Take one part The Daily Show, stir in one part violent religous video game Left Behind: Eternal Forces, and roll it all up with a nice portion of This Week in God's Rob Corddry. The results: a delicous, snarky treat comparing "murder-simulator" Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas with, uh, saving-simulator (?) Left Behind.
"Damn! He just saved that guy right between the eyes!"
Damn Hot Coffee Mod. They accidently left the mini-game in where God has sex with Mary before the conception of Christ. Hackers find everything these days!!!
I couldn't put it better myself. When I saw that game, it was simply "wtf" followed by another "wtf."
On one hand, we have a Christian game which takes out "thou shalt not kill" in favor of "thou shalt not teamkill." On the other hand, we got a company selling these things in the church aisles.
I'm still waiting for capitalism and Christianity to destroy each other. I'm hoping that something explodes and that someone gets it on video.
That was… pretty dumb. Every bit as misrepresentative as mainstream media is to mainstream games. At least there is now incontrovertible proof that the liberals are as bad are the conservatives.
@2 You obviously haven’t read or seen any actual information about the game.
Except unlike mainstream media this was on COMEDY CENTRAL. They purposely distort things to make them funny. I don't think you can really compare their misrepresenting of news to the stuff actual news shows do.
I have read a little bit about the game. They say outright the game is quite violent. Its almost a marketing tool to show that this isn't your daddy's "The Bible Game."
from what ive read, youre supposed to try to convert anyone that isnt a fundamentalist christian (ie. jews, pagans, atheists and mainstream christians), so you can save their soul. i guess after they convert, they experience the rapture. if they dont convert... you kill them (cause apparently, deep down, jesus wants you to blow peoples heads off just as much as he wants rappers to get rich and tell you how about the crap theyve bought).
First and formost if the read the Bible in it's original langauge (Hebrew, Aramiac, Greek [?]). When you do you'll find that the correct translation is "Thou shal not murder", not kill.
Secondly, you don't kill people in the game because they don't convert.
Please let go of your hatred for Christians. I'll be the first to tell you, watch out for those who claim to be Christians and they aren't. Don't let them cloud your opinion. Not all of us are "fake", and aren't afraid to admit were not perfect.
@4, you obviously lack any detection of anything that has to do with a joke.
And number 12, we didn't come from monkeys we are monkeys. How so??? Because... According to cladistics, Old world Monkeys and New World Monkeys are both categorized as monkeys. The fact that humans share more of a common ancestor with Old World Monkeys than Old World Monkeys share with New World Monkeys means.... We are monkeys too! and anyways... evolution isn't all about that anyways. Evolution can survive beside religion. Evolution is the change of gene frequencies in a population over generations. It has been witnessed over and over again and there really is no way to refute it.
I know humans are apes. But according to Cladistics, apes are monkeys for the reason I gave (if you cared to read all of it).
Just like birds are reptiles since Crocidilians are classified as reptiles and birds are more closely related to crocidilians (in a group called archosaurs (sp?) which also includes dinosaurs)than all crocidilians are related to other 'reptiles' like turtles and lizards.
It is the same way birds are actually dinosaurs since they share a common ancestor with certain dinosaurs that other dinosaurs don't share with the dinosaurs that share a relationship with birds.
Hahhaha, man, some of you peeps just gotta buy yourself a sense of humor.
Me...I'm a Christian hating earth worm, and very proud of it, but I'm working on mating with a cockroach. I hear they're in an excellent position to inherit the earth come a few million years.
I remember taking christian theology in a Jesuit University and never once hearing about the now so common "Rapture" (semantics should really be used as a scorecard to tell when the names of people's ideas are crap).
So, this raises a question...is the "Left Behind" game a fantasy/first person shooter, or is it a hope-we-are-right-in-the-future-...-when-it-ends simulation?
The game looks like a crappy Dawn of War rip off. And this game is based on the rapture? Wasn't the idea of the rapture conceived by a guy who spent most of his life in the loony bin? It's not even in the Bible. And now the guy who controls all our nuclear weapons believes it's going to happen soon. That's the most disturbing thing. It's enough to make me wish the rapture really is coming. At least then, all these annoying fundamentalists would just disappear (is that how it's supposed to happen?) without a fight and we can get back to having a good time without worrying about what christians parents group will get upset. The rapture would probably be the best thing for the American gene pool too. Too bad it's not going to happen.
