Wired News' Lore Sjöberg considers the popularity of novelty controllers like the Guitar Hero axe and Nintendo's revolutionary console controller ("and its myriad attachments") and follows it to its logical conclusion: we need a beer controller!

Well, he doesn't arrive right at beer controller. His argument evolves from action-figure controller ("Remember when you'd take two action figures and 'make them fight'"?) to brick controller ("It would be great to have a game where you take down enemies by heaving an actual brick at them. I guess it would have to be a foam brick ...") to a roadie controller ("And the controller for all this exciting work in the world of sweaty entertainment? Your trusty Leatherman, of course.") ultimately arriving at the delicious, refreshing beer controller, of which Sjöberg pines, "The controller could have a light that goes off when you're supposed to drink, a tilt sensor to make sure you're drinking, and a motion sensor to call 911 when you drop it due to the onset of alcohol poisoning."

Then, and only then, would we buy the whole gaming addiction thing. Make it happen, Nintendo.

[Via Boing Boing]