Bungie, I am SO mad at you

by Ludwig Kietzmann { May 16th 2007 at 3:47PM }

Dear Bungie, Micro$oft and Major Tom,

I am super mad at you for all the pain and grief you've put on me for the last seven hours and forty seven minutes. OMG, it's a simpel thing you had to do. All you had to do was flip the BEST BETA EVAR swich in your office and give me and the fans across the world sum Halo 3 action. But no, you n00bs couldnt' even manage that. Let's look at what I've done for you!

First of all, I gave you 60 bucks for my beta ticket i could have just left it at that, but I played the included Crackdown (more liek Suckdown!) game for over 80 hours. I got all the acheivvement points and stuff to see if it unlocked the beta early, but nothing fine, I said, I'll get my munny's worth later. I'll wait until the "official" launch date, whateva. So I waited. Like, a lot. I bought an xtra X-box 360 (an ELITE, which is awesome BTW) just in case I got red-ringed before the beta. I took the whole week off work so I could play it without being interrupted and I told my mom to leave me alone. I did all of that, and what do you give me? nothing.

You guys have lost all your credibility now. I've been staring at the crackdown menu for a whole day, when I could have been doing something useful! You wasted my time and I can never get it back!!1I could have picked up my daughter from school by now, but no, you make me sit here and wait and wait and wait until you get your freaking act together. After all that time playing Halo 2, writing fanfiction and making wallpapers of Master Chief (he pwns the stupid Arbitrary) and dedicating my days to you... this is how yuo thank me? No, let me thank you.

Thank you for completely screwing up my life, Bungie. This is all your fold!

Tags: Bungie, Halo 3, Halo 3 beta, Halo3, Halo3Beta

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)

benjamin @ May 16th 2007 3:50PM

I'm sorry Joystiq, but I'm going to have someone stop by and serve you with papers.

It seems you've broken my sarcasm meeter and I need compensation.

kris @ May 16th 2007 3:53PM

its been silly hasnt it. people need to calm down its only a game, albeit a highly anticipated one. hope its out later but not that confident. at least it means they'll hopefully learn from their mistakes.

NATO_Duke @ May 16th 2007 3:53PM

OMG - You told your mom to leave you alone, and you didn't pick your daughter up from school? This cat has some serious issues!

Nice posting btw.

ridestowe @ May 16th 2007 3:53PM

el oh el

Primalfido @ Aug 2nd 2007 1:52PM

"All you had to do was flip the BEST BETA EVAR swich in your office and give me and the fans across the world sum Halo 3 action."

I laughed hard when I read that

Bravo Joystiq

NATO_Duke @ May 16th 2007 3:53PM

OMG - you changed the cat picture to make me look like a fool. Bastards!!!!!

JodyAnthony @ May 16th 2007 3:54PM

fantastic post

Konny @ May 16th 2007 3:54PM

I would have never guessed that Ludwig was an emo.

ridestowe @ May 16th 2007 3:54PM

dont worry nato, it just looks like you're using 50's lingo. so stay cool kitty-cat.

Zertoss @ May 16th 2007 3:55PM

"I took the whole week off work so I could play it without being interrupted"

This almost sounded like a real intardnet rant up until this point. The chances of someone posting a rant like this actually having to worry about a job is exactly 0. Same for having a daughter.

danielOut @ May 16th 2007 3:56PM

Classic. I lawl'd all over my monitor.

samfish @ May 16th 2007 3:55PM

That picture is every Halo/360 fanboy to the letter.

spoo @ May 16th 2007 3:56PM

Thanks Ludwig for the best post in weeks!

Hahahaha, I'm still laughing.

^FourthDimensionGod^ @ May 16th 2007 3:57PM

i bet that guy in the picture is cutting himself with his moms razor while listening to green day and making himself believe the song has a lot in common with his life in his gated community house

cheesebanana @ May 16th 2007 3:59PM

I've been laughing at the bungie forums all day.

Never ever have i ever seen a forum full of so much crying.

Seriously...it is a FREE beta that nobody was obliged to give you. Be grateful you get anything at all. Usually a game of this size would never have a beta.

