How to get your girlfriend to play video games
by Kevin Kelly 
{ Mar 5th 2007 at 10:55AM }
Speaking from years of experience, we know how hard it can be to get your girlfriend interested in playing video games. Granted, it might be impossible to drag her into play-til-dawn Halo 2 sessions online, but dropping into casual gaming with a Wario Ware: Smooth Moves round or two is entirely doable. Need some tips? Wikihow has an entry up on how to get your girlfriend to play video games, which offers up some gender stereotypes like this:
- "Don't get games that involve things like strippers, prostitutes, and sex. Unless she has a really good sense of humor about such things, she probably won't like it."
For those of you who need a girlfriend in order to find this article useful, check out Wikihow's hilarious "How to get a girlfriend if you're a nerd" entry. We're not sure whether to laugh or cry. For all of you female gamers out there, let us know how they could improve this entry, and don't worry about being gentle ... blast away.
[Thanks, WebPimp]
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Jack of No Trades @ Mar 5th 2007 10:58AM
My girl only plays Mario All-Stars & Super Mario World crap.
RYAN @ Mar 5th 2007 11:01AM
lol my wife games almost as much as I do :)
when we got married I inherited a massive collection of ps1/2 squenix rpg's. You gotta love a woman with more hours logged on FFVII than you. You just gotta.
RYAN @ Mar 5th 2007 11:05AM
you know what my wife said to me yesterday morning when we crawled out of bed?
"honey why don't you play paper mario: thousand year door for 4 or 5 hours? You need to beat if before Super Paper Mario comes out next month and I'd like to watch you play"
I = WINNARRRRRRRRRRRRR lol
FrankTheCrank @ Mar 5th 2007 11:09AM
SHE's HOT!
My wife could care less....she reads fiction, I swing my Wii-mote around like a moron.
Finn @ Mar 5th 2007 11:07AM
LOL only one or 2 games of Wario Ware. I couldn't get her off the stupid thing last night, she played for 4 hours.
Myke @ Mar 5th 2007 11:08AM
Some of my lady's favs:
Mario Kart 64 & Double Dash
Jet Grind Radio (dreamcast)
Virtua Tennis (dreamcast)
Wii Baseball
GTA: San Andreas
HappyJack @ Mar 5th 2007 11:11AM
"Whacked"? The term is "wack" ... and it had an expiration date of Aug. 24th, 1998.
Seriously.
sheppy @ Mar 5th 2007 11:19AM
Heh, I once had a hardcore gamer girlfriend. Eventually, it got creepy. Like scary creepy. She started calling me her Squall and even bought me the pendant....
FragDoll_Jam @ Mar 5th 2007 11:22AM
I'm constantly trying to coax my boyfriend to play more videogames so I don't feel bad hogging the controller most of the time. It can be very frustrating if your significant other isn't a gamer, and it's rewarding if you stumble upon a game you both enjoying playing. There's a videogame out there for everyone, regardless of gender.
Still, well done Wiki for producing a non-patronising or sexist article.
Jessica @ Mar 5th 2007 11:20AM
Tips...
Don't be an asshole and make me wait half the day for my turn to play. Alternate after an hour or two.
Take at least a slight interest in my games. If you want to bore me for days with Civ 785 or Ultima 492 for days, freaking play some Katamari with me.
Don't make fun of me. If you give me such a hard time when I mess up when learning a new game that I cry, you are not only not going to game with me, you are going to sleep on the couch.
Don't make gaming a contentious issue. If I have to fight you to get off the games to do something important, I resent them and don't want to buy them as gifts or play them with you.
Don't be a big baby and break your games and controllers in a rage when you suck at your games. It sucks that you suck, but really, grow up.
Project Vendetta @ Mar 5th 2007 11:23AM
But you are forgetting about the great “whack” resurgence of 2006, which was followed by the “my bad” resurgence of 2007.
As for my Fiancée, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night to find her playing New Super Mario Brothers in bed, and I can’t help to be grateful that I have a gamer girl.
