Cheesesteaks vs Vlad: Cheesesteaks FTW
by Christopher Grant 
{ Jun 29th 2006 at 1:00AM }
In March, Joystiq's own Vlad Cole made the following deal: "If I fail to drop 25 pounds, then I'll give $500 of my own money to one of the Joystiq readers ranked in the top 20 list at right as of June 15, 2006 (selected via a roll of the d20). In other words, I've set a goal to lose 25 lbs. If I fail to achieve that goal, then I lose $500 to one of Joystiq's most active (and valuable) contributors."
Well, June 15 has come and gone and, though Vlad is away on summer hiatus, he's asked us to keep him to his word. The results: he didn't make it. Blame Philly's unavoidable cheesesteaks, the plethora of bars, or the general lack of interest in Sony's EyeToy: Kinetic program, the results are the same. Vlad didn't drop the el-bees, so now he's going to drop a cool $500 on one lucky reader. Who's the lucky winner? Using the mathematical magic contained at Random.org, we rolled our virtual die and arrived with the number ...
... 5!
So the loot goes to Netjak's Clayton "Alkaiser" Chan, Joystiq's fifth-highest ranked commenter. With three out of twenty slots, the Netjak crew had a serious statistical advantage undoubtedly coordinated to game just such a contest. All right guys, beers are on Alkaiser for the foreseeable future. We're sure as soon as Vlad returns from his self-imposed, shame-induced exile, he'll join you for a round.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
epobirs @ Jun 29th 2006 1:06AM
Damn my armor bonuses!
Einhanderkiller @ Jun 29th 2006 1:09AM
The money should go to me. :D
Grindstone @ Jun 29th 2006 1:12AM
Damn my incompetence!
...
So Alkaiser gets it?
...
Damn Alkaiser!
Paul Gale @ Jun 29th 2006 1:13AM
I think that it's pretty noble of Joystiq's Vlad Cole to own up and dish out $500 of his own money after not losing his desired 25 pounds. However, if only he knew that one of this site's readers (me) is a Kinesiologist that got a Bachelor's of Science from California State University of Northridge a month ago, then he surely would have lost the weight. I have a background in health and nutrition, the human anatomy, weight training, personal training, physical therapy, sports science, and martial arts (all linked to Kinesiology). Of course my passion is videogames first and foremeost, but the human body is a field that I know well enough about that I would have gladly set him up with an eating/exercising program. In the future, if any of you need some health assistance, just hit me up.
Paul Gale
1up.com
Bloo @ Jun 29th 2006 1:15AM
That's especially funny considering all the crap comments he's made lately.
Paul Gale @ Jun 29th 2006 1:15AM
Oh, and to the winner of the $500; what are you going to do with the money? I'm always curious to know. :)
Paul Gale
bv @ Jun 29th 2006 1:19AM
Damn, thats a fat loss from Vladimir's wallet, and a fat gain for his gut. I actually kinda feel bad for the guy :-/, but he seems ok with it so congrats Alkaiser!
Elpea @ Jun 29th 2006 1:22AM
Now you can buy the PS3's power plug!
epobirs @ Jun 29th 2006 1:25AM
Get a treadmill and only play your consoles while walking away the calories. It worked well for me when I had enough space for that arrangement.
Also, unless you're seriously flabby, don't be shocked if you buff up and gain weight instead of lose it. Muscle mass is heavier but it can make you feel like you're getting negative results because your appearance doesn't change that noticeably for a good while.
Zoë Kunami @ Jun 29th 2006 1:30AM
Thank Jebus I've only got one star, or else I might have been motivated enough to come up to Philly just to pump Vlad full of aerosol cheese and genuine draft daily for the prize...
...only to turn right back around and unwittingly use it to get back home.
Wickedneoq @ Jun 29th 2006 1:37AM
Random.org uses weighted d20s... I go there for my saving throws, and I always fail! >.<
I'd never fulfill that challenge, since I'm 6' and 140 lbs. Also, I don't have 500 bucks to throw at somebody... I did until I bought an Xbox 360.
Keith L. Dick @ Jun 29th 2006 1:48AM
Looks to me like a Chest & Stomach only a Mother could love...
Tho I guess Mom did love me alot way back when...
Rare Hare @ Jun 29th 2006 1:58AM
I was on that list back when the expectations were lower and I had 2 stars. I miss my other star.
Damn you, Jennie Lees.
Zoë Kunami @ Jun 29th 2006 2:06AM
What'd you lose a star for, Rare?
BPM? @ Jun 29th 2006 2:20AM
I applaud Vlad for being a man of his word.
And I congrat Alkaiser for winning a nice sum of cash.
But, in Vlad's defense... Cheesesteaks are REALLY hard to resist... [drool]
Zero_ @ Jun 29th 2006 2:23AM
I'm with you there Rare, I also lost one and it's somehwat frustrating that we cannot identify which post/s caused it. Oh well, Joystiq needs to implement some sort of function that will inform us about it, or how else do we know what to or not to post?
