Area 51: BlackSite demo Live, government still denying existence

by Justin McElroy { May 11th 2007 at 12:27PM }

You don't know, man! I've been living in a trailer in southern Nevada for nigh on 27 years, and I've seen some things. Things that Uncle Sam ain't exactly thrilled to be talking about sort of things. Just last night, I was laying in the back of my El Camino peering through my Advanced Ritchey-Chretien Telescope with UHTC Coatings when I saw it: A brilliant blue light, hovering right above Groom Lake. It was what Area 51 junkies like myself had been waiting for for since Art Bell was in short pants: Real proof.

So, I tell my harpy of a wife this morning, what does she do? She says I never even made it outside last night. She says I blacked out on the Davenport after my 13th (possibly 17th) PBR. She says the kids were up all night playing the "new demo for BlackSite: Area 51," whatever the hell that means. Now, I'm not as concerned about another sighting going tits up as I am about the kids playing their AxeBox 360 without their foil hats. How can I protect them if they're not willing to save themselves?

Gallery: BlackSite: Area 51

Tags: area51, blacksite, demo, majornelson, midway, xbl, xbox360

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Beaudry @ May 11th 2007 12:32PM

This new writer for Joystiq is terrible. People don't want to read your stupid short stories, they want to read about the game.

Zoot Suit Jedi @ May 11th 2007 12:35PM

This was awesome. I may never read nor laugh again as this was some of the funniest scheisse I have read in a while. I salute you sir and open this can of ale in your honor..."pabssssst"

C. Grant @ May 11th 2007 12:39PM

Thanks for sharing, Beaudry!

I'll rewrite Justin's post just for you:

"Area 51: Blacksite demo Live"

There. All better.

Beaudry @ May 11th 2007 12:42PM

C. Grant, thanks. Sorry to be rude, I just thought Joystiq was somehow related to video games.

Carry on.

OrganicShadow @ May 11th 2007 12:45PM

Yes, and also please specify what platforms the demo is live on. It's coming to PS3 and PC also right?

sheppy @ May 11th 2007 12:45PM

Let's see...

Generic shadowy army in ski masks? Check.
Generic black grunt? Check.
Generic "xtreme" white guy, complete with tribal tats and camo doo rag? Check.
Typically strange and impossibly proportioned lifeforms to blow up? Check.

Although the chick borgs are kinda cool...

Typical bitching rant from sheppy though people will find me in the demo tomorrow? check.

Justin McElroy @ May 11th 2007 12:46PM

There was a trailer on PSN, Shadow. That's all I know .

sheppy @ May 11th 2007 12:49PM

"Yes, and also please specify what platforms the demo is live on. It's coming to PS3 and PC also right?"

Jeebus P Krispy! Does reading comprehension just not work for people here? Does every article HAVE to be "X is on X, pictures included?"

The links in the article point towards Major Nelson and a Joystiq Query search for Xbox 360. Not to mention AxeBox... der, what could THAT console be?

Jack of No Trades @ May 11th 2007 12:51PM

Beaudry = Prick

You don't have to read it. The title says all.

Zoot Suit Jedi @ May 11th 2007 1:08PM

Git' im sheppy!

Sesur @ May 11th 2007 1:02PM

anyone play it yet? It's kinda shitty, I think.

kung fu russ @ May 11th 2007 1:03PM

I disagree SHEPPY. I don't turn on the TV, switch over to a news channel, and expect the presenter to tell me to buy a newspaper.

WhackMushrooms @ May 11th 2007 1:07PM

the content categories tell you whats what usually ... i do see baudry's point however .. but i really liked the post. more info in regards to impressions i gather will come later (im to lazy to download the demo until someone else tells me to)

Brigham Fancylad @ May 11th 2007 1:15PM

I, personally, enjoy when a game writer takes the time to pepper in some wit. It's all too often that I gloss over an article because it was all facts and no flair. If you can't handle a little deviation from the norm, maybe you should go back to Robottown Beaudry.

That said, I have been a huge fan of Justin ever since he came aboard. You are doing great man. Keep up the funny.

JodyAnthony @ May 11th 2007 1:26PM

Beaudry, you're a jerk. I (as well as many others) absolutely love the writing on this site. I would rather have amusing posts like this than "game X demo here: [link]" or "game Y released today. It is available in most retail outlets."

sheppy @ May 11th 2007 1:26PM

"I disagree SHEPPY. I don't turn on the TV, switch over to a news channel, and expect the presenter to tell me to buy a newspaper."

I see the problem here. You see, what you want is called IGN. Because that's an actual news site. This? It's called a blog. It's like getting your news from The Daily Show. That's not what this site is about. It's news, obscure articles, editorials, and primarily just blogs. The more they pepper their news with instances like this, the more I'm compelled to stay. I mean, hell, want the bland boring press release?

"Name: Blacksite: Area 51 Teaser Demo
Price: Free
Availability: Not Available in Germany or Asia.
Dash Details: Modern day fears come to life in a familiar, yet extraordinary setting: A small American town swarming with alien life. The government is desperate, struggling to contain secrets so terrible they can no longer be kept. Everything hinges on the actions of Aeran Pierce, a former Special Forces assassin thrown into one of the most explosive moments in American history.
Size: 583 MB (approx.)"

There ya go. Like a Kosher Kracker, crumbly, smaller, and absolutely devoid of flavor.

C. Grant @ May 11th 2007 1:26PM

Guys, the title says "Area 51: BlackSite demo Live." Live, with a capital 'L'. Like Xbox Live. The Read link points to Major Nelson's blog, the content of the post points to Major Nelson as well as stating the demo is available for the AxeBox 360 (I can see how one may be confused by this, so it was linked to the Xbox 360 category).

