Suck at gaming? Get a tutor (seriously) [update 2]
by Christopher Grant 
{ Jul 26th 2006 at 9:55PM }
The Wall Street Journal reports on some gamers who're using their 1337 skillz to actually pay the billz. And they're not trotting out the same old story about professional gamers (we get it, they play games!), they're talking about gaming tutors. The logic behind these enterprises is brilliant though. Aging gamers have no time to hone their skills through trial and error while high school dropouts, like Gaming-lessons.com's Tom Taylor, have nothing but time, so the arrangement works like this: you pay Taylor $45 clams an hour, he turns your pasty, corpulent game playing attempts into 100% chiseled, Master Chief-approved fragging skillz.
We know what you're thinking. If 8 year old Lil Poison is scraping in $25 an hour teaching grown men to play Halo 2, then you've made some serious miscalculations in your life plan.
[Thanks, Leshrac]
[Update: corrected professional gaming errors and decidedly un-1337 spelling of 1337.]
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Arachneya @ Jul 26th 2006 10:08PM
Umm Christopher, a little research before another educated rant, perhaps?
Tom Taylor is the captain of Str8 Rippin, MLG's 2nd/3rd (may have dropped in place after last weekend's Chicago event) highest ranked team. He plays professionally - and as done so everyday for the last 2 years+
Lil Poison is a signed MLG player. The kid endorses MLG and has played in a lot of tournaments under the team neam Versus, or VS. I'm assuming b/c of the stress of tournament attendance and the summer months, his father (Sic Vic) didn't bring him to said Chicago event.
Arachneya @ Jul 26th 2006 10:12PM
And about the high school dropout line? *sigh* I'm not even gonna touch that one.
Agrajag @ Jul 26th 2006 10:16PM
You spelled "1337" wrong...
Daran @ Jul 26th 2006 10:24PM
And does "733t" skills mean "teet" skills? Wtf?
Raikage @ Jul 26th 2006 10:31PM
LOL 733t
P.S. Keep up the great work Joystik...
P.P.S. LOL I mean Joystiq...
The Raikage
retro @ Jul 26th 2006 10:36PM
It's hilarious that two other people have also noticed the teet thing. XD
TK00 @ Jul 26th 2006 10:53PM
"And about the high school dropout line? *sigh* I'm not even gonna touch that one."
Did he finish High School? If not then he's a high school dropout. (BTW, I have no idea if he did or not)
It's not big deal either way I suppose, Bill Gates is a college dropout.
Hiro Protagonist @ Jul 26th 2006 11:08PM
Frag that dude for a gold star?
More like 'Attack his weakpoint for MASSIVE damage!'
definitioN. @ Jul 26th 2006 11:50PM
Anyone that actually buys a tutor to play a game needs to reconsider life, or just quit the internet.
Also, what's up with the "733t" spelling? I busted out the internet dictionary, and it spells "teet"..
Great work Joystiq!
elle @ Jul 26th 2006 11:51PM
Joystiq:
"We're wondering why, if these guys are so good, they aren't playing professionally"
From the article:
"Players like Mr. Taylor, a competitor at game tournaments produced by a league called Major League Gaming, are attempting to forge professional careers and to make money from coaching when they're not training for competitions. The elite players who participate in MLG events and those of rival leagues compete for prize money."
MLG (http://www.mlgpro.com/article.php?potw=6):
"Tsquared is one of the biggest names in pro gaming, and he backs it up with the fact that he has placed in the Top 3 at nearly every event he's ever attended, despite the extremely varying lineups he has appeared with. After nailing down a consistent sponsor, T2 has been a staple of the very successful Trademark Gamers lineup, garnering a flood of media coverage including a breakthrough appearance on the one-hour MTV True Life: I'm a Pro Gamer special."
Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MLG):
"As of June 21st, MLG has signed ... pro Tom Taylor ("T2") to (a) three year, $83,300 per year contract."
elle @ Jul 26th 2006 11:54PM
Also, all of T2's trainers for Halo 2 and SSBM are MLG vets.
jc @ Jul 26th 2006 11:56PM
seven three three tee... you guys are really arguing that it can't mean elite?? So a backwards 'E' is fine but an 'L' turned 180degrees is unfathomable? w.teh.f.
