The 10 lamest game consoles, ever

by Blake Snow { Nov 15th 2006 at 2:03AM }

GameDaily opines on what they call the 10 lamest video game consoles, ever. Some real stinkers in there: Atari's Jaguar, Nintendo's Virtual Boy, Philips' CD-i, and the disgrace of a portable called Gizmondo. From the article: "Flustered [by the SNES], the house that Sonic built struck back with this 32-bit add-on in 1994, which (when inserted into the Genesis' cartridge slot) helped the machine play sleeker-looking and -handling games. One problem... Japanese corporate leaders never told their U.S. counterparts Saturn would launch mere months later, reducing third-party development efforts to nil shortly after."

Has a console add-on ever really caught on? Look out, 360 HD-DVD player.

[via Slashdot]

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Zo� K. @ Nov 15th 2006 2:08AM

I love my Virtual Boy, thank you very much. :P

William @ Nov 15th 2006 2:12AM

Horay for rumble, that was an addon! So hah take that joystiq!!!!

Busterspace @ Nov 15th 2006 2:13AM

I love my 32X. Even if I only have two games for it.

Pince @ Nov 15th 2006 2:22AM

Oh man, I read the psot, but I cant stop looking at that Genesis. The Sega Genesis was one sexy machine. I miss my Genesis.

bearattack79 @ Nov 15th 2006 2:37AM

DOOM 32X........

Stop with the HDDVD player comparison. HDDVD is solely a movie player, the 32X was an upgrade, it improved visual quality of your existing genesis games, and could play 32X games.

I still remember my SEGA Genesis W 32X and SegaCD all together, what a beast.

"RELAX PRETEND ITS A GAME"

bearattack79 @ Nov 15th 2006 2:38AM

"Welcome to the next level"

chudgoo @ Nov 15th 2006 2:39AM

"Has a console add-on ever really caught on? Look out, 360 HD-DVD player."

While I have no interest in getting the HD-DVD unit, I would have to say that in this case it doesn't quite compare with things like the 32X, 64DD or PS2 HDD as they were enhancement technologies used primarily for -GAMING-.

The XBOX 360 "HD-DVD add-on" will not be used for games as I recall...

ManekiNeko @ Nov 15th 2006 2:47AM

Wow, who knew a professional wrestler would know this much about video games?

By the way, the Gizmondo is not a bad handheld. It was just produced by bad people.

JR

Doomstalk @ Nov 15th 2006 2:50AM

The Saturn? What the hell? Yeah it was a flop in the US, but it's nothing close to anything else on the list. It had great games, and did just fine in Japan. I mean if sales are the main focus, why isn't the Turbo Grafx 16 on there? Why not the NeoGeo? Or the Dreamcast? They all seem to fit the same criteria as the Saturn, but they were also all great systems in their own right.

velocitystrike @ Nov 15th 2006 3:04AM

I'm just waiting for someone to utter "gamecube" ¬_¬

moofree @ Nov 15th 2006 3:11AM

Velocitystrike, the gamecube wasn't a lame console. Some of the best games of the last generation were on the gamecube. SSBM, Metroid Prime, RE4, etc...

And if you really wanted to do the bs addon thing, you could attach a gb player. That's much better than the 32x :)

Pikachelsea @ Nov 15th 2006 3:24AM

moofree, velocitystrike was being sarcastic. With posts like this one there's always some fanboys rushing in screaming "THEY LEFT OFF THE LAMECUBE LOLOLOLOL!!!!".

Prince: What are you talking about? The Genesis wasn't on the list. The Saturn was.

Anyway, don't flip out, people. This is just one person's opinion and clearly all of us would add or subtract different consoles from the list.

Markusdragon @ Nov 15th 2006 3:31AM

What about the Commodore C64GS? Now THAT was a lame console.

Ninjaluke84 @ Nov 15th 2006 3:45AM

I think you forgot the PSP.

Jahgah @ Nov 15th 2006 3:54AM

"RELAX PRETEND ITS A GAME"

Wow only a few were in the sega cd club and I was definitely one of them. Was it just me or was alot of the games for sega cd really cool. They had a whole mess of cool RPGs that at the time was almost leding edge for consoles. The anime cut scenes were pretty neat. I actually really enjoyed that add on for genesis. Games like dracula and Dark Wizard (one of my favorite strategy/rpg games). I used to rock the house with my sega cd. I even bought a saturn. When dreamcast came out I was gonna get it and then it was dead already. I was pretty shocked at that. What a shame.... if ever I was a fanboy, I was a sega fanboy. Why would you ask..... just one title....... Mortal Kombat 1. The blood was a deciding factor for me and censorship was not something I wanted. Now years later I still like nintendo. Street fighter on genesis sucked. But sega was definitely the jam.

