Army of Two = 1 part innovation + 1 part bad dialogue
by Christopher Grant 
{ Mar 19th 2007 at 1:30PM }
"I'm driving."'
"F--k you, I'm driving."
And with that terse exchange, Army of Two reminds us of how it simultaneously advocates a new kind of cooperative gameplay while settling for the same rehashed action movie dialogue we've been hearing for years. N'Gai Croal spoke with EA Montreal's general manager, Alain Tascan, about the buddy cop sensibilities of Army of Two and what we can expect from the final product. Perhaps most interestingly was Croal's suggestion that the dialog was refined in response to the slightly homoerotic undertones of a game about two guys doing lots of "crotch level hoisting." In other words, if Tyson and Elliot talk tough (while they just so happen to be holding each other's crotchular region), there's no way they could be gay, right?
Tascan said, "The trailer, for us, is a way to gather feedback. It's like a mini-demo." So, readers, after "demoing" the game via the trailer above, whaddya think?
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Adam540 @ Mar 19th 2007 3:02PM
I've been following this game since it was first announced and I think that it looks really good. As far as the language goes, these guys are in the business of war. I highly doubt that most mercenaries and soldiers talk using cuss words and make fun of each other so often. I think it would be better if they complimented each other and showed more manners. A few man-hugs would probably work to bring them together as a whole and improve their teamwork. cough*(sarcasm)cough
So far I believe this to be a game to watch and if they implement the co-op properly it has serious potential. There aren't enough games out there will you really work as a team of 2 to achieve objectives. I like that their is reliance on each other.
hvnlysoldr @ Mar 19th 2007 1:43PM
More Lethal Weapons references in games! Imagine the opening of Lethal Weapon 4 where he does the chicken dance in his boxers.
MickeyD @ Mar 19th 2007 1:44PM
Those two are so totally in the closet.
Coarse.Sand @ Mar 19th 2007 1:46PM
Personally I think the dialogue in Army of Two is awesome. It's so perfectly cheesy the game is going to be excellent if they nail the controls. How can you not chuckle at this line:
"Oh that's clever. Who do you think you are? F--king Macgyver?"
With smack talk like that already flying around in the game, the conversation between two people playing co-op is going to be pretty interesting, especially when one person goes down and has to do the treadmill of death that's been mentioned.
Vince @ Mar 19th 2007 1:46PM
i was excited about this game since i first read about it, and it just keeps looking better.
Jiffylush @ Mar 19th 2007 1:47PM
Hey, what was that?
I think I saw 1.5 seconds of actual gameplay, must have made an editing mistake ;)
Matt @ Mar 19th 2007 1:52PM
It looks pretty nifty. A pun of itself, if you will.
carg0 @ Mar 19th 2007 1:51PM
it's a trailer.
you can't make any reasonable or constructive suggestions based on a trailer. Is this Tascan completely incompetent?
a trailer will never pass for a demo or, in this scientist's case, a "mini-demo".
RazorElite @ Mar 19th 2007 2:17PM
I love the trailers, especially for the comedy. I'm hoping the game is just as good and actually has good gameplay.
Jake @ Mar 19th 2007 1:57PM
The dialogue is probably my favorite part about this game. It is hilarious. It is intentionally cheesy and does a great job at it.
What the hell do you want them to say? "Good job buddy, way to think outside of the box."
Thomas Crymes @ Mar 19th 2007 1:59PM
I think the others are right. The dialog is intentionally cheesy. I think it is good that someone is attempting this sort of thing. It is long overdue.
Even though it is cheesy, it could be a little more inventive.
ZenGaijin @ Mar 19th 2007 2:01PM
Seriously, its a videogame. What would you want them to be talking about? Witty banter about the situation at hand its a videogame first not a comedy. I can't believe people are so up and arms about this. It's nice for once to play some characters that actually try and be something past the whole big tough guy stereotype for once.
Hell as cheesy as it is I can't wait to see what else they say.
