Scratch teaches game programming, commenting etiquette

I don't know why I read this stupid site.

my god, that cat is the greatest thing I've ever seen on this site. If only he had a tophat and cane

You guys are SO BIAS!


hahaha, gold jerry, gold!

I love the Twitter cat... itz in my serverz makin things better.

It's not a kiddie system darn it.

I don't know why I read this stupid site.

I don't know why I read this stupid site.

See now it's time to start a Scratch gnerated flame war i'll start it up.

I think the PS3 is overpriced POS with no games that only copied off of MS and Nintendo.

#6,7

Hah, I beat you to the punch.

Those are pretty good comments.

Is there also animation available?

I don't know why I read this stupid site.

About half of the comments this thing generates I would never associate with fanboys, just elitist who want to call people fanboys. You guys are above this garbage. But I feel I need to point out some of the obvious elitist comments you brought up...

I work in video production and I know several people who bought the PS3 because they were in the market for a blue-ray player. And they would all say, "$599 isn't that much, considering what you get." These guys are in their 30's, 40's, and even 50's and don't give a crap about video games. They haven't even bought more than maybe a single game for the machine. They probably don't even know what the Wii is. Are you going to label them fanboys? Of course not. They bought the system because it was a bargain for someone wanting a blue ray player. I'm a member of a statewide organization of videographers and at one of our recent meetings we had reps from one of the largest camera stores in New York and JVC come speak. And do you what they mentioned when they spoke about blue-ray? Yes, the PS3. And do you know why? Because "$599 isn't that much, considering what you get."

And then there's "Just wait until Halo 3 comes out." Why is that a fanboy comment? I personally can't stand Halo and I don't have much interest in Final Fantasy XIII, but there is a lot of truth in a statement like that. A huge guaranteed hit that will sell systems, break records, and could make or break a system isn't something we should be keeping our eye on? "Just wait until Halo 3 comes out" isn't something fanboys say. It's something any sane-minded, educated video game fan knows. Halo 3 will sell systems. Super Smash Bros. will sell systems. Final fantasy will sell systems. Period.

And another, "Wii Sports doesn't get old. I still play it." Guess what? I still play it. I still play Pac Man. I still play Tetris. I still play Luigi's Mansion. I still play a lot of very simple games because they're fun and addictive. Do you know what I don't play anymore? Metal Gear. Final Fantasy. Zelda. They got old. They're too involved for someone with my lifestyle and schedule. Does that make me a fanboy? Of course not. It just means I have differet taste than the staff of joystiq. Once I grew up I didn't have time to spend 5 hours at a time in front of the TV figuring out a castle or a boss. So I play Wii Sports. It's fun, it's quick, and it hasn't gotten old.

And finally, my personal favorite, "Wii is not a kiddie system." I'm 26. I play Wii. All of my friends play Wii. Friends of mine who never used to play games now own a Wii. PS3 and 360 are fantastic systems, don't get me wrong. They do have games I'm jealous about and if money was no object I'd own one. I just wish those systems existed when I was 15 and I craved blood, guts, boobs, and violence in everything. I'm grown up and so instead I play Wii. I have a one year old little girl and I don't really want her growing up in a house where her daddy plays DDR Volleyball and Comdemned. And although I often play Wii after she goes to bed, I want to play games with her, not some faceless gamefreak over the internet. I want to introduce her to Mario and Kirby and Sonic. And I want to play games with my Fiancee, as well as my parents and my sister when they come over. They stopped playing video games over a decade ago because, as they say it, games are too immature today. So Wii is the system that best fits my taste, lifestyle, budget, and social circle. And yes, again, I'm 26.

So seriously, would you care to explain yourself? This little thing you made to generate fanboy comments really just makes you guys look dumb. And I personally would rather not think that of you guys because I've always enjoyed reading your blog. I was really hoping for some more actual fanboy comments. How about instead of "Wii is not a kiddie system" you put "Only kiddies play Wii."

I have tried to make this a legitimate critique and not a rant or an attack. I'm just concerned because people like me, meaning people who have a personal preference to one system over the other two, are often labeled fanboys simply for having an opinion. I have nothing against the other systems or the people who play them. And I don't give a crap which system sells more. In fact, the 360 looks great. Wii is winning the battle right now, but the war? We'll have to see... "Just wait until Halo 3 comes out."

