Avast, buckos! Ninja or pirate?

Yar, t'would be a fine day for Ninjas OR Pirates, but sadly, "Talk like a Ninja" day wouldn't get ye very far, now would it?

"..."

Ironic that this be the last day of "Talk like a man in a video game about zombies" too, eh matey?

Arrrr.

Ok, so the oldest hypothetical question ever:
1000 Ninjas vs. 1000 pirates
Who wins?

The ninjas would totally win, of course.

I'd still love the pirates more than them, though! =)

This is embarrassing. =[

Giant robot monkey ninja cyclopses with sicles would kick all their sword loving kazooies.

ninjas and pirates...

cmon kiddos time to get a life

Premaximum -

Nope, law of inverse ninja strength. The 1,000 pirates would whip up on the ninjas until there was only 1 ninja left then there would likely be a stalemate from that point on.

Well, Judd, it depends on the strategy used by the pirates. Now, if they fought straight up, mano a mano, the ninjas would first take heavy losses, but win in the end when their numbers were whittled down to a small number, as per the Law of Inverse Ninja Strength.

http://www.netjak.com/review.php/1199

However, should we be talking about pirates with a solid working of the Law of Inverse Ninja Strength (easily abbreviated LINS), then they can win easily. The trick is to set it up to take out all 1000 ninja at once. How the pirates actually do so is up to them, but should they take out all 1000 at once (which should be relatively easy, because they are quite weak and should go down with little effort), they come out on top.

Didn't this whole argument start with One Piece vs. Naruto?

(cough cough JUST KIDDING cough cough)

To hell with pirates and ninjas. Vikings will ravage your women and burn your village. And then they'll get super shit-faced and brag about it.

DarkTower, let's go over Vikings for a moment. They plunder, the pillage, they kill anyone in their way, they're boastful, they love getting drunk, they're known for being terrors of the seas...

Face it, man. They're Scandanavian pirates.

Pirates, no doubt. *watches One Piece*

Ninjas, but the real question is, where are the results for the Dead Rising contest?

If I had to pick, I'd say Ninjas. But we all know Shinigamis kick both their asses.

thanks for the link to "The Law of Inverse Ninja Strenght"...reading that just made my day :)

@DarkTower

FINALLY SOMEONE SHARE'S MY VIEW! Thank you Darktower, you made my day. Everyone at school laughs at me when I say I'm a Viking when they ask if I support Pirates or Ninja, that is, before I go beserk on them.

In the eternal debate of Ninjas vs Pirates, there's only one true outcome, and I'm here to announce it to you all.

Ninjas are great warriors of the night. They are the beasts who never lose sight, and always kill their target.

Pirates are the invincible monsters of the ocean. They are the salty dogs who can never be stopped. A true pirate can never, and will never die.

In this case, we realize, Pirates and Ninjas would be caught in an eternal battle, one with no victor whatsoever. So of course, we must pit them against each others at what is truly secondary to battle. Style.

Namely, who can get the chicks.

Ninjas are night stalkers. They are alone. They are disallowed the joys of love and daresay, lust. In fact, most Ninjas are eunuchs.

Pirates are the pimps of the sea. Their three objectives in life are simple. Rape, pillage, and plunder.

RAPE, pillage, and plunder.

Mr No-Cock vs Sea-Pimp?

Pirates win, end of story.

I look forward to killing all you pirate-lovers soon!

but waaaaaait!!!!.... what if the pirate is a former ninja?!

32_footsteps, answer me this. Who came first: Vikings or Pirates? Face it man. Pirates are Viking lite. They took what the Vikings had done centuries before and made it mainstream.

Vikings are more awesome because they're entire civilization revolved around beating ass. It wasn't just a few jack asses here and there that managed to steal a ship. These guys were raised to plunder and pillage, and practically invented the art of sailing the high seas in search of fucking you up. If you need further convincing, read Beowulf.

Xiath, we should make t-shirts.

When ninjas and pirates fight, we all win.

If you're talking about historically, the Roman empire was dealing with pirates centuries before the birth of Jesus (which is also before the founding of ninja clans). The ancient Greeks also recorded dealings with pirates, and they obviously predate the Roman empire. So non-Scandanavian pirates come first.

Moreover, where's your proof that Vikings aren't pirates? Seems like you're trying to tell me that the pirate element of Scandanavian society were the ruling class. Until they wussed out and became merchants (the part Viking fans always ignore - rather than rule the lands they subjugated, Vikings just set up shop and traded with folks).

At sea, the pirates win; on land, the ninjas win.

Cmon guys, it's gotta be Ninjas as only they have Real Ultimate Power!

One Piece FTW!

