The console war summed up in imperfect analogies

let me say that there's nothing wrong with a Casio.
*he kisses his G-Shock*

It does what I need it to do; Tell the time correct reliably while standing up to the punishment of my hectic, active, clumsy life.

It's like Breakfast in bed vs Making yourself a really nice breakfast vs Damnit! that company promised my kitchen would be here by now.

Except that after making breakfast yourself the kitchen red rings, I mean burns down by itself for no reason.

It's like when you go to McDonalds in the morning and you ask for an Egg & Cheese McMuffin with no meat...AND THE FUCKERS CHARGE YOU AN EXTRA SIXTY CENTS FOR YOUR DAMN BREAKFAST SANDWICH THAT HAS *LESS* ON IT THAN USUAL!

Fuckin' McDonalds...

Now that you mention it, The Wii sorta is the younger retarded brother that rides the short bus of the next gen consoles.

A better Wii vs. 360 & PS3 analogy would be:

Looking through the bra and panties section of the Sears catalog vs. a fully-nude lap dance with two hot strippers.

This is why gaming sites are sad - you have to say something that is a veritable slap in the face of a segment of your readers in order to get clicks. Grow up - each of the next gen consoles has something to offer. The Wii is simple, family friendly and easy for beginners, but you won't be able to pump out the same graphics or advanced gameplay that the 360 or PS3 can - by the same token they won't have mass market appeal like the Wii.

Here is my analogy:

It's like two guys who are hung like porn stars but never get laid because they are snobby asses versus a guy who is adequately hung who gets tons of lovin cause he's got tons of personality and game that people love. Sure, if the ladies would invest the time into testing the first two she'd be more happy, but why do that when she's already having fun with #3?

Like Michael Vick vs. Scruff McGruff and Hong Kong Phooey.

The inate flaw with all of these car analogies and watch analogies and food analogies and whatever is that, unlike with the Porsche, the amount of each product that hits the market will end up determining the value of the product rather than the product being its own value. Consoles themselves are worthless boxes without games to play on them. An SUV needs nothing more than gas which is equally usable by any other vehicle on the market to move where it needs to move.

Burger King vs. two fancy restaurants

Oh oh! I got one.

The blatantly biased blog site vs. the legitimate unbiased video game news site.

Great comparison right?

I think any of these analogies are stupid. Just more ways for Nintendo to inflate their own egos. You ever see the Smug episode of South Park. There's an analogy for ya. Wii gamers are a lot like hybrid drivers when taking into account how smug you both are about your product of choice. Seriously, grow up. Stop loving the smell of your own farts IMO.

The vast majority of comments to this news post are like a five-year-old younger brother making up rules on the spot to ensure that he is always right.

Not to say that I didn't enjoy some of them. Having grown up in the SNES/Genesis era, fanboyism has been instilled in my blood. However, I prefer to think of it as a sort of friendly rivalry. I indulge in fanboyistic comments for the fun of it, but I don't take them (very) seriously.

Got a new one:
It's like a banana (most people love it) vs. a fine steak (all lot of people love it too, Wii60!) vs. a plate of escargo (some people like it, others barf in its presence

The Wii is like a moped, and thus, a fat chick. Fun to play with, you just don't want your friends to catch you doing it.

360 and PS3 are like new Kawasaki Ninjas. Sleek, fast, cool to look at and you can't wait to show it off to your friends.

Wii is like a moped, and thus, a fat chick. Fun to play with, but you don't want your friends to catch you with it.

PS3 & 360 are like Kawasaki Ninjas. Fast, fun to watch and you can't wait to show 'em off to your friends.

Great post WariosWoods. Here's my take on it. There is no such thing as a hardcore GAME, but there are hardcore GAMERS. A hardcore gamer will try a game made by anybody (except EA) and will pay attention primarily to how fun and how deeply engrossing the game is.

A hardcore gamer's favorite game doesn't have to be something nobody's ever heard of, like Ico or Ikaruga or Beyond Good and Evil. It could be Tetris, Super Mario Bros. 3, StarCraft, or anything really. What games a hardcore gamer plays isn't the point. The point is, a hardcore gamer won't make some "graphical improvements over experimental control schemes" argument and then give you shit for not agreeing with them. As an alleged hardcore gamer, I PLAY games, I don't watch them, and therefore I firmly believe that experimenting with new ways to interact with my games is more important than turning up the pixel count or the shader count or anything count.

Hardcore gamers play whatever they want and will try anything.
Faux-hardcore gamers have crazy ideologies about why graphics are the most important part of watching a game... I mean uh, playing a game.
Casual gamers play what they like and don't get into these arguments at all, and they're usually the poor suckers who get duped into buying EA games.


