The worst video game ads (PC edition)

dumb ad, but man, shogo was a pretty good game.

"Shogo: Mobile Armor Division" was a cool game. I was disappointed Monolith never made a sequel.

Hmm, am I wrong or didn't Half-Life actually have those ninja chicks they're complaining about?

I do think the Daikatana ad for example would be seen quite differently had the game turned out better too, not all of these are bad ads IMO althought they do most have some poorly thought out elements.

uh, yea, i quite clearly remember the female crossbow assassins from Half Life.. you came up that service elevator and quickly got your ass handed to you. it was quite a difficult section of the game.

nothing bothers me quite like a lazy author...

Half Life did have the chicks, only they didn't have crossbows.
Well, they did, but a last minute change took them out. Likely a change AFTER the ad was made. And it's such a minute difference, does anyone actually remember that they didn't have crossbows without looking it up?

The real tragedy of the whole Daikatana debacle is that there WAS a version of Daikatana that was decent. The Gameboy game. It was a pretty good RPG! Of course, it never got released and you can only play it in rom form on an emulator thanks to it getting axed before release.

There actually was a good version of Daikatana whose ads are rightfully lampooned on that page... the one for the Gameboy Color. It bears little resemblance to the PC and N64 travesties, and I thought it was never released... but according to Gamespot, it was released sometime in 2000. If you see it in a bin somewhere, grab it up, its a fun action RPG.

reading the rest of the feature, i stand by my 'lazy author' comment. notice that a great deal of the criticism he writes is directed not towards the ads themselves, but the products they're advertising.

Hey, if a hot chick is modelling for the game it must be worth a purchase.

I don't think the crossbows are important, only the ninja chicks part. Toss in pirates, aliens, and mutants and we'll call it even.

How the hell did they pass up the original Meridian 59 ads?

Worst ad ever.
"Engage in thousands of exciting relationships with total strangers without wearing anything made of latex." (http://www.psychochild.org/m59ads/m59ad2.gif)

This one isn't great either
"Next time someone tells you to get a life, tell them you've got one. Meridian 59. Online." (http://www.psychochild.org/m59ads/m59ad.gif)

Wow, they completely ripped off Shacknews. They did this same kind of article over a year ago.

I still have this ad in an old PC Gamer from 1998, back when I didn't dispise anime!

Awww, damn... Shogo: MAD. I love that game to death. I should install it again some time, I have the disc a few feet away.

http://www.1up.com/do/feature?pager.offset=2&cId=3155509

I remember seeing this Mystique ad for some grfx card back then. Didn't really make sense to me till now. This isn't a Mardi Gras theme, but a Cirque Du Soleil theme. Mystique sounds French, is the title ofthe track for one of Cirque's shows: Mystere. That's my guess anyways.

Shogo was so great. The music and no-nonsense mecha feel really deserved another outing. Monolith, enough of this skulking in the dark crap, bring back Shogo!

Man, I got SO excited thinking they were bringing Shogo back! That was an awesome game. I liked the fact that it was mechs, but they were not the traditional slow mechs.

I tried to instal Shogo on my intel imac (using boot camp to get into XP) and it will install, but not run. Not even in Win95 mode.

weaksauce

SHOGO:MAD was a great fucking game, that is all.

anyone who thinks the shogo ad isnt funny either a) doesnt have a sense of humor or b) never played shogo. thats slightly problematic, because presumably the ad is intended clearly for the b camp, but eh, thems the breaks.

shogo multiplayer was neurotic. it made UT seem sane and nicely paced. then the mods started coming out. Shogo Squishie mod? awh yeah! seriously though, shogo was one of those thing Monolith just aced. wonderful very performant game engine with a great story, solid weapons and really really fun & frantic multiplayer.

my only request is, if monolith ever makes another shogo, please spent a lot of time and a lot of love and make it just as kick ass.

oh jeezus, we have shiny to blame for messiah? i have to go f-ing cry myself to sleep now. how could they?! :/

ps,
"that john romero chicks pretty hot"
"for a guy"