XBLA Today: Heavy Weapon
by Jared Rea 
{ Jan 17th 2007 at 6:55PM }
As a game that is 26 years old and was given away for free with the original Xbox Live Arcade service, Ms. Pac-Man is quite the hard act to follow. Stepping up to the plate this week is PopCap games, provider of deliciously overpriced flash games that were also once available for free. And because Xbox Live Arcade was in serious need of some 8-way shooters, this week's game is none other than Heavy Weapon.When the Red Star Nation attacks, it's up to you and your two analogs of fury to dish out justice -- America style! More tanks than Castlevania: Symphony of the Night! More stabs at tongue-in-cheek, retro chic humor than Worms! Sure, it lacks a sufficient number of dragons to compete with Double Dragon, but it supports two more players than Robotron! Isn't that, like, totally worth your 800 Microsoft Points?
Actually, no. No it isn't. Your 800 points nets you a mildly entertaining distraction that, like most shooters on XBLA, fails to provide a sufficient enough challenge to warrant more than a slight brow raise. It so wants to deserve the title "retro", but even games from the 16-bit era such as Total Carnage managed to nail the sense of humor better. The dual-analog shooter has been done to death on XBLA and Heavy Weapon may very well be the bottom of the barrel for the service.
We suggest saving your points for something with a bit more bite to it. Mutant Storm Empire and Castle Crashers come to mind.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Mike @ Jan 17th 2007 7:17PM
Does anyone know when Alien Hominid is going to be released for XBL?
The last announced date was a month ago.
Rory D @ Jan 18th 2007 12:35AM
Wow, who pissed in your Wheaties? I downloaded the demo and enjoyed it. I'll be buying the full copy when I get out of work.
Strider_J @ Jan 17th 2007 7:32PM
I agree. Despite this new release, the XBLA line up continues to suck.
This wannabe Metal Slug, retro bite off is just another mindless, non engaging, attempt by XBLA to pass itself as a real game.
Anything from the 16-bit era of home console games had more "arcade" in them than all XBLA titles combined, thus far.
Get some REAL ARCADE games, XBLA. Yeesh.
Erwos @ Jan 17th 2007 7:39PM
Did you really just say this game "doesn't provide enough challenge"? Because, frankly, it's insanely hard once you get past level 7 or so.
(Hey, I like it.)
E.J. @ Jan 17th 2007 7:48PM
omgosh! joystiq is teh $orny luv3rs & m$ h8teRz.
...
Moving on...
It seems like the Xbox team is still on vacation, because this is a very poor showing of /original/ Arcade titles.
MJ @ Jan 17th 2007 7:52PM
OMG, that cat is so funny. This is why I love Joystiq :)
Twist @ Jan 17th 2007 7:54PM
I couldn't agree more. This game is yet another mediocre title that never should have made it past the Flash Games 101 college course it was probably conceived in. Lackluster titles like this and most of the other crap on XBLA are really making me sick of this stupid one a week thing. I love the idea of XBLA but so far I only own two titles and one of them came with the console (and never gets played) and the other is Geometry Wars HD.
Heres hoping that the home versions of XNA will help breath a little freshness into the stale XBLA lineup.
Mr BoomStick XL @ Jan 17th 2007 8:02PM
Well I don't want to "pile of the rabbit" but XBLA needs to do more. When I say this I don't mean that this games sucks. I really enjoyed playing it, but wIth that said can a simple game like this on XBLA, go up against REAL Nintendo Classics or HUGE PS3 downloads like the up-coming Tekken:DR?? They are going to have to step it up in 07' and so far it does'nt look so good!!
Ninegauger @ Jan 18th 2007 12:49AM
I'm looking forward to Castle Crashers and Alien Hominid but not much else...
rom @ Jan 17th 2007 8:36PM
Castlevania, Where are you?
Jdaman @ Jan 17th 2007 8:52PM
BoomStick:
I'm sorry but overpaying for REAL Nintendo classics isn't my cup of tea. Look at the overall package of what you get with this title. Leaderboards, achivements, co-op over Live, etc. With VC games you get the same game you played 10-15 years ago with absolutely no enhancements. Is that really what you are pulling for?
David004 @ Jan 17th 2007 9:42PM
800 points for CoD3 tomrrow!!!
MosquitoControl @ Jan 17th 2007 8:54PM
Yes, XBLA is really hurting. The last game I was excited for was Small Arms, and the demo ended that. I play Smash Brothers far more than any other game, and was hoping for a new twist, but it didn't feel write. Too much emphasis on guns, too awkward control. We quickly went back to Smashing.
Retro games are tiring. I'm not too keen on the VC for the overpriced retro games I've little interest in (with only a rare few I am), XBLA is the same.
I've said it once, I've said it again - give me a four player co-op Geometry Wars. Or a four- player update to Smash TV. Dammit, just keep giving me four player games.