Blake @ Mar 19th 2007 3:30PM
I am SO pumped for this game. If it has "Jump in, Jump out" co-op mechanics as clean as Gears of War, then Army of Two could easily become my favorite game of all time. I really hope EA doesn't screw this one up. Playing a game together with my buddy over Xbox Live is what Xbox 360 is all about. Let's hope EA gets this one right!
EA: Take a lesson from Gears of War. This is how EVERY co-op game should be!
bootsielon @ Mar 19th 2007 2:07PM
Let's stop excusing the developer. The dialogue is not original, it's too cliché. It's horrible. It can still be funny without sounding too hollywood. That's part of the problem with games, trying to copy hollywood too closely instead of coming with its own ideas.
There are probably good examples of good original dialogues on games with good gameplay (although I can't think of one right now), but most suck ("YOUR BASE R BELONG TO US" and Megaman 8).
H2O2Wine @ Mar 21st 2007 12:31PM
Ralphie from A Christmas Story sums it up best:
"Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. Ovaltine? A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch!"
D @ Mar 19th 2007 2:11PM
They should just hire Shane Black to write all the dialogue.
why not the LS2/LS7? @ Mar 19th 2007 2:14PM
It's a great time for gay.
http://datelinehollywood.com/archives/2007/03/12/300-becomes-first-gay-porn-movie-to-gross-over-70-million/
Jake @ Mar 19th 2007 2:17PM
bootsielon,
You are way off base. You don't even make any sense. How are the characters in this game cliche? I guess they are like Lethal Weapon and all its ripoffs, but they are pretty unique to this kind of GAME. They are exactly the opposite of what we usually get in shooters, which is what makes it cool.
With unrealistic shooters, we usually get uber-tough badasses that could be voiced by Vin Diesel every time. With realistic shooters we get these super-professional always mature perfect soldier characters with Nebraska accents. Here, they are making a semi-realistic game with a couple of complete screw-offs.
It is cheesy as hell, refreshing, and somewhat hilarious. If the gameplay is good, this will be a blast to play.
LaughingTarget @ Mar 19th 2007 2:21PM
What kind of dialogue is expected in the heat of battle? High Victorian-era drama?
It is the heat of battle. Apart from corny one-liners or basic orders and battlefield status reports, we're not likely going to hear anything of great impact. I'd question a soldier that always had something clever to say as that simply isn't realistic. Where is the time to be insightful?
That being said, there are only a limited number of ways a group of words can be strung together and still fit the basic rules of the English language. Everything that someone has said was likely said before. Given the limited language scope of a military themed game, we're likely going to hear them more frequently.
Grindstone @ Mar 19th 2007 2:23PM
If you can turn the cheesy dialog off, then I have no problem with it. I prefer silent, methodical killers.
Will this dialog interfere with co-op speak?
Vincent Avatar @ Mar 19th 2007 2:31PM
Truthfully? I giggled.
sheppy @ Mar 19th 2007 2:32PM
I'm guessing I'm the only person here who enjoyed Timesplitters 2 and Future Perfect.
Matthew Moore @ Mar 19th 2007 3:38PM
Demos are usually playable but showing off what it looks like to play a game is not something new. When you see a trailer its supposed to simulate what your experience may be like. But a real demo cant be one-uped by a movie. You will end up with things like Perfect Dark Zero doing things this way. All though it does make me want to game a demo will make me preorder it.
The comedy though isnt that bad. Sure its corny but if your not laughing at a few of the jokes (or giggling inside) your dead or your just an over zealous comedy critic. Funny doesn't need to be refined it can be but a laugh is a laugh. Even if the joke wasn't very clever.
Acceptable Risk @ Mar 19th 2007 2:41PM
I like the dialog the way it is, as well. It's corny and canned and fits the atmosphere of the game well. I like a game that doesn't take itself too seriously. I've had enough cold, grizzled soldier types.
Derbeste @ Mar 19th 2007 2:43PM
"I'm guessing I'm the only person here who enjoyed Timesplitters 2 and Future Perfect."