Edmund, you're taking this way too seriously.

@edmund tl;dr :D

Anyway, where the hell is the button for us PC gamers? I guess that simple system couldn't handle those levels of smugness!

Seriously, does any know a good "all systems" news site whose posts don't regularly read like those from a pre-teen Counter-Strike or Halo message board? It must be torture that Joystiq is the only gaming site that I can access while at the office.. torture.

edmund, that was the saddest thing I've ever seen.

I don't mind entering friend codes! Really!

If you add in the HD-DVD drive, the Xbox 360 is more expensive!

I must be the only adult who reads this site.

Edmund, I sense you are going to regret conjuring all that up in this, one of the many barely-funny Joystiq attempts at humor (and they are certainly not above this garbage). Not the right place at all... Prepare to be shat upon.

It's true edmund, out of the thousands of people that come to this site, you are the only adult. You are better than all of us.

No Edmund, I'm 28 and I think you fail at the internet!

@edmund-

I think you're missing the point. If you read the comments threads here, you'll see that the level of discourse is often reduced to exchanges of exactly those comments listed in the Flash game. It's the most common stuff I see on this site, where nearly every post becomes a war about which console is better- and things always boil down to the comments listed above.

These are fanboy comments because they are knee-jerk, top-of-mind reactions to "attacks" on a fanboy's brand of choice. Saying these things doesn't necessarily make you a fanboy, but these are the things that fanboys say repeatedly, without fail.

Are all of the comments in the game true? Pretty much. No, the Wii isn't just for kids, no the PS3 isn't really overpriced, and yes, Halo 3 will move systems. It's just the fact that these are the most common comments on this site- and it's fanboys that keep spewing them out, like soundbytes on a 24-hour news network.

C'mon Edmund, the java app is spot-on. Just say "I don't know why I read this stupid site" and admit it!

Regret? Ha ha. You people are pathetic. Keep sucking joystiq's teet.

sorry edmund, we will all leave this site and leave you alone. clearly us having fun with joystiq (and joystiq writers having fun themselves) is a bad thing. the only people that should be allowed to read joystiq or play video games are the people that overly analyze everything and use their amazing 'adulthood' to overlook any little point of silliness. I for one applaud your ability to suck any and every ammount of fun out of this entertainment site. Oh, I'm sorry, I mean 'serious video game news journalist site that takes everything seriously. Seriously.'

Ok Jason. "I don't know why I read this stupid site." :)

lol, wow we laugh at a little joke, we are all pathetic! all hail edmund!

you are the pathetic one :|

@JodyAnthony, you forget that the internet is a SERIOUS BUSINESS!

This just wasn't funny. That stupid fanboy quote generator that barely had any fanboy quotes? Not funny. If you want funny, look at Joystiq's newest post with the picture of Ike and Tina Turner. Now that's funny.

911, I've got a guy who's overdosed on too many "serious" pills! I think he swallowed the whole bottle... No wait, here's the problem. He tried to take one rectally. That's why he seemed to have something up his ass. Oh look, his funny bone is missing... no wonder he took offense.

@ Edmond

Have you ever heard of these two allusive but not novel things called humor and fun.? I mean yes there are a large portion of "young-en" commentors here that type nonsensible and totally unfounded dribble and really mean it in their hearts. But its fun to read and think about my own naive years. But then the rest of the comments are mostly "adults" who bitch, laugh, nag, moan, troll, vent, critic for what reason you may ask. To lighten up our work days and have a little... what's that I hear... fun. Yes sometimes this nonsense downgrades to actual reasonable conversation and debate but that's not a common happening. But it doesn't need to be. It's really not that serious this is not CSPAN. Thye truth is the whole idea of actually caring about what another person SHOULD like or SHOULD play is warped and comical in and of itself. But that's what makes this so much fun.

Man you guys are so BIASED.
I don't know why I read this stupid site. :)

That little generator, not that funny. It's just not that funny. End of story. You can all stop feeling so proud of yourselves now.

I think we all fail at the internets :)

Wii? More like We Stinki!

All the PC user fanboi comments were omitted, knowing the exact posts here would fill the gap.