Personally, I am more upset that the guy is touching the screen with his fingers. Do you know how hard geek sweat is to get off your lcd? ;)
On topic, congrats to those kids making some coin in the gaming business. It could be a good idea for a curriculum down the road... more relevant than, say, underwater basket weaving.
elle @ Jul 26th 2006 11:57PM
Oh, and lest we forget:
http://www.joystiq.com/2006/06/21/halo-2-team-signs-million-dollar-deal/
"The cash happy organization also signed MTV True Life stud Tsquared to an exclusive contract worth $250,000."
JPRacer @ Jul 27th 2006 12:48AM
Each time I see the words "professional gaming" this always make me laugh. And now professional gaming tutor! Oh my...
Leshrac @ Jul 27th 2006 4:55AM
Yes, he actually is a high school dropout. He says he wants to get his GED, but has not yet.
-Leshrac
Ive Been Jipped @ Jul 27th 2006 5:04AM
"Does the old adage, "Those who can't do, teach," apply to the curriculum of video games as well?"
Everyone has already pointed out the Tom Taylor thing but also Justin Wong teaches fighting games around the NYC area - Justin Wong won four consecutive EVO championships for Marvel vs Capcom 2 and finished runner-up last year at 3rd Strike (not to mention countless national tournaments he's won in the US).
But anyway, I digress - you spelt l337 wrong.
Brett @ Jul 27th 2006 5:46AM
You mean there's a right way to spell elite wrong and a wrong way to spell elite wrong?
rhork. @ Jul 27th 2006 7:06AM
Am i the only one that quivers at the thought of 'professional gaming' ... let alone a 'gaming tutor'?
I take video games as seriously as any video game enthusiast can, but the fact that a profession such as the one tom taylor is leading exists is clearly crossing some sort of line.
This is ridiculous.
DG @ Jul 27th 2006 7:39AM
Where are all of the capitalism lovers out there? This is what happens in an open market. It's no different than stupid life coaches, medical "intuitives," scientology, or singing lessons for people without talent.
If you want to pay for instruction to make you marginally better at something, go for it. I'd love to be paid $45 an hour, but I'm only an expert at one thing -- and I don't think it's worth $45/hour to watch me do it.
Kevin @ Jul 27th 2006 7:44AM
"Does the old adage, "Those who can't do, teach," apply to the curriculum of video games as well?"
That old adage doesn't apply anywhere. If you can't do something, then you can't teach someone else how to do it.
WizarDru @ Jul 27th 2006 7:48AM
The problem with the idea of 'those who can't, teach' is that it implies that teaching requires no skill. Having been taught by quite a few people who worked in the industries they taught for, I can assure that this isn't the case. Teaching is a separate skillset, and the implication that being a great gamer means that you naturally can teach others to be one is a false premise.
As for paying a tutor to get better at a game...so what? When you get older, you have more money and less free time. What's the big deal? We're not talking goldfarming, here.
PodMonkeys @ Jul 27th 2006 7:53AM
So by "$45 clams" means theiy're paying the tutor clams that cost $45 each? Shouldn't that be "45 clams" or just "$45"?
It seems kind of sorry to have to be buying lessons in honing your skills in gaming. I can see tutors to teach someone how to start off playing games. Theres some games with some steep learning curves, where a tutor to get you started makes sense, but this seems a bit weird for me. BUt I guess as they say, "Its not my money."
MGill @ Jul 27th 2006 8:13AM
How do I get in touch with Christopher Grant?
bailama @ Jul 27th 2006 9:01AM
Paying $45 an hour for instruction I won't. I fyou are getting payed $45 an hour to teach games I would love to be that guy. Does getting a game tutor really boost your gameplay.
32_Footsteps @ Jul 27th 2006 9:19AM
Maybe it's just me, but I've never used my teats for anything game-related. Given that I'm male, I can even honestly say that I've never used them for anything. They're just vestigal, really.