You would be the only person that like them........IF YOU WERE REALLY SHEPPY!!
*dun dun dun!!*
Pete @ Mar 19th 2007 3:22PM
Well what you call rehashed "action movie" dialogue, most guys would just call hanging out talking shit with their friends. Hell I'm 32 years old and still curse like a drunken sailor around my buddies. While movies like Snatch may do it better than games like this or Gears of War, I don't think there is anything wrong with the cursing itself...it's realistic for characters like this if you asked me.
Jb @ Mar 19th 2007 6:34PM
I'm sick of the use of "genius" and "priceless" by people these days. Its like everyone is a damn authority on the use of those words and put them in like they are deeming the situation as so. I'm sick of this sex in the city smug horse shit thats coming into light as "cool". Cursing in the game cool but the rest of the dialog and story looks lame.
The tough guy and his dorky partner and their bad asses wow aint seen that in 200 other games and movies. This coming from the team that said Gears was crap and their game was so much more innovative. 3D Contra wow innovative.
another thing games from canaduh suck like the people
mccomber @ Mar 19th 2007 2:45PM
I love the dialogue, it fits the atmosphere of the game perfectly. It's supposed to be tounge-in-cheek, over the top and most of all fun. It's old school hollywood action. Yippee ki-yay Mother... you get the point. Read some Deadpool comics and tell me that there isn't something amusing about dialogue that isn't all serious in the middle of a fight.
sheppy @ Mar 19th 2007 2:54PM
I would never make off topic comments like that. Please, Joystiq, get this impersonator out of here already.
ElectronicTalking @ Mar 19th 2007 3:34PM
Huzzah for bulletproof doors :D. I want to see some more gameplay before I make my judgement.
Agent MOO @ Mar 19th 2007 2:57PM
I think this dialog is hilarious, and is a welcome change from the boring grumbling about objectives as in Gears of War.
NeverSage @ Mar 19th 2007 2:58PM
"You would be the only person that like them........IF YOU WERE REALLY SHEPPY!!
*dun dun dun!!*"
LOL, don't start that again.
I really don't care what the characters say, as long as the dialog very, very rarely repeats. I hate hearing the same line over and over.
nerdXcore @ Mar 19th 2007 5:05PM
"Sorry, we were out kind of late last night."
Don't ask, don't tell, right?
GaryM @ Mar 19th 2007 8:59PM
No worse than the dialog in Gears Of War.
Fozzybear @ Mar 19th 2007 5:16PM
Some of the dialogue isn't bad...The MagGuyver comment was pretty funny...Not as bad as Gears' ridiculous lines...
Foe @ Mar 19th 2007 3:09PM
Really? You guys are encouraging this? "Give it everything you've got!"?
I have no problem with games being funny. You know, if they're actually...funny.
Briz9 @ Mar 19th 2007 4:12PM
The dialogue worried me in the first trailer, and the second one was worse. The dialogue is so corny, that it's painful to listen to.
When I first saw some screens in a mag, I saw the two main characters and thought they look freakin badass with their armored masks and all. But then you hear them, and all that imagery of how badass they are goes out the window, and you're left with two over-grown teenagers.
Besides, if I'm playing coop with a friend I'll tell him to help me flip over a table, or that I'm driving. I don't need the in-game dialogue to do it for me. That would just be annoying trying to talk over it.
I love coop play, and I love that they are building a game around coop, but I really hope they fix this dialogue (or give us an off-switch).
Coop @ Mar 19th 2007 3:11PM
I agree that gamers need to stop acting like things that are intentionally bad are good. There is a difference. If the ONLY thing that is intentionally bad is the dialogue it does not mean it is good. If something is going for a corny style it needs to go all out. Half assing it is what this game is doing.
Why not go all out with the game and take the concepts the game puts forward (true co-op) and embrace it? Have the other player *gasp* help you. Have them point out enemy positions in real time. Let them tell you what they are going to do, and what you should do. You don't have to follow it, but I doubt if someone gets shot in the face the response would be an insult and a kick to the gut. Its the reason games and gamers are seen in such a low light.
