Protecting adults from children online
by Alexander Sliwinski 
{ Dec 23rd 2006 at 7:11PM }
The year 2006 was full of politicians and special interests protecting children from the evils of gaming -- but what about protecting adults from the children of the internet? In this recording (absolutely, positively NSFW!) an apparent 11-year-old named Hobbs says some of the most funny/disturbing/cringe inducing things during a World of Warcraft raid. Your initial instinct will be to think it's all fake, but over the 52 minutes worth of audio the realization that it's all real starts to bubble up as a possibility. The adults find Hobbs amusing at the beginning, but the novelty wanes by the end with people saying they'll quit the guild if he joins.It's moments like this where an age restricted guild might be in order, especially when they start messing with Hobbs and talk about sending the kid pornography. As gaming continues its demographic spread, what can adults do to protect themselves from dealing with children? Do you automatically leave a game on Xbox Live once you hear the shrill voice of a 10-year-old? Would you pay extra to have an "adults only" section on Xbox Live? Parents buy children their consoles, games and allow them to roam free on the internet; maybe it's time to protect adults who just want to have a good time.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Neil Christie @ Dec 23rd 2006 7:25PM
You dont need to say NSFW on Christmas Eve.
icemorebutts @ Dec 23rd 2006 7:25PM
lawl, that was pretty funny.
bearattack79 @ Dec 23rd 2006 7:27PM
Freakin Kids these days, shouldent they be playing the Wii. Booooooo @ myself.
Spilt_Milk @ Dec 23rd 2006 7:27PM
I would pay a monthly fee for an 18+ Xbox live for sure.
Kids should be seen and not heard.
Vince @ Dec 23rd 2006 7:29PM
So XBL don't have an "adults only" lobby for games?
Good grief, next you'll be telling me they don't have timezone specific lobbys, to avoid the kids getting back from school on the other side of the world.
That was rhetorical.
ch0rx @ Dec 23rd 2006 7:31PM
Kids would find a way into the 18+ section easily. I remember back when I was 10-13,14ish how hard it was to roam in to older chartrooms on Yahoo, ect. Unfortunately, it seems that older gamers are defenseless, I guess thats why there is a mute button.
IggyChaotix @ Dec 23rd 2006 7:41PM
Yes yes oh god yes. If I hear a prepubescent voice on a Counter-Strike match, I am out of there in a flash.
Ed @ Dec 23rd 2006 7:46PM
Man, there is very little I find more annoying than hearing a kid whose voice hasn't broken calling people (rot13)zbgure-shpxvat pbpx-fhpxvat avttref(/rot13) on XBL.
It's really, really annoying. I generally just avoid the ones who are that lame, but I wouldn't mind a reliable 18+ XBL zone.
audioeric @ Dec 23rd 2006 7:44PM
A mute button doesn't really help..
The nice thing is the 'Prefer Player' item, as well as building a good friends list.. Mine is almost full and I usually do a purge every other month.. Nothing personal, but if you haven't been playing much in the last month or so, then being on my friends list is pointless..
eric
LnD @ Dec 23rd 2006 7:46PM
that is soooo funny, couldnt help but laugh pritty much the whole way....
Kerst @ Dec 23rd 2006 7:48PM
representing Maelstrom - thats where this was recorded. holy hell. come see us some time.
MDK2002 @ Dec 23rd 2006 7:53PM
I find that the most mature games and content are so appealing to kids today is because they are not supposed to have it at all. So when gamers of the correct age or older want to play on xbox live they are forced to hear the very immature voices that come through the headset it makes you not want to play or just mute everyone. So as a society either two things need to happen : 1.Parents DON'T buy your child games that are not rated for them. 2. Better verification of age when signing into Xbox live.
Personally most people underage play the most popular games and get away with it just so the parents don't have to hear them cry and wine; prime examples right now are Halo 2 and Gears of War. Personally i don't know who to blame for this rampant increase in minors in adult gaming.
Simon @ Aug 4th 2008 5:21AM
That recording was brilliant, thanks Joystiq.
Azerael @ Dec 23rd 2006 7:57PM
I wouldn't mind using an 18+ area of Live. It would be better if people who received a lot of poor feedback weren't allowed to use voice anymore...
silkylove @ Dec 23rd 2006 7:59PM
"Who queffed? It smells like old clams in here."
rofl
This is why I don't play WoW anymore:p
Sam Chavira @ Dec 23rd 2006 8:08PM
Hey, just because one person under 18 is a dumbass doesn't mean we all are (I'm 14). Age restrictions are horrible, and people will just fake their way through it anyway.
