Anatomy of a Fanboy: "We have seen the enemy, and he is us."

by Kevin Kelly { Sep 5th 2007 at 8:23AM }

David Keating has decided that it is high time to put his degree in counseling to use, and to write up the anatomy of a fanboy. Now, this isn't the first time anyone has tried to break down what makes us hate the Dreamcast, and love the Atari Jaguar, but it's a nice little read that has the right mix of both intellect and well ... fanboyism.

Yes, that's right, we're saying that Keating, who writes for a gaming website called myarcadeplanet.com, has caught the fanboy gene himself. However, in order to study the enemy, one must become him, and Keating has done a good job of that.

We're not saying he's torn a hole wide open into the fabric of the internets, and turned fanboyism on its ear. However, it's a nice ride and has us realizing why our hackles get raised whenever someone slams the TurboGrafx 16.

Tags: consoles, fanboy, next-gen

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

baby sea tuna @ Sep 5th 2007 8:35AM

I'll save you the trouble...

http://www.myarcadeplanet.com/articlenav-274-page-1.html

Secura @ Sep 5th 2007 8:38AM

.............

t_m @ Sep 5th 2007 8:43AM

the reason fanboys exist is the same as the reason political viewpoints exist. Its our subconscious brain.

It gets pleasure from information that backs up it's views, and it doesn't notice information that contradicts our views.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/01/24/science/24find.html?ex=1189137600&en=be31dec3194d79eb&ei=5070

James @ Sep 5th 2007 8:57AM

It doesn't matter what you post, everything I have and want is better than anything you have or want.

NintendoFanbot @ Sep 5th 2007 8:58AM

I can make fun of a 'real' gamer, or a 'hardcore' gamer the same way too. Actually, I could make fun of the entire gaming culture the same way. Somebody might take the huge generalizations personally though. Myself, for instance.

I call bullshit.

borland502 @ Sep 5th 2007 9:04AM

"Somebody might take the huge generalizations personally though."

Oh I suppose there are fanboys who could give James Dean lessons on cool: But I doubt they exist out of theoretical research. There is a difference between ridicule and recognizing the absurd elements in what we cherish.

borland502 @ Sep 5th 2007 9:14AM

And as another aside, the author is just using common Psych tools 101. For instance, in that bit on seeing the good more than the bad is taught in marriage courses. Sure he's using common stereotypes too, including the ubiquitous mom's basement, but none of it is groundbreaking or fabricated analysis.

NintendoFanbot @ Sep 5th 2007 12:02PM

Isn't it possible to be a fanboy without being hateful?

Or is saying that "Nintendo is the greatest developer ever" with much critical and commercial success attesting to that, and is saying "A $599 console is a stupid idea" fanboyism despite the hard precedence of the Neo-Geo?

No, I guess, like 'real gamers' who are not judgemental based on a platform bias, when it comes to fanboys it is okay to be judgemental.

Of course, you can say what you want, and I wouldn't dislike you for that, but you are debating with a TYPE of person rather than any one person directly. Therefore anything that is said about that TYPE of person is relegated to theoretical assumptions.

So yes, Borland502 (my comment above), it's bullshit.

MARTIN--
Batman would still beat Link. :P

ALEX MILES--
Did you REALLY need Metacritic to say that? :P

James @ Sep 5th 2007 11:55PM

@ NintendoFanbot's last comment.

There is a fine like between Facts and distorted beliefs. (fanboy-ism)

borland502 @ Sep 5th 2007 9:00AM

Feh, if the damned wish to ignore the most perfect console, then to hellfire with them!

a ham sandwich @ Sep 5th 2007 9:07AM

you hated the dreamcast?!

AlanRickman @ Sep 5th 2007 9:21AM

Where are all our fanboys? I figured the usual suspects would chime in on this.

GalileoAce @ Sep 5th 2007 9:24AM

And risk the light shined upon them?

Donald @ Sep 5th 2007 9:24AM

"Now, this isn't the first time anyone has tried to break down what makes us hate the Dreamcast, and love the Atari Jaguar"

I believe they call that "insanity".

samfish @ Sep 5th 2007 10:05AM

Oh Jaguar! You died a death too soon!
It was a hard, hard day burying you in the backyard...next to the WonderSwan and lesser consoles like the NES and Genesis.

