Poking around with Virtually Jenna Jameson
by Alexander Sliwinski 
{ Mar 9th 2007 at 11:25AM }
Oh pr0n 2.0, you are so very close. Porn and games are often compared, but typically not related. However, we got to take a look at the new version of Virtually Jenna, the official video game of porn icon Jenna Jameson. The "game" is a Canadian title that is slowly being updated over time. It is currently available online only. Actually, the game lives on a server like an MMO to prevent piracy and comes with a $29.95 monthly fee.We sat down with Brad Abram, president of Xstream3D, to get a better understanding of the game. There are currently three versions of the title available to customers: Hetero, Homo and Hentai (Anime porn). Abram is surprised that the Hentai version hasn't done better, between the robot and massive tentacle creature sex options, he thought there would be a bigger market.
In Virtually Jenna's current incarnation there are many design options for your avatar, poses to put them in and plenty of toys to use for interaction. The only problem is that your dominant hand, typically a key component in the enjoyment of pornography, is a bit busy. That's why they're adding a record feature, toying with the idea of a marketplace and even trying to figure out a way for the game to pick positions at random so the action can be a hands free evolutionary process leading to climax -- think of it as Spore for porn.
The game is compatible with most USB toys available on the market. The sound is proper for the genre and Abram says the graphics are "Xbox quality" to avoid the uncanny valley. They are also working on perfecting butt jiggle physics at the moment. The game is available now but it is an evolving adult entertainment project. They hope to have some in-game advertisement soon to defer the cost of development.
Virtually Jenna website link (Splash page is safe for work, but nothing beyond that)
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
art42 @ Mar 10th 2007 1:16PM
@2
You're telling me that you would not have sex with Jenna Jameson if given the chance?
Jack of No Trades @ Mar 9th 2007 11:33AM
WOW! Who needs real life partners when a games satisfies you in ever way.
Minority Report.
Eric Draven @ Mar 9th 2007 11:34AM
You better tie a 2x4 across your ass before you go poking around with Jenna Jameson.
Otherwise, you'll fall in and will never be heard from again.
JodyAnthony @ Mar 9th 2007 11:43AM
I was going to say that there is something creepy about a porn game, but I got distracted by the cleavage in the picture.
mikey @ Mar 9th 2007 12:00PM
it's amazing to me how much the porn industry seems to "get it" when it comes to embracing technology. you know games like this are going to start popping up all over the place, and you know people are going to be falling all over themselves (tripping over the pants around their ankles) to spend their money on them.
CaptNink @ Mar 9th 2007 12:02PM
"You better tie a 2x4 across your ass before you go poking around with Jenna Jameson.
Otherwise, you'll fall in and will never be heard from again."
ROFL!!
Thanks for my morning laugh!! :-)
tsukko @ Mar 9th 2007 12:09PM
#2, that's the funniest thing I've read all week, no lie, you have my thanks.
Also, Joystiq, could you expound (no pun intended) on what some of these available "USB toys" are? Inquiring minds want to know. Inquiring minds are morbidly curious.
dekox @ Mar 9th 2007 12:25PM
"The only problem is that your dominant hand, typically a key component in the enjoyment of pornography, is a bit busy" LMAO
This is hilarious!!!
samfish @ Mar 9th 2007 12:22PM
Oh, thanks, Joystiq. Now I got a boner at work from that picture!
*slinks off to the bathroom*
dmbrandon @ Mar 9th 2007 12:29PM
You know something is funny, when you're by yourself, and your stomach hurts from laughing...
This. Is. Awesome. XD
dmbrandon @ Mar 9th 2007 12:29PM
You know something is funny, when you're by yourself, and your stomach hurts from laughing...
This. Is. Awesome. XD
REUYL @ Mar 9th 2007 12:29PM
If this game was made by EA, it would screw YOU!
trashman @ Mar 9th 2007 12:37PM
This game is actually kind of fun. I never knew you the game supported USB Sex toys. Something they need to add into the game is objectives and more positions and other things to make the game more enjoyable. It gets boring after a while making them do all the positions and using all of the in game. And no, I am not a perv, it is a fun game.
coma @ Mar 9th 2007 12:56PM
Haha, but seriously, take a look at any recent pics of Jenna. She looks like she's been screwed 50,000 times.
On another note, I'm left handed, and I mouse with my right hand. GIGGITY!
dvdguy @ Mar 9th 2007 1:11PM
I remember when Jenna looked human...
