Apparently, that's not true. Rockstar sent Wired's Chris Kohler details about the control schemes, and apparently your Wiimote movements do affect your shots like you would expect; as in, you can actually aim your swing and position the ball. This is true even in the mode in which ball placement is mapped to the joystick. In fact, the Wiimote controls are the same in all three control schemes, meaning that it would be fairly easy to try the others once you've gotten used to one. I like that; it adds a little bit of choice and replayability to the game.
At this point, I feel like my problems with the controls may be partially due to their newness and to the venue in which I was introduced to them. I'm not entirely convinced that they aren't just nuts, but I'm at least interested in giving the game another chance in a location that isn't full of the din of hundreds of World of Warcraft CCG games and virtuoso Rock Band performances.