RYAN @ Mar 5th 2007 11:20AM
this article is radical, I mean...bodacious, I mean....that's TIGHT, i mean....keep on truckin' joystiq!
Jonathan Tran @ Mar 5th 2007 11:21AM
My fiancee is really competitive, so she will play most games but honestly if she loses once (after her first time), she will never play again. She used to play DoA and Virtua Tennis, but the second I won twice in a row she quit, even if she had a previous streak of 20 wins. wtf?!
Kevout @ Mar 5th 2007 11:26AM
Buy a Wii and you will be able to bone Jessica Alba
D @ Mar 5th 2007 11:23AM
I got my girlfriend interested in games by always going "hey, you wanna try this?" She would always do the "no, that's ok, it's too much for me." So I found the key is co-op, that is the first step.
Now she's a Gears freak, gets up early to play Crackdown when I'm still sleeping is a proud DS owner and is waiting for some badassedness for Wii.
32_Footsteps @ Mar 5th 2007 11:30AM
You know, I've found that women in relationships with gamers take a shine to at least one fighting game. It varies from relationship to relationship, but there will be at least one fighting game a given woman-dating-gamer will go for.
In my case, there are three currently - Guilty Gear X2, SoulCalibur 2, and Tekken 3 (though my wife doesn't like 4 or 5). And it's worth noting that my wife cheeses Anji-Mito so hard, it's painful.
Also, build off of a game that she already likes, and expand her horizons. If your girl likes Super Mario Bros., get her to play another solid platformer that has a few more interesting things thrown in (like Sly Cooper or Ratchet & Clank). It works, trust me.
Finally, don't be afraid to go for something that has a "cute" factor if your SO is particularly girly. Sometimes, you have to use something cute as bait to lure out their competitive sides.
cpt @ Mar 5th 2007 11:33AM
My girlfriend's all time favorit is diablo 2.... and she's still playing world of warcraft long after I've quit. I never got her interested in FPS though.
Jack of No Trades @ Mar 5th 2007 11:37AM
@ 32 footsteps
I tried doing that but it won't stick.
She liked Guilty Gear X2, Conker and Ninja Gaiden for a while but she always goes back to old school Mario 3 (she can't beat world 8, damn ship levels).
superbagman @ Mar 5th 2007 11:38AM
Two words, Kingdom Hearts. My fiancee is a big Disney fanatic, so I got her into gaming with Kingdom Hearts. She actually got a PS2 specifically so she could play that one game. It was like a gateways drug, before I knew it she was playing Final Fantasy X and getting up at the crack of dawn to fish in Animal Crossing. I bequeethed my DS Phat to her when I upgraded to the Lite and now she is addicted to Brain Age , WarioWare Touched and Hotel Dusk. She was very interested in the Wii, but it was nowhere near the reason she got into gaming. She's not a hardcore gamer now, or anything, but at least she understands gaming a bit better. (even if she doesn't exactly get the difference between Ubisoft's different Tom Clancy games)
Leshrac @ Mar 5th 2007 11:38AM
My girlfriend will really get into some games, but then take a break from all games for awhile. For instance, GTA3, FF7, and WOW she probably put over a 100 hours into. She also made her way through Bully in short time, has been playing a bit of "The Movies" , and also managed to get good enough at Lumines Live to actually kick the crap out of my high score. She's also gotten pretty into the Tony Hawk series, SSX, and the Silent Hill series.
Other than the puzzler and "extreme sports" titles, it seems the similarities in these games are their slower pace or open-endedness. She doesn't really like FPS games very much, and while she has been impressed with things like God of War (and the God of War 2 demo), it typically hasn't interested her that much.
-Leshrac
http://alinktothefuture.com
Miles @ Mar 5th 2007 11:49AM
Whoa ! Joystiq is blowing this subject right off the frame. I'll answer the question: realize that your girlfriend probably grew up playing video games so she'll fucking play them because you're both in your late teens or twenties and its not 1993 when women didn't play video games. Or waste kilobytes telling everyone to get their girlfriend to play Katamary , DDR or anything on the Wii. I hope my post will keep this dead fucking, weak subject from ever being reported on again.
