The algebra of wows, inspired by Xbox 360 HD-DVD dancers

by Ludwig Kietzmann { Oct 11th 2006 at 8:17PM }

Clearly, the parallels to be drawn between high-definition home entertainment and in-your-face dance showdowns are too numerous to list, but Microsoft chooses to highlight some of the more obvious ones in their commercial for the Xbox 360 HD-DVD drive (embedded in the post, natch). Depicting a rhythmically isolated DVD guy facing off against six HD-DVD dancers, it's a technology comparison competely devoid of technology and filled to the brim with bodies gyrating in largely unimaginable ways.

With the upscaled DVD dancers apparently disqualified from the event, HD-DVD soundly trounces plain 'ole DVD, its vibrant victory converted into a catchy and hilariously non-sensical "six times the resolution, six times the wow." Yes, really. Just how much is that, exactly? The answer is, quite sadly, after the break.

[via NeoGAF]

Let's break it down.

1 x HD-DVD = 6 x WOW
1 x WOW = (250 x SWEET) + (160 x AWESOME) = 1 x DVD
1 x SWEET = (120 x GOLLY) + (15 x OH)
1 x AWESOME = (90 x GEE WHIZ) + (5 x OH)
1 x GOLLY = (500 x ANTI-MEH)
1 x GEE WHIZ = (800 x ANTI-MEH)
1 x OH = (100 x ANTI-MEH)

The ANTI-MEH is considered the base unit for measuring entertainment. Therefore:

1 x SWEET = 120 x (500 x ANTI-MEH) + 15 x (100 x ANTI-MEH)
= (60 000 x ANTI-MEH) + (1500 x ANTI-MEH)
= 61 500 x ANTI-MEH

1 x AWESOME = 90 x (800 x ANTI-MEH) + 5 x (100 x ANTI-MEH)
= (72 000 x ANTI-MEH) + (500 x ANTI-MEH)
= 72 500 x ANTI-MEH

1 x WOW = 250 x (61 500 x ANTI-MEH) + 160 x (72 500 x ANTI-MEH)
= (15 375 000 x ANTI-MEH) + (11 600 000 x ANTI-MEH)
= 26 975 000 x ANTI-MEH

And finally:

6 x WOW = 6 x (26 975 000 x ANTI-MEH)
= 161 850 000 x ANTI-MEH

And there you have it. HD-DVD's entertainment value is 161,850,000 ANTI-MEHs. Why Microsoft didn't include that in the slogan is beyond us, especially in light of Blu-Ray's upcoming "twice the holy crap" campaign.

Tags: Blu-Ray, HD, HD Movies, HD-DVD, HdMovies, HDTV, King Kong, KingKong, Xbox 360 HD-DVD, Xbox360Hd-dvd

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

smellslikepie @ Oct 11th 2006 8:29PM

Aaaw, I was wanting a mention :p. Ha, did anyone else notice how the first guy who came on for the HD-DVD group did almost nothing? He did that flip at the beginning then spent the rest of the time looking 'hardcore'. Whenever there is an extreme long shot he's stood there with his arms crossed!

Spuky @ Oct 11th 2006 8:32PM

ill say that i had a few anti-mehs reading your post

bleh @ Oct 11th 2006 8:38PM

o, its actually a commerical in a commercial. anyone else notice the close up of those shoes numerous times? well, in case you missed it, buy adidas.

bleh @ Oct 11th 2006 8:40PM

on second thought, the feet are the main focus of the commercial. hmm, im a bit too cynical. though i wouldnt put it past ms. hell, that horse armor should of been in the game!

Ludwig Kietzmann @ Oct 11th 2006 8:43PM

Smellslikepie, I'm afraid I'd already written the story and tossed it into the queue before I got your tip. But you have my thanks anyway.

smellslikepie @ Oct 11th 2006 8:48PM

Ludwig Kietzmann: Thanks for your thanks :P

teehee @ Oct 11th 2006 8:53PM

upscaled dvd dancers, eh? you mean you want to take the dvd guy and force feed him twinkies until he is 6 times the size, blur him a bit, and call him an awesome dancer?

well, yes, it would be amazing to see a blurry 900 pound man doing those manuvers, and 750 pounds of twinkies is likely cheaper than hiring 5 extra dancers, but....wait, i forgot where i was going with this....

well, the point is, your friends won't be oohing and aahing at yer next shindig if you have a blurry 900 pound man on your tv.

arch @ Oct 11th 2006 9:12PM

that was awsome LOL!

no pun intended.

Markster @ Oct 11th 2006 9:21PM

"1 x WOW = (250 x SWEET) + (160 x AWESOME)"

That seems a bit high to me...

Jonn @ Oct 11th 2006 10:04PM

I love that they did it as a pseudo-viral.

Also, who games in all-white rooms anyway?

Liquid @ Oct 11th 2006 11:45PM

The math is infallible.

Ludwid, my friend, you are a genius...no seriously

Liquid @ Oct 11th 2006 11:47PM

haha...who the hell is Ludwid??

Sorry, Ludwig!

Foppe @ Oct 12th 2006 12:04AM

I may speak with the devil now, but exactly what prevents Microsoft (or whatever 3rd party company like madcatz) from doing a Blu-Ray addon, like they did with the HD-DVD addon?
...except the fact that Microsoft prefer HD-DVD and will probably never let somebody officially do it, but except that?