WiNG @ Sep 5th 2007 10:14AM

1. Dreamcast > Jaguar
2. Where is the article?
3. Commonly misunderstood, the fanboy has 3 stomachs. The first is the same as most humans, followed by a second in which small swallowed stones break down plant matter. The third stomach digests fanboy spin like "Internet play is overrated" or "More than protein folding" or "39% hardware failure is normal".

Alex Miles @ Sep 5th 2007 10:18AM

Fanboy, Casual, Hardcore.....

The only thing that makes a difference here folks is 1) Age, and 2) Maturity.

The more console cycles you go through, the more it gets very old hat.

NES Vs. Master System
SNES Vs. Genesis
3DO Vs. Atari Jagur
N64 Vs. PS Vs. Saturn
GCN Vs. PS2 Vs. Dreamcast Vs. XBox
Wii Vs. PS3 Vs. XB360
Gameboy Vs. Gamegear Vs. Atari Lynx
DS Vs. PSP

And everytime everyone picks sides and picks the console closest to their hearts and it's MINE Vs. YOURS and GODDAMNITIFMINEISNTBETTER!!!!

COS OF THE GRAFFIX AND THE BLOOD AND GUTZ AND I SHOT YOUR IN THE HEAD ROFL!!!1!

I was busy saying all that shit when the SNES came out, and you know what? In time, you grow up, and you grow out of being a fan boy. You can still retain companies/mascots/games that are close to your heart, but you can enjoy good games for being good games, regardless of which platform they're on and who published them.

1) Your console of choice "Winning" a console war is for little whiney bitches.

2) F*CK MARIO COS MORTAL KOMBAT HAS TEH GUTZ!!!1! is a little whiney bitch mantra.

3) GRAPHICS FTW!!!1! is for clearly for whiney little bitches who never enjoyed Dizzy on their Spectrum.

In Conclusion: Fanboyism is the annoying, pain in the ass equivilant of adolecnce: Being a complete pain in the ass and pissing off everyone else.

NATO_Duke @ Sep 5th 2007 10:49AM

Valid points, but you do have to admit that the Mortal Combat guys would kick Mario's ass. I mean, when was the last time you heard a mushroom scream "Finish him!!!"

samfish @ Sep 5th 2007 10:55AM

MAYBE Sub-Zero could beat up Mario...MAYBE. Lots of factors to consider there.

But we all know that Link would stomp the ever lovin' crap out of Shao Khan.
...and Shang T'sung.
At the same time.
With his eyes closed!
...while getting a blow job from Zelda!
AND Peach and Samus!

Link likes the blondes, you know...

Martin @ Sep 5th 2007 11:22AM

"But we all know that Link would stomp the ever lovin' crap out of Shao Khan.
...and Shang T'sung.
At the same time.
With his eyes closed!
...while getting a blow job from Zelda!
AND Peach and Samus!"

QFT

Alex Miles @ Sep 5th 2007 11:23AM

Considering propper Mario games seem to score, on average, high 80's to high 90's, and Mortal Kombat games seem to score anywhere from high 50's to low 80's.... I'd say Mario kicked Sub-Zero's ass a LONG time ago.

(Source - www.metacritic.com)

mr mobius @ Sep 5th 2007 12:01PM

Turns out Zelda was brunette in the latest Zelda, but either way, I'll agree.

Almack64 @ Sep 5th 2007 12:48PM

Alex you are so right. Eventually you do grow out of the fanboyism. (well most do) Going around saying Sega sucks (or whoever you were against at the time )and missing out on great games just gets old.

You get to this point where you're like 'I like [whoever] but screw it [so in so] has some good games too'

Shagittarius @ Sep 5th 2007 11:27AM

Did someone call? My ears are burning.

samfish @ Sep 5th 2007 11:30AM

At least it's not your dick.

Shagittarius @ Sep 5th 2007 11:44AM

Thats because I didn't eat the roofies that Naked Peach slipped me.

Kev_da_Ninja @ Sep 5th 2007 12:54PM

Ohhhh Fanboys. Fanboys themselves don't bother me so much. I mean whatever, so they're into one brand. That fine.

It's the fanboy trolls that piss me off. They pollute forums with pure gargabe, they can't offer anything useful to an argument and no matter what they're "right" *shuddder* If they wanna get into an argument that actually matters, they should talk about 3rd world debt or Global warming.

Quit posioning us with lies Fanboy trolls.

Whatever I'm done.