Ladies and gents, we present the worst Top 10 ever!
by Joystiq Staff 
{ Aug 17th 2006 at 6:55PM }
It's no secret around the Joystiq underground HQ that a certain number of us despise Top 10 lists. They are nothing more than fanboy baiting and ways for obscure and non-obscure gaming sites to pump up their traffic with super attention-whore tactics. However, when outrageous lists as the one we're about to present come across our desk, we just can't help but call them out on the pure idiocy of their claims.
May we present to you, the worst Top 10 list ever, by Kimberlee Rabenstein, famous author of "Thirty Amazing Turkey Facts":
"10 reasons why you should not buy an Xbox 360"
- The cost. Why anyone would pay as much as 1000 dollars for a video game system is beyond me.
- The release of the new Nintendo and the new Play tation. Why buy a system when two other new ones are coming out and you could want one of those ones?
- The system is designed to maximize HD qualities and if you don't have an HD television it's not much different than the previous Xbox.
- Microsoft's prying eyes are everywhere. When you use the internet connection to do any of the thousands of useless things offered on the Xbox 360 live it tracks your stats, achievements, what you're playing, how long you're playing it, with whom you're playing, if you're buying or renting games, even what time you started playing it.
- The DVD player the Xbox 360 boasts doesn't really boast anything except mediocre-ness. It doesn't compare to the video game graphics; you're better off with your current model of DVD player.
- The Xbox 360 overheats easily. The amount of heat the Xbox 360 outputs is astonishing. The fans are noisy and obviously can't handle the demand of the system.
- The game titles are very limited compared to other systems. Unless you like fighting, sports, or racing, there isn't much out there for you.
- In order to get all the features you have to spend more money on a hard drive or buy the more expensive version of the Xbox 360. Most people are confused with the multiple packages for sale and who wouldn't be?
- The power brick is larger than an Xbox game package and not that much smaller than the console itself. It is gigantic and weighs in at a hefty 6 pounds. ... that's 6 pounds plus gravity pulling on the back of your system.
- Customer support is a joke.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
Mark D. @ Aug 17th 2006 6:59PM
6 pounds plus gravity is the best line I've ever heard.
nick @ Aug 17th 2006 7:03PM
OMG! She also wrote "Have an orgasm for charity." I love that article!!!
DarkMavis @ Aug 17th 2006 7:03PM
This Top Ten list made me throw up in my mouth a little.....
Scott @ Aug 17th 2006 7:05PM
LMAO Best Fanboy ever LOL
Footlong! @ Aug 17th 2006 7:06PM
knowing that it's an idiot like this telling people not to buy a 360 should only convince them that purchasing one is the right move
dantebk @ Aug 17th 2006 7:06PM
"6 pounds plus gravity" is the new "All your base are belong to us"
Spread the word
Rabish12 @ Aug 17th 2006 7:06PM
There are so many things wrong with this that I don't even know where to start, so I guess I won't. I do have one thing to say though: how the hell did she miss FPSs on the 360? RPGs I might be able to see, and even the XBLA titles make some level of sense, but how in the world do you overlook the bread-and-butter genre of the console?
[-Z-] @ Aug 17th 2006 7:07PM
LOL, we have Sony and Microsoft. Now we need Nintendo to complete a full set. haha
Tim @ Aug 17th 2006 7:08PM
'mediocre-ness'?!?!?!? Umm...try 'mediocrity'...idiot...
Robert Summa @ Aug 17th 2006 7:08PM
Someone needs to make a YTMND of "6 pounds plus gravity".
That's an instant Internet classic waiting to happen.
nick @ Aug 17th 2006 7:08PM
She also wrote "Laser Hair Removal and Your Not-So-Public Areas."They are all hits! Everything she writes becomes instant gold!
ZeroG @ Aug 17th 2006 7:10PM
6 POUNDS PLUS GRAVITY! LMFAO!
Dear god. Kim needs a new head.
reguy @ Aug 17th 2006 7:11PM
She is soooo stupid, but on the other hand, she is still better than clint, darryl, and IslandLife put together!!!!!
eggfou @ Aug 17th 2006 7:14PM
I gotta admit my 360 DID overheat on me and ended up dead after a long session of Dead Rising, but customer service was actually helpful. I was on the phone maybe 10 minutes and I got my box shipped to me and my 360 sent to them. Now the agonizing wait...
Justice @ Aug 17th 2006 7:15PM
What side is she rooting for? She says it costs alot, and the PS3...... Does she like Nintendo? She then says right under it abut the Wii and PS3 and how we should wait. In other words, we should wait for a PS3, but the cost of the 360 is too much!??
