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Reader Comments (149)

Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:23PM (Unverified) said

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I like this theory. The Wii needs more good news.

How about: "Blizzard announces StarCraft 2 to be Wii exclusive. In other news, Wii sales in South Korea increase by 3000%."
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:24PM (Unverified) said

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Is that a little mario or a mushroom enraged one?
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:26PM (Unverified) said

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Only a few more days, then, for Nintendo to:

• Tell us Sonic isn't in SSBB
• Tell us Mario Galaxy has been delayed
• Tell us Project HAMMER really is dead
• Tell us that they're going 3rd party for Sony
• Tell us SSBB is delayed, too
• Tell us the next Zelda for Wii will be a minigame compilation
• Tell us that there will be no Kid Icarus Wii
• Tell us that they haven't acquired Seeds yet
• Tell us their next console will be called the Pii
• Tell us that Miyamoto is a fraud
• Tell us that the DS is getting a CD add-on to be made by Sony
• Tell us there will be no hard drive for the Wii
• Tell us that Microsoft has bought them out.

Am I forgetting anything?
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:26PM SuMtOnE said

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ok?
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:28PM Fernando Rocker said

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Maybe Nintendo have an ace card under the sleeve...
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:32PM (Unverified) said

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heres my e3 predictions:

-sony, microsoft, and nintendo will announce cool new things
-fanboy X will pretend they are better than fanboy Y because their toy has the name of a company stamped on it that fanboy Y does not have on theirs.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:37PM (Unverified) said

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@6

My Mattel will pwn your Parker Bros!

Also, #3 forgot:

• Tell Samfish he's trying too hard.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:40PM (Unverified) said

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@samfish

So Nintendo is going to be bought by Microsoft and make third party titles for Sony?

The fanboys would be too confused to know who they're rooting for!
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:41PM (Unverified) said

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That chart is so last gen. It suffers from jaggies.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:45PM (Unverified) said

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Hearing that Retro was more concerned with a stellar Single player experience than hacking on Online Multi was really good news. And since nobody can actually go to E3 anymore, I am not terribly upset that people won't get to play Smash there either. As long as it comes out this year I don't really care. So one piece of good news and one piece of no news. I disagree with the post.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:44PM letherclad said

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do you guys just read other sites then post the articles they do reworded?
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:45PM (Unverified) said

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My Predictions:

* A elephant's crap load of DS games to be released.
* Boasting about Wii and DS sales worldwide.
* New target goals for year-end.
* Boasting about 3rd party interests and about new groups jumping on the Nintendo bandwagon.
* Nothing about online play.
* Nothing about online play. (cause some will ask twice)

I really hope they disappointment me when it comes to my predictions. I want to hear some really exciting news about the Wii. I know the DS will be doing well.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:47PM hvnlysoldr said

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Reggie will kick ass and take names.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:47PM (Unverified) said

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oh yeah, derek? well my Watara Supervision p'zones your Cybiko any day of the week, biznitch!
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:49PM hvnlysoldr said

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The return of the Wife-O-Meter.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 5:38PM (Unverified) said

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I personally don't care about Prime 3 having no online play. The way I see it:

BioShock = no online play
Metroid Prime 3 = no online play

Both seem to be really good games from what I can tell. Focus on the story and whatnot please.

Plus, Metroid Hunters online was wack.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:50PM (Unverified) said

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I've read some things around these tubes that the Wii might be Ninty's last in home console so they can focus just on portables. But I highly doubt that they would announce that.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:51PM (Unverified) said

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"10. do you guys just read other sites then post the articles they do reworded?"

Probably, but this is from Newsweek's N'Gai Croal. Generally when he talks, people listen.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:52PM (Unverified) said

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"So Nintendo is going to be bought by Microsoft and make third party titles for Sony?"

Precisely! Here's how it's gonna break down:
They'll tell us that there will be no WiiHDD because Microsoft is going to buy Nintendo up and then let them make games for Sony. Meanwhile, Nintendo tell announce that they'll be handling MS's next console, which shall be called the Pii. It will be controlled by a series of iron balls kept hovering in the air via magnets. On top of that, Miyamoto will have nothing to do with the Pii because he dun went and got caught stealing game ideas from Sony.

the resulting silence from the fanboys will be deafening. Here on Joystiq, they'll announce it in a post and there won't be a SINGLE comment...because no one will know what to say.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:53PM (Unverified) said

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*Tries to imagine playing Zelda on an Xbox and unlocking an achievement for beating the water temple*

...


*Cry*
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:55PM WiNGSPANTT from TopTierTacticsco said

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I think that there won't be any more letdown announcements.

Expect sonic announced for SSBB and for Wii sales to spike like crazy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TyXUVd2c83c
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:56PM Rubix42 said

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@16.

