Uwe Boll to make BloodRayne 2, anger more gamers

by Kevin Kelly { Oct 4th 2006 at 11:15AM }

Someone, for the love of every video game ever made into a movie, PLEASE stop Uwe Boll. We mean physically stop the guy. Find out where he's shooting, go out there, and take the camera away from him. Be sure to destroy any writing utensils or anything he might use to draw with as well.

Why? Because he's recently announced that he's making BloodRayne 2. That's right, a sequel to what people have been calling one of the worst films of the past few years. Don't forget, Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith came out in the last few years and so did Aeon Flux, Elektra, Son of the Mask, and The Pacifier.

The movie, like the first one, will no doubt have nothing to do with the game, but will have everything to do with sucking. That's despite the presence of Kristanna Loken, who really needs to take Uwe's number out of her cell phone.

Tags: BloodRayne, Kristanna Loken, movie, Uwe Boll, UweBoll

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

Ive Been Jipped @ Oct 4th 2006 11:25AM

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!

Chris @ Oct 4th 2006 11:20AM

Had to get that pointless Star Wars jab in. Congradulations.

crono141 @ Oct 4th 2006 11:23AM

OMFG ANTI-STARWARS!!!11!

LOL, sorry.

You know, there is an easy way to stop Uwe Boll. Don't see his movies. When everything he makes starts to tank very badly (like this movie will pull in 75 total dollars at the box office), nobody will let him make a movie again.

Zero @ Oct 4th 2006 11:24AM

Careful what you say here, Uwe may show up and challenge you to a boxing match, or some other contest as long as he's sure he'll beat you.

KilgoreTrout XL @ Oct 4th 2006 11:26AM

I'm all for the Star Wars jab. Ep. 3 was terrible.

LaughingTarget @ Oct 4th 2006 11:28AM

You forgot to mention the other two Star Wars prequels.

Well, probably ended up starting the production process on this before Germany closed the tax loophole. I think Germany has an Ex Post Facto clause in their legal system like the US does. Even though the loophole is closed, they cannot apply to any film already under production prior to the closure. We'll just have to deal with a few more years of this crap, unless Boll finds another country to ply is scam in.

aZn_1080p @ Oct 4th 2006 11:28AM

Seriosuly, who cares, blood rayne is a garbage franchise anyway, this guy only makes adaptations of games that already suck. Now if this guy makes a MGS, FF, or DMC movie, I'll be at his door with my crew. And unfortuantely for Boll, we're not like the pathetic nerds who tried to step to him in the boxing ring.

Bob @ Oct 4th 2006 11:33AM

azn_1080p -

I seriously doubt that. The use of the word "azn" in their name is the penultimate in geekiness. Anyone who uses azn to distinguish themselves as asian is probably one of those skinny guys who look up to Cloud or Tidus becuase they're "proof" that skinny nerds can defeat the great evil and carry around swords twice their body weight.

teknomusik @ Oct 4th 2006 11:33AM

#2: I didn't know anyone saw his movies in the first place...

JShock @ Oct 4th 2006 6:36PM

What is Academy Award winner Ben Kingsley doing anywhere near this thing?

32_Footsteps @ Oct 4th 2006 11:33AM

Remember, folks - Uwe is quite willing to kick your ass if he catches you trying to stop him from doing more damage to the video game industry than a random anti-video game crusading lawyer. Thus, if you are going to do this, remember to be like the ninja - stealthy, effective, and carrying sharp weaponry.

LaughingTarget @ Oct 4th 2006 11:37AM

JShock -

This is called "I am running out of money and no one wants me in their movies anymore, so I'll take up scholck projects where the director wants to put the words Academy Awards on the production poster/advertisement/DVD case".

You'd be surprised just how many Academy Award winners take a huge plunge in their careers since most of them are one-character actors, and those character-types just aren't popular anymore.

ViciousVariable @ Oct 4th 2006 11:39AM

Sony, Xbox, and Nintendo fanboys can all agree:

Uwe Boll is the film making equivalent to a black hole . He's a giant singularity of suckitude.

Thankfully, we can all unite over this one very obvious fact.

crono141 @ Oct 4th 2006 11:43AM

Bob:

WTF man? I know its cool to pick on the rabid sony fanboys, but for once, he didn't say anything rabid sony fanboy-ish.

Can't we all just get along when it comes to bashing Uwe Boll and his crappy movies?

Enycma @ Oct 4th 2006 11:46AM

This Guy makes the "Super Mario Bros: The Movie" look like a Masterpiece and "Double Dragon" like a good flick.

Sean @ Oct 4th 2006 11:50AM

What the hell, is this Kotaku now? Idiotic posts like this are not good for Joystiq's reputation as a mature gaming blog.

chris @ Oct 4th 2006 11:48AM

Damn you Joystiq! You said this movie will involve sucking and Kristanna Loken, and now that you've put those two together, I have a urge to see this movie even though I know it won't be at all what I imagine!

m3mnoch @ Oct 4th 2006 11:59AM

uwe.