We could have just written a one word post, but Justin decided to write something fun instead. I can understand not thinking it was fun, but being confused about what platform is being referred to?

JodyAnthony @ May 11th 2007 1:29PM

anyway I used to love listening to Art Bell. c2cam ftw or something

Stef Geiger @ May 11th 2007 1:30PM

That's hilarious. You just argued that you prefer crap over quality. "Oh, this post is too factual, I want to read something twice as long that makes unrelated, witty remarks."

It's definitely nice when a journalist adds some colour to a post, but this post takes it too far. I come to this NEWS site for news - not short stories.

jaysins @ May 11th 2007 1:34PM

Lol @ sheppy. I'm stealing that kosher cracker line from you, it was awesome.

JodyAnthony @ May 11th 2007 1:37PM

Stef:

Weblogs Inc. Network blogs

not

Newslogs Inc. Newswork News

Arturo @ May 11th 2007 1:47PM

lol @ stef geiger thinking this is a news site

Finch @ May 11th 2007 2:18PM

PBR?? That is just horrible. Get a better taste in beer. Unless that is just part of some joke then it was funny.

KilgoreTrout XL @ May 11th 2007 2:12PM

Man, the number of douchebag commenters on this site is just fucking /staggering/.

Yeah, Beaudry, that means you, you little twerp.

"Carry on." (somewhere else)

JodyAnthony @ May 11th 2007 2:17PM

I love how we all argue about the different consoles non-stop, but when someone bashes joystiq we all band together, heh.

Uchendu Nwachukwu @ May 11th 2007 2:18PM

For what it's worth, I LOL'd reading that post. :)

JodyAnthony @ May 11th 2007 2:22PM

Screw PBR, it's all about Stroh's or Schlitz

Almack64 @ May 11th 2007 2:29PM

I don't know what was funnier the post or the comments that trailed it. But that is why I read the blog site that is Joystiq. (That and the fact that my job blocks everything else game related, hooray for Babel Fish)

Justin keep up the good work.

sheppy @ May 11th 2007 2:31PM

"I love how we all argue about the different consoles non-stop, but when someone bashes joystiq we all band together, heh."

I just get annoyed when peoples comments are typical bashing the writer. Yes, they sometimes make mistakes but the fact that they are ALLOWED to make snide comments or just wrap fiction around data (shout out to Ludwig on this matter as well) is one of the main reasons I come here. It's NOT a news site. That's what makes it great.

Plus, it's always great to see C. Grant floating about the comments section to put people and trolls in their place.

Beaudry @ May 11th 2007 2:41PM

"Area 51: BlackSite demo Live, government still denying existence"

My problem is that the headline is a little funky because the first part doesn't have a verb. Blacksite demo on Live? demo coming to Live? Blacksite demos on Live. Blacksite demo is live?

I didn't really get the headline, so I read the article to find out more. It's my personal opinion that I don't like this particular Joystiq write-up. To me, it is like reading something from thesuperficial: it was trying so hard to be funny, but it wasn't ever witty.

SlipstreamBRO @ May 11th 2007 2:50PM

Schlitz?? PBR??? C'mon guys, grow some hair on yer nuts.

Dogfigh Head 90 min IPA is where it is at.

Oh and I played the demo...Pretty fun, almost to sluggish on the controls tho'(but that prolly will be fixed, or will be adjustable).

JodyAnthony @ May 11th 2007 3:00PM

hey SlipstreamBRO Schlitz and Stroh's are both great! Plus a six pack of stroh's is like $2.95 at my local liquor store. mmm, cheap beer.

sheppy @ May 11th 2007 3:07PM

"To me, it is like reading something from thesuperficial: it was trying so hard to be funny, but it wasn't ever witty."

I thought it was witty. But primarily because I remember this rant from the lead developer.

"We're gonna create an awesome story of political tension in the fear based society our government has created in the post 9/11. We will tell a massively deep story of polical intrigue that will keep you on the edge of your seat."

Meanwhile, aliens overrun a small town, an alien cyborg chick hybrid with the weapon from No 5 on Short Circuit on her shoulder, generic character designs, and let's not forget our tribal armed grunt all directly defy the political intrigue claim.

Was the story for this news over the top? Yeah. But it has to be just to top the stuff the developers themselves have said about this game. I mean, how do you beat political intrigue in an alien shooter? My guess is reference The Arrival more. The world could use more Charlie Sheen references.

Justin McElroy @ May 11th 2007 3:11PM

Beaudry: Let it never be said Joystiq isn't educational.

http://esl.about.com/od/intermediatereading/a/newsheadlines.htm

Beaudry @ May 11th 2007 3:31PM

Justin, I thought Joystiq wasn't a news site? Why are you putting news headlines on this non-news site?

Anyway, I'm still not wrapping my head around this headline. That could very well be my fault. I still think "Area 51: BlackSite demo Live" should have a verb. "Game Executive Street" I'm still not buying it, no matter what About tells me!

rom @ May 11th 2007 4:21PM

I really liked the demo. There's a lot that you can destroy while fighting. I also really liked the end as well, where it all went slow-motion with the cars flying in the air. If the reviews turn out good, I might just buy it.

Tacoman @ May 11th 2007 5:55PM

Ironically, I am drinking PBR as I read this. It's gonna take a few more before I see UFOs, though. Better get started.

MikeG @ May 11th 2007 8:24PM

From a purely superficial graphical standpoint, I wished the environment had've been more interactive or realistic. When the copter flies in, nothing blows around except for the rain. I was expecting the electrical wires to be bouncing around like they do in HL2. The rain effects were pretty good, though. And there were some other nice graphical touches. Not sure if I'll end up playing this game, though.