"Gamepads < Keyboard + mouse"
"REAL next gen graphics are on the PC"
"I only paid $750 for my graphics card"
"Just wait till Bioshock/Alan Wake/Starcraft 2 comes out"
"At least I don't have to pay for games"

Man I am so loling, my boss might actually think I'm enjoying work. Oh Noes. But the "ironic" thing about Edmond's "not funny" chorus is that joystiq's post and his responses has actually "generated" tons of laughs from many people (At his expense). So it seems its purpose has been fulfilled.

Kyle Orland you are the winner!! And the new owner of the internets.

You joystiq readers take things way too seriously and you're way too hung up on yourselves. Half the shit I said in that rant wasn't even true but I threw it in to get funnier responses. I love creating threads like this but I have to get ready for work now. Thanks for the laughs, internet dorks.

Quick everyone! Stop laughing! Edmond does not find this funny, so logically none of us can either!

Hey Edmond, I am feeling a little down at work today. I was going to go find something funny to amuse myself and brighten my spirits, but I don't want to risk finding something on my own and having you not think it's funny. If you wouldn't mind, can you please create me a list of about ten things that you find amusing? I want to make sure that we are on the same page, since obviously you are the only person in the world that has the right to judge what is funny and what isn't.

@edmund

1. nobody is going to believe your post was sarcastic
2. CLEARLY the person writing a 4 paragraph response to a joke is not an "internet dork"

edmund is just mad that HE GOT SURRRV'D

*Calls Edmund a waaabulance*

@39

Well everbody let's all then just honor Edmond the ever viligant and all knowing commentor who single handedly helped the weak and scared Joystiq in helping us find laughter. What would the gamingblog world do without his nobel acts.

HEAR HEAR! HEAR HEAR!

"If you read the comments threads here, you'll see that the level of discourse is often reduced to exchanges of exactly those comments listed in the Flash game. It's the most common stuff I see on this site, where nearly every post becomes a war about which console is better- and things always boil down to the comments listed above."

It's like red meat and that's why we lurvs it.
FUCK YOU KOTAKU AND YOUR GATED COMMUNITY AND SMRT COMMENTERS!

Sweet! And to think my blog was only being read by other educators. I'm slightly flattered to be mentioned on Joystiq, though the Hope Primary School in the U.K. that I originally blogged about is where the credit goes. They pointed it out first.

Hopefully, I'll have fifth graders creating their own short games next year, and with luck, be able to have a few actually worth playing.

THE INTERNET.
SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.

Wow.


Wow...


Just, wow.

It's comforting to know that my knowledge of what I find funny and humorous has just been changed by one person.

Now I must sit in the corner of my white room with nothing going on, because obviously, that is the essence of being fun and humorous.

I'm 22. I play Wii. I am also an Adult, correct?

I found many of those comments on the comment generator funny... Wait, not funny. Mediocre, as edmund would put it.

"I don't know why I read this site."

If it wasn't for all the bashers that argue their case so vehemently on every single news post, then I wouldn't come to this site anyways. That is my only source of entertainment on this otherwise "dull, painfully moronic" Blog Site that I get 99% of my news stories from.

Let the Fanboys have their fun, I say. Let them call each other "n00bs" and say "f43r m3!11".

Those with brains and a sense of humor can look past all the bullshit and find the relevant topics and comments that apply to them. Such as: "How will this affect me?" "It will affect you like this.", not the "It will affect you because you just got pwnz0rz! zomgwtfbbq sauce!" comments.

That is all.

@Edmund

Humor is subjective for example some people think Carlos Mencia is funny where as I think he's annoying. But I don't make fun of what others like or call them names either. The only thing bad I can say about the little program is the sound the cat makes but that could be because I have a really bad headache right now. As far as being the only adult that reads this site, I'm 30 and considered myself an adult but if you are what constitutes as an adult I may need to reconsider my stance. Lastly you call us Internet dorks but you still seem adamant about defending your point to us, Why? It's good that you have to go to work don't be late I don't want to have to wait in line for my Big Mac just because your late for McDonald's.

Welcome to 1995 and clickteam.
those guys at MIT sure are slow.. and by slow i mean 12 years behind.

At the risk of offending everyone with a slow brother:

Argueing on the internet is like competing in the special olympics: no matter who wins, we're all still retarded.