Will @ Aug 17th 2006 7:15PM
Wow. Sure, Kimberlee was a bit off in some of her gripes, but Robert, could you have possibly been any more of an asshole about it? Being right doesn't excuse being a dick.
Intellectualdiot @ Aug 17th 2006 7:15PM
Hahahahaha. "6 pounds plus gravity"
That's instantly the most genuinely brilliant thing I've read on the internet in years. I don't even LIKE YTMNDs, but that's absolutely ripe for an obnoxious satirical page.
The Won @ Aug 17th 2006 7:15PM
"Super attention-whore tactics": successful.
"Run along now and put behind you this dream of becoming a respectable writer"? With a ridiculous post like this, who are you to talk?
Miniboss @ Aug 17th 2006 7:19PM
"Wow. Sure, Kimberlee was a bit off in some of her gripes, but Robert, could you have possibly been any more of an asshole about it? Being right doesn't excuse being a dick."
And you think she didn't deserve it? Just as she has every right to post her refuse onto the Web, we have a right to mock her until the end of time. Or until Vista ships.
fat boy @ Aug 17th 2006 7:21PM
Dude you seriously need to get out more.
nick @ Aug 17th 2006 7:22PM
to 15.
He may have come off a little harsh, but if you don't know what you are talking about, then don't write about it.
rhork. @ Aug 17th 2006 7:24PM
"Kimberlee is a mother of two and writing is her passion. She enjoys spending time with her family, sharing her love of music, spoiling her children, and reading true crime novels. She aspires to one day become a well recognized poet."
Perhaps she should stick to poor grammar poetry and keep her nose out of ignorant, poor grammar, video game insight.
William @ Aug 17th 2006 7:25PM
*laughs hard* I got the link for the kimby article on gamespot and then i found this article. WOW kimby doesn't have any idea what shes talking about.
HOW DARE 360 cost 1000 dollars. What you mean like how dare ps3 cost 1200?
Xbox @ Aug 17th 2006 7:28PM
What...that List is just Fanboy baiting.
Saint Fuzzball @ Aug 17th 2006 7:29PM
To #20
If that happened these comment sections would shrink to a tenth of their size. Imagine all the space!
;-)
Saint Fuzzball @ Aug 17th 2006 7:30PM
damn it, I meant 21, sorry.
Flame Resistant @ Aug 17th 2006 7:30PM
Seriously, I have been watching this insanity since this morning and can't figure out what is worse, the article or the people responding to it. Wait, I am pretty sure it is the people responding to it. The comments on her site about her mother and incest aren't even remotely close to reasonably acceptable. Are all gamers so hated they have no recourse but to hate?? Maybe I am just getting too old for this crap. USE THE FACTS TO DISPUTE THE ARTICLE. That is what the thing needs, not remmarks about her picture. Sometimes I am embarrassed to be associated with you people.
schmidt @ Aug 17th 2006 7:32PM
Hey Joystiq, why is this worth anyone's time? Why even draw attention to this, much less take the bait and waste the time responding to it? Slow news day?
bv @ Aug 17th 2006 7:32PM
6 pounds plus gravity equals like an elephant, am i right??
Asz @ Aug 17th 2006 7:32PM
I'd really stop taking this as seriously as you guys are. Associated Content is a joke website to begin with. Basically what they do is "hire" random people to write articles on WHATEVER they feel like regardless of any actual knowledge, writing skill, or wit. Anyone who reads AC and actually takes anything to heart is obviously too engrossed in their myspace profile to look at the obvious flaws of letting everyone and their mother (literally) write articles that are passed off as fact.
"6 pounds plus gravity" is hilarious regardless. :D
Will @ Aug 17th 2006 7:32PM
"And you think she didn't deserve it? Just as she has every right to post her refuse onto the Web, we have a right to mock her until the end of time. Or until Vista ships."
No, she didn't deserve it. Being wrong about something shouldn't open someone up to people being assholes towards her. Could you imagine if the world worked this way? If people felt entitled to be pricks just because someone was wrong about something. Imagine making a mistake at work and then immediately having 10 coworkers call you out on it and tell you how you'll never be a respectable employee, how you're a joke, etc. Imagine failing a test in school and then the teacher reading your answers in front of the class while everyone made disparaging comments about you.
There's a huge difference between pointing out how her article was way off-base and being a complete asshole about it. The lack of common fucking decency, and people sticking up for that lack of decency, is mind-blowing. Robert's response to her article was classless, and it's really a shame.
But that's just my opinion. It appears I'm in the minority here, and if that's the case, that's pretty unfortunate.
foxhaze @ Aug 17th 2006 7:33PM
Oh snap, 6 pounds plus gravity! I'm going to bring up the logistics behind that one in physics tomorrow.
nick @ Aug 17th 2006 7:33PM
to 24/25.
lol... Good point!