Seriously...its embarassing to the gaming community.

gunforhire @ May 16th 2007 4:00PM

Thank god for Joystiq, the voice of sarcastic reason in a sea of wailing fanboy bitches.

StratTastic @ May 16th 2007 4:00PM

LOL!!! That was priceless.

Why do I hear "Mad World" playing in the background....???

bigcheeze @ May 16th 2007 4:02PM

Joystiq, are you guys sponsored or working for Microsoft? From the sound of every post, it seems to be the case. Either that or the staff is composed of a bunch of stark raving mad MS Xbot junkies. Try acting like objective journalists for a change. You'll lose (if by this time you haven't already lost) your credibility, otherwise.

GoonieGooGoo @ May 16th 2007 4:05PM

I feel their pain.....When's this damn BETA gonna go live....

Don't get me wrong....CRACKDOWN could be one of the funnest games I've played in years.......

Give Me Beta or give me death!!

Watching all my friends play it (as they attended the NYC Halo 3 Event).....ITS KILLING ME!!!

Slaziman @ May 16th 2007 4:01PM

LOOOL

Ludwig wins everything, as always

MrKniceGuy @ May 16th 2007 4:03PM

Correction kris.. it's a BETA, not a 'game.' Which means, you're helping M$ fix it. So far it's a good thing this is a beta and not the real thing. I don't really care if it's not online yet because I decided a long time ago to let YOU play the beta and fix the problems so I could play the game in the fall (Sep 25th now) and actually have fun. Thank you for being the guinea pig. :)

me @ May 16th 2007 4:12PM

@ #10

don't laugh...I know 2 people who took the week off for it...

MrKniceGuy @ May 16th 2007 4:04PM

but you're right I hope it's up soon so they can work out all the problems yet to be found.

JodyAnthony @ May 16th 2007 4:04PM

bigcheeze...what?

maybe they just like videogames

maverick_saturn_626 @ May 16th 2007 4:05PM

Man, hardcore Halo fans are serious nerds ¬_¬ boys....get laid or something, theres nothing worse then being an idiot then being a socially retards, demented and wrecked halo idiot, jeez, its a game, not the next coming of Jesus!

C. Grant @ May 16th 2007 4:17PM

bigcheeze: We didn't lose our credibility! It's right over there, underneath that pile of cash and Master Chief plushies that Microsoft sent over.

Jack of No Trades @ May 16th 2007 4:06PM

I wonder why kids want to fake that they had a bad life. Why would you want to have one? I had a very fucked up life and I pulled through it without dressing gothic or cutting myself. I used videogames and music to help me through the bullshit. I hate these fake ass punks that think they had a bad life just because their parents wouldn't buy them a brand new car. They are as bad as those fake ass gangsters.

Anyways, halo3 will be fun.

Arno @ May 16th 2007 4:07PM

Haha I would expect nothing less from a emo.

chenry @ May 16th 2007 4:16PM

Dear Joystiq,
I know that I'm a man, and you are a collection of electrons and 1s and 0s displayed through my computer monitor. As such, carrying your child would be completely impossible, and if it were possible, it would be an affront to nature. Regardless, I wish to have your baby.
Love,
chenry

bigcheeze @ May 16th 2007 4:12PM

While the post is obviously sarcastic in nature and poking fun at whining Halo 3 fanboys on the Bungie boards, the attitude taken by Joystiq is to put everything MS on a pedastal. They bash everything Sony, and are neutral towards Nintendo (but like to brandish Nintendo numbers to make Sony look even worse). That is the current face of Joystiq. Why can't we just play games without being so pathetically in love one brand over another. The worst part is they try and claim they are objective by throwing faux jab at MS every once in a while. Utter shite. Joystiq is as transparent as Kotaku. At least Kotaku attempts to be objective even though they are snarling Xbots, as well (well, actually bitter SEGA fanboys, but regardless...).

jaysins @ May 16th 2007 4:13PM

@samfish
Moron.

Anyways that was good and even though I'm really bummed about it not working, I'm one of the affected, I'm not going to get pissy and laughed my ass off at that as their are a ton of posters in the bungie forums saying similar things. Though I do have the day off from work and school today and was really looking forward to playing it (I just happened to get the day off and I didn't plan it like some people) I found other ways to amuse myself. Gym, blood donation, and homework. Not all Halo/360 fanboys have nothing better to do and are immature samfish. To bad the same can't be said for you.