Evolution? It's amazing that Bush says the "jury's still out" on evolution. He perfectly illustrates how we're monkeys. He looks like one, eats like one, he seems to think like one, he even walks like one. Look at the way he walks; he's either a monkey or used to be really fat.
Did you hear about Mel Gibson's new video game Hitler-fest: Tourture Edition?
You know, with so many religions in the world claiming to be the one true religion, I find it amazing that anyone feels confident enough about their faith that they're willing to kill others over it.
I'm all over the place with this. I just don't know what to make fun of next. There's just so much to choose from.
I don't understand how neo-conservative Christians can be outraged by "terrorist acts" perpetrated by moslems but not bat an eyelid at a game which encourages the slaughter (see saving/converting) of anyone who doesn't believe in their fairytale...
I think this little ditty applies quite well to this situation:
"O Lord, Please Don't Burn Us"
(from Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life")
O Lord, please don't burn us. Don't grill or toast Your flock. Don't put us on the barbecue, Or simmer us in stock. Don't braise or bake or boil us, Or stir-fry us in a wok. O please don't lightly poach us, Or baste us with hot fat. Don't fricassee or roast us, Or boil us in a vat. And please don't stick Thy servants, Lord, In a Rotissomat.
"From the makers of Left Behind and Left Behind: Apocalpyse in the Mushroom Kingdom comes Grand Testament Auto: Malibu Edition!
Play as international movie star/religious nut Mel Gibson as he drives around the fair city of Malibu, converting the wicked and hating on the Jews. Get back at the Zionist Cabal that controls hollywood by releasing movie after movie of cinematic anti-semitism. Hold life and death in the palm of your hand by determing 'Are you a Jew?' and sowing the seeds of vengeance accordingly! Release date: The Rapture! Get your copy now!"
Two years ago 8% of Americans believed the world is going to end in their lifetime. One year ago that figure rose to 56%.
I live in NYC and there are a few people who believe that the world is going to end. I can understand why these people wish the world would end; they are all homeless whinos, junkies, and other examples of the walking wounded. When you hit rock bottom, you kind of wish everyone would be destroyed, I can understand that.
I just had no idea that so many people in the United States are in this position where they welcome the end of the world. I know we aren't doing too well but is this country in that bad shape?
I have to admit the apocolypse has gotten more colorfull. After the sermons urging us to repent (applied by magic marker to cardboard on the laundry-cart/home of the houseless guy by work) in brown and black, I almost welcome this crappy game.
But when I consider who’s going to be “Raptured” (assuming that God really wants all these nuts and winos), I think I’ll stay here on earth with all the demons, canibbals, and my favorite: the raining frogs. At least they're all far less annoying.
To 10 (tom), actually, it is not thou shalt not murder in its original language, it is thou shalt not kill. That's why there is so much controversy over that particular commandment, you know, what particular kind of killing are we talking about here.
{ Aug 1st 2006 at 8:57PM } 
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Matt T. @ Aug 1st 2006 9:25PM
This appears to be fun.
I've always wanted to be a God vs. Devil game,and this apperars to hit the spot conisdering the book are decent
Martin @ Aug 1st 2006 9:27PM
Damn Hot Coffee Mod. They accidently left the mini-game in where God has sex with Mary before the conception of Christ. Hackers find everything these days!!!
TianXia @ Aug 1st 2006 11:24PM
I couldn't put it better myself. When I saw that game, it was simply "wtf" followed by another "wtf."
On one hand, we have a Christian game which takes out "thou shalt not kill" in favor of "thou shalt not teamkill." On the other hand, we got a company selling these things in the church aisles.
I'm still waiting for capitalism and Christianity to destroy each other. I'm hoping that something explodes and that someone gets it on video.
Rhys @ Aug 2nd 2006 12:00AM
That was… pretty dumb.
Every bit as misrepresentative as mainstream media is to mainstream games.
At least there is now incontrovertible proof that the liberals are as bad are the conservatives.
@2
You obviously haven’t read or seen any actual information about the game.
Bryan @ Aug 2nd 2006 1:06AM
@ Rhys
Except unlike mainstream media this was on COMEDY CENTRAL. They purposely distort things to make them funny. I don't think you can really compare their misrepresenting of news to the stuff actual news shows do.
jorge @ Aug 2nd 2006 1:44AM
God will strike these blasphemers down and throw them into the pits of hell for mocking this divine and holy game.