SickNic @ Dec 23rd 2006 8:10PM
The shrill of kids on XBL is like fingernails running down a chaulkboard to me. I usually jost submit an avoid review, or mute them, but seriously, when a 7 year old says things that would make a dark man blush, you gotta wonder what the hell is going on these days...
maxx77 @ Dec 23rd 2006 8:18PM
I often quit XBL games when I hear the girly, high pitched sound of an adolecent boy. It's not that I have anything against them, they're just being who they are: F'in ANNOYING! Almost all of them I've encountered are guilty of the same sin. They don't shut up. Telling me where the enemy sniper is hiding, that's a good thing. Talking nonstop for 5 minutes trying to get everyone to have a knife-only fight, go to hell.
Pinhead @ Dec 23rd 2006 8:20PM
To me this seems like a comedy skit. Kinda like the old Crank Yankers, except with Vent and WoW. A little bit too funny to be real.
Fazer @ Dec 23rd 2006 8:24PM
yeah @16
i don't consider myself a kid
i am 14 and i'm a mature one. i hate it when i hear kids that have voices higher than the girls in the 6th grade.
most people who have voices that high are usually the whiners and quitters on xbox live.
Dave @ Dec 23rd 2006 8:35PM
I agree. Anyone under 18 should be restricted to the "Children with Irresponsible Parents" game areas.
Vince @ Dec 23rd 2006 8:38PM
As a 34 year old I find pretty much everyone under the age of 25 pretty hard going as company during chit chat on games, we just don't connect.
Anyone under the age of 18 just makes me feel uncomfortable, strange but true.
Dan Bennett @ Dec 23rd 2006 8:48PM
Maybe they should go the route of Leisure Suit Larry 1 and ask basic questions about the pop culture of the previous decade before allowing you to play. :)
AssemblyLineHuman @ Dec 23rd 2006 8:52PM
Maybe I should get an Xbox 360 just so I can be one of those 16-year-olds who makes you guys feel uncomfortable. =) Seriously, is every minor who you encounter on there really that immature? Every one?
And come on. I understand being annoyed about 11-year-olds cussing into your ear on Xbox Live, but anyone who thinks every minor playing M-rated games has irresponsible parents misunderstands the point of the ESRB. It is so each individual family can quickly determine if a game might be inappropriate based on their value systems, maturity levels, etc. There is no such thing as an underage M-rated gamer. If that's the case, we might as well blow the First Amendment to the wind, let the legislators restrict M-rated games to 18+, and be done with it.
chudgoo @ Dec 23rd 2006 9:02PM
Did anyone think to DISCOURAGE his obnoxious behavior?
This kid is on the fast track to douche-dom and someone should help him out...attention seeking date rapists have to start somewhere right?
chudgoo @ Dec 23rd 2006 9:12PM
#24 - Dan Bennett
Way back in those days (when Sierra reigned supreme) I had a badly xerox'd cheat sheet for those questions...heh. (cheating to circumvent age barriers is a staple of adolescence)
I still fondly remember trying to upset the command interpreter with swear words...
"The hell you say?!"
IMHO there is a world of difference between throwing naughty words at a command prompt and spewing sexist vomit at fellow gamers for an hour like that kid....the girl who left early on had the right idea. That kid should probably get used to the idea women fleeing his presence.
Now watch... this 'Hobbs' kid will find this thread and call everyone a 'fag'...sigh...
Ilmmad @ Dec 23rd 2006 9:18PM
Just because someone has a high voice doesn't make them stupid or profane, just slightly annoying. Not their fault, so don't blame them for it.
Deep voices don't make people mature or tolerable either. I've shared matches with plenty of profane, immature deep-voiced players.
aegies @ Dec 23rd 2006 9:21PM
I can sympathize with as a 25 year old. Anecdotally, I've met more than a few people playing Rainbow Six Vegas who have more or less sworn off Gears of War because the younger players seem to gravitate toward it more, while the older gamers lean toward Vegas. And after playing adversarial multiplayer in Gears, I'm getting to be the same way. It just gets old, no pun intended, playing with people who think they can demonstrate how "mature" they are by how much profanity and yelling they can squeeze through the mic. I like to work with people voluntarily, not have to try to convince someone to be a team player, among other problems.
http://eat-sleep-game.com
William @ Dec 23rd 2006 9:23PM
I don't care too much if little kids play SINGLE PLAYER of M rated games, but when they start online chat OH MY GOD I WANT THEM DEAD.
