Finding the job of your dreams is very much a process of finding just the right balance. Much like a tightrope walker carefully inching his way across a length of cord, the employee-to-be is trying to stay on his feet through a job that is rewarding both personally and financially. In fact, this is precisely why actual tightrope walkers often end up falling to their extremely painful deaths
. Circus pay sucks.
Admittedly, the millions and occasionally billions
of dollars afforded to me by tracking and commenting on the Japanese sales charts made my decision to explore other careers all the more difficult. Just last week, I embarked on a job-finding quest, hoping to discover something new and more spirtually enriching. After the break, you'll learn just how spendidly my job interview went.
- DS Lite: 201,177
- Wii: 78,550
- PSP: 32,175
- PS3: 23,431
- PS2: 16,033
- Xbox 360: 4,811
- GBA SP: 980
- Game Boy Micro: 884
- Gamecube: 383
- DS Phat: 121
- GBA: 36
[Source: Media Create
]See also: Previous Japanese hardware sales charts
"Ah, Mister ... Kiteman, is it?"
"No, I think that's probably a Mega Man
villain. It's Kietzmann."
"Oh dear. Please accept my apology."
"Okay, but I'm not returning it."
"You're not returning what?"
"Why would you apologize?"
"No, I mean you gave
me your apology and now it's mine. It's sort of a joke, a play on words?"
"Ah. You're a funny one."
"Yeah. I mean, no. Not in that way. Or whatever you were thinking. Right."
"Which position are you interested in?"
"Uh, the Finnish Sales Chart Tracker. "
"Do you have any prior experience?"
"Yes, I followed and wrote about the Japanese sales charts for Joystiq. I did it for round about 8 months, I'd say."
"Any computer skills?"
"Absolutely, the internet is practically like a second language to me! I have lots and lots of skill-sores."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Skill-sores. I have them.
"I'm so sorry to hear that."
"But, isn't it a good thing?"
"Well, I'm not sure, really. Are they contagious? It sounds like they would be."
"No, I ... I don't
believe so. At least not in my line of work, I'm-a-ho."
"You're a what
"In my honest opinion
, you know?"
"I don't think that's the sort of thing you can have an opinion
on, son. Either you are or you aren't... and I'm not even sure how you manage to be one."
"Well, I've had years of experience and, if I can speak frankly, I find it's easy once you know who your audience is. You just need to use the right words, a-fake."
"You use a fake one? Is that how you manage to fool your, ahem, audience
"No no, as far as I know
"You're not even sure anymore? That's just sick!"
"I'll tell you what. You get your sore-covered body of filth and trickery out of my office and I'll pretend this never happened."
"I see. I guess that's goodbye then."
"Also, since you're pretending this never happened, can I get a do-over?"