I highly doubt that is true. Maybe if the Wii had sold poorly I would see it happening. With "it prints money" being the slogan for botht the DS and Wii now, I bet we'll be seeing a HD Wii offering in the next 3-5 yrs, not the cancellation of the in home living room product.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:56PM (Unverified) said

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@samfish

You're wrong. JodyAnthony would post one comment saying "Owned."
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:56PM (Unverified) said

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Except it won't be on an Xbox, it'll be on a PS3 because Nintendo is developing for Sony now.
And it won't be an Achievement, it'll be an...um...Accomplishment.
...or whatever the Hell they're calling them.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:59PM Fernando Rocker said

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@samfish

"the resulting silence from the fanboys will be deafening. Here on Joystiq, they'll announce it in a post and there won't be a SINGLE comment...because no one will know what to say."


That day will be the returning of the King of All Trolls: Jack of No Trades.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 2:59PM hvnlysoldr said

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SONY HOME gots bling trophies.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:00PM (Unverified) said

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Aren't they called Privileges or something else retarded?
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:01PM (Unverified) said

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@samfish

Correction: PS4.

It will be "The Legend of Zelda: Metal Gear Link" and feature photorealistic graphics and advanced fairy physics.

The tagline for the game will be "Triforce... the triforce never changes..." and then cut to link commiting sepuku.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:01PM Shagittarius said

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JodyAnthony,

You've got to stop breaking the fanboy wars down into my toy is better than your toy. Its really not the same thing.

What would be a better comparison is that 3 bands all come out one is a rock band one is a rap band, and one is a boy band (assembled by the industry to appeal to children). If the boyband achieves global popularity with the mainstream audience its not beacuse people just prefer them...Its beacuse people are just stupid and have no taste in art.

Thats why the Wii is selling so well.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:04PM Fernando Rocker said

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@Shagittarius

Im a 70's and 80's rocker and Nintendo Fanboy, so, you are wrong.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:04PM Shagittarius said

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And just before anyone can say it: No its a fact, not an opinion. Bite me.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:06PM (Unverified) said

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no, its EXACTLY 'my toy is better than your toy'

playstation 3, xbox 360, and wii are toys.

if someone says 'ps3 is better than wii!' they are saying '[toy 1] is better than [toy 2]!'

its the whole "MY DAD CAN BEAT UP YOUR DAD!" argument from childhood, only its much worse because we are supposed to be adults (for the most part)
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:06PM (Unverified) said

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/bite
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:07PM hvnlysoldr said

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If I bite you will I become a vampire?
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:06PM (Unverified) said

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Damn it Jody, you got in the way!
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:09PM (Unverified) said

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"It will be "The Legend of Zelda: Metal Gear Link" and feature photorealistic graphics and advanced fairy physics."

Of course! And it'll take place in the distant future...the graphics will be so amazing that you'll be able to see Link's face reflecting off his sword and the individual streams of blood trickling down the blade after he stabs a Robo-Moblin.
He'll also take like he's from the 'hood and carjack people.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:10PM (Unverified) said

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If you bite ME, I'll become horny.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:10PM (Unverified) said

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Shagittarius just has Wii-nis envy.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:14PM hvnlysoldr said

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They will have the disembodied head of Dr. Kawashima on the screen fight it out with Andross to announce the new Star Fox Wii/DS connected, on rails shooter and real-time strategy game. To dodge use memorable quotes such as "Do a barrel roll!"
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:14PM (Unverified) said

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#28

Nope.

Last time I checked (approx 30 seconds ago) they're still toys, mkay?

Consider yourself bitten.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:15PM (Unverified) said

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@samfish

It will also feature full voice-acting with Christian Bale playing Link, Winona Ryder playing Zelda, and Christopher Walken playing Ganon(dorf).
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:12PM (Unverified) said

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this thread has brought the lulz
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:19PM Fernando Rocker said

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Shagittarius is the dog of Jack of No Trades
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:13PM Fernando Rocker said

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Shagittarius is the dog of Jack of No Trades
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:19PM (Unverified) said

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"and Christopher Walken playing Ganon(dorf)."

That would actually kick ass because anything Christopher Walken does automatically kicks ass.

"The Dark World! It needs more cowbell!"
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:21PM (Unverified) said

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"and Christopher Walken playing Ganon(dorf)."

That would actually kick ass because anything Christopher Walken does automatically kicks ass.

"The Dark World! It needs more cowbell!"
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:24PM (Unverified) said

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I can see why they are leaving off SSBB from the playable demos - because if it is available to play, no one will play anything else, therefore, no one will see any of the other games that they have to offer. Specifically with looming Animal Crossing and Mario Kart announcements.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:25PM (Unverified) said

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Yeah, and there will be no more need to kick chests open, 'cause that's why Link has his .45!

I think we're on to something here samfish, I'll have my agent contact Microsoft's Nintendo Playstation division and see if we can work something out.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:24PM KaneRobot said

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I prefer Microsoft's pressers, which lack the late bad news of Sony AND the early bad news of Nintendo.
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Posted: Jul 5th 2007 3:27PM moofree said

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I find it surprising how many people continue to underestimate Nintendo.
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