BTW, I don't hate any of the games I mentioned just this stupid ass subject. I hope after this they put up a poll asking if we think video games lead to violence.
polly @ Mar 5th 2007 11:51AM
...so...hot...
Draco @ Mar 5th 2007 11:55AM
my girlfriend had a PS1 when all I had was a genesis, but she still doesn't game, except for two examples.
Brain Age's Sudoku, there is no way he will find a better game then that. and she plays a game that I'm not sure what its called, I think Zoo Keeper, its a puzzle game, my fience and my roomates girlfriend fight over that game. (my fience uses my DS and my roomates gf uses her DSL)
RYAN @ Mar 5th 2007 12:02PM
my wife's fighter of choice is Project Justice for the dreamcast, or Rival Schools (PJ's prequel) on our ps1.
Austin @ Mar 5th 2007 12:26PM
This can easily backfire. Remember if you do like playing long hours of FPS's she cannot play with you. Getting her into halo is like handicapping your shields before playing slayer. My girl loves games but she plays on the old xbox or classic systems. More likely is for her to sit there and read magazines for a few hours while i play. If she likes your games you will have to share every time you want to play. This is not fun (think about the long term here). The best thing to do is find something she likes to do around the house that does not involve you. She can enjoy that for hours while you play. Remind her that you are both doing things you like and that the other will not want to do (every one wins here).
Alice @ Mar 5th 2007 12:13PM
Just yesterday I was partying with a couple who were discussing how GuyX needs to fix GirlY's computer so they can lan later. He had introduced her to WoW and from there, every game imaginable. Pin down her personality - what kind of game would she enjoy? Would she want something kind of easy (Animal Crossing) or challenging (puzzle games)? Would she enjoy blowing things up (FPS) or a rich story (RPG)? Would she want to play with a bunch of other people (MMO)? If she doesn't like one thing, try another. If she doesn't like any of them deal with it. Some people just don't like video games. Don't push them onto her, that will make her hate when YOU play. And of course don't make it a competition. New comers to any kind of activity get discouraged if they think they suck.
I'd also like to say that, as a girl gamer since age three, we are much more prevalent than one might expect. If you hang out in the right spots chances are you will meet one. Your new problem will probably be "How to stop getting your girlfriend from kicking your ass at video games." ;)
ShortFuse @ Mar 5th 2007 12:19PM
My sister likes WarioWave (Wii) and Guitar Hero
My gf has a DS-Lite and likes Cooking Mama, New Super Mario Bros, Mario Kart (DS & GCN). I'm s'posed to give her my Cube now that I got a Wii. She likes Smash.
She also has an original NES at home and plays Super Mario Bros and Duck Hunt. Oh yeah, you're jealous.
Rutilcaper @ Mar 5th 2007 12:22PM
Don't be a big baby and break your games and controllers in a rage when you suck at your games. It sucks that you suck, but really, grow up.
What the hell is that about? I don't laugh when you guys cry during Grey's Anatomy. The other night I got a hissy fit thrown at me because I let a couple coarse words fly during a Lost Planet session.
Brent @ Mar 5th 2007 12:26PM
Here is what I've had success with in trying to get my non-gaming girlfriend to play and/or watch them. First, she loves Lumines and Guitar Hero. She does NOT like to play 1st person games (she says she gets dizzy). She likes Gauntlet. She hates all sports games. Finally, she enjoys watching me play Shadow of the Colossus...in fact, she made me promise to only play it when she's around :-) Anyways, I hope maybe this helps some guys out there.
sheppy @ Mar 5th 2007 12:28PM
@Jessica.
"Don't make fun of me. If you give me such a hard time when I mess up when learning a new game that I cry, you are not only not going to game with me, you are going to sleep on the couch."
