Fake Wii "news" allegedly pulled from trash bin [update 1]

by Joystiq Staff { Aug 27th 2006 at 9:50PM }

Go Nintendo sure is rife with rumors this weekend. The latest fakery involves a speech transcript allegedly intended for use by Reggie Fils-Aime at the big Nintendo event to be held in NYC on September 14.

Here are a few of the Wii fantasies embedded in the document:

Hint at possible Apple partnership
$175 U.S. price
Launch date of Oct. 2
1.5 million units shipped to U.S.; 1.5 million units shipped to Japan; 1 million units shipped to Europe
Wii package includes: Black or white Wii console; one Wii remote; one nun chuck device; one classic controller; copy of Wii Sports; built-in WiiConnect24 service; voucher for 1,000 coins for Virtual Console; built-in Web browser; remake of Duck Hunt; 512MB SD card.
21 launch titles
New Kid Icarus game for Wii

Check out the individual fake pages here:
Page 1
Page 2
Page 3
Page 4
Page 5

[Update: We made it clear in the headline and first paragraph that we don't believe this for a second, but it's appropriately zany and fun for a weekend post.]

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

Franky Digital @ Aug 27th 2006 9:56PM

I was thinking to myself "yadda yadda yadda, another trash rumour post" when I found myself stuck on the line about what the console includes. The naming for the "Nintendo points" for Virtual Console, the "coins": that seems to have a real ring of truth to it. A very aptly named moniker that I could actually see Nintendo using.

Sub @ Aug 29th 2006 1:26AM

Wow, please let that be true. If it cost 175 dollars and came with all of that, I'd buy 3.

Crushed @ Aug 27th 2006 9:57PM

Holy shit, Joystiq; this was clearly a joke.

"Confidential waste bin"? Good God.

Pince @ Aug 27th 2006 9:57PM

soooo many rumors...what to believe. Damn, I really hope all of that is true.

Though...then again, if that is true, then it kind of sucks that it was leaked in such a way. It would kind of ruin the actual announcement for anyone who chooses to believe this.

Oh Nintendo ever so tricky and always with the surprises.

AllSpades @ Aug 27th 2006 10:01PM

BWAHAHAHAHAH! the "crumple" texture is the same on every page. really, really bad photoshop job. A for effort, though.

Jigen @ Aug 27th 2006 9:58PM

You can tell they're photoshopped. The crumples give it away, in addition to the formatting and other contextual errors.

Again, Joystiq posts rumors conjured up by a blogger.

Stranger678 @ Aug 27th 2006 9:59PM

You can almost picture the wet dream of a fanboy that spawned this obviously false BS,

This should be filed right next to the notion that the WII is really twice as powerful shown so far, they were just keeping it a secret.

Crushed @ Aug 27th 2006 9:59PM

Seriously, "Metal Gear Dark Snakes" and the Nintendo ON? Did you guys even read the rest of the thing?

Pixel D @ Aug 27th 2006 9:59PM

if this was true ( how easy is it to fake this)sign me up to buy one at lauch. Too good of a deal for that price.

vc @ Aug 27th 2006 10:01PM

Fake.

1. Typos galore.

2. You don't print a speech out in 12-point TNR.

3. Have you ever seen an exec deliver a speech from a typed document?

4. The voice is all wrong. This is fanboy-written, not Nintendo-written. It's got juvenile all over it.

daydayrules @ Aug 27th 2006 10:02PM

head mounted display? oh dear god, no.......nintendo will have to really design this well otherwise you will look like a COMPLETE NERD playing it.....Virtual Boy, anyone?

Andrew @ Aug 27th 2006 10:06PM

For crying out loud...that's an awfully lazy photoshop job. I mean the guy could have at least printed the documents, then scrunched them up and taking some actual photos.

Leto @ Aug 27th 2006 10:06PM

So fake.

CSC @ Aug 27th 2006 10:10PM

The gist of the Wii bundle seems real/believable enough, price aside Im sure the final release wont be very different.