1) i think your movies suck.

2) i would pay money to step into a boxing ring with you.

3) mma gloves. no headgear.

4) please re-read number 2 again.

xoxoxo,
m3mnoch

CaptNink @ Oct 4th 2006 11:59AM

Bashing Star Wars is so last minute.

Way to stay 'fresh' guys.

delldude420 @ Oct 4th 2006 12:46PM

dont forget hes making the hitman movie as well as postal

Dominic @ Oct 4th 2006 12:11PM

Uwe better get a clue and show as many scenes of Kristanna Loken naked as possible in 90 minutes otherwise, this movie will suck just as hard as the first one did.

Conrad @ Oct 5th 2006 7:51AM

Uwe Boll has no business making movies, considering that his last two 'game' movies were intestinal scrapings. He knows nothing of good cinema. Pannign camera shots of seven different people holding guns? I was halway expecting ther to be stats underneath them, or at least a health bar. House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark have only proven one fact; video game movies are going to suck and will continue to suck as long as they are made. video games are a wild and hard to maintain fantasy. They aren't books; no matter how many times I read the same book it won't change, regardless to the idea tha I read it upside down or backwards. A game changes to it's player, and the same should be said for the movies. Leave them alone, stop making them altogether, and thank that crappy movies don't kill gaming franchises.

Tom @ Oct 4th 2006 12:12PM

Am I the only person in the world that enjoyed BloodRayne?
...
...
...

I guess so.

Matthew @ Oct 4th 2006 12:16PM

Since when was it cool to DEFEND the Star Wars prequels? Man, you people need to lighten up.

Drop A Load @ Oct 4th 2006 12:22PM

I can't wait not to see this.

KR @ Oct 4th 2006 12:25PM

"Now if this guy makes a MGS, FF, or DMC movie, I'll be at his door with my crew."

azn1080p, The only crew you have is your kid brother and Crash Bandicoot stuffed animal. Besides, why make a movie about one of THOSE games when he could make a FAR SUPERIOR movie about an XBox 360 or Wii game?

AirIntake @ Oct 4th 2006 12:24PM

While the Star Wars prequels were no where near as good as the originals, they weren't bad enough to be compared with the garbage that was Aeon Flux.

Jackie Chan @ Oct 4th 2006 12:30PM

"This Guy makes the "Super Mario Bros: The Movie" look like a Masterpiece and "Double Dragon" like a good flick."

In all fairness, those movies were atleast a good laugh. This guy doesn't even have camp in his flicks. They're just plain unwatchable.

razer @ Oct 4th 2006 12:32PM

Yea! WTF! Don't mess with my beloved Star Wars! And don't for a minute put it into the same sentence as Aeon Flux or anything Uwe has done. The originals are classics and I will give you EP1 was not that good but EP2 and 3 kick ass and is a sci-fi fans wet dream! (Note to self: Never invite Kevin Kelly over for movie night)

Lou D @ Oct 4th 2006 12:36PM

I liked the BloodRayne movie and so did several of my friends and incase any of you missed it, we do get to see the top of Kristanna Loken. That alone qualifies it as a good movie. The special effects needed some computer editing to make them look more realistic but what do you expect with that budget.

I look at the movie as a prequel to the video game. She is a vampire afterall.

The ZeroCorpse @ Oct 4th 2006 12:40PM

The only humorous thing I get out of this thread is that azn_1080p has a "crew".

All I could think when I read that is "Whabuhuh? There are people who like you in real life?"

aZn_1080p @ Oct 4th 2006 12:41PM

KR, before running your mouth, check the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yaciX5hDTvI
thats me and my crew... say what you want about my liking PS3 better, but to say you or Uwe would mess with my crew is ridiculous.

oe @ Oct 4th 2006 12:46PM

A lobotomized chimp could write better dialogue and direct a better film than George Lucas at this point (includes all three prequels). And Uwe Boll has wet dreams about being good enough to let a fat old George Lucas punch him in the face.

Wandering Wordsman @ Oct 4th 2006 12:50PM

Have the guys here bashing his movies even seen more than one Uwe Boll movie? It's suddenly become popular to just bash Uwe Boll on internet forums and a lot of the people criticizing him haven't even seen the movies they are criticizing.

While his movies definitely aren't 'good', they are certainly fun to watch. It's fun to see a movie made by a guy who you can tell does whatever he wants and whatever he feels is cool. He comes up with some crazy stuff sometimes that you'd never see anywhere else (like that wierd montage of blood and guts at the end of BloodRayne). I'm not saying his movies are awesome or anything, but I don't want to turn them off when I'm watching them either. I can think of a lot of movies that are worse than his.

Usedtabe @ Oct 4th 2006 1:05PM

Yeah Azn, cuz it takes a real good fighter to take on 2 lonely guys with a whole crew carrying a machete and guns. Oh yeah, your crew is so bad-ass. /Sarcasm.