Daeval @ Nov 15th 2006 4:31AM

Weakest article ever. Action Max? If you're going to put that crap on there, you better include all those knock-off single-game "consoles" you find at swap meets before you get anywhere near the Saturn or even the Lynx.

And I liked all three of the games I had on my 32X, thank you. (Virtua Fighter, Doom 32X, Star Wars Arcade)

kevinski @ Nov 15th 2006 4:57AM

Saturn? Okay, that site just lost all credibility in my eyes.

the_game_master @ Nov 15th 2006 5:38AM

HD-DVD add-on drive for X360 isn't the same as 32X & SCD, those accessories extended the Genesis capabilites to play more video games, one offering 32-bit games, the other FMV interactive games. HD-DVD only extends on visuals and the same movies can be bought and played on the X360 alone.

I see Sega CD as a success 1992-1996 is pretty good for a 16-bit CD-ROM console, surrounded by 32-bit systems (3DO, Saturn, PlayStation)
32X death (1994-1995) was unforunate but Sega didn't want split sales of it and its rushed Saturn console.

Mr.Wednesday @ Nov 15th 2006 5:53AM

I dont know why people hate the Ngage so much... When It was released I didnt want to buy it because it was expensive and the games were lame... But NOW I think its the best thing you can get...

60bucks for a phone were I can listen to mp3s and play some good old NES and Game Boy Color action...

Jason W @ Nov 15th 2006 6:14AM

I had a 32x and thought it was a ok add on. I bought it after it was 50 bucks in the store. I had the most fun with it since the master system (at that time) as far as Sega systems go. Virtua Fighter, Doom 32X, Star Wars Arcade were all great games for their time. When Virtua Fighter 32x came out it was the first 3d fighter on a home console. It was freaking awsome for its time.

Now as for the 360 add on. I bought it yesterday. I already have the Toshiba HDDVD drive and wanted to be able to play my movies in more than one room without moving this that monster. The HDDVD add on has a great picture quality and better load times than the toshiba and its 60% cheaper. I dont put it in the same league as the 32x or Sega CD since its not used for games just movies.

Kent Houseman @ Nov 15th 2006 7:53AM

The Saturn doesn't belong on the list. It bombed but was a quality product with quality titles. The problem was that only one team could consistantly utilize its processors. Sonic Team. The power for 3d was there but they split everything up into different processors handeling different aspects of the games. Which lead to a programmers nightmare (I have a hunch the cell processors of this generation will cause problems along with a hiked production cost).

It did well in Japan but there was a series of flaws (in the desing, marketing, pricing, release dates, etc) that doomed it from the beginning. A failure, but not a lame product.

Oh yea, the N-Gage? There are people out there STILL defending that peice of garbage. It's like the kid who pays to go to a movie and the movie sucks but the kid lies to himself to not feel ripped off. I don't care if you got it as a present or if you were dumb enough to spend your own money on it...it was a peice of crap and you knew better.

Kent Houseman @ Nov 15th 2006 8:30AM

In response to Doomstalk's comment. Not only should the Saturn not be up there but the Neo Geo and Turbo Graphix 16 should fit in there.

The Saturn did more to advance the gaming industry than a lot of the crap on there. More than the Dreamcast. Sure the dreamcast had graphics unheard of at the time but the competition's systems were well on their way. The Saturn did kill the DC's chances in my opinion by being the 4th bomb from sega in a row (Sega CD, 32x, Nomad, and the Saturn) destroying Sega's credibility (which was already hurt from the previous 3 bombs).

It is odd though everyone points to Nintendo's virtual boy as a disaster when everyone in the know at Nintendo didn't want to release it but the higher ups demanded it. Sega willingly saturated the market with products that didn't stand on their own very well.

unimental @ Nov 15th 2006 6:47AM

I think the Sega CD was "lamer" than the 32x, although it did have more software support. It did, however, look pretty sweet tucked under the first gen Genesis. Sol-Feace? Wtf? And Dana Plato...

I talked my parents into getting me a 3DO back in the day, and the only good thing about that was Road Rash. Glad to see it get a mention on the list, but I don't remember it clocking in at $700... more like $400.

Lou D @ Nov 15th 2006 7:24AM

Word on the street was that the 32X was actually more powerful than the Saturn...

striderhayasa @ Nov 15th 2006 8:07AM

hey 3D0 had the best home version of Super Street Fighter and an arcade perfect Samurai Showdown 2. Crash and Burn was a good for it's time as well. Loved the track design.

If these geniuses were going to write such an article, where is the NEC-PCFX? A friend of mine imported that garbage from Japan and swore it was a hot item. All the games played like Dragon's Lair, with these animated sequences for gameplay. It took the term "interactive animation" too far. Sucked total ass. I was embarassed for my friend for wasting the doe importing it.