And to think, my mom yelled at me 15 years ago when I tried to charge my sister for teaching her how to play. It seems I wasn't being exploitive - I was merely visionary.
dvddesign @ Jul 27th 2006 9:38AM
I am a former Nintendo World Champion Qualifier...
My services are available to you on the following games... Super Mario Brothers, Rad Racer, and Tetris.
In an effort to maintain my level of experience, I occasionally partake in continuing educational materials.
If you're finding yourself hard up and unable to beat that one level, give me a call. I can help.
I offer training and degree programs in the following:
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Duck Hunt (Clay Pidgeons only)
Bionic Commando
Super Metroid
Gyromite
BurgerTime
Final Fantasy VI
Chrono Trigger
HVAC
Lawn Maintenance
Harvest Moon
Paralegal
Xbox Live Ethics and Moral Code
G.E.D.
UT2004
Katamari Damacy
Burnout Revenge
Dental Assistant
- or -
Create your own degree!
Admission is easy. Just take our simple art test.
http://www.artists-ais.com/free/index.php
Submit it, and you too can become a better gamer.
So, please consider our services now.
We offer classes and schedules built to suit your needs. Nighttime and weekend classes available.
Yoshi Likes Boys @ Jul 27th 2006 11:33AM
You guys got the adage wrong. It's "those who can't do, blog."
While I'd quickly denounce it as stupid, if there's money out there to be made, then there's a skill with value, which those who possess can teach. To me, the whole thing breaks down because it depends on people actually paying money (or watching on an ad-supported medium) to watch people play video games. But hey, if they can make watching a bunch of dudes playing poker an entertaining program, then GAME ON, I suppose.
C. Grant @ Jul 27th 2006 11:41AM
Yoshi Likes Boys: If you mean those you can't make a shitload of money playing Halo, blog then amen! You're right. I don't begrudge anyone the ability to make money playing games, more power to em. It makes *much* more sense when you guys clued me into my error that he is a pro gamer. I was thinking it was more like writing tutors who teach you to double check information but aren't professional writers themselves ... or something like that. That analogy sucked 733t. :)
Because_I_Said_So @ Jul 27th 2006 12:04PM
"Those who can't do, teach" is a valid statement, despite claims otherwise. Examples of this are the teachers and professors who spout political and social propaganda and spread their nutty philosophies to a captive audience of students. These ideas would never fly in the real world but they keep their jobs because of things like teacher's unions and tenure. In the real world they'd have gone out of business or been fired long ago.
obo @ Jul 27th 2006 12:24PM
Damn, Christopher, your correction is wrong and it the right information is in the Joystiq article you link to.
Tsquared was signed to his own $250,000 contract. Not his team. Final Boss, which has nothing to do with Tom Taylor, also was signed to a deal that was worth a total of $1 million ($250,000 x 4 over 3 years). In the end, it's all worth $83,333/year.
You sure you didn't mean, "Those who can't read, blog"?
foxhaze @ Jul 27th 2006 12:46PM
Yeah, I could probably mess those guys up in Tetris.
C. Grant @ Jul 27th 2006 1:00PM
obo: Thanks obo. I just can't win on this one!
Kev_Boy @ Jul 27th 2006 1:17PM
Pro-Gaming is called a sport.
So like any other sport, it's all about egoism.
"I'm winner!" or "We're winner!" if it's a team.
I can honestly say I hate them.
WizarDru @ Jul 27th 2006 3:16PM
"Examples of this are the teachers and professors who spout political and social propaganda and spread their nutty philosophies to a captive audience of students. These ideas would never fly in the real world but they keep their jobs because of things like teacher's unions and tenure. In the real world they'd have gone out of business or been fired long ago."
I suppose that all depends on where you go to school, then. Most universities I know of expect their professors to actually work in industry for a set number of hours per week during parts of the year, to keep their skill set up and running. In fact, we hired one such professor from U. of PA a few months ago. And my statement above was pulled directly from my experiences at my university, where all of the instructors did consulting work outside the university...and many clearly lacked the essential skills of teaching.
As for "nutty philosophies to a captive audience", I'm sure there are plenty of professors like that...just like I'm sure there are plenty of crazy revolutionaries and politicos in the real world doing the same thing. Ever heard of the Wonga Coup?