We just received some breaking news from The Onion. They are reporting that Pennsylvania resident Ronald Franks only needs two more trips to Best Buy to complete the Gears of War campaign. Ronald has been bringing his memory card to the retailer for the past three weeks and feels that he can beat the game in a few more trips. Though, he says that when he gets to the final boss he'll "probably take a personal day to defeat RAAM". We wish Mr. Franks the best of luck in his quest to complete Gears and hope his Barnes & Noble copying trips are just as successful. Where would we be without hard hitting news like this?
We just received some breaking news from The Onion. They are reporting that Pennsylvania resident Ronald Franks only needs two more trips to Best Buy to complete the Gears of War campaign. Ronald has been bringing his memory card to the retailer for the past three weeks and feels that he can beat the game in a few more trips. Though, he says that when he gets to the final boss he'll "probably take a personal day to defeat RAAM". We wish Mr. Franks the best of luck in his quest to complete Gears and hope his Barnes & Noble copying trips are just as successful. Where would we be without hard hitting news like this?
Reader Comments (20)
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 3:12AM (Unverified) said
Ah, the perks of frugality...
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 3:02AM (Unverified) said
ROFL! Knowing the way the world works he's gonna go in the store to defeat RAAM and wouldn't ya know it they switched the display console's game from Gears of War to Viva Pinata. Oh man it would be sweet to see him go AWOL on everyone.
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 3:04AM (Unverified) said
How dare this man NOT buy this game?!! But, i admire his strong will to be cheap and to play GoW without fail. You, sir, are a COG. Anyway, whats the next big game to come out?
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 3:07AM (Unverified) said
HAHAHA! Yeah he would turn into the Hulk immediately! But, it would make him buy the game instead of freeloading off of Best Buy!
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 3:26AM DjDATZ said
lol...awesome...seein him go nuts would be hilarious...lol
altho once they see this...they will probably change the display LOL
altho once they see this...they will probably change the display LOL
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 3:36AM (Unverified) said
Ehhh... As hard as I try I just can't seem to notice any irony in the posts above.
Y'all are aware that the Onion is 100% fake, right?
If not, then check out a couple of God's press conferences:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28151
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27751
I love GOW, though. :)
Y'all are aware that the Onion is 100% fake, right?
If not, then check out a couple of God's press conferences:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28151
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27751
I love GOW, though. :)
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 4:19AM DjDATZ said
great...now i feel really stupid. thanks Johan. LOL
i also couldn't help but notice the store name in this post is "Best Best" and not Best Buy. But i guess a mistake like that is acceptable when you post an article at 2:45am. lol
i also couldn't help but notice the store name in this post is "Best Best" and not Best Buy. But i guess a mistake like that is acceptable when you post an article at 2:45am. lol
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 5:19AM antifuse said
Wow, at least *somebody* pointed out that the Onion is a satire paper. Phew! I loved this one when I read it though...
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 5:19AM (Unverified) said
Yeah I'm pretty sure you meant "Best Buy" rather than Best Best. Thought you knew something I didn't.
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 5:49AM (Unverified) said
When I worked in a gamestore there was this guy who had a psone memorycard (third party with tons of space) but didnt have the console himself. Almost every day he came to the shop and plyed games and saved his progress. nomatter what game was on.
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 6:15AM (Unverified) said
*completely understands satirical nature of the onion* he's probably too young to buy the game ... so he goes and plays it in public
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 7:16AM (Unverified) said
A blog post on The Onion. Hoolarious.
If I were X360fanboy I would remove this post right now just so people don't laugh at them even more.
If I were X360fanboy I would remove this post right now just so people don't laugh at them even more.
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 7:21AM (Unverified) said
Like Johan, I am struggling to find any sarcasm in the post and the first few comments (though I wasn't up at 3:36am like Johan to clear it up).
The Onion is, of course, satire (and hilarious satire at that). 100% fake. In other words, this wasn't supposed to be "hard hitting news" - it was a joke.
The Onion is, of course, satire (and hilarious satire at that). 100% fake. In other words, this wasn't supposed to be "hard hitting news" - it was a joke.
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 7:29AM (Unverified) said
Glad you all think that this is true news.
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 7:55AM (Unverified) said
Reading through the comments, I kinda thought people were all playing along with the story *as if* it were real. I can't believe by today that people still don't know what the Onion is.
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 8:19AM (Unverified) said
One of my friends worked in a computer retail store a while back and they had a 360 set up to a 42" screen. I could have gone there and played all I wanted I suppose, but the game they had on was Need for Speed Most Wanted (which I had already played enough at home), and they used the composite cable for the hookup, and the console was a Core with no memory.
So it could be possible, if you have friends that work at the store.
So it could be possible, if you have friends that work at the store.
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 8:29AM DjDATZ said
i've personally never heard of the onion...but i think thats because its geared towards a US audience...and i live and breathe canada.
i'll admit tho...i did think this was true...seemed like a stupid thing to do...but still believable.
and i do feel stupid for believing it. lol
i'll admit tho...i did think this was true...seemed like a stupid thing to do...but still believable.
and i do feel stupid for believing it. lol
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 9:47AM (Unverified) said
Thats hilarious!
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 10:00AM (Unverified) said
I have one tip, get a friend to help u beat the last boss or the entire game itself!!
Posted: Feb 7th 2007 11:15AM (Unverified) said
"The Onion is, of course, satire (and hilarious satire at that). 100% fake. In other words, this wasn't supposed to be "hard hitting news" - it was a joke."
Tim gets a cookie :)
Tim gets a cookie :)
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