Also, Saturn should not be mentioned in that article. Saturn gave us awesome Capcom fighting game support, Marvel Superheros, Xmen vs StreetFighter, one of the best shooters ever made in Radiant SilverGun, Astal, a kick ass version of Virtual Fighter 2, Panzer Dragoon 1, 2 and Panzer Saga, Guardian Heros, Dragon Force...Saturn rocks.

bassbeast @ Nov 15th 2006 7:52AM

I think Blank... erm, Blake Snow is the new Vlad. Someone has to be around saying boneheaded things.

Do you even know what HD DVD is?

Josh* @ Nov 15th 2006 8:10AM

Which reminds me, I hope the Wii sees Saturn added to the VC. I never played Clockwork Knight, Panzer Dragoon, NiGHTS, or Sonic Fighters, and I'd like to without buying a Saturn.

bdeluxe @ Nov 15th 2006 9:07AM

The 360 HD-DVD add-on, will not be used for games... why are you trying to suggest to people that it will. It's like the Bush administration insinuating that Al Qaeda were in Iraq...

Ryoga Vee @ Nov 15th 2006 9:21AM

People that defend the N-Gage are people who actually own an N-Gage. Most DONT know it can emulate NES, GBC and Sega GENs games. Its a VERY powerful phone for its price range. few extra bucks gets you a 1GB mmc card. MP3 player and video, S60.
Keep in mind N-Gage had video functions LONG before other phones did.

I still have my QD and im not getting rid of it for anything. and if it ever konks out on me, i'll get another before I buy a newer phone.

p.s. I did own the Action Max, that was uber crap

Royale @ Nov 15th 2006 9:56AM

I had almost forgotten completely about the Action Max. My dad was a manager at a large retail store and he brought it home for us to try out. It was about as lame as the article says. You really can't understand the lameness unless you actually saw it. But it was never in the same league as "the tendo."

Psykechan @ Nov 15th 2006 3:04PM

Originally posted on Slashdot here:

http://games.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=206582&cid=16847352
---
They left out plenty. This list is poorly researched and includes add-ons like the Sega 32X but not the Sega CD, the TurboGrafx CD or the Nintendo 64DD. Why not those? They were just as "lame".

It contains a reference to the licensed 3DO technology in the form of a Panasonic FZ-10 (The FZ-1 was the $700 version). It does not talk about the Nuon DVD chipset. At least the 3DO systems had a few decent titles... all the Nuon had going for it was Tempest 3000.

Are they going for commercial flops? Some of these systems were arguably better than anything else on the market and certainly weren't that lame. The Lynx was in some ways better than home consoles at the time. They might as well have included the PSP.

I wouldn't have put the Saturn on the list for the same reason that I wouldn't put the TurboGrafx (PC Engine) on the list; both were very popular in Japan. The Neo Geo was very popular in the arcades as the MVS (Multi Video System). I would put the SuperGrafx on that list though; only six expensive titles were ever released. It did play PC Engine games though. It also paved the way for the PC-FX which could also be included on a lame list.

Speaking of that, how about things like the LaserActive. Check out those prices: $970 for the main unit and $600 for either a Genesis or TurboGrafx module that will let you play games. It makes the PlayStation 3 look like a bargain!

Props go to them for listing the Action Max. Unfortunately it doesn't look like people ever learn their lesson. Just ask Mattel with their 2006 HyperScan game console. You can thank me later for not including a link to their hideous flash based site.

You could even mention computer manufaturers wanting to get into the market. Atari, Apple, and Commodore (twice) have all turned computer systems into crappy consoles.

There are plenty more but I'm not making a list. I'm just pointing out the shortcomings of others. :) Chew on these for a bit, GameDaily.

jay @ Nov 15th 2006 10:29AM

How much time did the author of this article spend playing each console on this list? 4 minutes? 9 minutes? http://videolamer.com/index.php/1161

solomonrex @ Nov 15th 2006 10:44AM

Wasn't the online adapter for ps2 an add-on? A really popular add-on that didn't even work with every title?

Now, the ps2 hard-drive, that was a huuuuuge flop. Way to mug your fans, Sony and Squeenix.

devi8i @ Nov 15th 2006 10:56AM

The Jaguar never really caught on in home usage but its arcade version the COJAG sure did... i bet there isnt a person on this blog that didnt put money in an Area 51 machine

cdoty @ Nov 15th 2006 11:08AM

Wow, this is a very touchy list.

If you include the 3DO, why not the Neo Geo AES/CD? I'm sure these didn't sell incredible number of systems, either. I love my Neo Geo AES and CD, but if you include a console strictly on number of sales, then the Neo Geo system belong on the list.

