Games you won't see on the Wii
by Kevin Kelly 
{ Oct 11th 2006 at 9:00AM }
This video makes us sad because that $5/Hour game looks like it could be a real winner. Although for sheer enjoyability you'd have to go with Nuclear Holocaust. The Japanese do love their weird and wacky games, so don't be surprised when Airport Security actually makes it to a shelf near you. Video is embedded after the jump, and has one tiny NSFW scene.
What are some real life activities that you'd love to see on the Wii?
[Thanks Daniel]
Heads up: due to some really lazy code, the video will load below, although you won't see anything telling you this. Just click the white space below this paragraph to start the vid.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Franky Digital @ Oct 11th 2006 9:07AM
Well, seeing as how SNK is bringing an H-game to the DS, I'm sure it won't be long before Obgyn becomes a real game: tentacles and all.
Daphodils @ Oct 11th 2006 9:11AM
Game that should be on the wii
Myst
mi rite?!? lole
oh and video wont work for me.
Natiahs @ Oct 11th 2006 9:17AM
Brabie's Horse Grooming. Hold the Wiimote like a comb and brush that mane. Sooooooo relaxing.
JET
Eggman @ Oct 11th 2006 9:23AM
WTH does OBGYN mean?
kokernutz @ Oct 11th 2006 10:17AM
OMG, the airport security comment was high-larious.
JackDangers @ Oct 11th 2006 9:27AM
OBGYN = OBstetrician, GYNecologist
Chapu @ Oct 11th 2006 9:28AM
Obstetrics and Gynecology. Basically, it's the guy lookin' at your moms vagina that isn't your father.
WhaleMenacer @ Oct 11th 2006 9:34AM
One of my trusted sources in Japan told me a while back that Oral Sex was a a prototype game largely considered to be the greatest creation since Pokemon. However, due to issues with the Wiimote exploding on contact with saliva, it's been shelved. It seems electronics and moisture don't mix. Let's all hope this game makes it. Lord knows WhaleMenace and TheThirdStrongest are dying for it.
BlindsideDork @ Oct 11th 2006 9:35AM
Wow...that was great! I needed a good laugh!
OtakuCODE @ Oct 11th 2006 9:38AM
Isometrics. Exergaming that HURTS.
KAZ @ Oct 11th 2006 9:41AM
599 US DOLLA
Trylks @ Oct 11th 2006 9:46AM
Q: What are some real life activities that you'd love to see on the Wii?
A: None, I like to make real life activities in the real life or not to make them. If I was interested in being a surgeon or a lawyer I would have studied medicine or laws. If I want to play football or any other sport I go to the street and play that sport with a real ball and real people. If I want to cook something I cook something (and I get real food when doing that), and if I want to have a dog I will have a REAL dog. I prefer games like zelda, metroid, starfox, etc.
32_Footsteps @ Oct 11th 2006 9:59AM
Games you'll never see on the Wii, but could be done:
Trombone Hero
Rez 2, with the nunchuck attachment as Trance Vibrator
Mr. T's Fool Toss
Cooking Mama: Hannibal Lecter Edition (comes bundled with Trauma Center: Autopsy)
Ninjas vs. Pirates - the Final Showdown
Extreme Ironing
BarneySplat (I can't be the only one who remembers this)
Keep The Remote Away From Your Spouse
Terry Tickle
Jules @ Oct 11th 2006 10:14AM
hehe that ouija board one was class!!
Matt @ Oct 12th 2006 11:28AM
Stand Up Comedian:
"Crikey! I've been stung by a sting-ray and I'm dead!"
Hahaha, that guy's going to hell.
Andy Cabaniss @ Oct 11th 2006 10:44AM
Furniture delivery team. LOL that what i do and it would be awesome to go around deliverying furniture and get points on how much you delivery completly.
Andy S. @ Oct 11th 2006 11:28AM
Wow, just look at all those artsy Soho apartments and neo-mod haircuts.
This has to be somebody's film school project.
Daniel @ Oct 11th 2006 11:50AM
Just out of curiousity, where is the NSFW part? I think I may have missed that.
Anonymouse Rep @ Oct 11th 2006 12:06PM
NSFW - Well, there was one use of the word "sh!t" and then the whole Bus Pervert with the guy masturbating under his jacket thing - those kind of things are generally considered NSFW.
And I'll have you know that it's now $5.25 per hour for the "Would you like fries with that?" job - that's what my daugher makes working after school and weekends at Mickey D's.
I think that the whole seppeku segment (hari-kari) would have been even funnier if they'd had Ken Kutagari doing it - which he's probably contemplating anyway - even if the guy in the video didn't quite do it right.
strider_mt2k @ Oct 11th 2006 12:19PM
Mario's Hammer Throw!