But the 'helmet mounted display' just points the whole thing out as a fake, controller innovation is one thing that is just taking the biscuit.

It defies logic as well, to fully use the w11mote you need the screen ahead of you so you can see what your hands are doing as well as whats happening ingame. with the diplay on you head it ruins that level of contrast needed for accurate play.

not to mention it sounds and would look stupid.

Optimus Prime @ Aug 27th 2006 10:13PM

Head mounted display .. baahahhawhawhahahwhahwahhaa! .. They're trying to get casual gamers to play, not turn them into BORGS. ..we .are . borg .. !

MuKKa @ Aug 27th 2006 10:17PM

@ #5: photoshopped? why would they even bother? why not just type it up, print it out, crumple it, and scan it? doubtful it's photoshopped.

Not to say it's believable, though. Most of it seems "too good to be true" and I especially have beef with Reggie spelling "revolutionise" with an s. He's not British.

botox salesman @ Aug 27th 2006 10:29PM

imagine asking the store keeper for a "helmet mounted display for my wii" you'd be arrested. And Mukka, it is almost certainly photoshoped (maybe not done in photoshop but certainly digitally created)

Patrick @ Aug 27th 2006 10:30PM

If they were announcing colors wouldn’t they name them something individual like “onyx black” and “pearl white” or something like that rather than just black and white?

plufim @ Aug 27th 2006 10:42PM

@ #16: ah, but it is photoshopped. Look at the crumple patterns - they are identical on every page.

Andrew @ Aug 27th 2006 10:36PM

#16 MUKKER look at the crumples. meathead.

Teh_Sudds @ Aug 27th 2006 10:39PM

And more specifically: the crumple background is the same from image to image, and the text doesn't follow the folds.

Lollerbeans.

Psaakyrn @ Aug 27th 2006 10:43PM

to #16 MuKKa

a) Via illegal means, it's cheaper to get photoshop than a printer and scanner.
b) It's easier.

More signs that it's fake:
a) Perfectly readable text despite being crumpled.
b) Who crops images like this?
And finally,
c) Official documents are shredded, not thrown away.

It'd be more believable if someone posted an "intercepted" email.

bmfrosty @ Aug 27th 2006 11:34PM

#22 - Corporate sites tend to use locked trash bins that are taken out for bulk shredding or burning. It's like that where I work.

Raynre @ Aug 27th 2006 11:00PM

In a perfect world, this would all come true.

It even sounds like Reggie too. I give props to whoever made this up, they really studied his past presentations.

However, I have to call BS on this one, even if I still hold out hope on the "Ha ha, we gotcha" graphics rumor. First off, whoever typed this up has horrible grammar/spelling in several places. Metroid Dread? Geist? Metal Gear? I know we're all wishful thinkers, (well, except for the Geist game...) but some of these are actually kind of off the wall when you think of them. Konami has been giving the PSP mucho love with three seperate Metal Gear games, and its much more likely that we'll be seeing a Metal Gear game for the Wii before a DS version...

Too bad though... if Nintendo somehow does manage to pull all of this off, I will personally make a trip to Japan and offer myself as blood sacrifice to my new God and Overlord, Iwata-san.

Chris @ Aug 27th 2006 11:12PM

Obviously a fake document but makes a fun read anyway. The fake sales numbers for the DS games is a dead give-away that this was written by an anxious fan and it is filled with a lot of "little" errors. I doubt there is a person in the world that believes Geist was from Retro Studios, it was n-Space. Also, there's no chance of Phantom Hourglass hitting the states by the end of 2006. Though, it does have some interesting ideas in there. If Metroid Dread really does exist and it is a 3D sidescroller hybrid like New Super Mario Bros., that would be pretty sweet.

Rene @ Aug 27th 2006 11:16PM

I'm not sure whether Joystiq is trying to cover the fact that they thought this rumor had some validity behind it, or the update is to now say "pardon us, it probably is fake."

Seroth @ Aug 27th 2006 11:26PM

I'm pretty sure it's fake either way, but about the crumples...if you stacked a bunch of papers ontop of each other, then crumpled them up, wouldn't all the creases be the same on each page?

