The Wii is quickly becoming the deadliest console ever made
, with Wii controllers dramatically detaching from wrists and hurtling straight into the nearest television
, priceless vase or unprotected grandmother. Other times, the wiimote inflicts massive damage
without even leaving the hand, swung wildly through the air with little regards to a friend's head which occupies the same space. Joystiq reader, Anders Akk, today sent us yet another harrowing story of flailing siblings and unexpected clobberings:hey guys, recently got my nintendo wii and have had a really, really bad experience with it. i was playing wii sports boxing with my brother and we were playing in a pretty small room. the idiot go so into the action and tried to side swipe my character when his nunchuk hit me in my right eye. i have an absolutely massive bloody black eye and can hardly even open it. to top it off, about 5 minutes later he was playing on his own when the wii remote shot out of his hand and hit the tv. its only a cheap crt, but he's put a dark patch in it from the impact. anyway, thought i may as well let others get a kick out of my mishaps...
Paired with his photographic evidence
, the tale truly is a dreadful one. Dreadful and entirely untrue. Here's the story Anders should
have told us:
hey guys, recently got my Wii, but since its being hogged by my brother all the time, i don't have a whole lot to do. so I decided to photoshop (or photochop *lawl*) myself a black eye and then claim that I've had a wii injury. i took a picture of my face and then did a Google image search on "black eye". some guy's face popped up and I cut out his horribly swollen, truly injured eye. next, I flipped the image horizontally, turned it a bit and blended it into my own eye socket. i also photoshopped a mysterious black mark on my CRT TV to top it off. maybe that's too much. anyway, i'm sure you guys will see right through it (you live on the internet, after all) and make a vaguely derisive post about it. i'll get my deeply desired attention and you'll get a funny article. it's a win-win situation, guys!
Let that be a lesson to you, employers. Don't let Wiinjuries slide without a doctor's note. As for you, Anders ... might we recommend photoshopping a raw steak onto that eye?