Picture it: top secret game design manual found in dumpster outside big game publisher's HQ
by Vladimir Cole 
{ Oct 3rd 2006 at 1:15AM }
- A: Lara Croft Tomb Raider
- B: Ridge Racer
- C: Auto Assault
- D: $mad profit$
Previously: Console ownership; Fanboys fight harder; The first paradox of gaming.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Concerned @ Oct 3rd 2006 1:19AM
WHERE IS MY GUN
NETNAVI @ Oct 3rd 2006 1:24AM
OKAY!!!!!!! WE GET IT!!!
You like your graphs and charts! No need to shovel it into every other damn post! It was funny for the first couple of times but now it's just dumb.
I swear you must be from /B/ cuz this is some random shit here.
Mrook @ Oct 3rd 2006 1:25AM
wow man, quit spamming this website up with your mildly amusing crap
Happy @ Oct 3rd 2006 1:28AM
Maybe you should make a graph about how people who comment on Joystiq love to bitch about absolutely everything.
Einhanderkiller @ Oct 3rd 2006 1:32AM
IIRC, Auto Assault != Mad profit
Ritz @ Oct 3rd 2006 1:33AM
Good one.
vc @ Oct 3rd 2006 1:33AM
Because it lacked "Hot Babes," Ein. You misread the graph.
Einhanderkiller @ Oct 3rd 2006 1:37AM
Ooooohhhh. I get it now.
Fisher @ Oct 3rd 2006 2:03AM
Yes! Please stop posting these graphs!
I would understand if this were your blog and people came willingly to read it; you'd be free to post whatever tickled your fancy!
But, no, this is mandatory reading. Every day myself and thousands of others are forced, by penalty of law, to read it. Oh, and if we could just skip posts that we didn't like! Wouldn't that be something? Alas, we are forced, by law again, to read every post. And if we don't like something? Oh, if we could just let it go and not say a word. Alas, we're forced, once more by law, to simply comment away about how much we don't like it.
It's understandable, mind you, 'cause this is all forced by law.
m3mnoch @ Oct 3rd 2006 2:06AM
personally, i think these are totally cool. vlad, you should put in the homage link (http://indexed.blogspot.com/) in each one, tho. that might cut back on all the dumbass comments.
"wow man, quit spamming this website up with your mildly amusing crap"
heh. i love irony.
m3mnoch.
GalileoAce @ Oct 3rd 2006 2:07AM
Oh come on, the graphs are fun. Isn't that what playing games is all about? Having some fun?
If that's not the case I must've chosen the wrong pasttime... Either that or someone take things just a bit too seriously...
Hmm that last part could apply to nearly everyone who comments on Joystiq..
Aero @ Oct 3rd 2006 4:33AM
Mindless... pointless... lifeless... and just plain dumb. This spam is unnecessary and not even very clever.
AcE @ Oct 3rd 2006 2:49AM
I'm not too fond of the whole graph thing either. I mean I'm glad that joystiq doesn't take itself too seriously, but these just really don't do anything for me. Please, Vlad stick to what you do best.
super88cloud @ Oct 3rd 2006 3:16AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vv-K3Pc-ZA
this looks cool so i bringed here
DG @ Oct 3rd 2006 3:37AM
Funny graphs are super funny.
Awesome!
? ? ? ? @ Oct 3rd 2006 3:45AM
Vlad can post what he wants and people can disapprove of what he posts. It's a two way street kids.
BPM? @ Oct 3rd 2006 3:47AM
I forget who coined the term, but...
Slow reader day.
ill trooper @ Oct 3rd 2006 3:51AM
I can't get excited this time around. See you tomorrow.
Ive Been Jipped @ Oct 3rd 2006 4:19AM
"I forget who coined the term, but...
Slow reader day."
Why? What is it that the readers here are misunderstanding that would make them slow? The "slow reader day" was funny the first time because it was in context, shame all the clowns with their second-hand jokes who picked up on the phrase can't understand that.
lung @ Oct 3rd 2006 4:20AM
Vlad,
Save this uninspired, mindless crap for your own personal blog space and stop spamming a well reputed gaming news website.
Seriously, this has got to stop. It never was funny and each graph is getting embarrassingly worse.
limerick @ Oct 3rd 2006 4:31AM
The humor was lost way back with your first graph. Seriously.
Infil @ Oct 3rd 2006 4:38AM
#9 - Fisher WINS the intarweb.
Give that man 3 stars.
#22 Aero (and others in this thread complaining about spamming) - Here's a website for you to check out.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=pot+calling+the+kettle+black
Superdotman @ Oct 3rd 2006 4:43AM
Too much pointless stuff gets annoying, but posts with 16 words hardly qualify as "too much". Keep doing these, as long as you keep them infrequent and clever. Or frequent and extremely clever. And yeah, you should post a link to Indexed on every post, not just to the first two posts which themselves contain the link.
EnLiven @ Oct 3rd 2006 4:49AM
My god internet people like to moan!
theCardinal @ Oct 3rd 2006 1:52PM
Will someone please fire Vlad?
Burnt Meatloaf @ Oct 3rd 2006 6:32AM
So, where does playability exist? Outside the circles of influence?
jd @ Oct 3rd 2006 5:51AM
Wow~ For those that are opposed to a little graph / joke about gaming, over-reaction is the word for y'all.