Chintz @ Mar 9th 2007 9:25PM
No surprise the hentai version is doing poorly - anyone into hentai's probably already into the much vaster selection of hentai games from Japan, which judging from casual observation of screenshots are a lot better than their American counterparts.
Drop A Load @ Mar 9th 2007 1:17PM
too bad this is how jenna looks now
http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d36/4175/jkr/jenna-jameson-virgin-territory.jpg
Kylearan @ Mar 9th 2007 1:19PM
I can't imagine this "game" will get much market penetration.
(seriously, now ...)
Jenna has been around for a long while. Is there still any fascination with her -- at all? She's been done this way and that so many times, and anyone who has wanted to has and can see her (and anyone with enough money can really see AND have her), so having your own opportunity to "virtually have her" for $29.99 a month is a rip.
Besides, the more time you spend watching sex or having it "interactively" is a sure fire way to ACTUALLY have none of it. Everyone, thank Jenna for helping anyone not getting laid to continue not getting laid.
idioteraser @ Mar 9th 2007 7:48PM
This nsfw link details one that comes with an adult game. http://www.joystiq.com/2006/11/11/chess-pr0n/
Arbuz Chokaro @ Mar 9th 2007 3:06PM
"If this game was made by EA, it would screw YOU!"
That made me ROFL. Good show.
FrankTheCrank @ Mar 9th 2007 4:49PM
People are desperate out there.
Sad.
Scumbags like Jenna take advantage of that.
Todd @ Mar 9th 2007 5:40PM
Hmm... I wonder if there's a free trial for this game. Expensive MMO to play and I can ONLY imagine what it involves.
Patrick @ Mar 9th 2007 5:46PM
uncanny valley oh so many jokes to be made, but ill be the better man here......
oh id like to get inside her uncanny valley. damn it!
trashman @ Mar 9th 2007 6:31PM
Drop A load, jenna still looks hot in that picture you linked too. She has some of the best movies.
Dan Elkayam @ Mar 9th 2007 7:17PM
In Soviet Russia, video game screws YOU!
Rubang B @ Mar 9th 2007 7:22PM
If you want to know what the deal is with USB sex toys, read about Teledildonics on Wikipedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teledildonics
The best part is, the word "teledildonics" was coined by Ted Nelson, the same guy who coined the word "hypertext" and ALMOST invented the internet. He knows where the money is.
And yes, all technological advances that have anything to do with media are jumpstarted by the porn industry. I can't wait until they start recording porn with binaural audio so it sounds like you're in the middle of an orgy, haahhaha.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binaural_recording
idioteraser @ Mar 9th 2007 7:46PM
Funny how the porn industry is actually dreading HDtv since it makes all the blemishes come out.
Quite a number of porn industry execs want nothing to do with HDTV since it would wipe out a lot of the profits they get. Most major porn money is in hotel or pay per view. Not movie sales. You should read what the industry actually makes and what parts make the money.
Cuja @ Mar 10th 2007 1:38AM
They need attachments to your TV for hands free play.
Eric Draven @ Mar 10th 2007 6:08AM
art42,
Yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you.
I've got a good woman and she's not a whore like Jenna Jameson.
Even if I were single, I still wouldn't.
I guess my standards are higher than yours.
Anonymous @ Mar 10th 2007 2:39PM
@29
You are telling me you'd risk getting every STD under the sun, to have sex with a washed up old slut? The woman has seen better days, and far FARRRRRRRRRRR bigger penises than anyone reading this is equipped with. Seriously people, 1000 games like this come out of Japan every year. Just google for Battle Raper 2, Artificial Girl 2, Sexy Beach 3, Rapelay, Biko 3, or any of the other 50 bazillion games on the market. Even Dead or Alive:Xtreme Beach 2, a game that I consider exotic more than erotic, is sexier than the game this article talks about (I've seen screenies, never actually played, not that desperate)
Geoffrey M. @ Mar 11th 2007 3:38AM
If you guys didn't know.....Jenna Jameson voiced as Candy Suxx on Rockstar's GTA Vice City. I'm excited about this.....mainly cuz I'm a huge Jenna fan for long time now. (shes prettier than most adult film stars.) heheheh
Fried noodle @ Mar 19th 2007 2:44PM
Lol, payin a monthly fee for this is a joke. The game is mostly 3d sex villa with jenna j and 3 other models included, there are so many full crack versions of this game that do work 100% and are the latest version! Why pay for it! "Here's to you Jenna J, suckin my dick-tracy", Litterally and virtually speaking