You could be eating this Xbox 360 controller [update 1]

O.O *applauds PaleGringo* That was like... an Oddyssey in Limerick. :P

Now three consoles remain from the past
Their decendents come hard and move fast
While fanboys do ponder,
I really do wonder
Which new system is doomed to Dreamcast

MS and Nintendo are prime
their consoles have made it on time
from delays to price tags
and blu ray that lags
a PS3 will never be mine

Alright I'll give it a shot:

"30 UP" by Noodle

This holiday will be the true test,
To see which new console's the best,
"I'm broke" is my mantra,
So I'll stick to Contra,
Up up, down down, left right left


"Dark Horse" by Noodle

Three consoles: the battle begins,
While one secret company grins,
Console number four,
Codename: The Dark Horse,
SEGA DREAMCAST 2 FOR TEH WIN!!

have to put a bunch because Joystiq wont let me do many posts..

Nintendo has secrets to tell
Microsoft lets live players yell
Do they care at all for me
with the new Playstation 3?
Sony just wants BluRay to sell

pro Wii

Videogames to me are the bomb
The once kept me from going to prom,
But Nintendos my friend
My dull life will end
When I'm smacking my Wii on your Mom!

Pro Sony

The Fans all say Nintendo is Kiddy
----- never mind children read this!

Pro Sony

People have had all their fun
Saying that Sony is dumb
But just wait and see
For the new PS3
Leaves Sony in spot number one

Pro 360

People say Wii's on the go
Or Sony will steal the show.
But, your bubble I burst
With "No Console is first,
More than two years in a row"

There was once a kid from New Jersey,
Who desired an Xbox 360,
His mother then asked "How about a Wii?"
The boy replied back "No Ma, I went already."
Shaking her head, Mom said "Okay, maybe a PS3."
To which the kid answered "I'd rather take another Wii!"

There was an Old Man of Peru,
Who never knew who he should buy from;
Nobody bought from Sony, and they became quite lonely,
The Wii was pretty much free,
And he knew the Xbox (360) rocks,
So he was tought, and he bought a wii60!

On Retro Gaming for the "New Generation" of Consoles:

A man with nostalgia is doomed
to buy trinkets to fill up his rooms;
If indeed he is rich,
and no son of a bitch,
he'll buy any old game exhumed.

On the Matter of Competition:

Three children in front of their peers
said, "We've been entertaining for years!
Why should we stop now
that we have our cash cows;
our milking is buying us Lears!*"

*Learjets

For Sony:

Silent are the Valhalla halls
as savings accounts receive their palls;
His finances quite bleak,
even Odin has leaked,
"Kutaragi is breaking my balls."

I got to Best Buy at noon the day prior
To obtain the console that I desire.
But while in line I heard of the Wii
And then I decided that it's for me.
But tell me what happened to the PS3!

I camped out for the xbox 360
Sold my soul for the PS3
The wife divorced
Without any remorse
Now I'm left here playing with my Wii

There is a console called Wii,
It's small to a large degree,
Then there was sony,
but 600- I can't pony,
So I'll stick with my potpourri.

Meh, I'll give it another shot:

I have a nice white Xbox,
Blu ray's got your head in the stocks.
Then theres the Wii,
who cares? screw all three,
I'll just take whiskey on the rocks.

along came the 360
then came sony and wi
which oen is for me
one was good other was to much
to much for us so it had to be wi
wi for us to much to discuss
360 was right but sonys price made it lust

How tired I am of this fight
That ‘troller looks good for a bite
The wii breaks the mold
Sony’s paddle’s now old
The 360 is looking just right

There was a man from Sony
Who said you ought to buy a PS3

But he felt dread
When Wii found Instead

The shelves filled with Microsoft's xbox 360s

One console remained in the end
The console to set a new trend
A new idea was here
Fanboys mocked it in fear
Nintendo's lead was regained once again

Another shot for each system:

A plot Sony's surely devising
But on xbox you can play dead rising
kill zombies for fun
no need for a gun
the weapons are surely surprising!

Twilight Princess is comming this fall
and with Metroid we'll have a ball
Red Steel will be rad
much fun will be had
but I can't wait for Smash Bothers Brawl!

PS3 could be like gaming heaven
Unlike Wii if you're older than seven
Ken thinks they're the best
but no one will let rest
"RIDGE RACER!!1oneoneeleven"

The 360 came out to much speculation,
Sony is skipping a continent of nations,
The gamers all sweared,
Our wallets were bare,
And we all cried Ninty for the win!

The offerings so far have been meager,
And they all seem a little too eager,
To strip all your cash,
And take off with a dash,
I'll stick with playing my Sega.

There's a console Nintendo calls Wii,
who's monicker doth trouble me;
not half the locution as the late "revolution",
but still i await anxiously.

The world waited impatiently,
for Sony's grand show at E3;
"Ridge Racer!" Kaz cried,
but the crowd they just sighed,
and resolved to save cash for the Wii.