Kross @ Aug 2nd 2006 1:53AM
I have read a little bit about the game. They say outright the game is quite violent. Its almost a marketing tool to show that this isn't your daddy's "The Bible Game."
mark @ Aug 2nd 2006 3:06AM
from what ive read, youre supposed to try to convert anyone that isnt a fundamentalist christian (ie. jews, pagans, atheists and mainstream christians), so you can save their soul. i guess after they convert, they experience the rapture. if they dont convert... you kill them (cause apparently, deep down, jesus wants you to blow peoples heads off just as much as he wants rappers to get rich and tell you how about the crap theyve bought).
Merus @ Aug 2nd 2006 4:16AM
I've always ran with the theory that mainstream Christians are more likely to be saved than fundamentalists. More tolerance, you see.
Not that this means that I'll ever play Left behind, or that it'll be released here.
tom @ Aug 2nd 2006 4:57AM
Some of you are seriously misguided.
First and formost if the read the Bible in it's original langauge (Hebrew, Aramiac, Greek [?]). When you do you'll find that the correct translation is "Thou shal not murder", not kill.
Secondly, you don't kill people in the game because they don't convert.
Please let go of your hatred for Christians. I'll be the first to tell you, watch out for those who claim to be Christians and they aren't. Don't let them cloud your opinion. Not all of us are "fake", and aren't afraid to admit were not perfect.
Johnny M @ Aug 2nd 2006 5:10AM
Joystiq+relgious discussion= serious business
Keef @ Aug 2nd 2006 6:16AM
pfff.... there is no god.... its just people who need to beleave there is something more to life.....
WELL THERE AINT OK!!! EVOLUTION!! WOOOT!!! i was a monkey and proud......
Keef @ Aug 2nd 2006 6:19AM
p.s. if there is a god..... im sorry.... it was the games that worped my fragile little mind!!.... honest!
Martin @ Aug 2nd 2006 7:30AM
@4, you obviously lack any detection of anything that has to do with a joke.
And number 12, we didn't come from monkeys we are monkeys. How so??? Because... According to cladistics, Old world Monkeys and New World Monkeys are both categorized as monkeys. The fact that humans share more of a common ancestor with Old World Monkeys than Old World Monkeys share with New World Monkeys means.... We are monkeys too!
and anyways... evolution isn't all about that anyways. Evolution can survive beside religion. Evolution is the change of gene frequencies in a population over generations. It has been witnessed over and over again and there really is no way to refute it.
idioteraser @ Aug 2nd 2006 8:12AM
http://www.talk2action.org/story/2006/6/21/23153/9497 has more about the game including the built in spyware that tracks you and even tells where in the world your computer is.
Number 14 humans are apes. Monkeys are not apes. Apes are chimpanzees, gorillias, orangutauns and humans.
Humans were classified as apes long before Charles Darwin.
idioteraser @ Aug 2nd 2006 8:26AM
But really joystiq should link to the whole this week in god segment. http://www.truthdig.com/avbooth/item/20060801_rob_courdry_hamas_camp/
Martin @ Aug 2nd 2006 8:31AM
I know humans are apes. But according to Cladistics, apes are monkeys for the reason I gave (if you cared to read all of it).
Just like birds are reptiles since Crocidilians are classified as reptiles and birds are more closely related to crocidilians (in a group called archosaurs (sp?) which also includes dinosaurs)than all crocidilians are related to other 'reptiles' like turtles and lizards.
It is the same way birds are actually dinosaurs since they share a common ancestor with certain dinosaurs that other dinosaurs don't share with the dinosaurs that share a relationship with birds.
Josh* @ Aug 2nd 2006 10:08AM
YOU ALL NEED TO GET LAID
Pixelantes Anonymous @ Aug 2nd 2006 10:16AM
Hahhaha, man, some of you peeps just gotta buy yourself a sense of humor.
Me...I'm a Christian hating earth worm, and very proud of it, but I'm working on mating with a cockroach. I hear they're in an excellent position to inherit the earth come a few million years.
Brent Welsh @ Aug 2nd 2006 10:58AM
hm..