This is what I never understood about gamers. This elitist attitude and dubbing the term "nOOb" in general. I could understand if, within their first hour of gaming, all these gamers were able to jump up, snipe three headshots across the map, and land safely. But truth of the matter is every gamer had a learning period. This behavior is what pushes new DDR players out of the arcades (where their money would go very far in paying for that Supernova upgrade but the DDR veterans would rather act like asses and prevent new players and new money from supporting their fetish).
Jaks @ Mar 5th 2007 12:37PM
another strategy would be to demand that more games are made that appeal to women...
Jessica @ Mar 5th 2007 12:44PM
---Don't be a big baby and break your games and controllers in a rage when you suck at your games. It sucks that you suck, but really, grow up.
What the hell is that about? I don't laugh when you guys cry during Grey's Anatomy. The other night I got a hissy fit thrown at me because I let a couple coarse words fly during a Lost Planet session.---
I don't smash the remote into the tv and snap my Grey's DVDs in half when the show is sad. Do you see how that is different?
Get mad if you want. But don't bust up the place.
Savok @ Mar 5th 2007 12:47PM
I have some girlfriend advice of my own; never go near any woman who would willingly wear that hat, jesus.
Harold @ Mar 5th 2007 1:45PM
Jessica Alba definately needs a SIXAXIS or a Wiimote!
Jeff @ Mar 5th 2007 1:05PM
"You know, I've found that women in relationships with gamers take a shine to at least one fighting game."
True in my experience, at least. My wife's no gamer but she's always up for a game of Soul Calibur. She doesn't like every fighting game out there - I tried DOA3 on her and she was literally embarrassed to be playing it - but she loves some good SC action.
The thing about fighting games and non-gamers, including female non-gamers, is that they're a) easy enough to play without really knowing what you're doing, and b) the best ones can be really beautiful to watch even beyond the gameplay. You can press a button combo totally by accident and see a really cool move and you're like "whoa, look what I just did!" Girls respond to that. I think most women do probably also like being able to directly compete against their boyfriends/husbands - it's no different than going bowling or playing air hockey or anything else, which husbands and wives have done together forever. It's not that women aren't competitive; they are. They just need the right game.
For my wife, VF4 is too technical and DOA3 is too overtly sexual, but the Soul Calibur series is just right. She even beats me quite often, despite her button-mashing-ness.
Jeff @ Mar 5th 2007 1:08PM
"I have some girlfriend advice of my own; never go near any woman who would willingly wear that hat, jesus."
So you'd kick Jessica Alba out of bed because you didn't like her hat.
Strange priorities, man.
REUYL @ Mar 5th 2007 1:08PM
Jessica Alba sucks at video games.
Darn shame.
ssuk @ Mar 5th 2007 1:10PM
I have a simpler method, say "Hey, wanna game of _game_?" it usually works... =P
Trixie @ Mar 5th 2007 1:15PM
I bought my bf the Shinra lapel pin & card case, since he could be mistaken as a Shinra member, he bought me a Sabotender & Moogle plush... heh, we're cute gamers. Anything that has two player mode... we've played it.
Grant @ Mar 5th 2007 2:26PM
Miles,
"BTW, I don't hate any of the games I mentioned just this stupid ass subject. I hope after this they put up a poll asking if we think video games lead to violence."
You got way too mad there buddy, and while your right in the fact that it isn't 1993, and gaming isn't the devoid wasteland it was, girl gaming is hardly the flourishing metropolis you claim it is.
i personally think the anger in your post spawns from an inner hate for women, and you probably fit into the "elitist" category who calls everyone a "n00b" and smash your controllers every 7 minutes.