The funny thing about that video is that it proves how lame your "crew" is. The roles could easily be reversed, and you and one friend are alone against 30 "g's" with knives and guns. What would you say then?

m3mnoch @ Oct 4th 2006 1:11PM

dude. i think azn is awesome. personally, i think he's one of the most entertaining commentators on joystiq.

keep in mind, when i say that, i'm laughing AT him. not WITH him. he's funny.

oh, and as a side note: something i learned a long, long time ago is that people with "crews" are usually the worst fighters in the world. (hence the reason they need a crew and some self esteem.) and, their crew shuffles out, head down when their fearless leader goes down like a sack of potatoes. allegiance turns to embarrassment.

there's a big difference between real life and movies.

m3mnoch.

aZn_1080p @ Oct 4th 2006 1:15PM

Usedtabe, I didnt say we were all good fighters, but I can tell you a lot of us are VERY good 1on1 fighters, coming up where we did you had to be. And I guarantee all of us could take the nerds who fought Boll so far in any sort of fight. Those guys were pathetic.

And yeah, the tables could be turned, but in reality they almost never are... we roll DEEP, because we have to in our neck of the woods, something a few of us learned the hard way.

Snurp @ Oct 4th 2006 1:14PM

@34

I've seen more than one of his movies, and the problem seems to be this. Now when we all play a game, watch a movie, or anything, for most of us there is this moment where we think, "Man, this could be cool if..." and we imagine our own "improved" version of whatever it is we are doing. However, for us it never becomes reality. For Uwe Boll, this block between the thoughts in his head and the real world doesn't exist. Watching his movies gives me the feeling that a Uwe Boll script consists of him thinking, "This would teh r4wk!!!1" and then trying to translate his random imaginings directly into movie form. But that doesn't work. If the entire world thought like Uwe Boll, I'm sure we would love his movies. But a movie released in theatres is a movie made to be shown to others beside yourself, and Uwe needs to realize this. Or we should just shoot him off into space. I personally don't care either way.

m3mnoch @ Oct 4th 2006 1:21PM

i should also mention, on another side note. if azn were chuckie, wouldn't he have jane-finch.com in his sig instead of the "sony defense force?"

m3mnoch.

virtuadept @ Oct 4th 2006 1:29PM

I actually liked the Bloodrayne movie. It was soooo bad I was laughing my ass off the whole thing. Taken as a serious action movie it was pants, but taken as a comedy? GOLDEN!

? X ? O @ Oct 4th 2006 1:47PM

@ azn 1080

In that YouTube video, were you the little kid on the basketball court?

That's exactly how I pictured you.

aZn_1080p @ Oct 4th 2006 2:14PM

m3mnoch - I am not Chuckie, Chuckie is my boy and I'm in the video, never claimed to be him.

m3mnoch @ Oct 4th 2006 2:47PM

azn. you are? that's cool. which one are you?

m3mnoch.

aZn_1080p @ Oct 4th 2006 2:48PM

STFU m3mnoch - Being molested as a child was not a fun event. Sony was the only one that made the bad people go away. We spent time together and we fell in love. If loving Sony isn't right then neither is performal anal on other dudes.

dsub @ Oct 4th 2006 3:09PM

I don't mean to sound racist, or spark a racial debate but does anyone else see the irony (or humor to be honest) in a Asian guy rapping and repeatedly saying the word "nigga". Not only does this make me laugh, but my good friend here who is black watched that video as well...he thought it was hilarious.

I cannot take someone like this "chuckie" idiot seriously. After watching that video azn_1080p, if that is your crew, you are in trouble. I would laugh at that guy if he showed up to my front door wanting to start a fight. Reminds me of Malibu's Most Wanted.

aZn_1080p @ Oct 4th 2006 3:16PM

m3mnoch - I'm the guy in the sleeveless black tshirt.

For the rest of you who keep up with the identity theft - every time you do it you show how pathetic you are. Like I said before, you may not like my opinions or my attitude, but you will never see me stoop to personal insults or identity theft.

n8dogg @ Oct 4th 2006 3:28PM

.....Robin Williams? Is that you?

Usedtabe @ Oct 4th 2006 3:49PM

Azn, what are you talking about. I always see you writing things like "and anyone who responds to my post let me go ahead and call you a dumbass" and all other sorts of foul language. How can you say you don't resort to personal insults?

Although, the identity theft part is lame, but slightly funny

m3mnoch @ Oct 4th 2006 3:50PM

um. there are like, 10 guys in that video with black sleeveless shirts. a little more specific maybe?

the reason i'm asking, is:
if it's you, well, you've got no issues claiming it. no one will care. you might even earn a bit of "street cred." (tho, not likely with video game geeks.)

however, if you stake a claim to a body and it's not you? well. i would think that a quick email to chris over at jane-finch.com could straighten that right out.

and, again, someone who has the balls to claim that as "his crew" should also feel enough ownership and want to represent enough to put jane-finch.com in his sig.

of course, it could be that you just may care more about sony than jane and fitch. i dunno.

m3mnoch.