Dave @ Aug 27th 2006 11:44PM

That's pretty funny if not taken seriously. Any "confidential" documents wouldn't simply be crumpled up and thrown away, though. It's standard protocol in any respectable company to shred stuff.

Maybe @ Aug 27th 2006 11:41PM

So fake!

Oh well, hopefully there still is a Metroid Dread game in the making. And an SD Card would be nice too. Matter of fact, I like the 1,000 VC coins thing too. Stupid lousy photoshopper, if he would have made it more believable then I'd be the happiest person on earth right now.

Maybe @ Aug 27th 2006 11:43PM

Oh and even if it was more believable, the HDM display killed it for me when I actually read the whole thing.

Mac User @ Aug 28th 2006 12:16AM

This is all completely true. I bet Reggie is shitting his pants seeing this post. How can he give the speech now? They will just have to give it anyways and look like fools because so much has been leading up to this day. This was probably stolen out of Reggie's house by a prostitute that he hired who, little did he know, was just a fan girl who wanted some new info!!!

epobirs @ Aug 28th 2006 12:17AM

This seems reminiscent of the recent PS3/PSP 'insider info' postings. In that set of claims was included an absurd 200 PSP titles for release within this calendar year. In this claimed Nintendo document they go a bit more conservative with a still completely absurd 150 DS games for the US within this calendar year.

The hoaxer here apparently thinks Nintendo would happily flood the market with product, and that retailers have anywhere near the shelf spae for that many new titles, even if they eliminated all existing titles.

shock_combo @ Aug 28th 2006 12:27AM

coins=nintendo money=genius
The delirious fanboy must have been up all night fantasizing about this. However it was a good read.

Mac User @ Aug 28th 2006 12:31AM

Joystiq grow some balls!!!!!!!
take fake off the headline while you still can. it's still early but I bet you will be getting contacted by someone very high up at Nintendo telling you to take this post down right now. But don't do it because Nintendo must suffer for withholding this precious info for so long!!! And YES there are typos, has anyone ever heard of a first draft???????! There's still two weeks to get ready, it would have been finalized by then, DUH!

jOEfRO @ Aug 28th 2006 12:50AM

If this was real, I guess Ninetendo couldn't afford a paper shreader

jOEfRO @ Aug 28th 2006 12:53AM

*Nintendo

and also, did anyone else find the paragraph were Nintendo trash talks the PSP and Microsoft's Next Gen Xbox 360...very non Nintendo

Blink @ Aug 28th 2006 12:57AM

Mac User, the only word processor that doesn't have an automatic spellcheck nowdays is a typewriter. >_<

It's a bunch of lofty goals that this particular fan wants Nintendo to acheive. Unreasonable, yes, but fans would love to see this be true.

Oh, and Metroid Dread ought to be a NSMB style game with Hunters controls mixed with Yoshi touch and go style controls. Fire by tapping on screen, move with D-pad(up to jump, down to morph), and L/R to switch to missiles. Double tap samus to use whatever she's standing in front of. That'd be a blast.

ThreeSixWii @ Aug 28th 2006 1:46AM

OMFG!!!1111!one

I TOLD you all the BRAIN is real

Nintnedo " ON"

WFT!!!!!!

For realzr!!!

play free games @ Aug 28th 2006 8:36AM

I am leaning towards a hoax on this Nintendo announcement, but I think the time and effort by whoever produced this documnet is really great. It is well written and thought out, if it is indeed a hoax.

Brad Lee @ Aug 28th 2006 1:40AM

Although this is obviously a pantload, I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of this ends up being true, or at least close to true.

Hint at possible Apple partnership - Total BS, I don't believe this one at all

$175 U.S. price - It wouldn't surprise me, but I'm still guessing the price over $200

Launch date of Oct. 2 - I think this is a bit early. It's little over a month away!

1.5 million units shipped to U.S.; 1.5 million units shipped to Japan; 1 million units shipped to Europe - I think the Wii was designed with production in mind. So I think 4 mil. units is much more likely to achieve with the Wii than the PS3.