And here's my analogy. The current generation is like an HD DVD player, a Blu-Ray player, and a VIDEO GAME PLAYER.

I think my story will be.
3 people are being chased by a psychopath.

Wii runs with his buddy innovation and pushes graphics to buy them some time.
Xbox 360 runs and lives. Barely. But he loses innovation.
PS3 outruns the crazy dude easily. He and graphics and innovation live. But innovation was slightly injured.

The crazy dude is HD. It's coming. So many people have HD TVs. So Wii cannot just leave graphics to die. Sure innovation is nice but innovation is only half successful in life. Xbox 360 ran and lived with graphics. But there is basically no difference between it an the PS2 except for games, graphics, and Xbox Live. The PS3 has survived with graphics and innovation. But the innovation is sort of 75% baked.
Blu-Ray is a questionable success and so is the SIXAXIS.

Basically I'm saying Wii won't live long.Something WILL distract it's audience. The 360 will live, but only for this generation. The PS3 will live for about 2 generations of gaming. By then Blu-Ray will most likely be the victor of the format war. DVDs just don't cut it anymore. HD is way too big. The VHS vs Laserdisc cannot be compared to HDDVD to Blu-Ray. The Adult Movie industry aided VHS to its glory. Because there was previously no way for home viewing.
Now there is. Internet cough cough. So now it is just up to studios. Unless Microsoft decides to blow money out it's nose.I don't think HD DVD will win.(Not like Microsoft has been for getting games. I'm talking giving each studio Blu-Ray exclusive or not about 50 million.)

Wii = Mini Coop. Fun to drive. Not very powerful. Uses old technology.

360 = Jauguar. Very fast car, but always in the shop.

PS3 = Fuel cell sports car. Lots of promise. Very expensive. Faster than anything else, but only once the company that makes it figures out how to properly tune the engine. Very difficult to find ways to have fun with it (because you can't find places that sell refills (AAA games) for the fuel cells)

I think people would decide to drive the Mini Coop until they got sick of it and hope that the Fuel Cell car eventually got it's sh*t together.

Console analogies in the realm of...
Being stranded out in the woods needing a way to build a fire and cook your meager gatherings.

Wii = Three rocks, 5 leaves, 2 sticks, and a dead raccoon.
-Simple, effective, but also catering to a simpler aesthetic...then again, that raccoon may hold secret surprises... or maggots, who knows?

360 = A rusty microwave running on a makeshift generator that you fashioned from pinecones.
-Serves your survival needs? Yes
Reliable? No
You're living it up until you realize that your pinecone perpetual-motion-machine is just waiting to completely fall apart.

PS3 = A match and a full can of gasoline.
-Effective and impressive, but only for about five second until you realize that 1. You just wasted all of your resources on a single superficial thrill and
2. You are on fire and it is not very fun.

Ughhh I hate slow news days...

just for the record these are some of the best posts I have ever read on Joystiq, thank you, you crazy sons'a'bitches.

You know who,
AlbinoGoldfish

A Fig-Newton vs. 2 Hotpockets.

A dolphin vs. 2 sharks.

Gattaca vs. 2 copies of The Phantom Menace.

Hello, I'm a PC...
And I'm 2 Macs.

A veterinarian vs. 2 proctologists.

B&W TV vs. Widescreen HDTVs. The former you would have to motion your body to get up and physically turn it on. Then with hand motion contact, you could dial a channel and and adjust the volume. You even get snow for your screensaver. The latter you would just lay there with your wireless remote and enjoy.

Family vs. addiction. Life vs. addiction. Fun vs. addiction. Love vs. addiction. Care vs. addiction. And it keeps on going. Maybe the Wii is headed in a different direction.

I can't even put the ps3 and the 360 in the same category.

I work as a game tester and these are my work tools...

Personally, i don't think that Sony and Microsoft are going the same way...

I think Sony lost itself in high water and the only good navigator just left the boat...

It's like fanboys who post on forums vs fanboys who post on forums vs fanboys who post on forums. None of them are any better than the other, so why don't you just go and play the damn games instead on whichever is your preferred console safe in the knowledge that you and millions of people in the world like it.

How about a baby penis vs. two John Holmes monster cocks.

A gamecube (v2.0) vs. two next-gen systems
DVD vs. HD-DVD/Blu-Ray
Super Smash Bros vs. Gears of War and Heavenly Sword and Halo 3 and Ratchet & Clank and Eternal Sonata and MGS4 and Folklore and....