On the other hand i do have a girlfriend who has played a few games growing up, but can be hardly called a "gamer".
while she is not adverse to gaming, she's never actually bought a game herself, and can be talked into games as long as they are bright, cheery, and look a bit like a candy shop/saturday morning cartoon.
from the op:
"Don't get games that involve things like strippers, prostitutes, and sex. Unless she has a really good sense of humor about such things, she probably won't like it."
oddly enough, when i meantioned the ability to have sex with and kill hookers, she wanted to play GTA immediately.
and if none of the methods in the article work, i advise tying her to a chain and whipping her with a rubber hose until she submits.
faboo @ Mar 5th 2007 1:52PM
puzzle games are the way to go. Tetris, Dr. Mario or Puyo Pop. keep it simple, let her play a game that she can entertain herself with. if its a two player game... let her win once in awhile, but make sure you think she won on her own. it makes her feel that she can beat you. you never know, one she may actually beat you fairly.
my gf liked Katamari, but found the controls a little confusing. so, she would rather watch me, than play. i guess she has never played any of those tank simulator games. racing games are good, but again keep it simple, like mario kart or even burnout. it worries me that she enjoys crashing into cars more than racing.
0ldb0y @ Mar 5th 2007 3:16PM
It's no fun playing Tetris or Puzzle Fighter against my girlfriend.
I'm pretty good.
And she keeps kicking my butt...
Nino @ Mar 5th 2007 2:34PM
I like games myself, a nice healthy wide variety of genres, but all the other gamer girls I know just play RPGs and obsess about anime. It's really annoying because I like games that are reflex-based.
My recommendation would be to either find a girl who already likes games or don't even bother. Usually people know what they like and I've had boyfriends who don't like games at all and nothing I could have done would have convinced them to get into them.
Ennska @ Mar 5th 2007 3:04PM
My boyfriend bought me a few games and is pretty good at knowing what I'd enjoy and what I wouldn't ("I'm thinking about buying FFIII for DS..." "You won't play it/You won't like it." He was right, I have about 5 hours on it and I'm back to EBA)
He bought me Yoshi's Island DS and it's a lot of fun to play except when I get stuck in places. Then I try three billion more times, pout and hand it over to darling BF and he passes it for me. I'll watch him and then try to attempt the same feat. I was never good at platformers, but they're fun. I definitely wouldn't enjoy games as much if I didn't have him to help me through the tough parts.
When he and I met, we didn't know how involved each other were into gaming. We found out that we both used to play the same MMO (FFXI) but quit (he, I don't know why. I, because I didn't have anyone to play with) Somewhere down the line we picked it up again, starting over from scratch. It's been a lot of fun to be able to do something cooperatively. Playing games has brought us together in ways that we wouldn't have been able to before.
I think its important to remember for guys that gaming girls are still girls. Remember to do girl-things for her. Take her out to dinner, buy her flowers (if she likes them) You can do something special for her in-game, but don't forget to do non-gaming things too. (I know this last part is pretty stereotyping of what girls like, but you guys get what I'm trying to say right?)
ThePete @ Mar 5th 2007 3:15PM
Hey! Where'd you get a picture of my girlfriend playing a video game?
HAW HAW
Sorry, had to do it.
I think the suggestion that women don't like video games is full of it. Almost every woman I know plays video games (well, not my mom). And I take issue with the advice of not getting games that involve sex--yeah, good point! Women don't like sex at all! o_O
Sure, the prostitute-beating/killing of GTA may not be a big hit, but surely a complete ban on games involving sex isn't necessary...
My wife has a DS Phat, plays Katamari with me almost every time I pick up the PS2 controller and would play more if she had the time--which is pretty much the same thing for me, though I have a DS Lite, and a Phat.
So there.
And yes, my wife knows about Jessica and me and she approves. How could she not?
I'M SO FUNNY, DAMMIT.
Becky Young @ Mar 5th 2007 3:15PM
It's always tough to try to say "This is what wants" This really goes for guys and girls. Just because a game is bloody and violent doesn't mean it's going to skyrocket to the top of guys charts. Just because a game has puppies and pink ribbons doesn't mean a girl will like it.
I think the BEST way to find out what kind of games your girlfriend likes is simply spending the time gaming with her. Just show her all the games YOU are playing.. take her to the store and let her pick out a game. Talk to her about gaming and what you like about it. Knowlege my friends, is power.