Miniboss @ Aug 17th 2006 7:36PM
"Could you imagine if the world worked this way?"
I was under the impression that it did. My bad.
Russell @ Aug 17th 2006 7:41PM
slow news day?
Arch @ Aug 17th 2006 7:41PM
HAHAHAHA 6 POUNDS PLUS GRAVITY!!!!!!!!WOOOOOOOOOO.
WTF? IS HR 360 SUSPENDED IN THE AIR WITH THE POWER SUPPLY HANGING?!
OH AND SHE DOES DESERVE IT SONY FANBOYS.
Magetto @ Aug 17th 2006 7:42PM
#15
"You should always wait to see what system you want before spending the amount of money they want for an Xbox 360. Not to mention we all know the Playstation 3 is going to blow them both out of the water."
Sony Fanboy she is. Joystiq cut out alot of actual article, but most of it is rubbish.
"Thirdly, it gets incredibly hot as well and with it being so large it’s going to touch all of your other cords and wires and heat them up as well. "
Watch it out the XBOX IS HUEG powerbrick will touch your wires for sure and cause them to heat up!
Oh boy is she going to be in for a surprise when she goes to buy a Playstation 3. I can see it now
"WHAT!? 599 USD!?" She will then proceed to blog about how Microsoft is the reason Sony is selling it at such a high price.
N3k74r @ Aug 17th 2006 7:43PM
I hope you know that the only things Robert put valid points on were numbers 1, 5, and give-or-take 7.
The rest were all just asshattery comments I would expect from users at, for example, GameFAQs! Atleast they still give valid reasoning after their sarcastic comments.
By the way - " Run along now and put behind you this dream of becoming a respectable writer." The irony is too much to bear.
Sorry that your little feelings got hurt by some random person's Top 10 List. Try not to be so biased next time, mkay?
DeezNuts420 @ Aug 17th 2006 7:47PM
Hey!!! I submitted this article. I slaved over a hot CPU for hours, and I don't even get a SHOUTOUT for my efforts?!!! Come Robert, where's the LOVE?!!
r-deezy @ Aug 17th 2006 7:54PM
@ Will
Can you imagine what it would be like if no one ever got made fun of?? Bye bye John Stewart, Mr. Colbert, South Park, Wonder Showzen... that would be horrible!
Robert Summa @ Aug 17th 2006 7:54PM
Hey Deez, I had this piece written around 4 p.m. or so. It's just been waitin' in line to be posted. Your tip came after it was already in the bank, so to speak.
And for those saying I was too harsh or whatever, I'm just upset with Top 10 lists to begin with and when I see people try to pawn off their silly writing as serious journalism, I feel compelled to call them out. I'm sure you'd be pissed if you were a doctor and somebody came in your hospital with no education and started doing surgery on everyone and talking about what an expert he or she was.
You can see in her comments on the site she wrote at that she thinks what she wrote is FACT. I wouldn't normally post things like this, see I hate top 10 lists, but this just deserves to be called out for the BS it is. I knew some wouldn't agree with me, but that's where I'm coming from.
Beastyboy @ Aug 17th 2006 7:54PM
Smeone send her a link to this.
Max @ Aug 17th 2006 7:56PM
So, according to her math, if the 360 costs $1000, the PLAYSTATION 3 will cost... $1500?
Joel @ Aug 17th 2006 7:59PM
She needs to change her motto. "It is easier to get forgiveness than permission!". She could never get either for writing an article with such little research, about a subject she knows nothing about.
cringer8 @ Aug 17th 2006 7:59PM
While I did laugh at some of the reasoning in her post, I did not laugh at any of Robert's replies. I couldn't *believe* he had the audacity to point out a *typo*. His posts almost always contain at least one. Maybe had he been a little more clever and taken a different angle on his counter position, it could have been a decent post. Instead he just came across as a hypocrite.
@ Arch
You missed the funny. 6 lbs already takes gravity into consideration.
airpolgas @ Aug 17th 2006 8:00PM
Looks like she (or at least someone from their site) has been busy deleting comments on the article. Now that is just weak.
chad @ Aug 17th 2006 8:01PM
6lbs plus gravity would make a great shirt.
cringer8 @ Aug 17th 2006 8:03PM
Ooooohhh, how perfect. Case in point:
Robert wrote in comment #39, "You can see in her comments on the site she wrote at that she thinks what she wrote is FACT"
Did you mean "that at" instead of "at that?"
Put behind you this dream of becoming a respectable writer.
cringer8 @ Aug 17th 2006 8:05PM
Oh, wait, it's just funky grammar, I think...I can read it two ways...sorry
I'll wait for the next one :)
anon @ Aug 17th 2006 8:07PM
We should tell her what we think of her article…google her name…