Straight from G4's subterranean production facility comes video of my appearance on Attack of the Show last night. An explanation, dear readers: I haven't seen sunlight in months and the bright lights at the uplink facility rendered my ability to coherently form sentences temporarily inert for the conveniently inconvenient duration of 5 minutes ... just long enough to char my cloistered, gray skin. Ever since then, the entire world has been on a 5-second delay while I'm living in a future world, 5-seconds ahead of yours. You won't believe what happens ... NOW!
I'll give you a hint: G4 appears to be having some trouble. Buffering. Video.