Hmmm.... I need a 360 one.

I'd give up my leg for 360
And the PS3 is too expensive for me
And to you I am sorry Nintendo
But I just do not have the dough
So I will sit here and play Atari

We could argue until we die,
about the console that is fly,
but at nintendo's booth,
We all saw the truth,
a three hour line doesn't lie.

For Wii, Three-sixty, and PlayStation
Wireless controllers are cause for elation
They call the Wiimote "unique"
But for reasons oblique
PS3's the only one sans-vibration

The console wars always cause a row
After E3 three competitors took a bow
Ken's price made us giggle
Reggie's 'mote made us wiggle
But can I please just concetrate on 360 for now?

At E3'06 we were given a treat,
Three consoles we were allowed a peep.
but Ken the desperado,
who ripped off Nintendo,
Gave us Blu-ray & called it cheap.

A new type of Soap Opera most risque
"The Bold and the Polygonal" on T.V.
Master Chief lost his head
Link took Kratos to bed
Coming soon to your PSWii60!

there once was a man from japan
with a playstation 3 in his hand
he bitch-slapped shigeru
rubbed Allard's bald hairdo
and shouted I'm Ken Kutaragi!

PS3 is bashed cause of Ken
360 cant get any Yen
Wii may still not impress
I couldn't care to guess
I am Employed by IBM

there used to be games fun to play
we would laugh and enjoy them all day
now we are pawns
to the corporate johns
and they laugh as they take all our pay

The console wars are too epic a subject matter to be contained in one measly limerick. I present to you, in the tradition of poor poets ever since the limerick was invented, the epic limerick cycle.

It's like the Niebelunglied, but shorter. And there's less of the rings, heroism, and death.

But other than that? *Just* like it.

PS3, the 360, and Wii
In a perfect world would be free
Instead, to my sorrow,
I will have to borrow
To get my game fix on all three—

First off, my hat’s off to SONY
Their “cash cow”s a one-trick kind of pony
“Look at the cell’s size!
“You won’t trust your eyes!
“Now please just fork over your money.”

The 360 is king of the stable
It’s networked and graphically able
When you play—hold your breath
It’s the red ring of death
A Microsoft product—unstable?

The Wii is the best, it’s suggested.
Innovative, it cannot be bested.
But in stores if you play
With your “Wii wand” all day
For indecency you’ll be arrested!

But wait! There’s a console I dream
Will be released to acclaim and esteem—
Weblogs has no site
And that just ain’t right
We need Phantom Fanboy, I deem!

there once was a white 3-6-T
that lived on a hill with a Wii
though howling wind blows,
the doors never close.
'cause the doorstop's a new PS3

There once was a Playstation 3
Which was priced much higher then Wii
The PS3 sucked
And the Wii got itself f*cked
By the glorious Xbox three-six-tee (tii?)

There once was a duel for best limmerick,
You might wonder what site would do this frick,
Wii, PS3 and 360,
Fanboys that argue incessantly,
I just want 'least 1 star, please Joystiq!

"Your system must wow and amaze."
I wish that had been just a phase.
It only must run
The games that are fun,
Not top the technology craze.

Just so you know i am a huge fan of the playstation consoles but the ps3 is too much money, so i will be getting the wii. (wii... what a stupid name...)



All consoles are good,
But one will be on top,
Xbox is like playing with wood,
Sony games can be played while you hop,
Nintendo has few good games,
Xbox has good graphics and halo,
Playstation has the games and nice frames,
Wii is cheaper than that xbox crow,
Who will win the war?,
Only gamers can say for sure,
It'll be a very close score,
But the winner will take it like a blur!

At first glance the price tag seemed shifty,
along with dual models; "core" and "360"
bur with sony's big blunder
pushing the bar so far under
all the Halo 3 fans will seem thrifty.

Wii and 360 are looking more handsome
as the ps3 will cost a king's ransom.
A price drop would be great,
but you might as well wait
For Duke Nukem to launch with the Phantom

Why didn't we all say "fuck you"
back when sony first launched PS2?
its profound fragility
hampered gaming ability,
myself, I have gone through a few.

I'm writing this Limerick to say,
this is more than I'm willing to pay!
the price for them all
is quite far from small
and a good HDTV costs 3K!

There once was a girl named Christy,
Who had choice that made her eyes misty.
3 choices to make,
Made her heart break.
So, she bought all and made a PsWii60.

It might be DOOOO DOOOOOO!

A munificent uncle named Tony,
Had a neice who loved systems from Sony,
But the overall fee,
Of the Playstation 3,
Made it cheaper to buy her a pony!

Wii will rule them all
======================

First there was a 360,
Then along came the PS3,
But both went the way of the dodo,
For at last, came the great Nintendo,
who proudly unleashed its big, grand Wii.

"With my Wii I'm going to play",
Said the little, 8 year old Jay,
He locked his door,
And couldn't make more noise,
Then he dropped his magazine and screamed "Yay!"