It's less about stereotyping of gender than it is about personal choice. I think the idea of spending the time TOGETHER will be a positive experience for both of you and in turn, make gaming seem positive in HER eyes as well.
C E @ Mar 5th 2007 3:32PM
Got my girlfriend hooked with the DS and she will pay the wii from time to time. She will not touch the 360 or PS3 she feels the games are too complicated. This is why nintendo will own this generation for it's mass appeal.
Pikachelsea @ Mar 5th 2007 3:43PM
"For all of you female gamers out there, let us know how they could improve this entry, and don't worry about being gentle ... blast away."
I'm a female gamer, and here's how I'd improve this entry... by not writing it.
Sounds bitter? Just take one second and try to imagine how SHE feels. Envision for a moment that your girlfriend reading an article called "How to get your boyfriend to never play videogames again". Wouldn't you feel a bit insulted and annoyed about her "boyfriend improvement" scheme? I'm willing to bet you would.
Instead of trying to change your girlfriend and constantly nagging her to partake in your hobbies which she has absolutely zero interest in, just get over it. Nobody likes to be bugged about getting into something that does not appeal to them whatsoever (or do you guys like it when your girlfriend gets on your case to work out more often or take up knitting?). If you've asked her to play and she's repeatedly declined, then you already have your answer. Move on.
If it's that important to you, date somebody else who is already a gamer. Can't find one? Welcome to reality, where you'll never find the perfect woman. Sucks, I know.
ill trooper @ Mar 5th 2007 5:08PM
From the "I-do-not-think-that-word-means-what-you-think-it-means"* department...
Happy Jack:
Don't confuse the term "whacked" with "wack," they are different. In the UK "whacked" means tired or exhausted. "Whack" as in "whack-job," means something or someone is off-kilter or crazy. The hip-hop colloquial "Wack" means "lame."
Google-up next time, neffew.
"Seriously."
*Referencing the 'The Princess Bride'
Jessica Q. @ Mar 5th 2007 5:07PM
This whole thing is kind of silly. Okay, I might not be the typical girlfriend, but I know quite a few other girls who fall more into my category than into the "hurr it's too hard to play!" category.
I'm not that great at games, but I still enjoy playing, and I'll play anything that looks interesting - NOT just a certain kind of game. I finally got a 360 this Christmas, and the first two games I got were Viva Pinata and Gears of War. Guess what? I've barely played Viva Pinata.
Like I said, I'm not that great at (some) games. So my boyfriend played Gears of War on co-op with me. Once or twice I've played online with him and his friends, which did result in a little competition problems. This goes back to the "noob" business; they spent YEARS playing Halo, whereas I never owned an original Xbox, just a PS2. So I don't have the experience there. So not only did I suck, but I knew they were going easy on me, which also pissed me off. But I'd still play again.
I got my boyfriend into World of Warcraft, and he got me into wanting to play GoW online with other people. I bought Crackdown, and while he's trying to get his gamerscore up for the Old Spice contest, I've been leveling my new Burning Crusade characters.
While it's true I like some typical girl games, like Katamari, Guitar Hero, Amplitude, Frequency and yes, DDR (mostly because it's entertaining exercise), probably my favorite game in recent years is GTA: Vice City.
I love Hello Kitty and stupidly cute things; I find the Wii to be somewhat boring. Boyfriend likes Kingdom Hearts more than I do, I like mindless killing more than he does, and between the two of us we have two of every console since the NES, though I'm the only one with a Gamecube.
And I'm not even good at games, okay? I consider myself a casual gamer. More girls are like this than we're given credit for. I love Star Wars and Battlestar Galactica, but I watch Veronica Mars, too. This tuesday, I'll be buying Peter Pan: Special Edition AND Borat on DVD.
Some girls are girly AND like games. It's really not that rare of a thing.
What I want to know is, if you like gaming so much, why the hell are you dating a girl who doesn't? Aren't you supposed to date someone with common interests?