Neoxkc @ May 16th 2007 4:14PM

Joystiq, please refrain from posting such tripe, and stick with news.

People don't come here for to the minute sarcasm updates.

Liquid @ May 16th 2007 4:14PM

Arbitrary FTW!!

I believe most public schools are letting out for summer. These kids got nothin but time.

Fhaze @ May 16th 2007 4:17PM

Off in the distance, you can see a smiling Dennis Dyack.

LowerHouseMember @ May 16th 2007 4:17PM

hahaha oh wow

RolexDPracer @ May 16th 2007 4:21PM

Well played Joystiq; well played.

Pixelantes Anonymous @ May 16th 2007 4:21PM

Joystick, Im so disapointeed right about now. U make fun of sirius problem. I dumped my inflatable doll to play Halo 3 this morning and what do I get? NOTHING!

Im so gonna fail a lawsuite against you and Crackdown. I now ironic when I see it.

Oh, and btw, bigcheez, your a moron.

Jon @ May 16th 2007 4:21PM

If this thing isn't up by the time I get home at 6PM Pacific...I'm going to shed a single tear...and then destroy something.

Grant @ May 16th 2007 4:23PM

eh, thats basically a summary of the bungie boards.
it's actually funny when it's from the mouth of the beast.

On one hand, i had and have mad finals today, so at least this whole debacle is less distracting than the actual beta.

on the other hand, this is one less day of the 21 us crackdown users get to play. I'll be completely honest, i would have never paid more than $40 for crackdown if it didn't include the beta, plain and simple.

This also reminds me of when i bought Phantasy star online, just for the sonic adventures demo. The only difference there was that the demo sucked and PSO became one of my favorite games.

Dan @ May 16th 2007 4:25PM

If any of you know somebody that actually took a day off from school or work to play this video game, take them aside and punch them in the face for me.

BPM @ May 16th 2007 4:26PM

@ Jack:
Society has always been full of people who never want to be themselves, but be whatever's "cool."

@ bigcheeze:
Joystiq is owned by AOL. And while each blogger may have their personal preferences of systems and games, the site is, overall, unbiased. They both bash and praise all three console manufactures when they deserve it.
See:
4 PS3 annoyances: http://www.joystiq.com/tag/ps3annoy
vs. 12 Wii annoyances: http://www.joystiq.com/tag/wiiannoy
vs. 15 360 annoyances: http://www.joystiq.com/tag/360annoy

As for the delights, it's 2 for PS3, 3 for Wii, and 11 for 360.

BPM @ May 16th 2007 4:27PM

Oh, and bravo to Mr. Kietzmann for yet another funny post.

Kitezmann is the... mann.

Richard Mitchell @ May 16th 2007 4:28PM

"We didn't lose our credibility! It's right over there, underneath that pile of cash and Master Chief plushies that Microsoft sent over."

Aw man! You guys got plushies? All we got was 800 cans of Arbiter EZ Cheese.

Richard Mitchell
X3F

Silver @ May 16th 2007 4:28PM

"I've been staring at the crackdown menu for a whole day, when I could have been doing something useful!"

Like applying more guyliner or downloading some new Emo tunes.

Note to Halo fan in photo: J Allard says "wear a suit jacket over that hoodie, it will make you appear mo kewler, yo."

G @ May 16th 2007 7:53PM

Ha! Microsoft is like Halo fans will bitch and moan, but they'll still jump on anything related to Halo. So complaining is pointless if your still going to buy anything with the name Halo attached to it regardless of the fact they can't keep a promise.

C. Grant @ May 16th 2007 4:28PM

BPM: Don't you know that Microsoft owns AOL? Of course, Sony controls 51% of them, and Nintendo owns Sony, so who we're 'bias' against is anyone's guess!

NATO_Duke @ May 16th 2007 4:29PM

bigcheeze - Dude, seriously, you need a hug. This was a funny article and you had to get all anti Joystiq. Go hang out at the Nintendo forums or something. Maybe there you can start a fight over whether Mario or Luigi gets more chicks.

BTW: Luigi does. Everyone knows that.