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www.gamepoetssociety.com
Shagittarius @ Mar 19th 2007 3:17PM
Just imagine what someone like Tim Shaffer could do with the dialog in a buddy game like this.
Heres to hoping Tim reads this.
Thomas Crymes @ Mar 19th 2007 3:22PM
There is such a thing as too cliche.
It is possible to make it sound dated without sounding too cheesy. There is a line, but there is no way to tell if they crossed it by this short snippet.
If it annoys you it is bad. If it lightens your mood or even makes you laugh it is good. The problem is, if it is done poorly, the game will be irritating to play.
munish @ Mar 19th 2007 3:48PM
I think its quite funny
PowderKeg @ Mar 19th 2007 4:19PM
I actually prefer the short, profane dialogue to some of the rah-rah let's go team crap like in GRAW 2. But if EA goes heavy on the F-bombs and makes yet another bloodless action game, that will just be pathetic.
Kyle @ Mar 19th 2007 4:04PM
The dialogue had me laughing more than a few times. My only concern is that there are enough quips so we don't hear the same "F--k you, I'm driving" every time we one-up each other on driving dibs, and every other such scenario.
Also, it'd be kinda funny to see the guys rock-paper-scissor for driving dibs, or the equivalent, if they can't agree who's driving (OR they hold contests with one another, e.g., who snipes the most at the next ambush point, to see who gets to do what next).
Mintz @ Mar 19th 2007 4:40PM
The guy who made the MacGuyver comment has most annoying pissant voice ever.
derrickgott007 @ Mar 20th 2007 12:57AM
I think its cool that there is a sense of humor under all that...I laughed a few times....I'd rather EA make me smile than piss me off like they normally do.
Aex @ Mar 19th 2007 4:52PM
I think this may be the firs time I have ever completely agreed with LaughingTarget. Come on people they are soldiers. They sound like soldiers and they joke like soldiers. Just like they did in Gears of War. This is the kind of dialogue I expect in games like these, not the smart, intellegent wity banter of a popular sitcom you guys seem to expect from soldiers.
Riff1 @ Mar 20th 2007 4:31PM
Just, no.
There's a difference between funny, witty dialogue incorporated into a tounge-in-cheek shooter, and simply bad writers doing a bad job of it.
Examples: Serious Sam, Armed and Dangerous, MDK2
At this point, Army of Two simply looks just plain unfunny. I'd rather get fed the same plain military dialogue I've heard before than have to cringe in disgust at every voice's attempt at a joke, because, well, in the trailer, all they did was just cuss at each other. That's not funny.
Gimbal @ Mar 19th 2007 4:59PM
I keep missing much of GRAW2's great graphics because I keep having to roll my eyes from the dialog. Sometimes I think I'm playing Team America, except the game actually expects me to take it seriously.
That certainly doesn't mean Army of Two's dialog gets a free pass. It is embarrassing to listen to. The comments I read about how great people think it is make me feel like there are a bunch of EA shills posting comments here.
Comedic dialog would be great, but it really should be *comedic*. With the amount of money that goes into a game like this, I really hope the hire competent people to write the dialog. I've heard knock-knock jokes funnier than this, and they generally aren't that funny at all.
Evil D @ Mar 20th 2007 8:58PM
Less talk. More action. Thank you.
Mario Elenes @ Mar 20th 2007 2:59PM
"but I doubt if someone gets shot in the face the response would be an insult and a kick to the gut. Its the reason games and gamers are seen in such a low light."
Actually, it's not far from a true reaction for someone who constantly is under a stressful, dangerous job.
Now, I haven't actually been in combat, but I've done my share of hard, dangerous work that involves cooperation. Whenever someone screws up and gets really close to a tragedy, the most common reaction I saw was a mixture of insulting and humor. It simply releases some of the really strong tension that gets present.
I really doubt either of those guys would be cracking the same jokes or insults had the shot actually harmed or killed his buddy instead of just giving him a mild concussion and painful fall.