Alkaiser @ Jun 29th 2006 2:37AM
I was reading the article, and I hadn't gotten to the point where they announced who won, and I was all, "Haha...I bet I won."
And then I won! I'm so glad that the photos of Vlad didn't stop me from reading the blurb.
Thanks Joystiq! And thank you cheesesteaks! I couldn't have done it without you, apparently. Hooray for randomizers!
Out of curiosity, exactly how much weight did Vlad lose?
For those of you wondering what I'm going to do with the money, part of it is probably going to go towards this here digital camera:
http://www.beachcamera.com/shop/product.aspx?sku=CNDRXT1855B
And part of it will go to charity, probably buying some goats for Rwandan families via TheHungerSite.com, in Vlad's name. (I'd feel like an utter tool if I didn't donate some of my free cash.)
David Reinecke @ Jun 29th 2006 3:03AM
The best question is to ask is...
"Pat's or Geno's?"
Rare Hare @ Jun 29th 2006 4:10AM
Ha. Well, unfortunately I do know why I lost my other star. I actually hunted this post down for you guys, so here (I'm comments #25 and #26):
http://www.joystiq.com/2006/04/23/girl-gaming-clans-as-next-gen-booth-babes/#comments
Yeah, so I tried to save my ass after the fact, but still.. it doesn't change my opinion on the matter, and it also doesn't make me sexist.
My ex-girlfriend was a gamer, and it was very cool being able to actually talk to her about games, or know that while I was on the phone with her she was most likely playing Ocarina of Time.
I guess I just don't understand why it has to be a gender issue, and apperently Ms. Lees disagrees with me :).
Zoë Kunami @ Jun 29th 2006 4:33AM
Rare Hare,
Hehe. Something told me when you mentioned that you had lost a star, then said who took it, that it had something to do with a (possibly perceived) sexist statement. Yeah, I could see why she took the star. Too bad she was either late to read your clarification or you were late in posting it. That sucks, man.
No, but I understand and totally agree with you. On that topic, that's not equality. Then again, you have to think... girl gamers are still quite outnumbered. So while I agree with you, there have to be things done to achieve notoriety in the community, and girl clans are one of those things. Sad, but true.
heh @ Jun 29th 2006 7:02AM
25 pounds? Not too hard, been dropping 5 pounds a week for the last month. I think Ive actually eaten more. Gee...
Those damn hormones are out of whack.
jc @ Jun 29th 2006 8:28AM
Alkaiser, congrats dude... and I couldn't think of a better investment for your new found $500. Nice camera!
Tucker @ Jun 29th 2006 9:29AM
Naturally the guy RIGHT BELOW ME on the charts scores the loot... I could have totally paid my rent for a change. Oh well, congrats man, I really don't mind losing a contest I didn't know I was in to someone who's just as worthy.
Indepth @ Jun 29th 2006 10:04AM
I agree, it would be great to know what contributions lead to the addition or removal of stars. Although personnally, I'm not crazy about the idea of removing anyones stars, even if I don't necessarily agree with their views. It's a comment system afterall.
It's too bad it's not setup as a peer recommendation system, where anyone can give you a thumbs up if they liked your contribution.
But anyway, I digress...
Alkaiser congrats on winning!
Buck Q. Fitch @ Jun 29th 2006 10:42AM
I actually thought VC was fired for that pretentious polite clapping post for E3.
32_Footsteps @ Jun 29th 2006 11:21AM
Actually, note that WhiteRoseDuelist is tied with 4 stars on the list, and he occasionally pops up on the Top 20 as well (depending on which 4 star commenters the list feels like showing at the moment). Factor him in, and Netjak was clearly ready for the prize.
Still, this means Alk's responsible for buying the bacon sandwiches next year.
Pixelantes Anonymous @ Jun 29th 2006 11:25AM
My eyes!
Alkaiser, may I suggest you invest a part of your winnings to purchase whatever it is that's advertised at
http://www.shaveeverywhere.com/
and then send it to Vlad.
Spoon @ Jun 29th 2006 11:41AM
Looks like about thirty people beat me to a chest hair joke.
Poor Vlad. =p
WamBam @ Jun 29th 2006 12:36PM
Vlad sounds suspiciously foreign. Perhaps if he tried to order from Geno's, he would have been refused service and lost the weight!
Anyway, I suffer from the same problem. Cheesesteaks and cheap Philly watering holes. Dang McGlinchey's!
jc @ Jun 29th 2006 2:34PM
Who was number 5 on June 15th? :(
mandarin @ Jun 29th 2006 5:17PM
Pay me 500$ and I can make Vlad lose 10 pounds a month easily by making him shave his body hair.
jadenguy @ Jun 30th 2006 1:00AM
CURSES! i had a chance until i argued that there really IS no such thing as bad publicity. i would have lost, but oh the chance alone was worth the price of admission. i guess since it was VC's doing; he chose not to let me have those $500 personally. he totally killed two birds with one stone on that point. i get it, I GET IT, there IS such a thing as bad publicity. -_-