GTA-made-'em-do-it 'Nut Cases' gang leader sentenced

Not another case of video games made me do it, its so repetitive now...

Sometimes you feel like a nut...

A gang. From Oakland. And they called themselves the "Nut Cases."

Imagine yourself walking down a dark street, the lights flickering. A dark figure appears to your right, another in front of you. You stop, turn around and see a third behind you. They funnel you down an alley, dark as pitch. Your footsteps echo off the rain-slick bricks, as your breath catches quick in your clenching windpipe. Stumbling backwards, you bump up against another man, muscles as taut and hard as the light in his eyes.

"You in the wrong place, son."

"I..I'm s-s-sor..."

"This gang territory. You know where you at?"

"N-no, I'm sorry, I didn't kn-"

"Shut up, fool. You in our house now. We own you. There ain't nobody get away from us. Why? 'Cuz we tha Nut Cases!"

"...what?"

"The NUT Cases, son!"

"...really?"

"Yeah, wha-"

"Jesus, you had me scared there for a second."

"Hey, man, wa-"

"Do you guys do birthday parties?"

"Hold on a sec-"

"Oh damn! Thanks for the laugh, guys, but I really have to be getting home. Ha! My kids are going to get a kick out of this one."

You walk away, chuckling "Nut cases, heh" and slowly shaking your head. From the alley comes faint weeping, muffled by the sound of crunching peanut shells.

Okay, so what if they could compensably prove that GTA did make them do it, does that mean we let the criminals go? You must have a really weak character to allow a video game dictate the meaning of your life. And quite frankly, any legal defense based on video games should never be taken seriously. Everyone should be held to the same standard, which is that we understand basic human rights, and cold-blooded murder is always wrong, regardless of what influence you are under.

hahaha, that was awesome, hoop.

Thanks, Jody. I'm nowhere near Oakland, but I still find it hard to be intimidated by a gang that has a "puzzling fixation on...Mr. Peanut."

Seriously, if I had to choose a mascot to front for my band and strike terror into the hearts of my victims, I'd immediately choose The King from Burger King. He haunts my dreams.

Also, @2 - Shag. Hilarious, I wish I had used that line.

"Front for my GANG," not band. Apologies.

You don't want to mess with the 19th Street Burger Kings. Those guys are insane!