Wii package includes: Black or white Wii console; one Wii remote; one nun chuck device; one classic controller; copy of Wii Sports; built-in WiiConnect24 service; voucher for 1,000 coins for Virtual Console; built-in Web browser; remake of Duck Hunt; 512MB SD card. - I would agree with most of this, but I doubt Nintendo would pack all those goodies together at $175

21 launch titles - I thought it was 27?

New Kid Icarus game for Wii - This one seems like a no-brainer, what with Pit joining the Smash Bros roster.

Yohan @ Aug 28th 2006 2:32AM

Obviously this is fake but was well thought out. Some of this info could be spot on but a $175 asking price?Nintendo of America will surely round up to $199 if this was the case and reduce to that price if sales slow down early next year.

Would be cool if true...but I think its just wishful thinking for us Wii fans!

Mac User @ Aug 28th 2006 2:49AM

Apple partnership?!?!?!? WTF!!?!?!? I don't think so!!! Didn't you all read the pages? Again, if anyone has heard a Reggie speech you'll have to agree that you can hear the shadow of his voice as you read those pages. Either he wrote them or The company wrote them and he is just starting to memorize them but I can "hear" him saying them already. When he'll pull the apple out of his jacket it's just a reference to the very popular keynotes that Steve Jobs gives for Apple where at practically every one something new is released on that day or very soon in the future. It will be a little joke between Nintendo and Apple and I'm sure Nintendo has discussed this with Steve before attempting it and I'm sure Steve was flattered. Think about it and I'm sure you'll agree. Can you believe the response from the crowd at that point? Being able to buy the Wii in two weeks? (from the speech) AMAZING!!!! They'll have to schedule in a 5 minute ovation time!!! It's too bad that Reggie will be fired for such a devistating screw up like this because so many people like him. And he was just promoted, what a shame. To Joystiq: for the second time, change "fake" to "leaked" if you want people to respect your site.

RiemannMeetLebesgue @ Aug 28th 2006 2:56AM

OK, Mac User, fess up... you wrote this.

Patrick @ Aug 28th 2006 3:20AM

Who would take the time to type all this up and to think up all these ideas? I mean, don't they have a life?

well. Probably not.

Ubersnuber @ Aug 28th 2006 3:27AM

Is it just me, or does this guy (pic) look like a psycho?
ok, maybe just me then..

oh yea: Fake

ManekiNeko @ Aug 28th 2006 4:25AM

I just wish Reggie would get all this nonsense out of the way and just tell us how much the bloody thing is going to cost. I'm sick, sick, sick to death of the rumors and the fake reports. People from industry bigwigs to lowly personal bloggers have been telling us what Nintendo plans to do, but the only folks who know for sure are the ones working at Nintendo.

The company's decision to string us along for at least another two weeks crosses the border of nail-biting suspense into the murky swamps of disillusionment. Isn't it just a little ridiculous that Nintendo is keeping so much under wraps until a month before the Wii is actually released?

Enough is enough, Reggie. Just give us the goods. It's not like you have much to worry about from Sony this year anyway... the Playstation 3's sticker shock alone will be enough to send a stampede of customers straight for your product.

JR

nambit @ Aug 28th 2006 4:45AM

I kinda recall that NOE rep recently said neither the date or price has been finalized yet. I presume they're making final considerations before a price is determined. Perhaps the same might be true for a release date too.

I'm still not 100% sold that September 14 is the date we'll find out. The invitation just mentions an intention to celebrate "an upcoming line-up with Reggie". For all we know, it might be another LGC in which a bunch of games (maybe the full launch schedule) is released. It's a 6 hr event which kinda suggests there will be some gametime for the invites. Maybe the final Wii hardware that includes the final remote (no more wires) will be revealed.

In any case, don't torture yourselves. The final pieces of the puzzle will be revealed soon enough, I imagine. Whether we know now or in a month doesn't matter since the hardware is probably 2 months away anyhow.