The Onion skewers Wii and PS3
by Zack Stern 
{ Nov 30th 2006 at 1:30AM }
The Onion posts a hi-larious infographic comparing the PS3 and Wii in such categories as "ability to tear families apart" and ability to be a "parenting substitute." (Both consoles score "excellent" in the latter category.)We would have added "reason you upgraded the TV." (PS3: Needed the full 1080p experience. Wii: Tried to show off home-run swing to first date and let go of the remote.)
What other headings -- and judgments -- would you add?
[Via N'Gai Croal's Level Up]
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Seraya @ Nov 30th 2006 1:39AM
The Wii loves you thiiiiis much.
Judd @ Nov 30th 2006 1:40AM
Wow they really ripped on the Wii a lot worse than the PS3. *sniff* *sniff* Do you smell something burning? Better watch out for those flames.
Second Post!!!
Jesse Morrison @ Nov 30th 2006 1:40AM
All these articles about people losing their grip on their Wii controllers make me wonder if anyone on the Joystiq blogging team actually Has a Wii.
Ninegauger @ Nov 30th 2006 1:46AM
Resolution the system displays on 1080i television:
Wii: 480p
PS3: 480p
I'm aware it's a little more complicated, but it's still an egregious oversight on Sony's part.
NotAnElitistPrick @ Nov 30th 2006 1:49AM
There should probably be a:
Fans' Ability to Take a Joke:
PS3: Pretty capable.
Wii: Let you know once the office fires die down.
Seriously, you hypersensitive fanboys, Joystiq publicized a SECOND (well past the DOA-mark) shot at the Genji gaffe, and yet you have to go cry about one one joke within the first 3 posts here.
Count Chocula @ Sep 7th 2007 11:01PM
COMMENCE THE PS3 BASHING
Jesse Morrison @ Nov 30th 2006 2:01AM
NotAnElitistPrick, you're right Joystiq does post fairly balanced critiques of all systems I won't argue that. Personally I'm just a little tired of people talking about the Wii-mote slipping out of their hands.
Do you have a Wii? Has it slipped out of your hands? Has your strap broke? I'm just feeling that the focus on the Wii-strap is getting a little silly.
NotAnElitistPrick @ Nov 30th 2006 2:16AM
JesseMorrison:
1) No, I don't.
2) Yeah, it has, and not because my hands were sweaty, either. A rectangle with rounded sides, and a button + D-pad you're trying to still have acess to is not exactly the optimal situation for gripping something.
3) No broken straps yet.
RetroJunkie @ Dec 1st 2006 3:36PM
Thats funny number 8
How do you know that the controller can fly out of your hands, if you do not own one?
hell i can do more damage with a old ps2 controller with the way I and other casual gamers act like when playing
The whole "LOL WII-MOTE KILLS" jokes are based on personal experience, if the remote is flying or off to break something
their is a good chance that you're Dumb as fuck for letting it doing so
i mean Does EVERY baseball player throw their Baseball bat?
no
does it happen
yes, it does, and they by a good chance swing it at high HIGH speeds
its like saying "PEOPLE FALL OFF OF DDR PADS ROFFLE"
its just pissing on a isolated Generalization
Genji jokes are a WHOLE different ball game
This isn't about sensitivity of fans
its about using anything as leverage
i personally am not sick of the jokes
i am however of the whole "LOL U FANBOIS"
its just ironic
Rubang @ Nov 30th 2006 3:33AM
None of the games in Wii Sports have you pressing the D-Pad while swinging the controller around. In golf you swing while holding in A. In bowling you swing while holding in B. It doesn't make it harder to hold the controller. The people who claim the controller flies out of their hand claim this happens for tennis, which involves no buttons whatsoever.
reppy @ Nov 30th 2006 5:07AM
I love the Madden comparison for Wii: "Small, scrappy system with a lot of potential. You gotta love this little guy's heart"
Amazing. I love The Onion. Most of the article "bashing" the Wii involves its name. I admit I still feel kind of silly saying "Wii", sometimes choosing to refer to it as "the new Nintendo", especially when I'm talking to older adults. Although I'm surprised that most of them know what it is. "The Wii? I was at my neighbor's house playing that. He has the game where you do operations. It looks fun. I want one."
That said, if it was Vladimir Cole that posted this, I'd be 1000x angrier. (My FANBOY SENSES are tingling just typing his name!)
Keef @ Nov 30th 2006 5:37AM
ill be getting all consoles when they are released in the UK, im currently LOVING my 360, and i think the other 2 have alot to do to beat it, but i will still be getting all 3, just for the fact that i aint going to talk crap about any of the consoles till i get/played on them all.
But at the moment i really do like the 360, and if you dont like them but havent tryed 1, im sure atleast 90% of you would LOVE the 360 is u just got 1 and tryed some of the good games out.
and for those that has 1 and didnt like it, oh well, each to their own.
craptastic @ Nov 30th 2006 6:19AM
now thats funny, i like the madden comparison.
sploy @ Nov 30th 2006 7:50AM
"4. Resolution the system displays on 1080i television:
Wii: 480p
PS3: 480p"
Why can't the PS3 do 720p/1080i ?
White Rose Duelist @ Nov 30th 2006 8:37AM
NotAnElitistPrick wins today's award for "Disproving His/Her Own Point".
HEY @ Nov 30th 2006 8:50AM
#13 Why can't the PS3 do 720p/1080i ?
because the PS3 doesn't have an internal scaler like the 360 does and sony has stated that the problem might not be a quick firmware fix.
32_Footsteps @ Nov 30th 2006 9:42AM
Honestly, I thought they let loose on the PS3 more. "What it senses: fear". They mock the Wii via sarcasm, and the PS3 via hyperbole. Freaking hilarious.
They forgot this one:
Potential for violence:
PS3: Trying to get one at Wal-Mart
Wii: Thrown controller while playing
Ninegauger @ Nov 30th 2006 10:10AM
What the PS3 apparently can't do is output a game running in 720p, like say Resistance the most popular game on the system, in 1080i so instead the system displays it at 480p. This is a problem on most, if not all, CRT HD Televisions and kind of bullshit since the 360 upscales any game to 1080i if that's what you have.
CJC @ Nov 30th 2006 10:50AM
Hahaha, The Onion is always good for a laugh.
Wii senses: Motion
PS3 senses: Fear
DrunkenCP @ Dec 12th 2006 11:53AM
Fanboy loyalty
Wii: Extreme
PS3: New religion
ackmondual @ Nov 30th 2006 12:30PM
Attribute: Advertising super powers
Playstation 3: leviates, makes plastic babies cry in reverse, telekinetically flings eggs across a room, and lifts + solves Rubik's cubes.
Wii: attracts hot girls and convinces them to wave, point, pump, stroke, press, and play with its controller stick and attachments.
Who would you say wins this round? :D
ackmondual @ Dec 4th 2006 11:08AM
Attribute: Advertising super powers
Playstation 3: leviates, makes plastic babies cry in reverse, telekinetically flings eggs across a room, lifts + solves Rubik's cubes, paints rooms instantly with individual sided precision.
Wii: attracts hot girls and convinces them to wave, point, pump, stroke, press, and play with its controller stick and attachments.
Who would you say wins this round? :D
thbhouse @ Nov 30th 2006 12:33PM
sploy, the PS3 can do 720p, my PS3's been running on 720p since I got it... it's just that some older TVs can only do 1080i and in that case it scales it down to 480p.
*Please understand subjects before posting. Thank you.