And, if you include the Gizmondo and N-Gage, why not the Tapwave. But, games like Stunt Car Extreme shows what these system were capable of. It's easy to lump these systems into the GBA category, but they offered a lot more.

ackmondual @ Nov 15th 2006 11:42AM

@ #9
NeoGeo may have never became mainstream since it costed $600 and cartridges at $100 to $150, but the arcades and its fun games ported to the home system still have a huge fanbase today, which I'm guessing is faring better off than Saturn did.

@ #16
Ngage design wasn't 'right'. You had to take the battery out just to swap game cards/cartridges and a portrait oriented screen for games. The Ngage QD fixed this, but then they took away some of the nicer features from the original like built-in MP3 player, FM receiver, USB connection, and stereo headphone jack

@ #34
To think if Gizmondo had a few miles more in them, Colors would've been the first vid game to use and require GPS function.

As for the Tapwave Zodiac, Stunt Car Extreme is neat. I have to restart it from scratch since I forgot to keep my zod2 charged for so long and didn't bother to backup my data. But with its emulation support and truly unique games like Gloop Zero, it certainly holds its own still today despite Tapwave closing down years ago. It was like a precursor to the DS with its touchscreen games. On the flipside, the DRM was quite a bummer. I'm guessin zod isnt' there mostly b/c it's even more obscure than the Gizmondo to the folks who wrote that article

dl @ Nov 15th 2006 12:10PM

I love my add on Sega CD/32X for Genesis, HD-DVD for Xbox 360 and GameBoy Player for Gamecube

Robert @ Nov 15th 2006 1:17PM

Good Lord, Gizmondo was garbage. I'm glad it didn't succeed. The only good game that I can recall for it was SSX 3. Great, a port of a game from two years ago. Rock solid, Gizmondo.

32_Footsteps @ Nov 15th 2006 12:32PM

"Which reminds me, I hope the Wii sees Saturn added to the VC. I never played Clockwork Knight, Panzer Dragoon, NiGHTS, or Sonic Fighters, and I'd like to without buying a Saturn."

You forgot Guardian Heroes, which was simply the best Saturn game ever. The Saturn also had versions of the arcade Dungeons & Dragons games that ruled - if those appeared on the Virtual Console (especially if they threw in four-player mode like in the arcades), I'd drop cash on those immediately.

Yoshi Likes Boys @ Nov 15th 2006 12:38PM

The SATURN is on the list? Holy retarded, Batman. The Saturn's game collection is simply awesome (LOTS of great exclusives), and show me one person who DOESN'T think the 2nd Gen pad is among the elite game controllers of all time.

dgbellak @ Nov 15th 2006 12:47PM

Yeah, the Saturn was so horrible that many of its horrible games were successfully ported to the PlayStation (Grandia! Lunar! Vandal-Hearts! C'mon!). What a crummy list.

If they really wanted crummy systems on there, where's the Game.Com?

Carter @ Nov 15th 2006 12:54PM

How bout Atari Lynx... Great graphics for the day with a battery life of aprox 30mins... Died a moderately painfull death and took Epyx along for the ride...

dl @ Nov 15th 2006 1:25PM

Saturn is better than PlayStation because you can't switch fighter during the fight in X-Men Vs. Street Fighter and Marvel Vs. Street Fighter plus the loading time on Street Fighter Alpha 3 (Zero 3) on PsOne is horrible compared to Saturn version, even Dreamcast version of SFA3 under Saturn.

Kent Houseman @ Nov 15th 2006 2:26PM

See that? Look at 29. The N-Gage is crap but this guy swears by it.

Like stated earlier. There was the initial version that had horrible design flaws. Or there was the other version that was released just 6 months after the first (and took out all the system's strengths and the design was much better...vertical screen...)

The N-Gage didn't work for the US' biggest cellular company and didn't work in Japan at all. That hurt sells...well maybe not. In Canada and the UK where it worked on most services it still bombed.

The N-gage's competitors bragged they could run it's games on their phones. They were right.

Nokia gave out false sells numbers. The bottom line is that they shipped 6 million to retailers and as of the end of last year the retailers only managed to dump 2.5 million. Way under their estimates.

The system is referred to as a failed cellular telephone device and mobile device. Nokia doesn't dispute this, in fact they halted any discussion on the N-gage until 2007 (this was late 05 early 06 when this was announced). I believe they are saying they are just going to incorporate the N-gage's gaming technology into their new line of phones...(why didn't they just do that from the get go? Why release a poorly designed peice of crap that had bad compatibility issues in the world's biggest markets, then try and fix some issues by getting rid of it's biggest strengths?).

Peice of crap. Don't defend it. You got ripped off and now you just sit there and stare at thing and realize you could have gotten something else.

ttr @ Nov 16th 2006 1:08AM

@ #39
omg, thanks for bringing back terrible memories of the Game.Com. It can barely even be considered a gaming device. It was like those really old LCD handheld games where every level was the same except the placement of some enemies were different and stuff. Granted I never owned the thing, just played a demo unit in some store.