Damon @ Jan 17th 2007 8:59PM
MosquitoControl, Heavy Weapon is a 4 player game.
While I agree that Rally-X and Novadrome have been.....underwhelming, some other games have been fun. I've personally enjoyed Outpost Kaloki, Cloning Clyde, Assault Heroes, Astropop, RoboBlitz and Uno.
Danzig @ Jan 17th 2007 9:43PM
I have already played this game to completion. It kicks ass!
nick @ Jan 17th 2007 9:43PM
I've never understood any of the PopCap Games on XBLA. Not only were most of these games released years ago, you can play all of them online for FREE.
Sure you can get extra content if you buy them, but I don't think there was a single game I felt compelled to play beyond what was offered for free.
If PopCap released a new title to XBLA that wasn't already available on their website, I think they'd have a MUCH better chance.
Skyway Park Bowl and Casino @ Jan 17th 2007 10:47PM
What about the Simpson's Arcade game? It was four player and it fucking ruled! If not that, does anyone remember Atari's Pit Fighter? It was Mortal Kombat before Mortal Kombat. It ruled also.
Where is Worms? I thought it was going to be out right after the CES. What's the deal?
Q @ Jan 17th 2007 11:16PM
I like the game its fun I play it on PC but i can see why some people are not to happy with this release. I dont know the point system but this game should be 4 bux tops
Ironhammer @ Jan 18th 2007 8:56PM
I enjoyed Heavy Weapon. It's a true arcade game that isn't excessively retro or a cheap port. The game's production values are top tier for XBLA. I didn't hesitate to pay 800 points for it, and I only own maybe 4-5 other arcade titles. And you have to admit that the 'demo' version is GREAT! Most of the games lately have been so crippled (just 1 level, limited functionality) they gave me no reason to want to buy. After playing the deep cut demo to level 7 I was convinced it was well worth it.
Wii360dsPC @ Jan 17th 2007 11:24PM
The XBOX Live multiplayer mode of this game rocks. For practical purposes, it's as addictive as crack. Gonna get that 12 minutes achievement!
konajinx @ Jan 18th 2007 12:23AM
Pit Fighter in no way was ever any fun? Don't believe me? Then feel free to relive it on Midway Arcade Treasures 2. Thank God Mortal Kombat came along to erase the shit that was the Pit.
Watership @ Jan 18th 2007 1:55AM
XBLA is proof that meeting people's expectations is near to impossible.
Billyok @ Jan 18th 2007 2:31AM
Geez, no one enjoyed Assault Heroes? What do you people want, anyway? Or is it just not trendy yet to like a game that isn't Geometry Wars?
Deano @ Jan 18th 2007 10:43AM
Totally agree.
I've only bought Geo Wars, MBU, Bejeweled and that Uno game I think. MBU is one of the best games on Arcade and yet hasn't been patched to fix the friends leaderboards nor will there be any extra content. Absolute disgrace.
BTW I love that cat.
Burnt Meatloaf @ Jan 18th 2007 5:10AM
At least XBLA games have demos.
Keef @ Jan 18th 2007 7:55AM
where do u get them damn cat pics!?
baby sea tuna @ Jan 18th 2007 11:41AM
Jesus, time to break out the Haterade. I'm all for having your own opinion, Joystiq, but you really need to stop trying to "review" games. I mean, do you even play them first? You might wanna play to your strengths and just stick to reprinting news from other outlets...
polly @ Jan 18th 2007 10:56AM
Well, by no means am I saying that it's a great game or anything, but in all fairness it's probably one of the best demos for an XBLA game I've played. I kept waiting to get the "End of trial...buy it now" message, but it kept going to the next level. Not worth 800 pts though...few are I think. But Assault Heroes and Small Arms are pretty worthwhile. XBLA just needs better prices and more frequent releases. I'd REALLY like to see a true port of the old X-MEN arcade game. That would be phenomenal. But ya, Castle Crashers, Worms and SotN need to get here post haste.
lothar @ Jan 18th 2007 2:27PM
Billyok, I agree Assult Heroes is a great game. Lots of fun and I still havent played it with a buddy yet.
The only problem that I have with XBox Live isnt the content but rather the pricing. There are good games on Live but not worth the cost. I only purchased 2 games Geometry Wars and Assault Heroes. There are a few games on there that I really want like Bankshot Billiards, Zuma, but the prices are completely unreasonable. Why isnt there Live Platinum titles either, high demand Live titles offered at a discounted price?
rdj75 @ Jan 18th 2007 9:01PM
I really enjoyed the title myself and the difficulty seemed to increase quite a bit as I progressed through the game. As for the price, I really don't see it being that bad. Back in the day when I used to go to arcades, me and my friends could easily blow through $10 to $20 in quarters in a few hours, then to go home with nothing to show for it other than bragging rights. Atleast I can play the hell out of this game and continue playing it when I want at my leisure with myself or my friends.