AMEN AMEN TO PROTECTING ADULTS FROM STUPID KIDS
BillDoE @ Dec 23rd 2006 10:42PM
This is proof of why enforcement of game ratings would be a good thing. This kid talks dirty but he's not near as annoying as many others I have to avoid on xbox live.
bassbeast @ Dec 23rd 2006 9:35PM
I don't care how "mature" you may think you are at 14, Sam Chavira. I'm 26 and can still remember how I was at 14. Sure, at the time I thought I was mature and smart 'n stuff, but honestly, I was dumb as a brick. We all were, and even though you don't realize it now, so are you (trust me, you'll see it even in five years from now). It's nothing personal, it's just that's the way we were at 14.
Videogaming is a social activity. As such, I want to socialize with people my own age. I wouldn't want to go out for a drink with you, Sam. I wouldn't want to invite you over to my place for you to game with me in person either, so why would I want to do it over the internet? The fact that you really shouldn't be playing these games to begin with is another story - that 8-year old who's playing Halo 2 professionally at his parents' encouragement makes me ill.
But know that it's not that we want to make your life miserable, we just don't want to hang with our baby brothers when we're trying to have fun.
flyguy @ Dec 23rd 2006 9:40PM
It's most of those damn Gen-X'er parents we should blame. They absolutely suck and do anything to please their kids so they shut up for awhile while mommy can give daddy a blowjob in the utility room...
Seriously, I know it's not easy being a parent, but my god. Growing up around my friends, their parents weren't perfect, but they weren't scatterbrained (one word?) and drugged up like the Gen-X'ers are now. I'm expecting a child soon and I know I won't have to try hard to do better than the generation before me...
Matt_M @ Dec 23rd 2006 9:40PM
I leave a match of an M rated game as soon as I can determine that there is in fact a pre-pubescent smack-talking child in there. However, I don't bail instantly because I want to make sure it is in fact a child and I'm not insulting that rare find, the girl gamer.
ceark @ Dec 24th 2006 8:27PM
if you ask me, the worst kids online are the ones that claim to be mature and whine about other "immature kids". Why? cause they're the ones most sensitive about their age and turn into little brats the moment someone says they're actin' like a kid. The whole superiority complex that they more mature then other kids just make 'em more of a pain.
Truthfully, I've played with against kids that aren't annoying as hell, infact I'd go as far as to say they were more mature then many older gamers. The problem is is that their all girls too. I guess when we're talkin' about kids, boys really are stupid.
edhe @ Dec 24th 2006 8:09AM
@24 - yeah, score man that was easy. I actually asked my dad one of the questions and he said 'why you asking' ''cos the game's 18+' 'well you shouldn't be playing it then'
Still cracked it ;)
When i come across annoying people on live i mute them, and avoid them.. That's what the tools are there for.
"No quitting!, nobody quit the game! Shriek!!" *checks round limit..=10..fk that...
Dave @ Dec 23rd 2006 10:03PM
Nobody is more irresponsible, immature and profane than your average adult gamer--which is exactly why I think we need our own channels. I don't want to be responsible for turning anyone into me.
;)
Yardarm51 @ Dec 23rd 2006 10:24PM
It is precisely this reason that a number of mature gamer sites have popped up on the intertubes. I'm a member of one that started because the founders were sick and tired of being called fags and niggers by 14 year olds while trying to play on Xbox Live. The site now has over 5000 members (admittedly not all active on the forums). While we ourselves may not be paragons of righteous behaviour (really who doesn't like administering the odd teabag) we do keep our language and comments within certain reasonable parameters. If you are sick of the kiddies then come and check out the site. [url=http://www.geezergamers.com]Geezer Gamers[/url]
Yardarm51 @ Dec 23rd 2006 10:27PM
Damn did I ever munt that link. Let's try this again... http://www.geezergamers.com
Xeno @ Dec 23rd 2006 10:30PM
As annoying as playing with kids can be, I'm more bothered by the fact that, technically, the kid could be around, and adults could be having a lewd conversation, and the kid's parents could come in the room and hear this, and try to sue for child abuse. Given, it would be dismissed, but it'd just be a hassle.
Butch @ Dec 23rd 2006 10:37PM
Wow, I dislike everyone in that dialogue.
I suppose that I why I don't bother playing many online games--I just don't want to play games with random, generally lame people.
Hooray for friend codes!
