Hey, can you do us a huge favor? Just try hiding your disappointment when you get to the end of this week's Virtual Console releases. We've had like a million readers come through this post, and we think the way their faces drop when they see third entry is starting to hurt her self-confidence. She can't help who she came in with, try to remember that.
Paper Mario (Nintendo 64, 1 player, 1,000 Wii Points): A spiritual successor to Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, this game is, frankly, fantastic. It combines some really solid RPG mechanics with visual panache. Consider it required downloading if you haven't been through it.
Balloon Fight (NES, 1-2 players, 500 Wii Points): Though it may not be as glitzy as Paper Mario, Balloon Fight is still undeniably a classic. The only question is if you'll be willing to part with five bucks for a game that was not only playable in Animal Crossing, but was also, at one point, stored on playing cards.
Silent Debuggers (TurboGrafx16, 1 player, 600 Wii Points): Hey, we warned you, please be nice, this has been a tough day. ... Oh, you're laughing now. That's great. Listen, maybe you're just rushing to judgment. We've embedded a gameplay video after the break, maybe you'll watch it and see that you were wrong all along. She's a totally radical first-person shooter, you'll see!
... Sweetie, the mean, laughing man may have a point.