Historical figures and game addiction [update 1]

by Kyle Orland { Jan 18th 2007 at 11:25AM }

Today's Frazz got us thinking about how the existence of video games and the Internet would have affected the career paths of some of history's greatest figures. Just picture it: Isaac Asimov as the world's most prolific "PS3 vs. Wii" message board poster; Mozart as a world-famous Guitar Hero virtuoso on YouTube; Homer's Odyssey as a mildly sucessful ancient greek Grand Theft Auto clone. How do you think the lives of other historical figures would be affected by video games?

[Update: Fixed typo in Guitar Hero title. Whoops!]

Tags: authors, comic, frazz, Poe, world of warcraft, WorldOfWarcraft

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Saint Jouten @ Jan 18th 2007 11:32AM

First Post!! =P

Shouldn't it be guitar?

"...Mozart as a world-famous Guiar Hero virtuoso..."

Jerk Face @ Jan 18th 2007 11:46AM

Shagi, thanks for being a douche bag.

32_Footsteps @ Jan 18th 2007 11:50AM

Actually, I bet Abe Lincoln would be an invenerate Tetris player. He was well-known for being addicted to snooker back in the day; he would probably be attached to a Game Boy at the hip.

For interest, I bet Huey Long would have been obsessed with SimCity and the like, trying on a video game all the changes he wanted to actually make to government.

When Joshua Abraham Norton (AKA Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico) proclaimed himself emperor, I bet the press would have blamed it on him playing too many FPS games. Even if all the other events of his life had been exactly the same.

Finally, we'd know Isaac Newton not only for discovering gravity, laying the groundwork for calculus, and trying to prove alchemy was real, we'd also know Newton as perhaps the most obsessive-compulsive writer GameFAQs has ever known.

32_Footsteps @ Jan 18th 2007 11:53AM

Now, now, JF. Let's not feed the trolls. Let's just appreciate the fact that we get to witness someone misspell the phrase "I am smarter than you."

One of the fun things about the Internet is that half the time, idiots manage to prove themselves wrong without any effort on your part.

Dansk @ Jan 18th 2007 12:01PM

Shouldnt we be more interested in knowing what WE could become if we didnt spend so much time on videogames?

joe @ Jan 18th 2007 12:02PM

hitler would have been a master at photoshop.

Intentless @ Jan 18th 2007 12:02PM

I'd be more concerned than interested actually... sigh...

socrates @ Jan 18th 2007 12:03PM

Pope Adrian III would have totally used Alucard in Castlevania 3, not Grant or Sylpha!

Marco Polo would have thought the Wii's non HD graphics were lame at first, but eventually got sucked into Wii Sports!

Eirik Bloodaxe would totally be upgrading his gaming rig in anticipation of Crysis!

Boethius would try City of Heroes once, then swear off MMORPGs for good!

Uh...this topic is kind of dumb.

DeltaP42 @ Jan 18th 2007 12:04PM

Instead of starting one of the most horrific wars in the modern age, I think Hitler would have just played alot of Call Of Duty or Medal Of Honor.....oh wait.....

Sloar @ Jan 18th 2007 12:11PM

@footsteps

Now that was funny. Yes, if Shagi is "smarter then me", I want a refund on my Master's degree. I think I might remember that post the rest of my life. Thank you Shagi, thank you. Do you do birthday parties?

Donald @ Jan 18th 2007 12:11PM

I would so be arranging Pokemon trades with Steve Irwin, Steven Jay Gould, and Charles Darwin.

Skwurl @ Jan 18th 2007 12:14PM

"I AM SMARTER THEN YOU"

Lol.

I think you mean...'than' you. Shagi, do you hear that bell?

It means that recess is over.

jc @ Jan 18th 2007 12:20PM

Einstein would have dropped physics and become hooked on 'The Sims'... where he would develop his 'theory of relatives'.

Jeff @ Jan 18th 2007 12:29PM

Does kinda make you wonder about the dearth of real leaders we have in this country right now, not to mention our slippage in areas like the number of science graduates we've had over the past decade or so. How many great people are just never reaching their potential because they're wasting all their time on video games?

I know it's hard for some people to remember it, but there was a time when you had to make up your own activities to fill in your free time. Those were the days of Newton, Da Vinci, even Einstein. Nowadays you just plop yourself down in front of a couch and either watch one of the 500 channels of TV or throw in a video game. Even on the go, we don't read anymore, we just play our DS or PSP.

I'm sure I sound like an old coot, and compared to some of the readers here, I probably am. But if you look at the rise of video games (and other forms of media) combined with some of the other things going on in our culture over the past 30 years, I don't see how you rule out a correlation.

jeph @ Jan 18th 2007 12:59PM

Shagi, I hope you did that for the lawlz

Sloar @ Jan 18th 2007 12:52PM

"yourselfs"? Yep, definitely smarter.

PapaChabre @ Jan 18th 2007 4:50PM

Keep diggin' that hole, Shagi. Pretty soon you'll have us convinced that you actually ARE mentally retarded.

By the way, I like Ruggles icecream and so all of you Edy's-eating FAGGOTS can DIE AND ROT IN HELL!!!111one

PerfectBowler @ Jan 18th 2007 12:56PM

@ 13

Thank you for the laugh.

I see Shagi as the type of kid that really bothers me at Gamestop with a speach impediment. Like "Mommy pweath get me a P.Th. Thwee. I weally need it. Wob next doow hath one. Pa pa pa pweeze" Grow some pubes Shagi. Hopefully you can mow enough lawns this summer to afford the PS3.

Pixelantes Anonymous @ Jan 18th 2007 1:34PM

How about the Unabomber? Man, if he'd been a video game addict, he'd never have bombed anyone :)

I think if Mozart was a Guitar Hero addict, he'd become a multi-billionaire rhythm game author in no time. He would've used the platform to get his creativity out there. There'd be a whole line of Mozart Games (tm) products, which all would blow away all the current day rhythm games. Too bad about the symphonies...

Thad @ Jan 18th 2007 1:51PM

"Homer's Odyssey as a mildly sucessful ancient greek Grand Theft Auto clone"

It seems to me that if a blind man managed to create even a mildly successful video game, that would STILL be a pretty amazing accomplishment.

samfish @ Jan 18th 2007 1:59PM

Well, if they're anything like me, they'd probably never do anything because Einstein and Mozart and Ghandi and friends would've all been to busy masturbating to porn on the Wii several times a day.

...oh, damn. Did I just admit that?

Jonathan Tran @ Jan 18th 2007 2:40PM

South Korea would have won every military conflict in history.

alexanderwales @ Jan 18th 2007 3:42PM

The Unabomber was a Luddite. He would not have played videogames. The whole reason that he bombed people is that he was trying to get society to see the dangers of modern technology (not bombs so much as virtual worlds and artificial intelligence). What most people don't realize is that he wasn't just some crazy bomber - he had both a Masters and PhD. The entire point of the bombing campaign was that we need to reject technology and return to the natural life.

Personally, if I didn't play videogames, I don't think I would be doing anything more with my life - I would probably just fill the time with television or beer pong.