Nathan M @ Dec 23rd 2006 10:42PM
I agree with this, but I wouldn't just have an 18+ channel. I would have two or three restricted channels, being 16+ and 18+, or something along those lines. I'm sure there are some 25 years olds that would find me annoying(I'm 16), but that doesn't mean I can't find 12< year-olds annoying. I've had to deal with my fair share of squeakers on TFC. :P
jdb @ Dec 23rd 2006 10:40PM
30 - I disagree with you on the "we all were" line. Although, I imagine most children who do find themselves more mature probably aren't.
I'm 24, been married nearly a year and a half, and can honestly say that I was as mature at 13 as I am today; and no, that doesn't mean I'm some immature 24 year old, but rather than I was a very mature 13 year old.
Of course, I was also running Linux at 12, programming computers since 9, and dealing since birth with my single-parent mother who is to this day less mature than an 8 year old. I may just be the odd exception who had to "grow up" fast or whatnot, but the fact still remains that the Internet and the various adults I made friends with through MUDs and open source programming were the most positive influence I had in my younger years. I would undoubtedly be less successful in life without such influence.
The Internet's greatest feature is that it's largely age, appearance, and nationality agnostic. We should always base our interactions with others (even online) upon first impressions and what such shows of personality and maturity. Clearly this child is a F'ing retard who thinks he's "acting like an adult"; and clearly he isn't worth anyone's time and should be ignored. His age isn't the specific problem though, and there are plenty of "adults" who are just as annoying and should be ignored as well.
Namrepus221 @ Dec 23rd 2006 10:53PM
I was playing DOOM on XBL a while ago, Nice Co-op game.
Some kid came into the room and we started the game. Claimed to have played the game for 10,000 years (literally, he did say 10,000) and was roughly 12 when I asked him his age.
It get's worse. 3rd level he starts singing gangsta rap songs into the microphone, swears and all. He also called both of us (the host and myself) the N word whenever refering to us like it was going out of style.
After the host(the only good guy in the game besides myself) says he has to go away for a few minutes while he goes and eats and asks we wait for him. This little punk starts going arround and shooting at US and laughing his damn head off. Spawn camping us with a rocket launcher.
I swear to god I have never wanted to beat up a 12 year old with a crowbar so bad in my life!
Thank god the little bitch left after a while and we finished the level.
filterpunk @ Dec 23rd 2006 11:18PM
People under 18 are a large part of why I rarely play online or post on forums. Frankly, I wouldn't even mind seeing more sites tailored to people over 21.
jayntampa @ Dec 23rd 2006 11:12PM
Best Joystiq post ever. I completely agree. Time to protect the adults!
Gromdrig @ Dec 24th 2006 10:26PM
I feel bad For Hobss (that is how it is spelt).
He used to be in my Guild and
is actualy a nice guy... kid
I just worried with all the attention he is getting Good and bad it might destroy him mentally.
LethaL @ Dec 23rd 2006 11:37PM
roflmao
That's one of the funniest things I've heard on the net for ages (or at least a month..). Am I the only who cringed an uncountable amount of times in the first 2min?
While it would be nice to have those annoying squeakers restricted from certain areas I can't help but feel that they need to get flamed as much as they do to become productive members of the Internet. Imagine if they had their own cordoned off section of the net, as they hit 16 they'd progress into the big boy's Internet without learning all the small lessons about interacting with people on the net.
peyote @ Dec 23rd 2006 11:38PM
this has been long overdue & it ruins it for any of my friends that i try to go console. it's a battle sometimes having to deal with kids on xbox live.
peyote @ Dec 23rd 2006 11:41PM
the best bet is to have an option to leave comment that they're under 18 if they also have an option to play only 18 and over games. it's sad that we have to do something like this, but bad parenting & lack of forceable options from the manufacturers have led to this.
aslum @ Dec 23rd 2006 11:49PM
I really wish there was a "notify parents thier kid is being a total shit" button. I generally do avoid ASAP, but having a kid insult me because the game type I setup isn't what he wants is rather annoying, even more so when he's perfectly capable of setting up a game with whatever settings he wants. What really gets my goat as when I have to leave the game I created, and go start another to get away from that kind of abuse, and the pricks follow and continue to be verbally abusive.
I don't think the solution is 18+ areas or anything, because there are plenty of kids who can act mature, and don't appreciate that kind of crap anymore then we do. Maybe "zones" or whatever you wanna call it, where you're restricted to civil conversation only. Or a "light cursing zone". Honestly the occasional blue utterence isn't that big a deal. I can even deal w/ an occasional F-bomb. I don't want to hear racial slurs or a constant stream of derogetory remarks. If I want the F-bomb dropped every five minutes I'll watch The Big Lebowski.