Mario Frisbee Golf Advance Tour X-treme!
Rodeo roundup!
number40one @ Oct 11th 2006 12:22PM
Wii Holy Sacrament Bestowal Simulator.
...you gotta put it on the tongue juuusst right...
Gabe @ Oct 11th 2006 12:34PM
I just finished laughing out loud for 5 minutes straight! This was hysterical!
hydrogen @ Oct 11th 2006 7:42PM
Enema Challenge
Vaccination World
Dizzy Bat 2007
Let's Stab People!
Knife, Gun, and Sword Techniques for Dummies!
nimby @ Oct 11th 2006 12:57PM
Okay Nintendo you have the ground laid now pick up the tools and get to work.
dvddesign @ Oct 11th 2006 1:35PM
Virtual Hobo. Missions vary from begging for change with the Wii-mote, and digging through dumpsters for aluminum cans.
Virtual Dominatrix. Wii-mote is a whip/paddle/leash, and make your own game. Pick from different avatars to torture and humiliate, from Link, Mario, Kirby, Samus, Ice Climbers or Donkey Kong.
Petting a dog or cat. Take care of the neediest creature ever as you care for your new pet. It'll never eat, sleep, or need to go to the bathroom, but it does require your constant attention via petting. FOR HOURS ON END.
Robots. Not a licensed game based on the movie, but a robot simulator. Simulate manufacturing line conditions while building everything from refrigerators to cars. You're rated on your precision and speed, otherwise, you're decomissioned to be an exhibit at a the local state fair.
Cleaning Up! Clean your house, then go to work cleaning other people's homes. Earn cash to buy upgrades and purchase new rags, cleaning agents, and vacuum attachments. Grow your business enough to get your own car and not have to take the bus to work!
Murder Simulator. Jack Thompson's dream game come to life. Except that this is a rail-shooter style game, and your character only has a penknife and short stubby baby arms so your range is limited.
Paul Gale @ Oct 11th 2006 11:23PM
OBstetrician GYNecologist The Game, only for Nintendo Wii. Haha, I'm sure there are thousands of crazy ideas that gamers have out there that could take advantage of the Wii Remote. And...I bet that some of those games will come to fruition by some lesser known Japanese developers. I'd like a suntan lotion rubbing game for hot models. :)
Paul Gale
1up.com
SupaDave @ Oct 12th 2006 10:24AM
Rayman is halfway there. They have the "Rabitts don't milk cows" mini-game. You have to hold the wii-mote upright and motion up and down to milk the cow.
I think they use the same mini-game technique in Lara Croft: Poon Raider. She get's captured and you have to "milk" the bad-guy to escape. Fune time for all.
I want a Spaceballs game. Holding the wii-mote like your "schwartz" sounds like a gay ol' time.
NDstruct @ Oct 11th 2006 2:43PM
I'm personally thinking Wii Alcoholic. Imagine the fun as you move from level to level. The stealth of sneaking drinks at work and hiding it from friends and family. The drunk driving simulator. Oh No! It's a DUI check point! Use the Wii Remote and Nunchuk to try and pass the sobriety test. You failed you say? Better use the wii remote to wipe away your tears cause you're going to jail. This is just the begining, follow your life through many more levels of downward spirals. Can you survive on the street? I hope you have learned to master the wii remote and nunchuk, because you'll need them for the pan handling and "Bum Fights" mini games...coming holiday 2006.
jron @ Oct 11th 2006 4:46PM
I'm still holding out for Super Mario Circle Jerk
Psaakyrn @ Oct 11th 2006 4:52PM
To all those talking about horse/pet care..
I can't believe you all forgot about Nintendogs already. So some of these isn't THAT far-fetched.
Maverick @ Oct 12th 2006 12:53PM
"Basically, it's the guy lookin' at your moms vagina that isn't your father."
What Chapu doesn't realize is that there are a lot of guys looking at a lot of these posters' mothers' vaginas...and they are not all OBGYNs.
Ouch...
Jamie @ Oct 13th 2006 11:34AM
I think an alien autopsy game would be fun. I would say they could have a CSI type game but a real autopsy would probably be too gross.
Another simulation maybe could be some kind of fashion design you have a model and you create makeup/hair styles and material and types of clothes. I don't know if I would play it though I was just thinking of Poser which is sort of that.
They need to make a mat so it can track foot movements too I think some kind of karate simulation would be interesting.
Beesnipe @ Oct 16th 2006 8:19AM
put all these activities together in one Wii title, and BOOM!!
"Wii best seller" *over 5 million sold
This video was hilarious