I remember taking christian theology in a Jesuit University and never once hearing about the now so common "Rapture" (semantics should really be used as a scorecard to tell when the names of people's ideas are crap).
So, this raises a question...is the "Left Behind" game a fantasy/first person shooter, or is it a hope-we-are-right-in-the-future-...-when-it-ends simulation?
Gonzo @ Aug 2nd 2006 12:17PM
The game looks like a crappy Dawn of War rip off. And this game is based on the rapture? Wasn't the idea of the rapture conceived by a guy who spent most of his life in the loony bin? It's not even in the Bible. And now the guy who controls all our nuclear weapons believes it's going to happen soon. That's the most disturbing thing. It's enough to make me wish the rapture really is coming. At least then, all these annoying fundamentalists would just disappear (is that how it's supposed to happen?) without a fight and we can get back to having a good time without worrying about what christians parents group will get upset. The rapture would probably be the best thing for the American gene pool too. Too bad it's not going to happen.
Evolution? It's amazing that Bush says the "jury's still out" on evolution. He perfectly illustrates how we're monkeys. He looks like one, eats like one, he seems to think like one, he even walks like one. Look at the way he walks; he's either a monkey or used to be really fat.
Did you hear about Mel Gibson's new video game Hitler-fest: Tourture Edition?
You know, with so many religions in the world claiming to be the one true religion, I find it amazing that anyone feels confident enough about their faith that they're willing to kill others over it.
I'm all over the place with this. I just don't know what to make fun of next. There's just so much to choose from.
Mike @ Aug 2nd 2006 1:37PM
The game has been heavily ridiculed by Christians themselves -- don't get the impression that Christians are trying to push this.
Bible Krumper @ Aug 2nd 2006 1:39PM
I don't understand how neo-conservative Christians can be outraged by "terrorist acts" perpetrated by moslems but not bat an eyelid at a game which encourages the slaughter (see saving/converting) of anyone who doesn't believe in their fairytale...
I think this little ditty applies quite well to this situation:
"O Lord, Please Don't Burn Us"
(from Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life")
O Lord, please don't burn us.
Don't grill or toast Your flock.
Don't put us on the barbecue,
Or simmer us in stock.
Don't braise or bake or boil us,
Or stir-fry us in a wok.
O please don't lightly poach us,
Or baste us with hot fat.
Don't fricassee or roast us,
Or boil us in a vat.
And please don't stick Thy servants, Lord,
In a Rotissomat.
WamBam @ Aug 2nd 2006 2:17PM
"From the makers of Left Behind and Left Behind: Apocalpyse in the Mushroom Kingdom comes Grand Testament Auto: Malibu Edition!
Play as international movie star/religious nut Mel Gibson as he drives around the fair city of Malibu, converting the wicked and hating on the Jews. Get back at the Zionist Cabal that controls hollywood by releasing movie after movie of cinematic anti-semitism. Hold life and death in the palm of your hand by determing 'Are you a Jew?' and sowing the seeds of vengeance accordingly! Release date: The Rapture! Get your copy now!"
Gonzo @ Aug 2nd 2006 6:49PM
What worries me the most about this:
Two years ago 8% of Americans believed the world is going to end in their lifetime. One year ago that figure rose to 56%.
I live in NYC and there are a few people who believe that the world is going to end. I can understand why these people wish the world would end; they are all homeless whinos, junkies, and other examples of the walking wounded. When you hit rock bottom, you kind of wish everyone would be destroyed, I can understand that.
I just had no idea that so many people in the United States are in this position where they welcome the end of the world. I know we aren't doing too well but is this country in that bad shape?
I have to admit the apocolypse has gotten more colorfull. After the sermons urging us to repent (applied by magic marker to cardboard on the laundry-cart/home of the houseless guy by work) in brown and black, I almost welcome this crappy game.
But when I consider who’s going to be “Raptured” (assuming that God really wants all these nuts and winos), I think I’ll stay here on earth with all the demons, canibbals, and my favorite: the raining frogs. At least they're all far less annoying.
Sponge @ Aug 31st 2006 9:51PM
Real news show you say? then look at this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqzTOtNrDYA&NR
Frank @ Sep 1st 2006 6:33PM
To 10 (tom), actually, it is not thou shalt not murder in its original language, it is thou shalt not kill. That's why there is so much controversy over that particular commandment, you know, what particular kind of killing are we talking about here.