Luffy and the other Straw Hats from One Piece are hardly a pirates. Sure, they call themselves pirates, but that is mostly because Luffy is just too dense to really understand he is just a garden variety adventurer. Where is the pillaging? Where is the plundering? Where is the defiling of women? The Straw Hats don't do any of that. They do spend an awful lot of time doing good deeds and only have a bounty on their heads because they beat down an corrupt Marine officer.

One Piece has a very low opinion of pirates. Which enemies did Luffy have the hardest time with? Enel and CP9. A faux god and an assassin group in the employ of The World Government. Luffy had to go to a whole new level just to beat Blueno, and he took quite a few hits before going down. None of the pirates Luffy fought could handle one shot.

The actual pirates that Luffy went up against?

Alvida - One hit beat down.

Buggy the Clown - A whole two episodes.

Captain Kuro - Luffy got a few cuts, but took him down easy.

Don Krieg - Three whole episodes of actual fighting, also fairly easy battle.

Arlong - A bit tough, but still got whipped fairly easily.

Crocodile - Probably the hardest pirate he fought, but then again, his Shichibuka status dilutes the pirate status.

Bellamy - One punch KO.

Foxy the Silver Fox - A total wuss without the slow-beam.

One Piece doesn't exactly portray a very high opinion of pirates. The toughest guys in the series are Marine officers, like Admiral Aokiji. So, there you have it, because Luffy et al aren't actually pirates, they are immune to becoming weak and ineffectual without large numbers.

I'll give in that Vikings were pirates in a sense, but the two have so many differing characteristics that they're hardly synonomous.

Vikings revolutionized seafaring. They did it better, faster, and more efficiently than anyone had before or after them. They attacked in fleets, collectively destroying and killing everything that pissed them off. You just didn't see that kind of massive cooperative aggression in the common Pirate.

Honestly, it doesn't bother me that they eventually decided that they had pillaged enough and that there was more to be gained by becoming wealthy merchants, because in their golden days they could beat the shit out of anything that they wanted to, including rum drunk, piss poor hygiene Pirates. Hell, even their mythology was full bad ass gods. Odin, the god of wisdom, war, battle, and death, cut out his own eye. Read that again for the full effect.

ODIN CUT OUT HIS OWN EYE!

I believe Pirates have been thoroughly owned.

DarkTower, do you have any concept of history at all?

First off, the Vikings didn't revolutionize seafaring. The Romans did all that before the rise of the Vikings, and the Greeks did it before that. Check out how well the Romans were able to spread their influence across the Mediterranian Sea, and how many sea-based wars the Greeks got into and won. About the only thing the Vikings had going that the Romans and Greeks didn't was essentially relying on pirates to form their entire naval reserves.

As for the Vikings having naval skills unequalled before or since... you know that the navies of the three Scandanavian countries haven't been considered among the world's best in over six centuries, right? Meanwhile, piracy has kept going from 1350 BC (the first recorded mention of piracy, in an Egyptian law detailing how to deal with pirates) to the present day.

As for fleets... yeah, pretty much anyone who has ever attempted maritime battles has figured out the whole fleet concept. The Vikings did not come up with that one, trust me. And pirates did cooperate all the time - they've always had assorted empires and kingdoms of considerable power (Egyptian, Greek, Roman, French, Spanish, Portuguese, British...) coming after them. Pirate codes and agreements of codependence and cooperation were quite common. Tortuga and Port Royal in Jamaica didn't become pirate havens because they were constantly bickering - it's because pirates knew the value of cooperation.

Finally, for the Norse pantheon... you do realize that the entire pantheon was centered around a battle in which they were doomed to fail, right? Yeah, nothing is more badass than believing in a group of dieties that were going to get their asses kicked in. Sounds like the Vikings weren't just pirates, but fatalistic, like they were modern day seafaring Goths.

Yeah, the Vikings didn't do jack for seafaring. It's not like the invention of the long boat, which was small, agile, fast, able to maneuver through water a meter deep, and able to carry a crew of up to 100 men wasn't a large factor in their ability to own the seas.

Also, the Viking age began in the 790s, 5 centuries before the first mention of Pirates. Oh, and if I tend to exaggerate a little bit, it's because we're having a nerds argument. Exaggeration is permissable.

Wow, the gods were doomed to fail and all of existence to dissolve into chaos? That's pretty bleak. It's almost as grim as a lot of other culture's predictions on THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD. Every faith that has ever been has some prediction about the end of the world. To have what ever deity destroyed by the opposing forces of evil and chaos as a metaphor for the destruction of the world is not unusual, so that's not really a surprise. Besides, despite the fact that these mythical beings knew the outcome of the final battle, they still fought like hell. Odin gets swallowed whole! What more awesome way to die is there?