First, it's a joke. Second, it's about gaming. It's not inappropriate for a gaming site. If it's a slow news day, why not put something amusing to read on the site? I'd rather have a little joke related to gaming then not having anything updated on the page... Some people are way too serious.
O_o @ Oct 3rd 2006 6:02AM
insightful/10?
Xavier @ Oct 3rd 2006 6:15AM
I likes 'em!
Cdaghostie @ Oct 3rd 2006 6:17AM
these are good but please don't post the exact same chart almost right after the last
MJG @ Oct 3rd 2006 6:37AM
How about making a graph about how a joke gets less funny each time you read it?
Jay @ Oct 3rd 2006 6:59AM
i don't know how or why but everytime you post one of these I laugh my face off! seriously! how could anyone have thought that a bit of paper with a shitly drawn graph could be a funny cultural revolution!
Basically they're bollocks. Can someone fire Cole for the day and increase C. Grants wage?
Anthony @ Oct 3rd 2006 7:00AM
Wow, theres so much good news to post and new content about the PS3 rapidly coming out and you choose to spam...
Kotaku here I come
Azerael @ Oct 3rd 2006 7:00AM
"Well reputed gaming news website".
It's a gaming blog, people. Gaming news is just one of the things they happen to post. :D
"A typical blog combines text, images, and links to other blogs, web pages, and other media related to its topic." - Wikipedia
bandit @ Oct 3rd 2006 7:15AM
If you people would take the time to think for one nanosecond you would realize that between 4 graphs you have collectively posted over 250 comments, making this a successful series. That being said, if you F-ing idiots want it to go away then STOP F-ING POSTING COMMENTS!!! Im not saying anything good or bad about the series itself, but for the idiots who continue to complain there is a simple solution. Stop posting, ignore these posts, and you will never see them again. Dont feed the bears. God, you people are a bunch of F-ing idiots...
Zachary Hinchliffe @ Oct 3rd 2006 8:23AM
You know what? I hate these graphs and have no sense of humor! Let's send death threats to Vlad!
Brian Hines @ Oct 3rd 2006 7:22AM
That graph is labeled incorrectly. Each main set is given a letter and then intersection's are given a multi-letter name with a symbole. For instance, Big Guns would be A, Hot Babes would be B, and Fast Cars would be C. Tomb Raider would be A n C, with n substituting as an intersection symbol. Ridge Racer would be B n C. Full Auto would be A n C. Mad Profits would be A n B n C. Teh duh!!!!!11
Matt @ Oct 3rd 2006 7:40AM
Oh, wow.
. @ Oct 3rd 2006 8:02AM
you had a couple of good points early on. Now your posts are just crap.
dstrek @ Oct 3rd 2006 8:04AM
wtf where are the ps3 comments?
Jonathan @ Oct 3rd 2006 8:12AM
Now, folks, Joystiq has the right to post this sort of thing and, while Joystiq readers to tend to complain far too much in my opinion, they have the right to do so, as ostensibly granted by Joystiq. My opinion is that, yes, this is a decidedly lame rip-off of Indexed (http://indexed.blogspot.com) and it lacks any comedic timing, modicum of originality, and dexerity. Dragging on a joke that's not even one's own to the point where the humor has been almost entirely wrung out is a sad act.
I shall now depart, lest I get dragged further into the morass.
Josh @ Oct 3rd 2006 8:13AM
Wow... not only did I think that got old suddenly and violently, but most everyone else who's bothered to post did too.
You have GOT to stop posting when you're high man... it's just got to stop.
kmo @ Oct 3rd 2006 8:33AM
these graphs are really lame, they dont even make sense, though i still prefer this community to kotaku, at least you guys bitch about stuff like this that is actually stupid, not constantly bitching about every little piece of Ps3 info that get posted....oops, you do to, ah well, you both suck.
gok @ Oct 3rd 2006 8:37AM
You don't like it, because you don't get it. How does it feel to be stupid?
Taiso @ Oct 3rd 2006 8:50AM
you need one large circle around the rest entitled "Shitty Games"
krizage @ Oct 3rd 2006 8:49AM
The reason sites like joystiq and engadget are useful is because they serve as a clearing house for the information I would normally comb other sites to find. At joystiq I can see what is out there, and I can read more if I so choose.
The occasional editorial is great, but please post items you would actually offer a star for posting. If the site ceases to do what people need for it to do, they will stop visiting.
This is "series" is a waste of our time.
Pomme @ Oct 3rd 2006 8:57AM
My god, why is everyone crying about these graphs ?
You don't like it ? : fine, some do !
You want a game news site ? : Go somewhere else or START YOUR OWN !
You want to criticize the label or the form or else ? Go buy some sense of humor !
Why are you always and ALWAYS bitching about every subject every day and every post ?!
dark_inchworm @ Oct 3rd 2006 8:59AM
Picture it: Joystiq before Vladimir Cole.
It was nice here, once upon a time.
AirIntake @ Oct 3rd 2006 9:14AM
Picture it: Joystiq before people like dark_inchworm started bitching about every little thing that they disliked.
It was nice here, once upon a time.
krizage @ Oct 3rd 2006 9:26AM
This question becomes kind of bigger than this particular post Pomme. I would hope the powers that be here at Joystiq appreciate all kinds of feedback. The variety of opinions make this a discussion and a collaborative enterprise. If everyone thought all the posts were perfect, there would be no need to comment. I post when I like something, I post when I don't…. sometimes I don’t post at all.
If this is a great post, defend it... don't berate the people are pressing for a little more depth and quality.