagi:
Must-haves:
------------
Wii Sports (hoping it will be bundled)
Zelda: Twilight Princess (would buy for GC if it wasn't coming for Wii)
Red Steel
Metroid Prime 3
Trauma Center: Second Opinion (I loved the first game on the DS, and unique quirky Japanese games really get me excited)
Possibly must-haves:
-------------------
Super Monkey Ball (depends on how the controller fits in)
Metal Slug Anthology (waiting for more details on it)
Dragon Quest: Swords (only if it's a decent action RPG, too few details right now to say)
Party Time @ Jun 28th 2006 2:39PM
Does anyone have any idea how popular the Wii will be for parties? Especially drunken parties??? Can you imagine laughing your ass off watching 4 drunks trying to play Wii Tennis, running into each other, slapping each other with the wiimotes, and tripping over furniture? Or watching someone play a horror game (resident evil) and have a monster jump out at them and see them dive behind a couch or something?
The only thing that'll get old about the Wii will be the virtual console after you've bought all the retro games your nostalgic heart can muster. DSWii60 anyone?
Jim @ Jun 28th 2006 5:00PM
IIRC.. the Big N said they decided not to use Link's sword with a swinging motion, but instead a button because people would get tired easy. Let's hope everybody thinks thier games through so well.